Jodi's Therapy Ch. 02byfred8888©
(Please read part one first – Jodi's Therapy)
Jodi had come over for her Monday session and wanted me to help analyse what happened on the night of the club.
"They just took complete control over me, doctor. I felt as if I had absolutely no control ... although of course I knew I did." Jodi said, her neck flushed and her chest heaving. I had tried to get her to lie on my couch but she just sat straight up again to look directly at me as she continued. She was in one of her most ebullient moods. As usual she looked absolutely stunning. "It wasn't that I did not consent. It was like I was given no opportunity to refuse. When they held me on the couch, I could barely move and it didn't help that I was completely drunk. I couldn't do anything."
I remembered how she had let them use her, Chris had been kissing her and Bruno almost made her cum with his fingers while she just writhed and moaned herself towards orgasm. Then she had gone into sexual orbit when Bruno went down on her. I was pretty sure that resistance was the last thing on her mind. Looking back on it, she had let sense leave her well before they even got back to the house; she was putty in their hands on the dance floor and completely participating in being ravished in the car. When girls are drunk and horny it must be very hard for them to say no, when there is some guy rubbing your breasts and pussy while kissing you.
"Chris was kissing me and ravishing my breasts. It was so hot and I remember I felt so tense, I almost couldn't breathe and I was being more and more turned on. When Bruno went down on me, like I completely lost it and had one of the most amazing orgasms, one that you only ever dream about. While I was cumming I knew that I was actively involved and that it was me that was arousing these guys. If they had've given me the chance I probably would have fucked them both anyway. But they just took over and once I had cum Bruno just started fucking me so forcefully, I had absolutely no chance to object. I also couldn't even believe how vocal I was. I was crying out and sometimes even begging them to fuck me. I heard a girl's excited voice crying out in orgasm and I realised that the sounds were coming from me. It was like totally surreal." Jodi was actually looking aroused as she was recounting the episode in our usual therapy session. She had a kind of wild look in her eye that I had not seen before, like a little sensual spark that had somehow been ignited.
"What do you think it means?" I asked. "Was it just you, feeling uninhibited for the first time?"
"It was more than that." She continued, shaking her stylishly ratty blonde hair around her beautiful face, her lips pouting into a provocative expression. "Now I can't stop thinking about it and I look at every man in a sexual way. I think about their cocks – in my mouth. What have I become, Doctor? How have you done this to me?" She put her head in her hands and was shaking slightly. I put my arm around her small shoulders to comfort her.
I could not believe how worked up she was. She was sort of chanting out this stuff, like it was half self-blame and half self-satisfaction. I had to remind myself of the borderline personality disorder she probably suffered from and that she was in a hyper anxious state. Somehow I had to put her behaviour into a context she would understand.
"All I have done is to bring out an aspect of your personality that you were not aware existed. All women have a sensual side that they love to have enlivened. To orgasm, a woman has to completely let go, let go of her own control and let the feelings takeover. Women who are naturally sensual, as you are, are highly sensitive to the feelings of others. You are simply seeing men as they see you, as a highly sensual creature capable of extraordinarily erotic experiences. I feel very proud of you for allowing me to help you explore yourself. Please do not feel guilty, you have done nothing wrong." There was something else I needed to add, something to draw her away from self-loathing. So I thought for a moment, squeezed her shoulders and then I said, "I let you get drunk and uninhibited and I felt that you liked the attention Chris and Bruno gave, it was my fault more than yours and I was the one in control. Blame me! Let me take you back to where you began, if you like." This was really a lie. The reality was that I had no idea how to do that, even if I had wanted to.
Jodi actually gasped. "I can't!" She said, she looked away in thought. "No, I think its me now."
She had started off the therapy session fairly aggressively but then mellowed slightly and I saw that she felt a little lost and confused. This was our first therapy session after our night out clubbing. Jodi, with my blessings, had got us invited to a small party after the club which turned out to be a threesome between Jody and two guys. As I finally put her to bed at about 5 a.m. she had sucked me off, which she had not mentioned. It was as if, after months of therapy, that the dam wall had broken and that Jodi just let herself go sexually for that one night, in a drunken stupor. It was difficult to see where this was going. Had I triggered something in her that had never existed? Or had I just set something free?
"Have you ever had these sorts of feelings before? Feeling sort of wanton?" I asked.
"Yes, when I was at university at a couple of parties and sometimes guys would get me drunk and feel me up." Jodi answered. "It always got me like totally hot and turned on; but they try to do that to all the girls don't they? Some guys even tried to fuck me while I was asleep and once I pretended to stay asleep just to see what it would feel like. After he fucked me for awhile I got so turned on by the whole naughtiness of it, because my eyes were closed and everything, that I orgasmed and then he knew I was awake. He told me that I was a slut and that I loved being used like a whore, then he fucked me again. I couldn't stop orgasming though. Maybe his dirty words helped, or maybe it was just because I realised he was good looking." She looked down and I could see that the memory was painful and was hurting.
"It was not your fault, Jodi. He started raping you." I responded and hugged her again. "Women's vaginas just react like that, they lubricate, to protect you from harm as a woman. Look at it like rape-protection. The orgasm itself is involuntary, you know, there is nothing you can do if the stimulation is right. It really is not your fault. The guy was an arsehole and he should really have been begging your forgiveness."
"Thank you, doctor." She said, planting wet kiss on my cheek, taking me by surprise. She even seemed to be seeking my lips. "You always make me feel better."
Yet, hearing Jodi speak so candidly of her sexual history had me a little on edge, obviously the alcohol on the night had helped to bring out her natural promiscuity. I wondered if all young women are naturally promiscuous, if given the opportunity to explore their feelings without guilt. I stood and put my hand on her shoulder consolingly and went back to my chair, a metre or so from her couch. In a fashionable attempt to completely disarm me, she was dressed in the shortest silk clubbing shorts and a tiny tank top with long arm holes that didn't almost nothing towards covering up her perfectly pert 34Cs. She was very animated and kept waving our hands around and crossing and re-crossing her legs, which seemed to draw attention to that natural focal point, the taut material between her thighs, tightly wrapped around her vulva. The perfect camel-toe, I mused to myself when I caught a glimpse. Her flashing blue eyes, perfect teeth and her delicious pink lips were equally distracting. She was only 5 foot 3 but shit, she had personal presence in her new-found sensuality. I almost always got an erection when I saw her, she was unbelievably hot. I remember thinking that this 'Jodi finds her sensual self' theme that was developing was like a perverted version of My Fair Lady. A decidedly unprofessional voice in my head was telling me to pounce on her and fuck her. I decided to change tack.
"How is your love life with your husband?" I asked. Jodi had missed the first Monday's session following the Friday that we went out. So I had not seen her for about 10 days. A lot can happen in that time.
"This is a little embarrassing," she began, "I think I have been over compensating, for you know, my behaviour; no, my unfaithfulness. Like I have made sure I have been wearing the sexiest lingerie when he comes home from work and I always try to have some cool music on that I can dance to. I read it in Cosmo. So he comes in and sees me dancing in sexy lingerie every night. When he comes up to me I reach for his cock and ask if he wants some relief or a blow job. This is not my usual behaviour but Dan says he loves it. I did it all week and then something weird happened on Friday."
"Oh, what was that?" I asked, my mind making up scenarios of Jodi being the hot wife, on her knees sucking cock. She was totally distracting.
"Well, I know I have been acting kind of strange, with all this erotic clothing. But what Dan did was even stranger." She started to get really flushed and her eyes shone again with moisture, or was it erotic recall? "Like what I mean is that he was always sort of really jealous and didn't want me wearing sexy clothing around other men. Then on Friday he came through the front door unannounced with a friend of his from work. I was wearing my lacy blue g-string set, which is close to transparent, and they bailed me up in the kitchen area talking to me so that I couldn't get past. They both started complimenting me on my body, on my thin thighs, and firm bum. Then two other guys from work came in after them and I was sort of stuck there in front of them virtually completely naked and again I had no control, I couldn't escape. I also couldn't work out why Dan had told his friends I had been working out and to come and check out his hot wife. He actually told them I might be in lingerie hoping for a fuck. One of them even asked me if it was turning me on being almost nude in front of them and if I felt like a fuck he was up for it. Dan, my husband just laughed and told him that it was not his lucky day. His comment kind of made me feel more secure. They kept drinking beer for a few hours and I stayed in the lingerie, afterall they had all seen it all by then. Some of their comments got very sexual and Dan was making inappropriate comments by pointing and laughing at the guy's erections and telling me they wanted to fuck me."
"So did anything sexual happen while they were there?" I asked.
"No, they were complete gentleman and full of compliments. Although at one point when one of them was saying how he thought he could make me come in two minutes if I just sat on his lap, I just about came myself right there and I noticed that the crotch of my g-string was soaked. I was so aroused I could smell myself being turned on. Can all girls do that? If anyone had touched me even for a few seconds I was sure I would have had an orgasm. It was terrible. But they didn't. After they left I fucked Dan like crazy for hours until he was exhausted, I just felt like fucking all night. So I guess it was a major turn-on for me."
"I am not sure I would use the term terrible," I said. "It sounds more like it was just a normal reaction from a gorgeous and sensual young woman who was receiving a lot of male attention. Then you made love to your husband, so it was all good."
"Mmm. I suppose so. Although it was more like fucking, not making love." she replied. "Oh, Dan actually said he wants to see you too."
We quickly arranged an appointment for me to see Dan the next morning. Jodi was really loosening up with me. She continued to tell me that she had begun to feel addicted to the knowledge that people stared at her wherever she went. Apparently, this had the effect of making her want to dress fashionably and provocatively. She mentioned that she got a lot of attention even in the local shopping centre. A girl who fitted her for a dress in a changing booth, had run her hands up her behind, lower back and gently squeezed Jodi's breasts. We laughed about whether the girl was checking her for implants or not because her breasts were so perfect. Then she made something of a revelation.
"On Wednesday, my husband had a work dinner, so I knew he would not be back until midnight. I was feeling a little bit frisky and wondered if I should go down to the pub or maybe just to a restaurant for a meal by myself. When I was getting ready I could not find one of my favourite earrings. Then I remembered that I was wearing them on Friday night, so I rang Chris on the number you gave me. I thought that if you thought it was wrong to ring him that you would not have given me the number."
This it sounded like perfect self-justification for behaviour that was likely to become sexual.
"So did you go and see him? What did you do?" I asked.
"Yes, of course I did, silly! I had to see if I had left my earring there and I was all ready to go out in my heels and miniskirt. So I went over." Jodi paused before continuing. "It was like he thought I had gone over there just for him. I mean, where do men get these ideas from? I just wanted my earring - but I found that at home later anyway. He just grabbed me and kissed me straight away at the door. Then he shut it and he just started to feel me up all over. It was amazing, I don't think I have ever been ravished so immediately and so forcefully. He ripped off my panties and I had to fight him to stop him from tearing them. Then he just started rubbing me there, saying really sexual things to me like that he wants to see me cum again and he thanked me for coming over so that he can bury his cock in my pussy again. It was really disgusting and really hot and he got me so turned on, Doctor. This is so embarrassing." she put her head in her hands again, obviously feeling guilty.
"Look, Jodi. I can see that you are a little confused." I responded, trying to mollify her concerns. "Whenever people make love they are drawn back to that person. Once two people have coupled, it is far easier for it to happen again. If you don't want Chris to fuck you, then you should not go over to his place. If you appear at his door he will see you as a Christmas present to be unwrapped and enjoyed. It really is very natural and nothing to worry about. Just remember it is you who are in control and by going over there you decided that you wanted to make love to him. I think you might have done this subconsciously though."
She agreed that that was possible. And as it transpired, Chris had provided Jodi with an incredible sexual experience. She came at least three times and Chris twice. Then what she said surprised me.
"He is such a good lover, Doctor. He made me cum so quickly with his fingers and I realised I had wanted him too, I was so wet. Then he just bent me over the couch and just had me all in the first three minutes, I was still cumming when he came inside me. It is like it was when I met my husband for the first time. He gives me that type of excitement, I really don't want to let that go now, he makes my heart beat faster when I think about it. But I don't want to hurt my husband. What can I do?"
"If you want to keep married then you definitely should not tell your husband and I certainly will not." I advised. "If you remain discrete and Chris is aware that you are married and only wanting some sexual satisfaction, then I would imagine you could easily get away with it. The moral question is whether you would mind if your husband was doing the same thing. On the other hand, some couples manage to establish certain rules and boundaries for a more open relationship style. If honesty is important then an open relationship might be your only option. The other question is whether it is the effect of Chris or just your own sexiness around men, like you were at your husband's drinks night. Sometimes we can find ourselves attached to a person we have sex with; that it was the act and the climax that we really have feelings for, not the person."
Jodi began to pout and then her expression changed. Something had dawned on her and her eyes narrowed. The expression was one of awareness and her smile was kindly sardonic.
"Did you know it might come to this when we first started on this therapy," she asked. "Do you think that this sort of therapy might make a woman completely insatiable for sex?"
"Do you mean the attention and flattery?" I responded. "I'm not sure that we have done much more than that. This sensuality, it seems to have just grown out of you like a flower. All I did was to water it. What does it mean? I think it is like a new power that you might have if you tried to tap it. What you do with this is up to you; although I am certainly happy to help you get wherever it is you want to go with it."
"Well I kind of feel like a rat on an exercise wheel. I have to keep running with it because the rewards are so strong. I love the flattery and attention and I adore men looking at me. I even find it slightly arousing that women see me as attractive now. I don't want to be a slut, but I do find that it looks like some men can just bring that out in me, especially when I'm drunk."
I made a special note to try and get the opportunity to observe her when she was drunk again. It occurred to me that this might be slightly unethical. I balanced the two ideas in a cost-benefit way. Was I married? No! Would her husband kill me? I would probably find out tomorrow.
I asked her whether she had given Chris her number. She said she had not because she was worried that would mean she would not have control. We agreed that she should not act on any impulses for the next few days, because she was a little too confused and needed to process what had already happened.
Before she left, I told her that if she was feeling uncertain about something that she could call my mobile at any time. She asked me if I could see her on Friday, since her husband was going away overnight. I said I would consider it and would get back to her after I'd spoken to her husband, Dan.
Dan came into my office at 9 a.m. on Tuesday morning. I had had a sleepless night and imagined the worst, that he would come in and abuse me for fucking up his marriage. It sometimes happens. How wrong I was! He marched in with a huge beaming smile. I took his age to be somewhere between 40 and 43, although it later turned out he was actually 45. I noted that he was exactly 12 years older than Jodi, and they were both Geminis. He was roughly 6 foot tall and probably around 12 and a half to 13 stone. Well built and handsome, I noted, which together with his lawyer-patented overconfidence, gave him the appearance of being fond of being himself, pleased with his success and a likely girl magnet. I immediately wondered if this had anything to do with the reason he and his wife's sex life went south.
In my opinion almost everyone who has been in a relationship of more than a few years goes through a period of sexual torpor where they are suddenly sexually incompatible with their partner. Then the couple usually separate, sometimes they work it out, otherwise they just stay in relationship purgatory. I reminded myself that through my new therapy, I was trying to resolve the marriage and infidelity crises of the world.
"Hello Dr Murphy I am so pleased to meet you at last. I just had to come and have a chat and congratulate you for the work you have been doing with my wife. Perhaps you and I can have a little talk?" Dan looked the epitome of self-confidence, or was it overconfidence?
I noted his tendency towards narcissistic personality disorder immediately. Most patients wait for the therapist to ask them to talk. He had taken complete control and it was like he was going to interview me. I paused, to give us both time to consider the various roles that we were playing here. I also began to mull over the probability that Jodi was exhibiting traits of borderline personality disorder herself. The fact that she was with a narcissist almost positively confirmed my suspicions. I reasoned that the best thing to do with him was to let him roll with it. He would be bound to be asking for some therapeutic advice from me before long, the idea would be irresistible to him, although it would ostensibly never be about him,. Finally, I nodded at him to continue.