Jinnis and Wishes and Tits, Oh My?!

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An archeologist matches wits with a genie; he wins, he loses.
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You wouldn’t know it to look at me now, but I was a fiftyish, chubby, archeologist who spent most of his life digging in the southwestern desert for government wages as a civil servant. My name was Eric Stahl. My stamina was not what it was before, and when I got to cum, there wasn’t much but a dribble - not that I got a lot of opportunities out in the boondocks. I lived in southeastern Arizona near Benson, digging when civil engineering or civil contractors hit something of an archeological interest. I would come in, do the excavation take pictures and remove the artifacts and judge whether continued work would disturb further remains of a public concern. The story really begins when a state highway turned up a lot of pottery shards and what might have been an Indian burial.

How the subject of this peculiar tale got in the Indian burial cleft, I cannot begin to tell you. I can tell you the burial itself was a good solid date back to about 1300 AD. My first thought was “hoax”, but the clay bottle was labeled in what had to be Arabic, and the wax stopper was undeniably marked with a Seal of Solomon. It was an afterthought at best, tucked back in a crack in the rocks so that none of the other diggers saw it. I came back in the dark with a flashlight and lifted it out gently after taking about a dozen pictures of it in place. It kind of made me feel better that I wasn’t really screwing up the site record. I was leaving the next day so it was no big deal to squirrel it away with my stuff.

When I got it home, I turned it over and over in my hands - I deal in Native American archeology, not middle eastern stuff, so I had no idea what the Arabic calligraphy on the clay bottle read, but I was amazed that it should have been where it was in the first place and the Seal of Solomon picqued my curiosity. Heck, I’d read the Thousand and One Nights over and over as a kid, and read it again as an adult in the multi-volume Burton translation. These were not really kiddy stories, but the Seal of Solomon was associated with locking away the Jinns and Efrits of Arabic folklore., and here by God was a bottle which had every appearance of antiquity and an untouched seal. Genies, afrits, and mysterious bottles in unlikely places were not part of my workaday life.

There was nothing for it but to open it.

At first it was a disappointment when the seal broke and the bottle opened, nothing much happened at all. No puff of smoke, no smell of brimstone, just a bottle. But there was a hush of quiet expectation, like I was no longer alone in the room.

Then it spoke. “I have slept a long time, Son of Adam, and I wish not to tarry here longer than necessary. I owe you three wishes, then I will be returned to my prison.”

The figure slowly levitated out of the bottle, no more than a few inches tall. It hovered over the floor and then the feet touched the ground and the figure seemed to swell till the Jinn stood about four feet tall. “What is your wish?”

I had opened the bottle, I still sat there amazed, after slowly picking up my chin from the floor, I said, “This isn’t some kind of joke is it?”

“Look, Mac, I just got out of a bottle after Allah only knows how many years, and you ask me if I am real or not. Give me a friggin’ break, okay.” The Jinn patted his little cloven foot on the floor.

“ You have a very good command of English for someone locked away for all this time.” I replied.

The Jinn looked puzzled. “English? I speak Arabic, its part of the charm that you understand me, okay? Get on with it, Knowing that after your third wish I get stuck back in the bottle is almost more than I can stand.”

I took a slow breath. “From what I understand, I can get in a lot of trouble if I don’t think out my wishes pretty well. Isn’t that right?”

The Jinn sighed. “ Caveat Emptor, buddy! I am not responsible for the outcome of your wishes, just fulfilling them with as little effort as I can. Any heat you take is what you made for yourself, okay?”

“Okay, okay. I don’t suppose you can give me hints about how to ask for the wishes, huh?”

“Like what’s in it for me, if I do? After your done and I’m done its back in the friggin’ bottle for me.”

I decided that maybe there should be something in it for him after all, if he was on my side, then maybe I wouldn’t get stung as bad as the stories said I might. “Suppose I made a last wish to set you free, what would happen then?”

“I’d be free to do whatever I want. And I might be real pissed with men in general if I got loose - just tryin’ to be honest with you. . .”

I took the plunge. “If I get what I want in the first two wishes, then I would give you your freedom with the third, its no skin off my nose.”

His little eyes glowed, and I knew he was not to be trusted. “Sure, guy, I’d be happy to give you some advice. Bargained well and done.”

“I can stipulate in the wishes, right and if its all one continuous wish on one subject, I could work it around to get what I want, right?”

“Yeah, sure, guy. I can work it out, and if I did not have to go back in that bottle, I’d do a real good job for you, sure.”

I took a breath; a second, just to settle my nerves. This needed some thought. I needed wealth and a way to make sure I lived long enough to enjoy that wealth in the way that seemed the best to me. “Selfish is as selfish does,” as Gump might say.

The Jinn seemed a little impatient. He could damned well wait as far as I was concerned.

“Okay, Jinni. I want my first wish to take care of living for a long time, not immortality, mind you that wouldn’t be fair. I want to have control over my body completely, I want to be able to sense disease, break downs of any kind in my body and heal it in direct manipulation - kill the germs, patch the damage whatever. I want to be able to do this without undue pain or discomfort in a matter of a couple minutes and wind up with a body that is completely healthy. I want to be able to shed fat, tone muscle add bone, height, weight or shrink height and weight and make my body look like whatever I want, okay. And once I have a body appearance I want to keep, then I get to have a full set of identity papers that will pass muster anywhere - you know passport, driver’s license, social security - whatever I need - a portfolio of identity that changes with my body appearance. Can you pull that off?” I smiled at him, “is there anything I should know about the ramifications of this?”

“Well, boss - its awful open ended about the identity thing, sure you can fix what’s broken, change your outward appearance; but you’re a guy, I can’t let you change into a woman - you gotta keep your wee-wee okay? And I can only give you a limited number of these identities - let’s say four including the one you got now.”

“ I could change my body to other looks and appearances, but I just couldn’t have any valid ID, right?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever?”

“Okay let’s go for it, but you gotta help me through the process the first time, okay?”

”You got it, boss!”

I thought about my body and started to feel everything, there were half a dozen microbes of pathological intent in my system right now, I carefully weeded them out. I knew which ones would harm me and which ones were there to help instinctively. I eliminated placque from my arteries, patched damage to ligaments and joints, took care of a weakness in a cerebral artery that would eventually have blown and given me a severe stroke. I dropped sixty pounds of fat and added twenty poiunds of muscle on my frame. My thinning hair filled in. The three teeth I was missing grew back; and I had to spit out a half dozen dental fillings cause the cavities were filled in with healthy tooth. When I got finished, I saw that five minutes had passed on the clock and I had only felt twinges and slight nausea during the whole thing.

There was disgusting puddle of fatty slime on the floor, and my clothes were ruined.

I sat down, my head swimming.

“You okay, boss?” The Jin was a foot taller than he had been, and a little fiercer in his appearance his teeth getting a little longer than they had started.

“Why are you looking meaner?” I asked with some trepidation.

“Can’t help it, when I fill the second wish I’ll be back to what I should be and then when the third wish is filled, I shrink down and get sucked into the bottle. Its part of the punishment.”

I felt a little sorry for the guy, though I knew I should feel sorrier for a great white shark. The Jinn was no less dangerous. “Now, I can make these adjustments whenever I want right?”

“No, boss, not whenever but three times a week or so will be the max. I don’t deal in absolutes here; I have my limitations. By the way, here’s your set of identity papers all with the proper photos and such.” He handed me a folio with a passport, a driver’s license, a social security card and such. “Take good care of the packet, dude, it changes with you, and if it gets lost, its gone, okay?”

I took it and placed it in a desk drawer.

“Okay, Dudley, that seems to fill the bill, but I haven’t really changed my outward appearance much so far, I can do that now and then change back - but that’s it for a week. Is that what you are telling me?”

“That’s about it, boss Three times a week if you don’t push the change too far. Twice a week if you make a big change.”

“Like if I wanted to be a girl, huh?”

“You can’t BE a girl, boss. That’s outside the parameters of my power.”

I decided to test it. I began the change looking in the mirror. I was almost six feet tall, and 210 pounds. First, I dropped six inches in height and shed fifty pounds. Then I started rearranging my fat and saw my waist shrink, I added a little padding to my butt, without letting it droop and rounded it. Then I shifted fatty tissue to my chest molding two boobs to about a C cup. I stripped out of my clothing as it tangled around me. I sucked in the hair on my legs, chest, face and arms till the skin was smooth and flawless. This was fun, I softened my features, let my hair and nails grow out, changed the hair color to a honey blonde, I’d always found attractive. My nose was too big, so I softened it a little with a tiny Irish upturn, widened my eyes just a little. Staring at me in the mirror was a beautiful woman - with a ball sack and dick. I started working on that, but try as I might, I could not get a vagina, the dick and balls shrank to very tiny, but they would not go away. Finally I gave up and let them pick back up to normal size, heck - I let the dick get a bit bigger, I’d always been average sized there and now I was bigger by a couple inches long and an inch around.

I stopped out of breath. I was exhausted.

“Hey, boss, I told you, you couldn’t change your sex. Its not allowed. Now, you’ve blown your energy reserve for any more changes for several days. You’d better lock this into an identity, cause you’re stuck there five days minimum.”

I was too tired to care. I did what he said, check out the ID papers and saw my name was Erica Steele, that wasn’t bad. I stumbled to the bed.

The Jinn interposed himself between me and the bed. “Don’t go to sleep now, boss. You got another wish and then you said you’re gonna free ME!”

“Later”, I said. I was too tired to even think about another wish, and I would not go off half-cocked on a wish. I might screw it up. I collapsed across the bed and I was out like a light for almost ten hours.

I woke up slowly, remembering the stupid dream I’d had. I scratched under my left breast . . wait a minute . . . I snapped awake. The Jinni was standing by the bed.

“Its about damned time you woke up,” he said without preamble or overture. I shrieked. My voice was a good fifth higher than it had been before, an alto, maybe a second soprano.

I stumbled into the bathroom and looked at myself. Damn I was a knock out even with a considerable hard on. I took a shower, washed my much longer hair, and scratched myself a couple of times with the long nails I had.

I came out of the bathroom and the Jinni was still standing there. I was naked. I felt naked. There was an old terrycloth bathrobe in the closet, I put it on hastily. “Okay, Jinni, I have to get back to normal now.”

“No can do, yet boss.” He sat on the floor beside the chair. “You changed too far for one change, you pushed it right to the wall and now you’ve got four or five days just like you are before you can change back. Sorry”

“I will be able to change back, right?”

“Sure, no sweat at all. It’ll just take a few days.”

I sat and though for a while. My arms tucked under my boobs felt good, before I knew it I was casually stroking one of my new improved nipples - it felt really good, and my dick swelled.

“You want to go ahead with the second wish now?”

His voice pulled me back to where I was. “Yeah. Let me think for a minute.”

I needed money - not just a little money for now, but money for good and all, but I did not want to get too greedy. Getting greedy with a Jinn was not a good idea.

“Okay, Jinni, I am going to wish for wealth, but I want wealth that is not mysterious to the casual onlooker or the IRS, okay?” I looked at him and he nodded. “This is how we’re going to do it. I want to win a lottery, thirty or forty million dollars worth, but I don’t want to win it now, or tomorrow, I want to win it six weeks ago, and have all the tax and financial nonsense out of the way. I want to pay every penny of applicable taxes and have all the final papers right now in front of me including the bank books, check books and credit cards appropriate to that money. I want it to be managed by a responsible honest financial manager whom I set this up with a month ago. I want it all finalized and in my hands. Right this minute, okay?”

The Jinn nodded solemnly and handed me a box with all things I’d asked for. There were check books, credit cards, debit cards, a pile of cash, the recorded tax forms and financial records for twenty-six million dollars, after taxes. I looked at the stuff and the problem dawned on me. It was all in the name of Erica Steele. Eric Stahl did not have a dime. “What the fuck!?!?” I said elegantly.

“It’s just like you asked, boss.” The Jinn smiled. Now he was eight feet tall with big teeth and claws, and a whole lot of magical power to intimidate me. “You wanted it right now, and right now that’s who you are, isn’t it?”

I was caught and I knew it. “Now I guess you want me to pay off and wish you free, right Jinni?”

“You bargained well, and that was the agreement. I plan to hold you to it.” He smiled with lots of sharp teeth. The Jinn were not fairy, nice creatures in Arabic myth. They were dangerous, duplicitous, deceitful . . . deadly.

I stood my ground in front of him. This one I had worked out from the very beginning. I had him and he just didn’t know it. ”I wish you free, Jinni to lead a normal human life. I wish you to be born as a human child in the next few minutes at a local hospital with a human soul and human abilities and no memory of your existence as a Jinn. That is my third and final wish. Do as you are commanded.” He snarled. He gnashed his teeth. He cursed. He screamed. He was had and he knew it. He started to dwindle and fade and was drawn slowly out of the room as if through a soda straw. Somewhere, a few minutes later a little boy or girl was born with the personality of that Jinn. He would be a considerably powerful personality, but he would not have great magical power and a tendency to efficient violence.

I stood there shaking. It was over and I had gained a lot: money, near immortality, and a great rack. I went through my financial papers. I called the financial manager. He had the impression we’d known each other for weeks and he was happy to have my business. The bank accounts were there like they should be. I was a very wealthy woman, well, not quite a woman, but close. What the hell was I going to do?

First of all, I was going to eat.

I went into the kitchen. Looking in pantries and cupboards was weird because I was six inches shorter than I should be. I fished out a beer, made a sandwich and opened a bag of chips. I flipped on the television, stuck my head out the door and gathered in the morning mail. There was JC Penney’s catalog and an advertising flyer from the Black Mesa Mall a couple miles away. Lots of women’s clothing were on sale. It was a Wednesday afternoon, the mall shouldn’t be too busy, I figured. But what was I going to wear to get there?

I went into the closet licking the last of the sandwich off my fingers, and burping gently from the beer. Not very lady-like, I guess, but I’d seen even attractive women burp before. The closet was pretty damned hopeless. There was a University of Arizona sweat shirt, and a pair of old jeans that must have belonged to one of my crew once upon a time, they were too small for my old waist line for sure. My feet were never going to fit in any of my shoes or boots, they were way too small, so I had to fish out my “flip-flops” from under the bed. I set out the clothing on the bed

I went into the bath room and pondered myself in the mirror. My face was really pretty, not masculine at all, it was smooth and had no evidence of my usual beard. The lips were fuller than I remembered mine being. The eyes looking back at me were the green mine had been, but that was the only outstanding familiarity. I could pass for a cousin of my old self, I guessed. My eyes were drawn to my breasts and I touched them the nipples were too large for what I recalled, I figured I must have played with my hormone mix some when I was trying to make myself a real girl for shits and giggles. They got pointy real easy too. Massaging my breasts and playing with my nipples made my dick spring to life too. I hadn’t gotten such a quick and easy hard on in years. I quickly gave in to the sensations and picked up a bottle of baby oil I kept for sunburns. A little bit of oil felt really good on my nipples It had me panting real quick. I went back to the bedroom with the baby oil and laid down to explore things a little better. The nipples were greasy, slippery and felt like stones, the pleasure was exquisite and it didn’t take long for me to start playing with my new, bigger and better dick. That felt really great, too and a few minutes later I was squirting what felt like quarts of juice all over my stomach. It shot all the way up to my chin! I kind of like the taste of it when I licked out with my tongue and picked up the dribble.

I lay there, pleasantly strung out for a few minutes, idly playing with my tits.

This was good stuff alright . . . time for another shower.

End Part I

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