Look Ma, No Hands!

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Is it a "real" blowjob if she uses her hands, too?
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Selena_Kitt
Selena_Kitt
5,710 Followers

I got an interesting bit of feedback from a reader the other day:

"Great story, but you can't call it a blowjob if she uses her hands. If the hands are involved, it's called a handjob - that's cheating! Blowjobs are all mouth and nothing but the mouth..."

Huh! Really?

Who knew?

And how come no one ever told me about this rule?

I certainly didn't know about it the first time I took a cock into my mouth—I remember using my hand to keep a little control, to prevent myself from gagging on the length. It's rather scary to have a rigid press of flesh in your mouth for the first time that way, slowly turning a man you thought you knew into someone all low growl and furious drive.

Of course, over time, a girl gets used to sucking cock. Some of us grow to like it... love it... even crave it. Perhaps "need" wouldn't be too strong a word, here... for some of us, anyway. Once you're used to the throb and thrust of a cock, once you've learned how it behaves in your mouth, you don't necessarily need that barrier of a hand wrapped around the base anymore. But it can still be fun...

After its initial safety use, does the hand lose its utility? I mean, without the hand (and more specifically opposable thumbs) we wouldn't have much of an advantage over the animal kingdom, right? Those opposable thumbs allowed us to make tools - so why not utilize that skill to work, well... his tool? Doesn't that make sense?

In fact, from what I understand, changing things up, at least near the beginning of a blowjob, is a plus. Guys seem to like the different sensations of a warm, wet mouth, the flick of a tongue, the squeeze and tug and even twist of a hand, the slap against a cheek or a breast... it's all good, right? Granted, when he gets closer to the finish line, a consistent motion serves to take him quicker to the finale, but don't guys enjoy the tease for a while before this point?

Well, according to at least one reader... not so much. (Okay, yes, I'm going from a database of one, here, but if you take statistics into account--isn't there a law that says if one person sends you feedback, there are at least 100 others out there who feel the same... or something like that?)

But why? What is it about a woman not using her hands during a blowjob that's so appealing to some men, then, I wonder?

I can understand that the mouth feels good—better, even, than a hand. Having been on the receiving end of both in the realm of my own (albeit differently formed!) genitals, I can say that I do prefer the press of a tongue to the rub of fingers. However, I don't object to fingers, not in the least. In fact, I enjoy both of them working together down there, rubbing and licking, licking and rubbing... it's a deliciously wonderful combination.

So why the objection to a hand in the realm of the cock? Isn't there a saying—two hands are better than one? So two hands and a mouth should be... nirvana! No? I admit, when I got this feedback, I was initially bewildered... befuddled... bemused...

Why the rejection of the hand? The fascination with just the mouth?

And then it occurred to me! (Coincidentally—or maybe not so—I had a cock in my mouth at the time, lathering it with all sorts of cock-loving attention, when the light bulb went off over my head...)

Perhaps it's just that men are so used to women not liking or wanting to perform oral sex, that when they do finally get a blowjob, they want the whole mouth and nothing but the mouth. A woman using her hand seems like cheating because... well, a handjob is really little more than masturbation with someone else's hand.

Am I onto something? I think I might be.

As a fellatio enthusiast myself, I can't imagine not wanting to use my mouth during a blowjob, or in fact, using my hand to minimize the amount of time a cock spends in that particular orifice. I love the taste, the feel, the hard thrust and final white-hot culmination—I love it all. But what would it be like, I wondered, for a woman who didn't appreciate what I do about the cock?

I tried to put myself in her place... it wasn't easy, but I managed... and suddenly, it all made sense. I could now understand how a woman who really didn't like having a cock in her mouth might use the hand to keep the beast at bay—how she might just keep up that consistent handjob motion to bring him off a little faster while she occasionally licked and sucked at the head. And, of course, she'd be able to avoid the coming-in-the-mouth issue altogether if she wasn't balls-deep when the moment arrived...

Then I looked at it from another perspective. On the receiving end of oral, I definitely wouldn't appreciate a whole lot of rubbing and just an occasional lick. I could definitely see how that would feel "unfair" or like "cheating." Fortunately for me, most of the men I've been with have been oral sex enthusiasts and wouldn't think about not primarily using the tongue.

Statistically, though, I think there are more men who truly enjoy cunnilingus than women who feel reciprocally the same about fellatio. Which is a shame, really. And while now I totally "get" the feedback that was sent to me about a woman "cheating" when she uses her hand -- I would like to point out that this "rule," across the board, doesn't always apply.

Don't forget, some women really love sucking cock, and for those of us who do, using our hands allows us to play with our favorite toy with much more vigor and enthusiasm. Would you give a girl an ice cream cone and then tie her hands behind her back?

Well, maybe that's not the best example... because that image is rather hot! But you understand what I mean, right? A woman who hates ice cream (I can't fathom that any more than I can fathom a woman not loving cock, but whatever!) will bolt that thing down as fast as possible. (And probably go throw it up later! Ugh.)

But a woman who loves cock ice cream? She's going to use all her senses to enjoy the experience. Hands aren't bad, not when they're used with the best of intentions. In fact, they can be a great asset for those of us who truly enjoy orally worshipping at the Altar of Cock Ice Cream.

So if you're lucky enough to find a woman who enthusiastically loves cock, let her use her hands, her mouth, her breasts, her feet, her... whatever! Because for that woman, using her hands isn't "cheating" - it's a bonus! And if you happen to be with a woman who you suspect doesn't really enjoy her time down there with the cock... then maybe you should find another woman consider asking her for something a little more reciprocal in the oral sex department?

I don't blame you for feeling cheated by a woman who is more interested in getting a blowjob over with than appreciating it, who uses her hand more than her mouth to keep the experience at arms length... but please, don't punish those of us who are cock-lovers with some blanket "Look Ma, No Hands!" rule because of the slights of those out there who aren't...

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>^,,^<

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If you enjoyed this, remember to leave some feedback and don't forget to vote!

Also, if you want to get more of me faster when you come to Lit (*grin*) don't forget to add me to your favorites!

Thanks for reading,

XOXO

~*~*Selena*~*~

Selena_Kitt
Selena_Kitt
5,710 Followers
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davebccanadadavebccanadaover 12 years ago
I'm lucky enough to have had it both ways.

I think your reader had a thing with a woman who was reluctant to partake in oral sex. It might be he was into controlling her actions or it might have been his inexperience. My credo??? ...it's all GOOD!!

In time I'm sure he will agree.

johnnyroadhogjohnnyroadhogover 14 years ago
use of hands

While I agree with this guy in some ways, I like it better if the Lady uses her hands to lightly play with my balls, ass, rubbing them over my body, and lightly running her fingernails over my ass and legs. Also when she uses her hands on my ass to pull me to her.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
I love the use of mouth, hands, breasts on my ice

There is nothing more rewarding then the honors paid to my ice cream cone by my lover with her hands, breasts,lips, tongue,and when she licks it like a lollipop on the head while tightly squeezing my shaft in her hand, it makes me moan outloud..cant help it..that is heaven to make me ache to prolong it and then go over the cliff...Oh God I love it

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Quantifying it

I'll say that whoever said using hands is cheating is an idiot. I'll agree that the hands-free approach is a bit more submissive. While that has its own special appeal, it basically amounts to throat-fucking, which can be thrilling but is rarely the mind-blowing experience a hands-on BJ can be.

I'd argue that the best BJs are going to involve constant manual stimulation, whether of the balls while sucking the cock or vice versa. It's fairly simple -- a blow job involves using the mouth at all times regardless of what the hands are doing. Exceptions are made when stopping to catch your breath, talk dirty, or finishing the BJ by hand. A hand job is manual stimulation from start to finish, possibly with a little oral stimulation thrown in for lubrication and/or variety.

In a hypothetical ten minute encounter, hands should always be doing something. I'd argue that 5+ minutes of oral qualifies as a BJ, provided the time without oral doesn't come in a five-minute chunk at the end. Intermittent licking for a total of two of the ten minutes would NOT constitute a BJ.

Frankly, I'd say the bigger misuse of the term "blow job" is when using it in regards to foreplay. Two minutes of sucking prior to sex doesn't count as a blow job. A BJ is both a means to an end and the end itself.

Emerald_DragonEmerald_Dragonalmost 16 years ago
hehehehehahahah!!!!!!!!!

One of my hubby's favorite 'accesories' during a BJ is fingernails running along the insides of his thighs and light strokes on his balls. Maybe the commentor in question has never had a quality BJ? Great article Selena!

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