Jack and John's Wild Weekend!

You've heard all about that "Jack the Ripper,"
And heard about "Jack the Knife" my Friend.
But here's a story about "Texas Jack,"
And the "Fun" he had one "Wild Weekend!"

It started off with Jack and Juanita,
He'd "HAD" to run off her man Jose.
Jack thought Juanita might be "grateful,"
And he figured she "might" want to "play!"

But Juanita had "Other" ideas,
And her mind wasn't on Texas Jack.
She was going to move back to Mexico,
And she "wasn't EVER" comin' "Back!"

Then Texas Jack met another "Beauty,"
A shy pretty girl named Bonnie White.
She made Jack feel like a "Million Dollars,"
And Texas Jack just KNEW she was "Right!"

But Bonnie White had a "few" short comings,
And the "worst" of these was her "Old Man."
Texas Jack hadn't "known" she was "married,"
And he had to kick her "Old Man's" can!

Texas Jack was feeling kind of "Misused,"
So he gave his old friend John a call.
John told his friend "Hey come to Tennessee!
I'm thinkin' we can have us a "Ball!"

So Texas Jack "straddled" his old Harley,
And started headin' Tennessee way.
He was lookin' forward to some parties,
And he couldn't hardly wait to play!

The "Blind Man" guided Jack to "The City,"
And introduced him to a "Sweet" Gal.
A "Sweet Tittied" blond named "Dolly Parton,"
And Jack called John a "Fantastic" Pal!"

Jack and Dolly, and John with Miss Tucker,
Had a "Weekend Orgy" on the "Lake!"
Their party went straight on through 50 hours,
And they kept going "without" a "Break!"

Texas Jack went back to Texas "Happy,"
Knowing Dolly Parton's "Tits" were "Real."
He thought about Dolly's scrumptious "Bottom,"
And chuckled when he thought about her "Squeals!"

Texas Jack and his Harley made it home,
He called John before he hit the sack.
He thanked "Old Blind John" for his "Wild Weekend,"
John smiled and told his friend, "Yall come back!!"