Joe "Lick My Balls" Garett

"When I make love
to a woman
I like to penetrate - then
I like to penetrate with force,"
He tells me in the ear
hand under my knee
under my skirt
under the table

"You should
put that on
a T-shirt,"
Blank look - delayed laughter

"Or maybe on
a card -
Joe Garett - I penetrate, I
penetrate with force."

We had met over the phone
He wanted a job
teaching German
preferably Spanish

He was
curious
about me
and I, a sucker,
gave it up

Three nights later
We were sitting at the
Dark Horse
both
Dissappointed with
what we got.

He was expecting
(he told me)
Selma Hayek

I was expecting...
Psha...

I was jazzed from
Six hours of phone calls
Three months of abstinence

We had talked about
families, fads and fucking
but he called it
making love

He was ugly and
dumb
(in all three languages)

Selma didn't have shit
on Me
But

I wasn't ready
to give up
so

We drove in his truck
to my place
And my clothes
were off
in a jiffy

Boy he was ugly
and rattled off instructions
like a manual
machine-gun fire

"Lick my Balls!"
-Huh?
"LIck my Balls! Lick my
Balls! LICK MY BALLS!"

Christ
Can lick your balls
But
I-
Was-
Game...

He was a joke
Big hairy balls
Short fat dick
an ugly
purple-brown

I had a couple
piddly o's
from his awkward head,
finger job
trying to block out
(but unable)
his droning demands

"I like to be touched softly"
"Softly!"
"Lick my Balls!"

Joe Joke
on your Balls

When I asked him what
the obsession with
Balls was
he said - with a straight face,
"The hairs on my testicles
are very sensitive."

This guy was a prize
His Balls were
His Glory

I refused to fuck so
He stayed till after
Noon -
Working his finger up
my ass
In pursuit of
penetration

His mantra
"Lick my Balls,"
Ever echoing
wall to wall
BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS

When he finally left
I related
the action
to my roomie

"Lick my BALLS"
And she told
a couple of her
nurse friends

I got a phonecall
from the Hospital
"Chupas Huevos?"
Ha-Ha

Now
I sit
in the Emergency Room
WAITING WAITING WAITING
a Sebacious Cyst
Busting out my neck
(wholly unrelated to licking BALLS)

like an oversize pimple on
sterroids or
MiracleGrow

I shoulda asked Joe
to lick it -
soflty.