Kim Kardashian: Hey Mister DJbyJTCIII©
Author's note: This is a work of fantasy and as a result doesn't conform to the limitations of reality (safe sex, physics of anal sex, etc). That's why it's erotic fiction rather than a user manual.
Feedback and voting is always very much appreciated. Thanks!
It had started like any other night at work.
But now here he was, in the backseat of a stretch limo, sodomizing Kim Kardashian as she screamed her approval.
"That's it, baby! That's it! Make me your fucking whore!"
Calvin could hardly believe it. It just wasn't possible. But as he leant forward to squeeze her infamously huge tits – all the while fucking her notoriously phat ass – he looked back over the night, thinking of how he'd come to be here.
The evening started with a call from Cal's boss telling him that the special guest DJ had called in sick for that night's set.
"You'd really be saving my ass if you could fill in for him." The boss said.
Of course Cal agreed. The pay on a Saturday night was over double what he got spinning discs during the week and the fact the boss asked him to fill in showed him that the owners had confidence in what he could do.
He showed up at the club at 10 and his set kicked off at 11. His booth was small and dark, but comfortable, and its position high above the dance floor allowed him full view of the crowd. He watched proudly as they reacted with excitement and joy whenever he dropped the next beat on them.
Living in LA and working at a nightclub, Cal had grown immune to being starstruck. He'd seen too many tween idols doing blow in the toilets and too many pint-size leading men picking fights to buy into the whole celebrity culture thing anymore.
A beautiful woman, however, is still a beautiful woman, and whenever a model or an actress or the latest 'it' girl came into party, Cal had to admit he'd sit up and take notice...not that they noticed him in return, sequestered as he was in the shadows of his booth.
Out of all the party girls, the rising stars, the celubtantes – or celubutards, depending on your opinion – there was one that stood above all the others.
And she was downstairs now, on the floor, dancing to Cal's beat.
Cal knew her well. How could anyone not in this modern culture? She was famous for the exact same reason Paris Hilton was. The generous answer was 'for nothing'. The less generous answer would be for being a rich girl who got caught fucking on camera.
She had parlayed an entire career from that indiscretion, using the opportunity in such a canny fashion that it highlighted the difference between her and her former BFF Paris. Kim was shrewd. 'Stupid like a fox', the saying went.
It didn't hurt that she looked the way she did. While Paris had a droopy eye and a strange nose and a blank look plastered all over her face, Kim had the kind of porn star dimensions that would drive any man wild, and just the smallest glint in her eye that she knew how to use them.
Not that any of this could be construed as admiration on Cal's part. If anything, he was dubious about her and all that she represented. If asked point-blank, he might only reluctantly admit a passing attraction to her, despite her obvious superficiality.
Looking down at her, however, as she moved beneath the lights and shook that much-lauded booty of hers, he knew such denials were pointless. In the flesh, she was twice as gorgeous, and his entire body stirred at the very thought of her.
And then, as if she could sense his attention, she glanced up at his booth. Her eyes connected with his. She smiled a knowing smile.
Cal's heart suddenly felt like a lightbulb at the moment of blowing out. It surged and burst. He looked away, strangely embarrassed, only to look back at her a second later. She was still staring up at him. Her eyes were teasing, her smile strangely intimate.
Another girl, presumably a friend of hers, tapped her on her shoulder, and just like that the connection was broken as Kim looked away. Cal let out a breath.
He focused on his decks and brushed the moment aside. With all the mirrored glass surrounding the booth, he wouldn't be surprised if she was offering a flirtatious smile to her own reflection. He laughed to himself. Yeah, that seemed right. That was exactly what was going on.
An hour passed by. He'd lost sight of Kim completely and, if anything, he was relieved to be free of the distraction. With her tight, low-cut dress she was far too hypnotic a sight. If he wanted to prove himself to his boss tonight, he needed as few diversions as possible.
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.
Cal turned around. His lightbulb heart burst a second time.
Kim was standing in the doorway of the booth in her revealing purple cocktail dress, her fuck-me pumps adding to her already impressive height. She was staring at him with the same teasing smile she'd offered him before.
"Uh...hi." Cal said.
"Hi," she replied. She didn't wait for Cal to invite her in. Instead, she slinked into the booth and closed the door behind her. "I hope you don't mind that I came up."
"No, no...not at all. It's cool. How can I help you?" Cal said. He absentmindedly hit the play button on the next track. That should give him enough time to have whatever conversation Kim had in mind.
"Do you take requests?" She asked, a question almost all DJs reacted to with utter annoyance.
"Sorry, no. Not that kind of club." Cal said. Kim stepped forward, edging towards him, bringing that body of hers closer and closer to him.
"It's not a music request." She said. She drew so close to him that their lips were almost touching, then sidestepped him to stand next to him behind the decks.
"Then, uh...what kind of request is it?" Cal asked.
"It's my birthday tomorrow. Actually..." she said, raising her wrist to look at her watch. The few seconds it took her to focus her eyes told Cal she'd been drinking. "...it's after midnight...I'm officially a birthday girl."
She looked up at Cal and grinned. "Help me celebrate?"
"Well, that depends. What did you have in mind?" If his heart had burst before, the lightbulb had flashed back into life now and was burning very bright and very hot.
"Usually it'd involve popping a bottle of champagne. But I feel like popping something else tonight..." She said, her Californian lilt ending in a drunken slur.
With the ruffling of silk she slid in between Cal and the console. Her body was now pressed firmly against his. Her constrained breasts pushed against his chest, the warmth of her crotch pressed against the hardness of his. She smelt like perfume and cocktails.
"Tell me something." She said. Cal had to consciously ease the pounding of his heart to answer,
"Yeah?" He asked. For a moment, it seemed like she wasn't going to say anything else. Instead, she moaned lightly as she ran her hands up and down his torso and played at his belt.
Finally, she spoke.
"Tell me...can you perform under pressure?"
Her fingers latched onto his fly, unzipping them, allowing her to dip her hand into his jeans and feel the already fully erect member that pulsed within.
"Oh, God..." Cal whispered in an urgent hush.
"That doesn't answer my question." Kim said with a mocking grin. She squeezed him through his boxers as if to entice him into responding.
"Uh, yeah, yeah...I can handle a bit of pressure..." He said, which prompted him to hit play on the second track he had lined up. The crowd on the floor below didn't pause as their dancing matched the beat of the new song.
"That's what I like to hear." Kim said, pulling her hand free of his fly long enough to yank off his belt. She tugged his pants down and wrestled with his underwear, pulling his big, rubbery dick out to the sound of her moaning approval.
"Oh, yesss..." Kim murmured, running her hand up and down Cal's shaft to asses the full length of him. "This is exactly what I wanted."
She wrapped her hand around his dick, just below the ridge of the helmet, and squeezed tightly. Cal groaned, his hips jerking of their own accord.
"Just act like I'm not even here." She said, offering him one last look at her twinkling eyes and mischievous smile before she dropped to her knees in front of him.
Stars pulsed in front of Cal's eyes...or was that just the lights of the club? It was hard to tell. All he could think of was the incredible feeling of Kim Kardashian's mouth as she parted her lips and sucked him down.
He stared out at the crowd below. From where they were standing they wouldn't be able to see the raven-haired celebrity who was currently taking every inch of his cock and greedily wrapping her tongue around it. That thought alone sent another thrill racing through him.
"Jeeeeesus." Cal sighed as Kim's head bobbed on his shaft, her lips smacking and her cheeks slurping as she gave him the best blowjob he'd ever had.
She looked up at him, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling in the dark. She slipped his dick from her mouth, her fingers playing with the now slippery shaft.
"Don't miss the beat, Mr DJ." She said with a giggle, prompting Cal to grab his headphones. He had just enough time to line up another track, mixing the beat in with the song that was finishing.
Kim laughed at the slip. Obviously she loved how much of a distraction she'd proven to be.
"Very good!" She said, pumping his shaft with both hands as she slurped on the swollen head.
The excitement in Cal was building. It had been a while since he'd last been with a woman, let alone one was scorchingly hot – and sexually talented – as Kim. He tried focusing on the decks in front of him to keep from getting too excited too quickly.
Kim was tickling his balls and, feeling how tight they were, popped his shaft from her mouth to tease him.
"You gonna cum, Cal?" She asked. Like a playful cat, she rubbed her face against his hard, glistening cock, the engorged head running along her cheeks, over her nose, the underside of the shaft pressing against the entire left-side of her face. All the while, she cupped and squeezed his balls.
"N-no..." Cal said weakly, twisting knobs and pressing dials, desperately trying to ignore just how badly he wanted her, how much he hungered for his release.
"No?" Kim repeated with mock astonishment. "Are you saying I'm not a good cocksucker, Cal?"
"Not at all..." Cal breathed, hitting the play button on another song. He was starting to worry that she might have come to her senses and leave him blue-balled and embarrassed.
"So I'm a good cocksucker then?" Kim asked. She rubbed his cock against the other side of her face now, his balls pressing against her chin. She rolled her head back to flicker her tongue against the hole on his tight, purple helmet.
"Very good." Cal said, hoping that playing along and cajoling her would get her to finish what she started.
"The best?" She asked, now taunting him by skirting the tip of her tongue along the underside of his straining cockhead.
"The best!" He repeated desperately.
"That's right..." She moaned. "I'm the best fucking cocksucker you've ever met. And you're going to cum for me, aren't you?" She reached a hand up and squeezed his shaft hard, almost painfully. "Aren't you?"
"Yes!" Cal replied without hesitation.
"Then let's make you cum, hmm?" She said with a big grin, before slipping his shining shaft between her lips once again. She knelt in front of him, simply holding him there in her mouth, smiling around his cock.
Cal jabbed at a few buttons in front of him, keeping the beat going, adding some samples. He could feel Kim's hot mouth below the deck, sitting idly, content to do nothing more than envelope him.
He glanced down, curious as to why she wasn't moving. Kim's eyes smouldered back at him in a come-hither glance, his attention the cue she'd been waiting for to start corkscrewing her head, twisting her mouth around his member in an overwhelming tornado of sucking and licking.
Ssssllllrrpppp pppluuhhhpp ssqwlk Kim's mouth popped and squelched as her hair whipped left and right, her mouth a whirlwind on Cal's throbbing cock.
"Shhit!" Cal cursed, his ass clenching and his legs threatening to give out beneath him as Kim's mouth twisted free of his shaft, allowing her to start tongue-lashing the underside of the twitching head.
Kim encircled both her hands around Cal's cock and started jerking him off hard and fast, lathering his balls with her tongue.
"Give me your beautiful white load!" She hissed, his pubes tickling her nose. "I want to taste it! I want it on my tongue and slipping down my throat!"
Cal felt like the head of his shaft had never been so hard, never strained so tight. All his body was focused on this one moment, this one need. He knew. He knew he was at his limit.
Heat. Bubbling heat. It welled up from within him, streamed from his balls to explode in fat, milky fireworks from the tip of his cock.
"Fuuuuu---rrrgh! Fuuhh! Fuck!" He cried, his pelvis stabbing forward as he blasted hot and heavy into Kim Kardashian's waiting mouth, her throat glugging as she swallowed Every. Last. Drop.
"Mmmmmm!" She moaned approvingly, her eyelashes fluttering as she looked up at him, her cheeks hollowed around his thumping dick. "Uuuummmnnnh!"
She opened her mouth to show the sheeny wad she'd collected on her wide tongue, the last splash of Cal's jizz hitting her on her perfectly made-up lips and her eager tastebuds.
In her enthusiasm, she spilled a few drops of Cal's load, letting it drip into the alluring chasm of her cleavage. She giggled at the warm, tricking feel of it before closing her full mouth and swallowing deeply.
"So tasty!" She enthused, before raising an eyebrow. "But you might want to pay a bit more attention."
Cal was confused for a moment, overcome as he was by Kim's mouth and the joy of his release. Finally, it managed to penetrate his orgasmic fog that the beat playing in the background was slowly fading, leaving the crowd below with nothing to dance to.
Cal scrambled, hitting 'play' just as the club full of people started expressing confusion as to what had happened to the music.
Kim grinned, Cal's drizzling cock plopped on her cheek.
"I thought you said you could perform under pressure." She said, placing a lingering kiss on his shaft's burning head before she pulled his pants up, tucking him away again.
"You got your load, didn't you?" Cal said with a cocky grin.
Kim laughed, offering him her hand to pull her up.
"I can still feel it warming my throat." She whispered into his ear. Cal shuddered as she sucked the lobe before pulling away.
"Goodnight, Mr DJ," she said, strolling over to the door. "Thanks for the champagne."
"H-happy birthday!" Cal called after, unsure of what else to say.
She offered him a saucy wink, opening the door and slipping out of the booth, leaving Cal to wonder how the hell that had just happened. He was by no means unattractive, but he also wasn't the kind of guy who got sucked off by random celebrities in public places.
With his entire body still tingling, Cal returned his attention to the dancefloor. He kept an eye out for Kim but didn't see her again. Eventually he assumed she'd left the club.
'Damn. I should have asked for her phone number.' He thought to himself, his entire attitude to Kim Kardashian now dramatically altered.
By 3am Cal was wrapping up his set, the majority of the crowd having moved onto their various after-hours clubs. After he'd finished for the night, he tidied up, slung his bag over his shoulder and left out the backdoor, too tired to hang with the staff.
He usually took the backdoor to avoid the drunks that sometimes lingered outside the entrance. It was normally deserted except for a few of the employees' cars. Tonight, however, was the first time he'd walked out to find a limo sitting there, waiting.
The window of the backseat whirred down and Kim Kardashian's beautiful face materialised from the darkness within.
"Mr DJ!" She called with a smile, waving her hand to invite him over. "Want a lift?"
As Cal approached the limo, the door swung open. He looked left and right, checking to see if maybe there were some reality TV cameras or paparazzi hanging around or something, before he slid inside. The door slammed closed behind him.
He'd never been inside a limo before. There were two seats facing each other, both plush leather. Kim sat smiling warmly at him in the corner.
"Thanks," he said. "For the lift. And, uh...you know...for before, too. That was the best---"
Kim put her index finger, gesturing for silence. She leaned forward, raising her voice to address the chauffer who sat quietly in the front of the car.
"Drive." She told him before hitting the switch that rolled the privacy screen up. The car rumbled to life and pulled out of the alley, the lights of the streetlamps bouncing off its reflected windows.
"I don't think I introduced myself properly before," she said, returning her attention to Cal. "Kim Kardashian. And you are?"
She offered him her hand, which he took. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of it, the very picture of courtly decorum.
"Calvin," he said. "Call me Cal."
"Pleased to meet you, Calvin-call-me-Cal," Kim said with a bemused giggle, before turning her attention to the limo's mini-bar. "Would you like something to drink? Champagne, perhaps?"
She offered the last with a meaningful smile. Cal chuckled in return.
"Sounds good to me."
Kim poured two glasses of champagne.
"Cheers." She said, and they clinked their glasses together. As Cal sipped, he kept sight of Kim out of the corner of his eye. He wondered what exactly she had in mind.
"You know, Cal," she said after swallowing a small mouthful of champagne. "You really do have the most beautiful cock I've ever sucked."
Cal almost choked on his drink. He managed to avoid doing a spit-take only by gulping the champagne down. Kim grinned,
"It's true. So big and thick and tasty. But fair's fair, you know..."
"W-what do you mean?" Cal asked, his pulse racing for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
"I've seen yours," Kim said, parting her legs. "Now it's time for you to see mine."
As you'd expect of a celubtante – and as Cal had hoped for – she wasn't wearing any panties.
Her pubic hair was dark, of course, but fine. Wispy. It was obvious that she took meticulous care of it, shaped as it was in a perfect triangle pointing to her already wet pussy, the lips pink and moist.
Cal could feel a groan escaping from within his chest. Kim's teeth flashed in a smile of dirty delight.
"Mine's not like yours," she said, her smile shifting into a mock pout. "It's not big. It's small and tight and very, very wet."
She slipped a hand down, parting her pussylips open with her middle and forefingers. The beads of moisture sparkled as Kim ran her teasing fingers up and down her folds, skimming her clit and causing her thighs to tense.
"My tits, however," she said, her free hand reaching up to squeeze and fondle her left breast. "...Now they are big. Don't you agree?"
Cal nodded dumbly.
"Very big," he replied. "Though it's hard to say without getting a proper look."
"True!" She said, her thumb hooking into the strap of her dress, playing with it. "Would you like to see them?"
"Very, very much." Cal said. He sat staring at Kim without blinking or looking away. He wanted to record every second in his memory.
Her dazzling white smile shone at him again as she pulled the straps of her dress down, baring inch after inch of sloping breast flesh.
Eventually, so much was exposed that Cal guessed that she must have already removed her bra while she'd been waiting for him, if she'd even been wearing one to begin with...