Letter to Mistressbymummys dirty angel©
*** A note to the readers who know of my dirty mind... there is no sex here!
I sit here, my stomach still in knots. It's been this way for the last twenty-eight hours. And why? I have disappointed you. Made you angry. Betrayed you. A moment of reckless sluttiness has sent me on my way to having my greatest fear realised. Would you do it, Mistress? Would you leave me? You haven't called for hours. I have had no contact from you today. You normally write to me, you normally call me. Today there has been nothing. I am ashamed of my behaviour. I broke the rules, your rules. My body you own and I gave it to another.
I am crumbling inside, feeling lost and insecure. I have felt safe with you for months, I trust you with my deepest, darkest thoughts. My wants and needs involve you. The long pauses between us are punishment enough. Is this your way to punish me slowly, to make me feel vulnerable, to get me to drop to my knees and wait for you? I'm waiting for you and still you don't call.
I wonder if you are on your way, to punish me personally. Are you Mistress? I know the punishment will be harsh. I would feel your paddle and your rawhide flogger. They are your ultimate punishment toys. Because I know of your anger and disappointment, I very much doubt you would wear what I love you to be in; your heels and stockings. Today, if you were on your way, your clothes would be casual. There would be no need for teasing me. We won't be playing. Today, I would feel your anger.
I know how you would do it. You would take me to my room and make me strip. I would need to do this painfully slow. Eye contact with you is vital, as I know you'd want to see my remorse. You would take delight in the fact that your submissive has transgressed and that now it was your time to bestow your wrath upon her. You would stand no more than four feet away from me, holding your paddle and your flogger. You would occasionally swish the flogger through the air, the cool breeze would whisper on my arms.
When my clothes had dropped to the floor, leaving me naked and open, you would order me to lie on my bed, on my front. My arms and ankles would be bound to each corner. My final preparation would be my black thong that you would use to gag me. The thong, so important in my role as your submissive and your maid, I wear it when requested by you.
You would stand at the side of my bed and unleash your rawhide flogger on my bottom. You would be relentless in your glory to teach me a lesson, a lesson that I would learn the hard way. I would plead for you to stop but I know my pleas would go unheard. My bottom would have to be glowing red and crimson before you halted your assault, it would be red hot and stinging like hell! When you stop the whipping I know that my punishment wouldn't be over. Why else would you bring your paddle?
I know that my thighs would be where your next assault would begin. They would be open slightly and tender from the strands on your flogger. I would brace myself for the blows from the paddle. You would make sure my thighs burned as hot as my bottom. I would be crying and gasping around my thong, pleading for mercy, but I know I wouldn't get it. The tender creamy white of my inner thigh would be turning to the same crimson colour as my outer thigh and bottom as your paddle strikes me over and over.
After you have finished with the paddle on my thighs, you would untie me from my bonds and order me onto my back. You would then again restrain my arms and ankles to the corners of my bed. I would have continuous eye contact with you and your toys. For you to use your rawhide flogger on me you would need to step onto my bed and stand between my spread legs. You would be in the position that I love you in, although this time I would derive no pleasure at all from it.
Your flogger would rain down on my breasts. The main targets would be my nipples. Over and over you would strike them. When you were satisfied with the sore, brutal markings and inflamed nipples you would move lower. You would strike my legs and work your way up to my inner thighs. You would then finish my punishment by whipping my pussy. Your ultimate goal would be to mark it with your flogger's kisses, to make it sore and temporarily defunct.
You wouldn't leave it at that either. You have relayed this punishment into me many times, threatening to use your paddle and flogger if I betrayed you with the sin that I have now committed. This is the punishment I have been dreading, for at the end there will be no release for me. You won't come up to me and cuddle me like you usually do. I won't feel the stroke of your fingers down my cheeks and this time I would not be rewarded with you squatting above my mouth. There would be little or no communication from you. You would leave me there, on my bed, bound and alone in the dark.
Mistress, I am so ashamed for what I did and I will never do it again. I made a senseless mistake. Apart from your scolding yesterday you have barely said two words to me. The silence is a constant reminder that I maybe losing you. I am becoming empty. If you instruct me to remove my leather bracelet, i'll know that I have lost you forever.
I understand your anger, but I need you now. I need to feel complete. Please forgive me.