It's an odd wind

Poem Info
55 words
3.9k
0
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

It’s an Odd Wind

It’s an odd wind, this westerly
that buffets the street.
Sometimes a mint-vinegared scent
wafts along the tar seal.
Sometimes roasts float
on the breeze, beguile
the mind and alert
the taste buds. And sometimes,
as I sniff the air,
my slanted green eyes stalk
the neighbours’ silky bantam.

  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
9 Comments
Bill DadaBill Dadaabout 18 years ago
~

I agree with highnoon+, mint-vinegared is on the bizarre side, of course that's my favorite side and ditto the last two lines.

Maria2394Maria2394over 18 years ago
different

eerie, almost. I hate the score thing, because I think it is closer to 95 than 75,but I didnt want to hit 100% and have only voted a 4.

I might suggest one tiny change.

where you have "mint-vinegared", try it without the - ed on vinegar. It makes it softer, just by the deletion of the hard "d" sound

the rest of the poem seems fem throughout ( regardless of the sex of the bird, lol)

.

I really enjoyed this, made me think of howling winds and halloween :)

LeviluvLeviluvover 18 years ago
.

my slanted green eyes stalk

the neighbours’ silky bantam.

Awesome write!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
#=#

Your poem was mentioned in the new poems review thread.

Tess

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Some nice changes...

...you've made here, WSO. "Sometimes roasts float/on the breeze" is, I think, quite good. I also agree with 1201 that the last two lines are excellent.

tz

Show More