- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Just a dream, I suppose
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Two women alone on a beach
Each as sweet as a peach
Beneath the sun, above the sand
Is it fate, or is it planned?
I parachute down from the sky
They look surprise, wonder why
I’ve landed here, on their beach
These women, sweet as a peach,
Glance my way, quizzical smiles
The empty beach, miles and miles
Naked sand and restless sea
And nothing but them and me,
Release the harness, let it slip
Stand there hand on my hip
They tell me I’m overdressed
Naked is always best,
I join them there, the hot noon sun
We talk of life and love and fun
Parachutes and birthday smiles
Empty beaches, miles and miles,
Afternoon drifts away
Nothing much else to say
Sun floats west and hits the sea
The air chills for them and me,
Some stars appear and we decide
Perhaps we’re dead, we each died
And here we are at Heaven’s Gate
Not expecting we’d have to wait,
Moon rises nearly full
I sense the gravitational pull
Rising tide and evening air
Notice they have nothing to wear,
They look a bit surprise at this
Then embrace and deeply kiss
Pressing tight, they merge together
And disappear like the weather,
I stand there on the beach, alone
No bars on my telephone
Collect the parachute, my clothes
Just a dream, I suppose …
- COMMENTS
vrosej10about 13 years agoYou got 4 from me. My big problem with rhyming poetry is that, unless done subtly, which most early poets can't manage, it makes the poem sound humourous, which is clearly not your intent. If you need the rhyming pattern, move it to the middle of the line, use half rhyme, be inventive and original with your rhyme. Learn about assonance and consonance. UYS write form poetry which requires rhyme. You could check her stuff out and ask her for advice because she does it well.
CuddlyAlabout 13 years agokstarnes is right on the button. I, too have given you 5*. May you sharpen them and send them to all the vitriolic pseudo- sensitive wankers who throw spiteful stones from inside their pretentious glass houses. Those pretend poets can then shove the sharpened stars where the sun don't shine.
kstarnesabout 13 years agoYou write rhyming poems, UYS does too. But your scores are so low, is someone mad at you? I think it is terrible that people low vote to make themselves look better. I give you fives, always.
