tagHumor & SatireInjustice League

Injustice League


"Yo Wonderbabe...how 'bout a quickie?" the Flashy dude asks as he presents a dozen black roses he snagged 5 minutes ago from some field out in Holland.

The Wonderbabe looks at the speedster in disbelief "Sorry Flashy my man...us Amazons crave the womanly touch. Right Hawk sister...?" Wonderbabe responds as she plants a wet kiss to her lady friend emerging from their joint bedroom.

"No doubt 'bout it W'...especially when you tie me up with that rope of yours and make me tell you the truth of all my lesbian fantasies. Just gets me hot..." Hawkbabe explains as she pulls Wonderbabe back inside for yet another round of fun.

Suddenly the wind picks up inside the Injustice League building as someone new flies into the mix. "So Flashy...I hear you are looking for a quickie?" asks the man of steel balls.

"No Sups'...my sperm is loaded with Kryptonite anyways..." Flashy responds with his patented smirk.

"Are you sure? I mean with a metal incased condom I should be ok." Supersperman says with a lick of his lips.

"Think I'll pass on that Sups'..." Flashy counters as he looks for a quick exit just in case.

At that precise moment a green light emerges from Supersperman's bedroom. "Hey guys...what's up?" the green one says as he polishes off his ring.

Supersperman immediately flies over to see his partner and tells him "I'm surprised to see you out of bed so early Greeny...."

"Well Spermypoo my ass is a bit sore...and next time stop pulling my hair while I'm eating you out...One Sex Luther's enough..." Greeny tells Supersperman as all is forgiven with a deep throat kiss.

As the guys make-out Flashy hears someone from behind. "Hey guys...what's happening?" says an invincible voice that slowly materializes.

"Oh it's you Martian Manheader...Look dude I know you can go transparent and all...but must you always show up when I'm taking a shower?" Flashy says in a rather loud tone as the Martian Manheader backs down.

"Sorry if I offended you Mr. Flashy...it's just my native Martian tradition..." the Martian Manheader responds as he puts his hands in his pants and starts to jerk off.

"Flashy...why don't you apologize for insulting MMs culture...?" Supersperman says he gets in Flashy's face.

The Flash man doesn't back down. "The dude's planet is dead. Why should I apologize?" Flashy says as the anger begins to boil.

Supersperman looks over at Greeny blows an air kiss and turns back to Flashy "Because in the Injustice League we can't stand for this type of bickering. We need to be united."

Flashy sticks his finger in his mouth and makes some gagging sounds to which everybody around him has a dead-pan serious look "Well I'm thinking of splitting. The Batdude was right. You guys are all gay and no fun to hang around with. No wonder he only comes to bail you out when you are in trouble."

The Hawkbabe has since emerged wearing her dominatrix outfit and decides to confront Flashy "Well come to think of it...maybe you should leave Flashy. I mean us warriors know it would only take a gay man to go around in tights all day long."

"Well I'm not gay..." Flashy offers in anger.

The Wonderbabe steps into the fray "Come on Flashy...I mean even the few times I slept with you, it seemed you would finish way before me. I'd definitely give you the award for the worst lay I've had."

"That's 'cause I'm the Flashy Wonderbaby. I do my business only quick and you're a lesbian anyways." Flashy says as he faces the women down.

"No I am bisexual" the Wonderbabe explains "An equal opportunity fuck."

Flashy decides to leave when he sees Supersperman step in his path "I think it's time you accepted the fact that you are living in the closet Flashy..."

Flashy screams back "No way! You are freekin' nuts!"

"Did someone just touch my ass?" Supersperman offers up looking around surprised.

Suddenly all eyes are on Flashy.

"No Supersperman I didn't..." Greeny says as he tries to contain himself from laughing.

"And it couldn't have been any of us girls as we've had our fingers down on each other." Wonderbabe offers as she goes back to kissing Hawkbabe.

Flashy figures things out "Well then it must have been the Martian dude who got you Sups'..."

The Martian Manheader in true Vulcan-like form counters "'fraid not Flashy. I was busy in deep medication communicating with people from my home planet."

Supersperman's eyes turn red as he towers over Flashy "So it was YOU Flashy!

"What?" Flashy says in shock.

Supersperman grabs Flashy around the wrist "It was you who in a blink of an eye went for a Supersperman ass feel...ADMIT IT!"

Flashy tries to get free from Supersperman's iron grip "No way...I been right here talking with you..."

Supersperman does not back down "Yeah...but you do move faster then anybody else. True?"

Flashy argues his point "Yeah...so...?"

"So it must have been you..." Supersperman says as his red eyes are staring at Flashy's pants.

Flashy sees Supersperman lick his lips "No it wasn't...Listen...I don't like your tone Sups'...and hey...what's the Martian dude doing communicating with dead people for anyways?"

"Once again you've gone and insulted his culture..." Supersperman responds as he looks over at his close friend Greeny "Landturd...now!"

"Right Supersperman..." Greeny responds as a ray of green light forms a clamp around Flashy.

Flashy sees the jig is up and knows escape is the only option "Hey what gives Green? Get this light off me..."

"Hold him tight Green..." Supersperman tells him "Let's bring Flashy out of the closet..."

Flashy tries to wiggle free "Get away from me you homos..."

Supersperman has got Flashy right where he likes it "Well I'm about to go homicidal on your butt Flashy..."

Suddenly the lights go off in the Injustice Building as all the superheroes look around.

"Hey who turned off the light?" Greeny looks around.

"Wo...something just buzzed my ear..." Supersperman says as something impales itself next to him.

"What is it?" Wonderbabe asks. "Looks like some Bat..." Supersperman says as he breaks it between his hands.

A voice from above breaks through the darkness "It is a Bat...Now stay away from Flashy Supersperman..."

Though dark Supersperman addresses the loner Injustice League member "Listen Batdude...Flashy here needs to be taught a lesson..."

The Batdude disagrees "Well Supersperman this Kryptonite in my hand suggests that you are not going to do anything with the Flashy..."

A piece of green stone lands at Supersperman's feet. "Oh I feel so weak..." Supersperman says as he collapses.

The Injustice League members back down as the shadow of the Batdude grows larger "And I suggest then none of you try anything on Flashy..."

Greeny knows not to mess with Batdude "Ok Batdude you win" he says.

Flashy feels relieved at last "Thanks Batdude...I knew you'd come through for me...tell this Landturd guy to turn down his tractor grip on me...Batdude?"

The Batdude moves closer "I'll take care of that in a second my good friend..."

Flashy watches as the other superheroes stay back "Well I knew I could depend upon...hey what's that I feel on my ass?"

The Batdude whispers in Flashy's ear "Flashy?"

Flashy now sees the other superheroes smile "What Batdude?"

The Batdude says "Happy Birthday"

To which Flashy can only respond with "Arggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!"

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