I Wish I Were a Lesbian

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Roomates decide that girls are prettier than guys.
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[Note: This has been edited, revised, and expanded based upon your comments. Thank you very much.]

*

"I wish I were a lesbian."

What? Had Nancy heard correctly? Did Dianne really say that? Nancy turned from the TV to stare at Dianne.

Two actresses had just gotten married to one another in California, and Dianne and Nancy were watching a Hollywood news & entertainment show that had a story about it. It was a Saturday night and they were eating Chinese food and had settled in for an evening of TV and movie watching. Attractive, funloving and in their 30s, both roommates were between boyfriends and temporarily without dates.

"I wish I were a lesbian because lesbians have it so much easier, better, than straight women. Lucky them. Don't those two make a great couple?"

Recovering from her shock at Dianne's statement, Nancy responded: "Well, sure they make a great couple, but they're beautiful and glamorous actresses. The media loves to talk about lesbians like them because it gives TV a chance to show them holding hands and kissing. And maybe because so many people are so titillated by thinking about what they are going to do with each other in their honeymoon suite tonight."

Dianne continued: "While you were out of the room, another actress commented on this wedding, said she wishes them well and added, 'I envy them because girls are so beautiful and sexy. Maybe I'll marry a girl too.' In light of all the publicity over this wedding, I'll bet she does decides to marry another girl, and soon."

"If they were 2 guys the media wouldn't cover it much, no one would ask questions, few would want to see their kisses, and no one on TV would speculate about what they might do behind closed doors. But when sexy women like Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz even so much as kiss, as they do in that new movie, it makes the news and gets a million hits on Youtube. And did you see that Aubrey O'Day just told a bunch of reporters that she is gay, and she proudly showed off her sexy new girlfriend? In the old days the Hollywood studios used to arrange marriages for their stars. I wouldn't be surprised if soon they force them into lesbian weddings."

"Why is being a lesbian so sexy and glamorous?"

"Not sure. We all know that most guys get turned on by it. But I think that women are interested too because for many woman a part of us thinks we might be a lesbian, or at least bisexual. Also, a part of us wishes we were lesbians because, as I said earlier, it would be so much better and easier to be a lesbian. Maybe not in terms of conventional acceptance by society, but that is changing quickly. I mean that being with another girl would be better both in terms of having a great relationship, in emotional terms, and also better sex."

"Really? How is having a great relationship easier for lesbians?"

"With another woman you can relax, be open, and really be yourself. You are not "on call" for your man. Plus, you can really talk with another woman, like we are talking now. Men rarely really communicate, so it is hard to truly connect with a man."

Nancy laughed. "With another woman there are no fragile male egos to worry about. No 'oh my gosh, what if he can't get it up, it's the woman's fault, calamity has struck.' Why isn't it ever their fault?"

Dianne grinned. "Are you saying that men can be self-centered?"

"And, I've always thought that women are so much more romantic than men. For a man, getting a woman flowers, chocolate or little gifts, or using music to set a romantic mood, often seems like conniving sweet talk just so they can get our pants off and their rocks off, not because they really like doing it."

"Women are for sure sweeter and more romantic. Like on my last birthday - when you cooked my favorite dinner for me, and we ate and drank my favorite wine by candlelight and soft music. That was so sweet. No guy has ever done that for me." "Or for me. But it was my pleasure. I loved doing it."

"And I loved doing it for you on your birthday. I am so glad you started our birthday dinner tradition 3 years ago."

"I agree that if you want romance - any kind of romance, even to show affection like we were doing, or to get close and intimate, or to get someone in the mood for lovemaking, you'd be better off with another girl."

"Well, sure. And, if being a lesbian means, 'Who can you feel closer emotionally to, confide in better, who would be more responsive to your needs and wants - another woman, or a man' then I think almost all women would be lesbians. But wouldn't there be more drama in a relationship with another woman?"

"Maybe. But it would be drama I could deal with. It would be emotions I could relate to and understand. I think I could really understand another woman's needs and desires. With men, I usually have no clue what they really and truly want. I mean, I know that on the surface they want things like beer, sex and football. But try to really get inside the head of most men? Impossible. I could figure out how to get into another woman's head and relate to her and make her really happy much more easily."

"For sure. I can get so much closer to a woman. Maybe because we have so much more in common, we can be so much more in sync. I have always felt emotionally more open to other women and always could talk better with another girl. Of course I can talk better with you than with a guy. Does that make me a lesbian? Can't almost every girl relate better, open up better, to another girl?"

Then, after a pause she cautiously added: "We've been BFFs for more than 5 years. During this time we've bared each other's souls to each other. We've each also had several boyfriends. But if we were lesbians we wouldn't just be best friends. We'd be all set, rather than looking for men to date on Saturday night."

" True. Why do we even put up with guys?"

"Because, from a physical and sexual point of view, they're so much prettier than girls."

(They both laugh, and then Nancy continued in a mocking voice) "Men are so much more beautiful, so sensuous compared to girls. So much easier on the eyes. Who doesn't love it that guys have all that hair all over their bodies? And their smell..." Both women burst out laughing.

Just then there was another news item on the TV, about how Scarlett Johansson preferred kissing Penelope Cruz to kissing Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Johansson said: "Everybody wants to know what it was like. Penelope had less facial hair than a guy so it was certainly more pleasant. It was better than kissing Jonathan Rhys Meyers in 'Match Point'".

Nancy exclaimed: "But girls always have less facial hair than guys! Doesn't that mean it's always better to kiss another girl?"

Dianne got up and faced Nancy. "Why would any woman want to kiss a smooth faced girl when they can kiss a scratchy faced man instead?"

Dianne moved over to Nancy and continued in a voice that somewhat resembled that of Scarlett Johansson: "Penelope, I am going to kiss you, because you are so beautiful and your face will not scratch mine with your beard." Then she kissed Nancy, who was surprised but returned the kiss, first tentatively, then for real, then deeply.

Nancy decided she somehow felt safer if she too pretended to be a movie star. Then it wasn't really her that was kissing another girl: she could tell herself that it was really the movie star. So Nancy replied in her best imitation of Penelope Cruiz's voice: "Thank you Scarlett, and now I will kiss you too. Because you are so beautiful, and your face and lips are so soft. I am so glad you are not an ugly, hairy, gross guy." Then Nancy initiated another kiss, which lasted for quite a long time.

After they finished Dianne continued in her Scarlett voice: "Penelope, your last boyfriend was Gary, and the one before that was Steve. Do either of them have legs as pretty as mine?" (Dianne's legs were her best feature.) Dianne took Nancy's hand, rubbed it on her legs, up and down, and continued in her Scarlett voice: "How do my soft, smooth curvy legs feel? As good as Gary's? Or Steve's?"

Nancy replied in her Penelope voice: "No man has legs as nice as yours, especially not Steve or Gary." They both laughed. "Now let's talk about your last boyfriend, Bill. Does his bottom - she stepped back and removed her pants and turned around - look as good as mine?"

"Your underwear looks sexier than his boxers, but to really compare your bottoms I'd have to see you in the buff."

Nancy faced away from Dianne and took off her panties.

"Penelope, your rear is smooth, curvy, sensuous and gorgeous. It can't compare to Bill's rear - hard, ugly, with lots of stubbles of hair all over it."

Now Dianne took of her top and bra, moved close to Nancy, and continued in the same tone of voice. "Look at my nipples and my breasts? How could you compare them in terms of sensuality to a man's breasts and nipples?"

Nancy looked at Dianne's bare breasts, eyes wide open. She trembled slightly even though she had seen her roommate's breasts many times before. In her normal voice she whispered: "Dianne, do you every suck your boyfriends' nipples?"

"If they ask me to, sure."

"Do you like doing it?"

"Not really. It's silly from my perspective. And pathetic. There's nothing much to suck, and it hardly gives them any pleasure compared to how much I like it. Silly and sad. I feel so sorry for guys having those little things instead of what we are blessed with."

"Why do guys have them anyway? Nancy, which would you rather suck if you were given a choice - a guy's tiny, hard hairy nipples? Or mine? Aren't mine nicer than Gary's or Steve's?"

Nancy stared at Dianne's naked breasts. "You are asking me to choose between your soft, large beautiful nipples, or Gary's or Steve's gross hair covered nipples that barely respond to anything? That's -- that's not a fair question."

"Why not?"

"Because -- well, because of course a your nipples - any girl's nipples - breasts and chest - are more beautiful and sensuous, and more kissable, suckable, than any guy's. That's no contest. And your chest - of course your chest is a million times prettier than Gary's or Steve's."

"My point exactly."

"Of course girl chests are sexier. Works of art. Made for lovemaking. But not guy chests, not at all."

"My point again. So why do we suck their nipples? Just to please them, right. What about pleasing ourselves? You just said you would rather suck my breasts than a guy's."

After a moment's hesitation, Nancy nodded, "Much more." Then she added weakly: "But we are supposed to do things to guys."

"Why? And why only to guys?"

Silently, Dianne stood and moved closer to Nancy, who was sitting. Dianne stopped when her right breast was less than an inch from Nancy's mouth. Tentatively, Nancy stuck out her tongue. She stretched it until it reached the tip of Dianne's nipple. Then she closed her eyes and reached forward and lightly kissed it. Dianne gasped lightly, looked down and said softly, "Isn't that better than kissing a guy's nipple? Why don't you kiss her again."

Nancy again closed her eyes, and kissed the nipple again. And then again, much harder, and then she began sucking it. Dianne pulled Nancy's mouth tight against her chest and Nancy wrapped her arms around Dianne's back. After a few minutes, as Dianne moaned louder and louder, Nancy switched to her other breast. And after a few minutes back again, and again, for another 15 minutes, as if neither ever wanted the magic to end. Nancy then started to lick her stomach and chest, and after a few minutes smiled at Dianne and said, "No hair in my mouth from licking your chest and stomach, Dianne. Try it yourself."

Silently, they switched positions, with Dianne sucking Nancy's breasts and licking her stomach and even her shoulders. First tentatively, but quickly with energy and passion. And then more passion as Nancy moaned louder and louder. Then, despite their trembling, they paused.

"That was incredible."

"Beyond incredible."

"You -- you -- you have made love to my nipples, my breasts, my stomach, way better than any man ever did. Why haven't we ever done this before?"

"Because we were stupid. Your nipples and breasts are 1000 times more fun to suck than any guy's nipples. A million times. And your tummy - why would I ever want to suck a guy's hairy tummy or chest? "

Both laughed. It was not even close for either of them, and they both knew it.

"Nancy, do you ever suck cocks?"

"Sure. If they ask. And they always ask."

(Again they both laughed) "Do you like it?"

"No. Not really. No."

"Why not?"

"Cocks are disgusting looking. I don't like to swallow cum, and I really hate the thought that pee comes out of them. Balls are even worse looking, so hairy, and I hate to touch or lick them. But I do like the control and the power that comes from making men come this way. I get pleasure from giving pleasure."

"Did you have to mention that pee comes out of them! We put them in our mouths! And we let guys stick them in our pussies!"

"They stick them into us - that makes them pee sticks. They stick their pee sticks into us!"

"Disgusting. All that you said. Horrible. But true. I'll never think of a cock again as anything except a pee stick. Why do we suck their pee sticks? Have we no self respect?"

"Because we are stupid. Pee sticks really are loathsome, and also a bit frightening looking."

"If we are going to use nasty but true descriptions, I can think of a better and shorter name for guys' hairy balls. How about "hairballs". They expect us to lick and suck on their hairballs! And we do it!!"

"So the only good thing about sucking or licking on guys is the positive feeling we get from giving pleasure. But, couldn't we receive the same pleasure from giving a woman pleasure? Making a woman come? If you sucked or licked on a clit there would be no sperm or pee issues to deal with. Besides, girls often cum more than once. So if you lick or suck clits instead you might get twice the pleasure, from making your lover cum two or more times. But none of the grossness."

"So, maybe twice the pleasure with none of the yuckiness! And, after the guy cums he probably won't take care of you, but a girl won't be wiped out by cuming. I've been there many times - I suck off a guy and then he just lies there."

"So have I. Guys are usually so selfish after they cum."

"And sometimes even before! Some guys cum first even though they know that wipes them out. I think girls are much more likely to get pleasure from giving pleasure then guys are."

"For sure. Its usually the female role, for better or worse."

"Nancy......if you had to suck a guy's pee stick until he cums, or lick a girl's clit until she cums.....which would you rather do?"

"........"

"Come on. Pee stick and hairballs, or a pussy and clit....."

"A - a - a clit is made for love. Not to pee with. The only reason for a clit is to bring pleasure. A cock, with pee, sperm and pleasure is so -- well, primitive -- like part of a lower form of life."

(They both laugh again.)

"Well said. But you didn't answer the question."

"A -- a -- a girl's. I'd rather get a girl off." Nancy stared into Dianne's eyes, who stared back.

Dianne stripped her remaining clothing and stood naked in front of Nancy. "Nancy, I'm so sorry I don't have a pee stick and hairballs. Would you settle for my pussy instead? Is my pussy more repulsive than a pee stick and hairballs?"

"Dianne, you're -- beautiful," Nancy whispered. "A clit really and truly is made for love. Its only for lovemaking, and that makes it awesome, like a pretty flower. And so is all of you. Your lips, your neck and face, your hair, your breasts, your nipples, your curves, everything about you is beautiful and wonderful. Prettier than any guy could ever be. Girls are simply art. Every bit of you is prettier than any part of any guy could ever be. You are a gorgeous, sensuous work of art. Made for lovemaking."

Gently Nancy kissed and embraced Dianne again, and then finally gently pushed her down onto the bed and touched her clit with her tongue. Dianne jumped, and then settled down while Nancy licked her softly, and then harder and more insistently, slowly and patiently yet passionately making love to her. Alternatively licking and sucking, and also fondling her breasts. Quickly Dianne's moans grew more intense, until they turned into words: "Nancy, oh God, Nancy, I can't believe how good this feels, this is too good, Oh God, oh my God, how can you, oh my Goddddddddddd OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD.

After Dianne came they changed position, and this time Nancy was the one to feel she had gone to heaven. After she recovered for several minutes she spoke: "Dianne, you are so much better a lover than any of my old boyfriends." Dianne modestly replied, "Well, I have a huge advantage over them. Like you said, I am built for lovemaking. Just like you are."

Then Nancy kissed Dianne deeply, their longest kiss yet, and whispered in her tenderest voice, "I love you. I think I have always loved you. In fact, I know it. For 5 years you have been my soul mate and best friend. But now I want you to be more. I want you ... I want you to be my wife. Will you? Will you marry me?" Dianne replied quickly, "I love you too, and have always loved you too, except that we didn't call it love. But it was, and it is. Of course I will be your wife, if you will be my wife." Nancy breathed, "Yes, of course, of course." And then they kissed again.

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  • COMMENTS
4 Comments
RUSTYSKINSRUSTYSKINSalmost 13 years ago
Kinda rough on the guys here but...

this is a believable story. Not all guys are hard asses with a pee stick.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago

A little less male bashing, please and thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Wonderfully told.

I loved reading this story. I really enjoyed the way in which it was told.

EhmelAaltoEhmelAaltoabout 15 years ago
I like the tongue in cheek premise...

...and style of your stories. Though this makes for poor wank material :-)) Real porn is always, somehow, serious. It has to be. While real hot sex is often quite funny. Wonder why.

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