- Non-Erotic Poetry
- I Want To Run (Version 2)
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I Want To Run
The monitor in the corner spouts
you and them
and I sometimes wonder why
I sit and listen
for your monotone is like
the straight green groove
of a bottling line
and always your stature
is deaf as you grab my mind, bend it
in a brutal way like the wooden boards
on an empty wine barrel
gathering sun beams
in summer. You relate needs
of others. Still
I listen, wishing I could taste
your thoughts like that first caress
of red wine on the tongue
as steel bands bind my mind
and I can not move from the monitor
though I want to run.
- COMMENTS
WickedEveover 18 years agoI love these lines:
like the wooden boards
on an empty wine barrel
I'm adding wine barrel to my must-use list. :)
Anonymousover 18 years agoI like the way it runs like a green line across the monitor! Well done, Sweetie!
Fly
Anonymousover 18 years agoOh, this is good, WSO. Love those ending lines. The poem flowed wonderfully!
TheRainManover 18 years agoAn improvement. I still think there is not total clarity of meaning (except to the "you" that you write to. That person would understand it quite well, I think) for the reader. But it is tighter than it was, and the phrasing is crisp for the most part.
