In Sara's Pantsbyyoubadboy©
So, it took both of us - got easier with time.
In terms of our conversations, the issue never came up again, she never broached it nor I. Non of our secrets, games or truth or dare.
The other thing that was never spoken of between us was that she had, in fact, begun to do way more things with Mike after we had stopped doing what we had been doing. So Mike had become my stand in - or so I thought of it. Mike is my best friend, and HE never talked about it. I could only imagine what they were doing, and there was a part of me that believed that she had told him not to talk about it with me.
What I felt was jealousy.
I also worried about Sara saying something, anything, even a hint. I could tell by all our friends behavior, hers and mine, that she had never breathed a word about what we had done, and it is true that Mike probably didn't talk about anything with me, not because she told him to, but because he knew she was my sister, especially the way guys can talk about who they are seeing. No other reason than that.
But, he had no idea. For my part, I felt a jealousy, more than I had ever felt before about anyone.
My anger and jealousies came out in subtle ways, though I tried really hard to control it. I am sure Sara knew, and I figured she might know why.
AND despite everything I could not stop thinking about her. The times I touched her was like this distant dream, that I could conjure up any time I wanted, this alternate reality that was slowly fading into the past, but that I could still remember as a fantasy. And I wanted to remember it, and would masturbate furiously as I did.
I was out one night and happened upon Sara and Mike. I was riveted to the spot and watched from a distance. It was hard to see, but no doubt I could make out her frame, the way she stood and moved. She was wearing this little dress, leaning the whole front of her body against him. A dress! Wearing a dress! Not like she wore a lot of clothes, but a dress is one piece of clothing. How delicious that would be. I could picture the access to her pussy in a dress, the way it hugged her waist, and those long legs. She was really beautiful and Mike was with her talking, they were laughing. She had her arm around him, pressing up to him, and then I watched them kiss, and I could feel the kiss. My mind rocketing back to her kiss of me, and my kiss of her. I could feel her tongue, her teeth, the way she tipped her head back, the feeling of her yielding her soft lips. I looked away, my cheeks burning.
I stayed hidden in the shadows watching as they laughed and kissed. I went home in a very uneven mood.
Next day was a Saturday and I, casually as I could, tried to talk to her about it.
"I saw you sitting with Mike the other day. Are you you two together? You never told me."
"Me? No. No, Mike just happened to sit down with us."
"Us. I think I only saw YOU." She was lieing.
Sara looked frustrated, "No. I was with Marnie. Definitely. What business is it of your, you spying on me again?"
"No. Sara, it's No big deal. I just thought I saw you, s'all. It's only just, mom said no dates while you are living here."
Sara turned on me, "She never said NO DATES."
"Well she did say she does not want you bringing guys home. And that would, make Mike pretty convenient wouldn't it? Dating him, since he's my . . ."
"Listen! What do you mean, no dates? First. Mom never said that. He was just sitting there with, us. Second, I'm not really dating Mike, so he comes here. It's to see you. I'm not bringing him home."
"Yeah." The kind of yeah where I called Her lie. "He's MY best friend. I don't want you around him - like that. What happens when you two break up? When he comes around then, to see me?"
"You're a fine one to talk about this with. You my mom or something! I don't have to justify myself to you. Nothings happening. God!"
"Ok. Forget it. No big deal. No big deal. It's just . . ." I'd gone too far, I don't know what I wanted from this conversation.
"Jesus David. It wasn't."
"Sorry. Just saying I saw you. Making conversation."
"Ask Marnie. SHE was with me. You'd like to talk to HER anyway. Any rules with her around here? Mom! She's MY best friend, by the way."
"But we'd both be in high school. Your in college. Mike's in high school and your here cause . . ."
"Forget it. This conversation is over. Just ask Marnie."
"Well, Ok. Yeah. But I want to ask you something about Marnie then?"
"Oh no, YOU can't have her. She belongs to me. She's MY friend."
"I'll just ignore that. Now you're being stupid. See Mike! I don't care, it's fine, I don't care. Marnie would never have anything to do with me anyway, she's a Freshman."
"Oh, you think so?"
"I wanted to ask, have you told her anything about, like secrets? Anything."
There was a long pause. Like a light going on.
"Secrets?" I shouldn't have said anything. "No, have YOU said anything to Mike?"
"You think I'm nuts don't you?"
The air went out of her just then. "I don't think anything David. No. I haven't said anything." She calmed down. Softened. "Is that what this is about?"
"It's just conversation."
"You have to stop it. Forget anything ever happened."
"Understand. Cause if this all gets out of hand, we might have to see what 'mom' thinks we should do, since mom has the say in everything. What do you think she would say about our secret."
"Tell Mom what?"
"You know what."
"No, I don't think that would be very funny."
"I wonder what she'd say about that? She'd be a hell of a lot more upset than me bringing a guy home, wouldn't she?"
I didn't know what to say, or what she meant. I did not want to know.
It was over. In a way I had not even accepted up to then.
I didn't care if Mike saw Sara.
At least that's what I said every day. Mike didn't talk about it, and I didn't talk about it with either of them.
Mike would come over ostensibly to see me, but invariably end up spending some time with Sara either downstairs or in her room. I didn't keep track, I didn't care.
Mike and I were watching TV one day, he on the bottom bunk and me on top, when Sara came into the room.
She stood in the same spot as when she decides which bunk to get into. She looked down at Mike and then up at me. I didn't even move, or consider.
She hopped up and lay down next to me. Mike was on the bottom bunk, and Sara jumped in next to me on the top bunk. I could not even comprehend what had just happened.
Mike called out, "Hey, lay down here."
Sara didn't answer, just laid on her stomach with her chin over the bed, her legs laying right beside me.
My heart just about exploded.
She was wearing a pair of those pink short shorts, all tugged up tight around her hips. She was wearing a small V neck half top. Her long legs and bare skin from her hips to the middle of her back. She was barefoot as usual, legs crossed at the ankle, just watching the TV.
It had been at least a month, and two weeks since our fight. My hands were visibly trembling. Was she testing me? Teasing me? What the hell was this?
No way was I going to touch her. She just lay there, the way she always does. Did not move.
I started to think about what she would do if I DID touch her, just touched her a little. She would stop me now I thought. There is no way, she would be mad at me. I kept thinking this, over and over. I was looking up her legs. Last time Sara laid in that spot like that her skirt was up around her waist and I had taken her panties.
Her panties! Shit, they were still tucked under the mattress. I had never given them back. I was hard now. Rock hard.
I could test her.
Would SHE stop me.
No, I was not going to do it.
I lay my hand on her leg, and held it in one spot on her. I was shaking so bad that I could barely hold it still. She did not move, not at all. No indications, just her watching TV.
Swat my hand away. Stop me. I was angry. Excited. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. It was too much.
Why did she get up on top? Why not next to Mike?
I began to rub along the length of her thigh, right up to the edge of her shorts and down her long legs, rubbing her calves, the inside of her thighs. Long delicious strokes. It had been so long. Sara letting me, no movement. I rubbed one leg and then the other, slow long strokes on her.
I decided to raise the stakes, and settled my hand on her butt again. Not moving just lay it on her. Mike couldn't see. She did not even react to my touch, not the soft caress of my hands or my eyes on her body. I pressed my fingers into the crack of her ass, wriggling my fingers on her, and slipping lower down her soft ass, noticing something different on my way to her thighs.
No panties! Fucking shit!!
She had to know. She had put those shorts on without panties underneath. Came in here, and hopped up here with me. I slid my hand along her legs again, caressing inside her thighs, long strokes with the front and back of my hand. She just lay there with her ankles crossed, her legs apart.
I slipped my fingers inside the loose leg of her shorts, and wiggled it up to her bare cunny, feeling the warmth and light pussy hair. I felt her legs open, as she brought her one knee up. She was letting me, giving me perfect access. She wanted this! I was touching her again. My hand was rubbing her pussy. I could not believe this was happening.
I slipped my fingers along her slit, and her pussy was soaking sopping wet, she had been wet the whole time. I was so hard now as I began to run my fingers up and down her sex, opening her cunny lips and settling my middle finger right over her clit. Just as I touched her there she began to dance on the end of my finger, drawing circles with her around my hand. I let my finger dig into the hood of her clit, rubbing her back and forth as she moved against me.
I found her sweet little hole with my thumb and squished it deep inside, I watched her visibly rise up off the bed as I did that. No matter how she moved now I was moving my hand on her, finger fucking her. She wiggled more freely on my hand, waving her ass in the air, in a steady rhythm that matched the movement of my fingers, faster and faster. I could see her tensing and gripping the blankets, shuddering on my hand. She was already cumming.
I watched Sara's body twitching to my touch, could see her cunny with the leg of her shorts pushed to the side, and the whole time Mike is laying on the bottom bunk. She was leaning her hips back hard against my hand, and I could feel the quivering, her trembling as she came. I almost came in my pants as her orgasm spasmed on my thumb. I could feel her cumming, the way her vagina squeezed tight on my thumb. Her cheeks were so red, the tips of her ears. Her eyes were closed and her head tilted back, as it had that morning I fed her and the time I had kissed her. It was amazing, it seemed better than before.
She began to relax into the mattress, to pull her legs together a little, and continued to watch TV. Her puss was covered in cum that I had smeared all over as I rubbed her, and I continued to hold my hand cupped over her puss. Whenever I touched her clit though she would jerk and spasm, and began turning a little so that my hand dropped out of her pants. I smeared her pussy juices on her thighs as I once again made long soft strokes up her thighs. She continued laying there, taking deep breaths, no acknowlegement of what I had done. I rubbed my hand over her ass and over the crotch of her shorts, rubbing her pussy over the fabric. I stroked her bare back, and reached around squeezing her breasts over her top, basically touching her anywhere I wanted.
She lay there a little longer, not moving, not looking at me. Her breathing gradually slowing, settling.
Finally, she rolled up to a sitting position and saying to Mike, "Come on. I'm tired of this show."
I watched her hop off the bed, and take his hand as they left.
She never even looked back at me.
After a few moments I closed my eyes, brought my fingers to my nose. Inhaled. Oh God!
I don't know what I thought.
Mike could have caught us. Maybe he heard us.
It also included the realization that 'this' was not so easy a thing to stop between us. It might go for some weeks, but then, there it was.
And that it was her weakness, not just mine.
And it had to stop.
Mornings had become our time together.
When I came in she was sitting and eating cereal. No one else was up. We were the early birds.
I sat down and filled a bowl, poured in the milk.
Sara was sitting there with her robe, watching me as I came in and sat down. I saw nothing, or did I? This time it seemed a little different.
I had no idea where to start.
The clock had reset. Instead of one month, it had been one day. The awkwardness of it all, all over again. I was looking at her, wondering if she had anything on under her robe, could not stop the thought. It was open a little, forming a V, I could see her bare skin. My heart began punding, I felt myself flush a little.
Did she notice me looking? The way I looked at her. She pulled at it.
"Morning." She met my eyes, smiled.
"Anyone else up?"
I kept eating.
"I want to tell you something. Know why I didn't want to lay down next to Mike? Yesterday, I mean."
I looked up from my bowl. "No."
She looked at me with a wry smile, "Cause he can't ever keep his fucking hands off of me...Just kidding. Stupid joke."
She looked deflated.
I said, "I'm sorry."
"No. David, it's, it's ok. I said we had to stop. And we do. But, yesterday, I didn't want to. Just for a little while I didn't want to. I'm the one whose sorry."
"I tried, I really did." We were speaking in a really low voice, and both of us kept looking at the door.
"So have I."
"We went a month."
"But I don't know how it works when one of us stops." She stretched out her hands and tugged the robe tight around herself. "It feels so good. Just to be touched. Innocent when you don't think about it. You are so sweet about it."
"I like it. I like touching you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't."
"And no one knows. I wrote about it a little in my diary, but I tore the pages out and threw them all away."
"Yeah. So how do we stop?"
She stared off to the side a long time. "We keep trying. We have to be stronger. I can't lay in your bed." She looked at me. Serious. "Not anymore. Sorry."
"It's ok. I understand."
We began eating, when she tipped her head up at me, "Do you think about me? I mean the last month, did you?"
"Me too. It was so sweet the way it feels, but it kept escalating. You know?"
"It's my fault."
"It's our fault. It's ok. And by the way, when can I have my panties back?"
I smiled, "Trade you for a fresh pair."
Sara broke up with Mike, it was no big deal. It turned out she did not end up liking him that much. But the problem was that neither of us were going out with anyone, and I would get these urges and now I assumed she did too. She never got in the bed with me though. Never once. And that was good. But I could NOT stop thinking about her. It was like this obsession.
I went to her one time and asked, "Sara. One time. Just one time. Could we?"
She looked at me, stern. "No."
"Just your legs, just soft touches on your legs?"
She closed her eyes, glancing to the side. Thinking. "You know we can't. I'm sorry."
"Would you let me kiss you?"
After a very long time, I don't even know how long I heard my name being called in the house.
It was mom.
"Your sister wants you to help her with her algebra."
"Yeah well your sister is taking high school algebra, and you know it better than anyone."
"Where is she?"
"She's in her room."
My heart was beating in my chest when I went to her room and knocked. "Yeah."
I went in and she looked up at me. She was in a really tiny halter top and shorts, the ones she always wears. A black pair. Her halter was yellow, it tied behind her neck. It was just a thin fabric running up and over her breasts. When she lay on her stomach you could see the curve of them. She did not have small breasts and in halters they really looked fantastic. It was a very hot day, and her room was warm. She had all her stuff laid out on the bed.
I had to be strong.
She sat up. "Mom tell you?"
So I sat on her bed and we went through the rules of algebra. I would have sat there all day helping her. At one point she was laying on her stomach reading, just the same way as when she lays on my bed watching TV. It totally reminded me of that and I could not stop looking.
The way she looked was overwhelming.
So, as she lay there I put my hand on her leg. She kept reading, did nothing. Here we were alone in her room with the door closed, I thought maybe. I began to slide my hand along her thigh.
In a very flat tone she said, "David."
I took my hand away. "Sorry."
"Help me," and she started asking more questions. Finally, I told her she had to just work out a number of the problems to get the hang of it and that I would check them when she was done.
As she was working problems, once again I lay my hand on her leg.
My hand trembled as I held to her. "David." She said again.
I quietly said, "Just your legs, let me just rub your legs."
She said nothing, so as she worked her problems I began to run my hands over her legs. Because I was sitting beside her I could use both hands, up and down her long legs. She did not react at all to my touch. And for my part I simply rubbed her legs, nothing else, I did not want to stop.
Her narrow waist was bare and her shoulders. I loved the way her hair fell down over her shoulders, and I realized how I loved her smell.
She turned to me as I continued to rub her, it was the first time she looked at me with my hands on her body.
"Check these," was all she said.
She handed them back and I went over them. Three problems and they were all correct.
"That is perfect. Great."
And as I said that I rubbed my hand over her butt, stroking my hand down onto her thigh. She smiled and said, I'm going to try another one.
As she worked the problem I began to rub her legs again. She did only one problem this time and showed it to me. I looked and it was right.
"Great job, perfect." I said, and this time as I did I caressed her breast, the bare skin that was not covered at the side of her halter. She was still laying on her stomach, and without reacting let me touch her breast like that.
I could not believe what I had just done. Or that she had let me.
"Ok. She said. "One more."
She turned again and handed it back. "You're getting it. Very good." And again as I said it, this time I pressed my hand right under her halter and gave her entire breast a soft squeeze, more than filling my hand.
She let me.
As she worked the next problem, I was running my fingers over her ass, over the fabric of the shorts and then back down onto her thighs. I tried slipping my fingers under her shorts until I was touching her panties, but I felt her stiffen and pull her legs together. She said nothing, but I let go of her.
She handed back another problem.
And I reached my hand and caressed her bare breast beneath the fabric, and feeling her tight little nipple, I wrapped my fingers around and gave it a little squeeze. She lay on her stomach again working on her next problem, and I sat up higher and began to run my hand over her back, running along her shoulders and down the small of her back and then reaching around, began caressing her breasts again, squeezing her nipples.