- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Ku Klux Grandpa
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Click hereIt hit me like a six ton truck,
breaking my voice and piercing my heart,
tasting of watered shampoo.
Lights turn on bright,
the smell of years old garbage strong.
It wraps around my throat
and the noise gets louder.
The taste of anger melting
my chocolate body from the inside.
The red card of hatred
played out.
He is as accepting as
a seven shoe of a nine foot.
I wait in hiding
feeling betrayed.
I realize that
I am an exception to him.
I will have to
avoid certain places.
The hatred secured within
when exceptions come to visit,
remembering lost times
of hidden hatred.
All the while these rocks
scream and hurt me.
My voice broken off
in my leaking heart.
- COMMENTS
MyNecroticSnailabout 17 years agoHigh Point:
tasting of watered shampoo.
(never heard it described that way)
Low point:
VD covered those-
score bumped up because it is something different
darkerdreamerabout 17 years agoI absolutely loved this poem. It showed almost a soft side of something considered so evil. The betrayal and shame felt by the granddaughter is heart breaking. Thank you for submitting this.
Amyfriendabout 17 years agoimages created in this poem. I think you've really got something here, but towards the end it changed. Maybe a little light editing and you've got a winner. Thanks.
Anonymousabout 17 years agoThis quite a strong poem, both in terms of its construction and in how it speaks to the reader.
Some excellent imagery here, such as the first stanza:
It hit me like a six ton truck,
breaking my voice and piercing my heart,
tasting of watered shampoo
Would cut out the line 'His brick heart turns to putty'
which sounds a bit cliched, imho
The Italian stanza sounds out of place, too
Good stuff, mentioned in today's new poem reviews
