tagHumor & SatireLesson #02

Lesson #02


Two weeks ago when my girlfriend, Terri, left for summer camp I was about as innocent and naïve as a new high school grad could possibly be. But then I got a lesson. A lesson in fuckin and it was from Terri's mother. She taught me a lot and I was not looking forward to Terri's return this afternoon. I was a little bit worried about what Terri might think when she found out I'd been fucking her mother every day for the past two weeks. She and her mother were very close and openly discussed all aspects of sex, but somewhere I figured there must be a line and maybe, fuckin her mother had crossed it.

Terri's mom was divorced and although she had complained to my mom that she was twenty pounds over weight and twenty years too old, I liked her just the way she was. She was horny and had really big – I mean big boobs. I had been cutting her grass since Terri's older brother, Zack, had left to join the army. The day Terri left for camp, I saw her mother in a T-shirt without a brassiere and she saw me staring at her tits. One thing led to another and I got a lesson in fucking during the two weeks my girlfriend was gone.

I'd been dating her daughter, Terri, for six months and I'd been fuckin her regular. Her mother knew all about that. Terri and I had just graduated from high school and this was gonna be a great summer, except the first two weeks when Terri was away at girls' camp. It turned out to be the best two weeks of my young life, except that now I had to get Terri to see it from my perspective. And I thought she might not. I had two things going for me. First Terri and her mom were real close and second Terri had lied to me about being a virgin. I found out from her mom that Terri had been fucking her brother, Zack, before she fucked me. Of course I couldn't tell, because I was too young to know the difference between a fresh pussy, one that's slightly used, and one doing double duty.

So there I was, waiting for Terri to get off the bus from camp, and trying to figure out how to tell her that I'd been fucking her mother, without getting Terri all upset. Her mom was waiting with me and I kept asking her what I should say. And I wasn't getting much help.

"Just tell her Billy," her mom said. "These things gotta be kept right out on top of the table. Remember how upset you were last week when I told you she'd been fucking Zack. Now think about it, if she'd told you she wasn't a virgin right up front you'd a had nothing to complain about. Right?"

"Well ... I guess ... but ... ah ... you know ... ah ... she kept on fucking him ... ah ... you know ... while she was dating me."

"Of course she did. Their bedrooms were right next to each other. He was her brother. What would you expect? If she'd told you about it, then it would have been okay. I mean, you weren't going steady or anything."

Somehow, I missed the logic of all that, but it seemed to make sense to Terri's mother. I wasn't getting much help.

"Besides," her mother continued, "you're not the only one getting laid these past two weeks."

"What do you mean?" I couldn't figure that out.

"Look Billy, everywhere there's a girls' summer camp, there's also a boys' summer camp right next door. Horny high school seniors will always find a way to get together. If I know Terri, that horny little bitch has been fuckin some guy in the woods between those two camps."

Oh my God! Oh no! Not Terri! She wouldn't do that. But then it was hard for me to believe she'd been fuckin Zack all those months. And blowing him. And ... And ...

"She can't very well blame you for getting laid at home when she's been doing the same thing in the woods. You gotta tell her."

My mind was racing. But I wasn't just getting laid – I'd been fuckin her mother. It was getting more and more hard to believe. I knew that when Terri and her mom got together they would tell each other everything about their sexual experiences. If I didn't tell Terri first, I'd be in deep shit. Okay but how do I say it. How do you tell your girlfriend that you've been fuckin her mother? There didn't seem to be a good way. Terri's mom had said things like "keep it simple" and "tell her up front."

I looked at my watch. I had only a few minutes. I thought and thought. Maybe something simple like "I really missed you a lot baby, and oh by the way, I've been fuckin your mom while you've been gone." Well, I'm not that experienced with women but right away I knew that was not gonna work.

"Please, you've got to help me," I said to Terri's mom. "I don't know what to do."

"Okay. She's my daughter and she's almost a woman and I hate to give away female secrets but I like you a lot and you really do need help. And I've been teaching you a lot these past two weeks. So here goes. What did you see in this parking lot as we were getting out of the car?"

"Nothing," I said.

"Men! You gotta lead 'em. Sometimes you gotta lead 'em by their pecker. Okay. You saw a bus."

I remembered the bus. I nodded.

"So, does that give you any ideas?"

I thought a minute and shook my head no."

"Remember that a good offense is always better than a good defense. Does that help."

I shook my head no.

She sighed, shaking her head from side to side. "Who got off of that bus?"

This was silly. She knew as well as I did. "A bunch of guys coming back from summer camp."

"Right. Does that give you any fresh ideas?"

I couldn't figure out what she was talking about so I shook my head no.

Another big sigh. "What's the first thing a guy getting back from camp tells his buddies?"

I just stood there looking puzzled.

Another big sigh. "You're too dumb to breathe. Okay, the first thing a guy talks about after summer camp is the same thing that's been on his mind 95% of his waking hours since he was thirteen: Pussy!"

I was still in the dark and I must have had a funny look on my face because she just gave up and laid it out for me.

"Okay, Billy. You kiss her - give her the big hello. Tell her you love her. Tell her how much you missed her. Walk back to the car, hand and hand. Then you tell me that you need to talk to Terri alone and you two will walk home. She'll hear you say you need to talk to her alone and the first thought that will pop into that horny little brain will be that guy she fucked in the woods."

"But what if she didn't fuck anybody in the woods?"

"Billy, trust me," she said, shaking her head from side to side in disgust. "I know Terri – she's my daughter. I know horny high school girls – I was one once. I know about summer camps – I've been there. I know what girls do and how girls think. She fucked somebody! Or did something she doesn't want you to know about. Maybe not in the woods, but somewhere – with somebody. Maybe more than one somebody."

More than one? Oh no! Oh my god! No. Not my Terri. Not my sweet Terri. She wouldn't. She just couldn't.

"When you walk her home the first thing you've got to say is something like this: 'Terri baby, you know I love you. I'm not mad. But you've just got to be more careful.' Keep it simple and don't give any details. Just say that and wait. She won't say anything for a while. She's gonna be thinking. She's gonna figure you heard something – probably from one of the guys on the boys' bus that just got here or maybe a phone call home – something. She's gonna get scared. After a few minutes of silence you say something like, 'Terri darling, I'm not trying to tell you what you can and can't do. Each of us lives our own life, but ... ' and stop right there. Then don't say anything else."

"My Terri is a smart little broad but she's just your age. She may not fall for it but most likely she will. And she will because she likes you a lot. I mean she really likes you. She doesn't want to lose you. If you wait and say nothing, she's gonna start talking real soft. The first thing she's gonna tell you is that she loves you a lot and then she's gonna say that she's sorry and she won't do it again. Then probably she'll say that it was only one guy once and she really loves you and not him. Maybe you'll find out who it was because she'll figure he was the guy who told you or one of his buddies told you and gave you his name."

I thought about what she said. It was the only chance I had because I saw the bus pulling into the parking lot. I crossed my fingers and hoped.

Terri's mom had taught me how to fuck and how to eat pussy and all kinds of useful things. She was really smart. I did exactly what she told me to do. And – miracle of miracles - this came off almost like a script. Like she had written it herself. I did exactly what she said and as I was silent half way home, Terri started out with "I love you very much" and then she told me the story – exactly like her mom said she would – except it was two guys instead of one and a lot more times than once. Oh shit! But she still loved me she said. I guess.

When we got home at mid-afternoon, Terri's mother met us smiling. "I'm going to the shopping mall for the rest of the afternoon."

Wow! That was great. Terri and I could be alone. In her bedroom! Not in the backseat of that damn Toyota. Jesus that was great. Then I got to thinking. Terri's mom is doing this for me. Why? What does she want me to do? I was glad she wasn't standing there watching me as I figured it out. She wanted me to fuck her daughter and then tell her what I had been doing while Terri was at girls' camp. Terri was feeling real guilty about fucking those two guys. Oh my God! Two! But she said she didn't love them – she loved me!

When her mother left we went up to Terri's bedroom and got undressed. I felt a lot better about sex after the last two weeks with Terri's mother. I remember her saying that if you eat pussy real good, a girl will be your slave. So, the first thing I did was to go down on that tight little pussy of Terri's. I remembered what her mother had taught me and I concentrated on doing it right. Her pussy was so much smaller than her mother's. Her clit was smaller – but it got hard just like her mother. Her inner pussy lips were a lot smaller and they didn't hang down like her mother's. She was not nearly as hairy as her mother. But she tasted the same - just like anchovies - and I ate pussy and I brought her off really fast. She loved it.

It is hard to describe Terri's reaction as I lay there between her legs, resting my face on her tight little pussy, and listening to her heavy breathing after her orgasm. She reached down and grabbed my head and pulled me up and kissed me passionately, running her fingers through my hair.

"Oh my God! Billy! How did you learn to do that? Oh Jesus!"

"Did you like it?" I asked.

"Like it? It was ecstasy! Sheer bliss. I can't tell you how much I liked it."

"I'm glad," I said.

"Oh baby. I love you."

And then, suddenly suspicious, she said, "Have you been with another girl? Where did you learn to do that?"

Then she suddenly raised up in bed, angry. "You've been with another girl while I've been gone!" She said accusingly. "Who was it? Who taught you to do that?"

"You'll be mad at me," I said.

"You've been with some bitch! Tell me! Who showed you that?"

I paused. There would never ever be a better time. "Your mother."

"Mom taught you?"


"Not some bitch?"

"No. Your mom taught me."

She looked at me. She was thinking. Slowly she unraveled her thoughts. "Mom has been so lonely since she divorced Dad. She's never had a boyfriend. She gets so horny. She wears out her vibrator batteries in a couple of days."

"She taught you how to eat pussy?"


"It was her, not some asshole bitch?"

"It was her."

"Jesus Billy, I'm sorry about those guys."

"I know."

"Did Mom teach you how to fuck too?"


"Show me!" She smiled from ear to ear, giggled, laid back on the bed, and spread her legs wide with her knees up in the air.

I showed her. I was so much more confident now that I was in control of my pecker. We were in bed instead of the back seat of that damn Toyota. Everything just went perfectly and Terri had another orgasm almost immediately, but I kept control, went on fucking her, and gave her another one when I pumped my load. This was nothing like that quivering inexperienced kid in the back seat of that damn Toyota It was the best I'd ever fucked her. I'd never before given her three orgasms in less than an hour. She looked up at me and smiled and told me how much she loved me and giggled a lot.

Then she said, "I love you so much. I'm really sorry about those two guys. I'm gonna love you and I'll be better for you from now on. You know I fucked Zack, don't you?"

"Your mother told me."

"You know I wasn't a virgin?"


"Do you care a lot?"

"No. I love you."

"I love you too."

Suddenly she sat straight up in bed. "Oh shit! Double shit! What about Mom?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who's gonna take care of Mom?"

"Well ... ah ... you know ... I ... ah." I thought more carefully about what I almost said.

She thought for a minute. Then, "Mom and I haven't had our talk yet. I'll have to find out what she wants to do. Is that okay with you? Will you do what Mom wants?"

"That's okay with me," I said, wondering what her mother would suggest. And hoping! Then I started thinking about those big, beautiful, bouncing boobs and that warm friendly mouth. Especially that mouth! Her mom had given me a lesson. Maybe Terri will figure out she needs one too. This was a very unusual family. But good!

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