To my readers, please feel free to leave feedback for me so that I know that you liked my stories, what you would like to see, and perhaps maybe suggest one. If you'd like to read it over and over again, favorite it and come back to enjoy it like an old friend. I look forward to hearing from you...K'Anne
I had some observations I wished to share and as I enjoy a good debate and feedback, I'm sure I will hear a lot on this subject. Be kind or your comments will be deleted. It's really a matter of importance for a lot of people, especially as a prelude to good sex, before, during, and after. I am putting this under Lesbian sex because I, like countless others am attracted to women. Not that others don't kiss, after all I'm almost certain I heard of controversy over men kissing men on television (lol). But we have been assailed with romantic kisses for decades on the television and in the movies. This heterosexual standard has been around forever. Can you think of one movie, one, that doesn't have a kiss of some kind in it? Even the 'kiss my ass goodbye' kind? Apparently this is an important right of passage for everyone, not the kiss my ass kind, but the peck turned passionate encounter kind, on the lips! I'm discussing my views on the subject. Don't shoot the messenger or you can kiss my lily white @$$.
Have you ever really thought of the anatomy of a kiss? Most cultures kiss but there are some that find the thought of sharing or swapping spit to be abhorrent. Then there are other cultures that make that little in the air thing with the sucking noise. There is the peck on the check or the one on the back of the hand. But have you ever thought of what makes a kiss, a good kiss?
Is it the person who gives it? Their attractiveness? I don't think so, because there are some really ugly people out there in the world and they have managed to procreate, well maybe no one kissed them to do so. But I digress, it helps if the person you are kissing, or they are kissing you, is attractive to you on some level. It also helps if they don't have body odor, bad breath (including halitosis), or a sore on the edge of their mouth. Eew, yes I visualized that too.
A truly great kiss or kisser I think comes from practice. Now I personally will not brag that I have had a lot of practice, because in all actuality, I haven't. I cannot count how many kisses I have bestowed or shared with someone else I have been involved with but at the same time, I can pretty much count how many people I have shared them with, or I like to think I could count them, my memory not withstanding. I am not talking just a peck on the cheek like you would give an acquaintance, again not that air thing with the kissy noise by someone's ear, or even one you would bestow on a child. I am talking an out and out lip lock that involves an exchange of saliva. A deep passionate kiss that should, if it is done properly, involve a tongue. And just for the sake of debate, who named it a 'French Kiss?' I mean, why do they get all the credit? I'm sure it was around WAY before the French, no offense to the French.
Here is one word of advice, no one likes to drown in someone else's saliva or have their tongue invade every breathable space in the crevice we call a mouth. A good kisser lightly takes their tongue and caresses the recipients and if it's mutually agreeable the other person reciprocates. Sometimes they are a little shy and need persuasion, not that they don't want to do it, they just might not know how, think of it then as a learning situation and you, the apparently better kisser, are to teach the world and make it a better place, they may even thank you for it. If all else, you've made someone a BETTER kisser for the next person, consider it a sacred duty at that point.
This isn't a moment to think about that ham sandwich you want to make for lunch though, you have to really think about your 'motivation' for this kiss. You have to want it, they should want it, unwarranted kissing can lead to the worst fights. Sometimes kissing and making up are the best. Even angry kissing can be delightful if you're both into it. But one sided, never works. Someone ends up annoyed or angry in a way that means you won't be getting that tender kiss you were angling for, or the desired results that may have followed.
Now there are many kinds of kisses of course and I am not an expert despite practice. I won't claim to know it all, despite the fact that I usually do, especially in my own mind. But I digress here again, what kind do you like? Personally, I prefer a mutual tender kiss, the kind that just make you sigh, melt, and then hold on as it progresses from there. It doesn't really require a lot of work (unless you are really bad) and you should just be able to go with the flow.
Your lips, if you're going to kiss with them (let's hope we don't have any deviation from the point here folks) should be in 'kissing order.' You don't want the sore, previously mentioned, I'm shuddering here folks. I know some of you can't help it, whether it's a cold sore, a zit on the edge, or something I don't want to catch or even know about. We don't want to touch it, not with our lips, our tongue, or any other part of our anatomy. Back to the topic at hand, good firm lips, not too dry, not too wet, firm without being formless. Moisturize those suckers! Relax them, you don't want to make the person you're kissing think you're trying to go through their head to the back of it with those things or cut them through with razor like lips. You also don't want to be slobbering on them like a dog. If you're called "Bernard" by accident you can bet they aren't talking about the saint but the dog!
A First kiss should be tender. If you're smart, you put a dab of perfume on your wrist at just the right spot so if you cup their cheek, or their head, the scent of it should assail her nostrils. It helps too if it's a pleasant scent and not one covering up something like body odor. If you're a man reading this, please disregard the perfume dab unless of course your aftershave goes on your hairy wrists that you just shaved because I can't think why aftershave would go where you don't shave, and I don't want to know otherwise so don't explain. Also, I would like to make note of another observation. You should NOT put perfume on your neck despite what you see in the movies. On and in your hair yes, but soft creamy kissable necks NO! It has been proven that when things get heated and you or your partner start tonguing along the neck, you or your partner just might taste that alcohol or other pheromone based or whatever you want to call your perfume (sweat does NOT count as perfume despite some people being 'into' it), and that kind of kills the moment as you canNOT get that easily off your tongue. Some people have been known to have a reaction to it too, not a pretty scenario if you are trying a seduction. Emergency Rooms are notorious for killing the seduction scene you were planning. I digress.
A soft kiss, your head tilting. Most people tilt to the right, it has been observed. I don't know if it's because a lot of people are right handed or what, no offense to south paws but it is what it is! Gently go in, place your lips against hers, and pull back to see if it was okay with them and they wish to continue. Because sure as shooting it isn't going to be a tender soft kiss is she doesn't want to continue. She might be clueless, afraid, or whatever so proceed at your own risk. A slap is a pretty good indication that your kiss was unwelcome or unwarranted. I know I shouldn't have to point this out but let's face it, some people are CLUELESS. I'm only doing my human duty by pointing out some of these obvious things.
Apparently, you should actually want to do this. Believe it or not, it comes through in the kiss if you're waiting to wipe the back of your hand with it. Take note, if they immediately do this after you kiss them, it was probably a bad kiss. Some people just don't like kissing, I get it but since it's a favorite sport or pastime of mine, I don't want to hear that you don't want my kisses. Just don't get in the situation then where we are kissing then because I have been told by numerous people that I am good at it, I enjoy it, and while they won't give me testimonials, I don't want to be kissing someone who doesn't want it or mine! Okay, this isn't about me and my kisses, I get that, I'll get back to the point of my observations...
Eye contact is to be desired. The eyes are the windows to the soul, I wax poetic, but seriously folks. A glare will tell you, she isn't that interested in you mashing your lips against hers. You can tell a lot about what they might want, desire, or don't want or desire by looking in their eyes. Now if they are wearing an eye patch, dark sun glasses, or a blindfold, that is an entirely different matter and I will let you work that out for yourself. Sorry, I can't possibly cover all branches of the topic at hand for everyone in every situation. But if she gets all dreamy eyed and leans into you, it's a fair bet that she liked the kiss and would like more.
Breathing is another good indicator. Good oral hygiene should be addressed here but then that would be another chapter. You want someone to WANT to be kissing you and if your breath is full of onions and garlic and you haven't eaten them in years, we have a problem Houston. But if her breath smells ideally like a flower, her lips taste of sweet wine, and her tongue...okay I'm not writing a friggin romance here, ahemm. Let's face it, nice breath is great when you're kissing that girl you wanted to kiss. Tic Tacs are cheap, take note. I know it's terrible when she has a cold and can't breathe, but give her a break then and keep it to a peck, besides you don't want those nasty germs she wants to share with you so you're both miserable. You have to be able to breathe through your nose when you're enjoying a good kiss, a deep kiss, a passionate kiss.
There is a lot of history in a kiss too if you take note of it. There is the kiss of peace. Should be self explanatory but apparently there is whole books written about when it hasn't been given and wars ensued. For a pretty homophobic society as a whole, men have been kissing men and women have been kissing women for centuries. Not just on the lips but on the hand and other parts of people's anatomy.
There is the kiss off of course. Everyone has to know that one. The phrase 'kiss my ass' is infamous in the English speaking world. It doesn't always translate well into other languages for some reason. Hmm, I will have to research that some day and figure out why. The visual of course can be incendiary, sending people to arms, or wrapping their arms around the appropriate person depending on their proclivities.
I Googled Kiss and got some very interesting results. After going through pages of the band called Kiss, and as a side note that one member has an OBSCENE tongue length, gross, I came across a 'how to' section that helped enormously for those inept kissers who want a lot of information that does them no good in the long run. I can't say it enough, practice makes perfect. This section could have been helpful, but.... It starts with the notorious FRENCH KISS and ends with HOW TO AVOID HERPES. I can't tell you how that made me feel and you already heard me about the sore on the lip thing. Just when you think you're going to enjoy something, something you could possibly be good at, they have to throw in a disease that is communicable by kissing, that could affect your whole social life, and more. Kissing someone through a dental barrier (those rubber thingys) or a mask just doesn't have the same appeal as a good ole lip on lip kiss.
A kiss, when it's done right, with the right person and even sometimes with the wrong person, can be heavenly. I heartily endorse the kiss. I suggest you all try it on occasion. It doesn't matter (to me) where, or when, or why, but a good kiss, a kind kiss, a passionate kiss (careful in public with that one due to strange laws on the books and in Southern States for some reason), shows a vulnerability that you want to be loved and lets say it, love makes the world go round. I heartily endorse love, and in my esteemed opinion, it all starts with a kiss.
When you get the right kiss, the kind that encompasses your entire body, the whole body becomes clenched, your toes curl, your hands grip into fists, the right kiss...it's more than mere words can describe. For those who haven't come close to this phenomena, I'm sorry, for those who can describe it better than me, kudos.
Could you imagine if you had to carry a license to kiss? How about the oral exam (I crack myself up). I know there would be many who failed this test and had to take it over and over and over. If the instructor was attractive, the gig would be up. How would you study for it? I can seen over eager teenagers going "Mooommm, I have to study" with their hormones racing to 'take the test.' Not quite like a driver's test. And there's a thought, what language would it be in? What about the written part of the test?
I hope this little ditty has been informative, made you think, and perhaps provided you with a bit of humor to ponder and share with your closest 100 friends. I look forward to hearing from you and perhaps adding another chapter to this little chat. So go out, be productive, and practice.
And practice, practice, practice and then practice some more.
~The End~ K'Anne ;-P