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Click hereI'll quit trying today.
I'll simply go away.
I'll sit and stare
at the window and screen,
count the spots of broken dreams.
I'll quit trying today.
I'll simply go away.
The sky will darken.
The moon will shine.
I'll see it all from a mountain high.
I quit trying today.
I simply went away.
I left this place
to be alone and free,
because I quit trying today.
You take us to a dark place with this poem and I enjoyed reading it. If you'd like to work with poetry more, I suggest keeping this one as the start of a series where you examine different ways of expressing that frustration and desire to escape through the use of as many dark and escape metaphors as you can in individual poems. You've offered night and mountain retreat in this one ... what's next? Shadow and cave?
See what I mean? There is no disrespect intended in this comment, I think, as a talented writer with a knack for self-expression, you could really produce some excellent poetry with this sort of exercise. Thanks for sharing your poetry.
-- Carrie.