Love or Lust?byRaevynWynterMoon©
Cole was dreaming about a beautiful house surrounded by trees and shrubs. She felt happy, and when she looked down at her belly, it was big and round, like that of a pregnant woman. She looked around and saw two little children running around. Ellie came up to her and hugged her belly. A man came and wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "Time to wake up."
Cole thought it was unfair that this was a dream, but when the man touched her ass and then slipped a finger inside her cunt, she decided that it was alright if it was only a dream. The dream stopped as her eyes fluttered awake to the feeling of Zach kissing her neck and fingering her. She moaned as he pulled his finger out and then started teasing her clit. He pulled her on top of him. Cole didn't want to talk, she just wanted to get off. She grabbed his cock and impaled herself on it; he filled her more than she could take, and in her fervor, she re-tore herself. She bounced up and down on him, her breasts moving in time as she supported herself by holding onto his thighs.
He looked at her and in this moment he could swear she was his punishment, he would never find a girl like her. She was an amazing fuck, beautiful and kinky, she was tiny and petite but she wasn't fragile. She was smart and funny, shy but still able to speak her mind when needed. She knew how to cook and take care of a man in more than one way. To top it all off, she actually enjoyed his company and was sweet to him even when she was mad. She tilted her head forward, and a messy curl brushed past her nipple. He knew he didn't want anyone else.
She climaxed, and the way she tilted her head back and her mouth opened to let sound escape was beautiful. He never wanted to let her go, so he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, holding her down on him, kissing her neck and cheek and lips. He thrust into her until he couldn't take it and had to release himself. He came inside her, holding her tightly to him and burying his face in her neck. When Cole felt him release inside her, she remembered that she needed to take a morning-after pill when they got home. She looked down at him; he seemed so burdened and helpless that she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. They just laid there, holding each other without talking.
"What's on your mind?" she asked, breaking the silence after ten minutes or so.
"Nothing, just how amazing you are." he replied, looking into her eyes. She kissed him and snuggled into his arms. He was warm and strong, and she knew what her dream was about. Could he really be the one? I fit perfectly in his arms and I've never been made love to like that before. He made me come more times in one night than I have the whole 26 years I've been alive. He really is sweet; he may seem like a sarcastic asshole on the outside, but he's so sincere on the inside.
"I need to get cleaned up, sex is great but really messy." Grinning, Cole unwrapped herself from his hold and put on her NIN t-shirt before climbing out of the tent barefoot and walking down to the lake. At the shore, she stripped and walked into the cold water that swirled around her. Zach joined her, naked and bearing soap, and they spent the next fifteen minutes cleaning each other. When they were done, they walked back to the campsite naked. Cole grabbed a towel to wrap around herself, and Zach put on a plain white tee and black jeans. Cole waited outside for Jared and Michelle to wake up so that she could retrieve her clothes, watching Zach make coffee and warming up by the fire in the meantime.
Michelle slowly opened her eyes to the bright morning sun. God, my head hurts... She sat up in surprise when she realized that she had been resting on Jared's chest. What happened last night? She checked under the covers carefully and was glad their clothes were still on. Well, at least we didn't do it. I hope. Where the fuck is Cole? She stretched and looked around the tent. He looks so carefree and serene sleeping. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. I mean, if we do date and things don't work out, where does that leave me? Or Ellie? She'll be affected by this as much as me. What will I tell her if he turns out to be another disappointment?
She carefully climbed out of the sleeping bag and dug into her suitcase. Checking over her shoulder to make sure Jared was still asleep, she quickly changed into a short, pleated sunflower skirt and a plain white tank top. Dressed, and feeling much more appropriate, she knelt beside him and watched him sleep. What am I doing? I'm leading him on and letting him think I want to be with him. God, I'm such an idiot. I do want to be with him! But I can't. I can't let Ellie's hopes of having a father figure get dashed again. How would I ever explain that to her? But still, how can I throw away his affections so easily? I'm so confused. Jared rolled to his side and moved his arm as if to wrap it around the space where her body had been. His eyes opened when he realized she wasn't beside him.
"Morning." He stretched long like a cat and ran a hand roughly over the side of his face.
He sat up and gingerly brushed his fingertips above her temple. "How's your head?" he asked, sweeping her hair back behind her ear.
No. I can't lead him on anymore if I'm not serious.
"It's fine." She said quickly, getting up to leave.
"What's wrong?" he asked, gently catching her by the hand.
"It's nothing." She broke from his grasp and left him cold, alone, and brokenhearted.
Jared watched her go, hoping she would turn around and tell him what she was thinking. "It's nothing." The words cut into him like a knife, robbing him of the ability to breathe, let alone speak.Nothing. I don't understand... she seems so distant now. What did I do? What would make her turn away so suddenly? Yesterday is like a dream now, she was so passionate and happy. Now she's avoiding me like I'm an incubus with a viral plague. He brought his knees up and rested his elbows on them, running his fingers through his hair. How could I do this to myself again? Every time I put myself out there, my heart is always broken. Maybe I really will die alone.
He sighed and left the tent. Outside, the sun was shining bright above him, reminding him that everyone else in the world was happy. In love, even. He looked at Cole and Zach chatting by the fire. I hate them right now. I hate that they are happy. I shouldn't have even come here. At least at home we were still friends. He glanced up at Michelle, waiting for the hint of a spark of what they had.Nothing. Just like she said. He ripped open his tent's zipper. Great, they fucked all over my bed too... assholes! Is it too much to ask that they just keep it on their own things? He reached into his suitcase and pulled out a t shirt.
"Everything smells like fucking SEX!" He dug into the untainted bottom of his bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a black layered tee. He quickly changed and stepped out still pulling the shirt over his head. He looked up to see Zach's cheesy grin and Cole turning the waffle maker over the grill. Michelle was approaching them from the path, wrinkling her nose.
"What's that smell? That's not from you guys fucking is it? Yuck!" She stuck out her tongue for emphasis.
"Hey!" Cole glared at her indignantly. "Take that back, bitch!"
Jared watched Zach pinch her on the ass. "It's not you, sweetie, don't worry."
Jared rolled his eyes and searched for the source of the smell, finding the bucket of rotting fish. "It's this." He shouted, holding it up and searching for a place to dispose of it. She still hasn't even looked at me. Watching the silent redhead out of the corner of his eye, Jared didn't see the rustle in the bushes beside him. A huge grizzly roared out, and Jared fell back to the ground in shock. Cole screamed behind him as he scrambled out of the bear's reach. Zach emerged from the tent with a gun, and Jared climbed behind one of the logs. Cole was huddled there next to him, covering her mouth and trying not to scream. He wrapped an arm around her.
"It'll be alright, Zach will shoot the bear." He tried to soothe her. He had doubts as he watched Zach fumble while loading the gun. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of yellow flying towards Zach. He saw Michelle take the gun. He watched her load the gun and then point it at the bear, who was slowly approaching her. What is she doing? He tried to stand to go to her but Cole grabbed his arm and held on to him.
"SHOOT THE MOTHER FUCKING BEAR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SHOOT THE DAMN THING!!" Zach yelled at Michelle. The bear reared up on its hind legs, swinging its paw in the air above Michelle, who had the gun pointed at the bear's head. The bear was four feet in front of her, roaring. Its spit splattering her face, she cocked the gun. The next time the bear opened its mouth, all the forest went quiet as she pulled the trigger--BANG! The bear stood still for a few seconds before falling to its side and landing right in front of Zach, who was now screaming like a girl. Michelle quickly re-cocked the gun, pointing it at the bear again.
"Shut up, you pansy." Oh my ... god ... did she just shoot a bear?
Cole got quickly up and ran to Zach. "Oh my god, are you okay?" she asked.
"Is he okay?" Michelle was incredulous.
Cole looked up at her friend. "Yeah I knew you'd be fine, you know what you're doing. He, however, was screaming like a girl." Cole looked back to the man she was trying to console. "Did you get hurt?" she asked him softly.
"I'm fine. That bear was nothing--I could have taken him down if the gun hadn't jammed." He said indignantly. Jared couldn't help but laugh as he walked over to the bear and looked at it laying there. "Well, Quinn and his family will love this, but we should probably pack up and leave." They packed everything up and stowed it in the boat. This time, Cole didn't seem to mind the boat so much.The bear must have made her realize that there are just as many dangers on land as in the water, Jared thought as he slowed the boat to a stop on the other shore next to their vehicle.
"Well, at least no one took our car." Zach said. No one replied, and everyone silently helped load the gear into the car. Michelle and Cole got in the back seat and Zach sat shotgun while Jared drove. After a quick stop at Quinn's house to tell him about the bear, they started on the road home.
Zach glanced back at Cole, who was cuddling against her pillow and sleeping. Michelle was sleeping with her earbuds in and Jared was driving. Zach didn't know what to do with himself. I feel like I should tell someone before I dump Heather, but Cole is asleep and I don't want to hurt her. Should I tell Jared? He hates liars, but he'd hate it more if I didn't tell him at all. "Jared, I need to confess something to you." Zach sighed looking out the window.
"You're not going to ignore her are you? She's a sweet girl, and it's fucked up for you to fuck her and leave her." Jared said. What? Does he know about Heather? Zach thought before he realized Jared was talking about Cole.
"No, I really like her, but there's a problem and it's going to piss everyone off and hurt her feelings if she finds out." Zach replied.
"What is it, Zach?" Jared was getting irritated.
"I have a girlfriend in LA. Her name is Heather, and I am going to dump her but I need to tell someone before I do." Zach looked down at his lap and waited for Jared to say something. God, I feel like I'm a little kid sometimes. Jared can be so intense.
"Zach, you really are an asshole sometimes. I don't know why I'm even friends with you. I don't care if you have a girlfriend that you hate, you still have a girlfriend and not only did you cheat on her but..." Jared looked in the back seat at Michelle and Cole sleeping. "You lead on a sweet girl who seems to genuinely like you, unlike the bitch who used you for your money and name. You need to tell Cole. If you don't, I'll tell Michelle. And I doubt Michelle will hold back from telling her friend that she was used." Jared released his clenched grip on the steering wheel
"I need to break up with Heather first before I tell Cole, promise you won't tell anyone until I at least break up with Heather." Zach pleaded.
"I can't promise anything, this is your mess to clean up. You know I hate lying." Jared said, driving steadily.
"Okay, when we stop I'll pump gas and assuming I have cell reception I'll break up with her." Oh god, Cole won't forgive me, she'll hate me and never trust me enough to even just be her friend. Zach thought as Jared kept driving. They drove for a while longer in silence before Jared pulled into a gas station. Cole and Michelle woke up, and Zach got out to pump gas.
"Do either of you need to use the bathroom?" Jared asked, glaring at Zach over his shoulder.
Both girls got out of the car to use the gas station restroom. Watching Cole leave, Zach dialed Heather's number and waited for her to answer. Cole went to the bathroom and washed her hands, looking in the mirror. Wow! I can't believe I made love to Zachary Quinto. I feel like everything I've ever dreamed about is coming true. Cole left the bathroom, excited to see Zach again.
Michelle was standing next to Jared getting some munchies. "Zach has a girlfriend in LA and he cheated on her with Cole." Jared said in one breath, needing to get it out.
"What?!" Michelle started towards the door.
Jared grabbed her wrist. "Wait! He's breaking up with her. He really likes Cole, and even though what he did was shady, I think he feels bad about it himself. He really seems torn up about it. I told him that he had to tell Cole, otherwise it wouldn't be fair to her." Jared looked into Michelle's eyes, worrying that he was breaking her heart by telling her.
She glared back at him. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I just found out in the car, if I had known any sooner I would have told you and her."
Michelle looked at him warily. "Okay."
Cole was walking towards the car when she noticed Zach on the phone. It looks like an important phone call; I better not interrupt him. She went behind a gas pump and leaned on it, waiting for his phone call to end.
"Heather, I need to talk to you about our relationship. I want you to leave my house, I don't want to be with you anymore." Cole heard him say. Her heart stopped a beat. A girlfriend? He has a girlfriend? I slept with him, I helped him cheat on someone. I'm just an easy fuck to him. An excuse to break up with his girlfriend so that he can go sleep with other women. He never wanted me. Cole stepped out from the gas pump, looking at Zach with watering eyes. He panicked when he saw the tears in her eyes, knowing that she'd heard him.
"Heather, I don't love you, just get out of my house," he said, hanging up on her. Cole ran into the car, shoved her earbuds into her ears and blasted the music. Zach went to console her but stopped when he saw Michelle and Jared walking back toward the car. Michelle was glaring at him. Jared, why'd you tell her? Zach thought, getting into the passenger seat. Jared climbed into the back; watching Cole's shoulders heave, he knew she was crying. Jared touched her hand with a knowing look. Getting into the driver's seat, Michelle saw Zach looking upset and Cole crying. Zach could feel everyone's anger at him; glancing back, he saw the completion of his punishment. He had her for a moment, and now she was forever lost to him.
Cole was listening to her iPod, and her tears had slowed down. I hate him; I can't believe I thought he was the one. I'm so stupid and easy, this is why I'll be alone forever. I might as well just give up, the first time I have sex with someone in over three years and I do the stupidest thing possible and get attached to him. I thought I had changed, but I guess I'm just as stupid as I was three years ago. I can't believe I believed him. Cole looked at him. You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it. All this time, you were pretending. So much for my happy ending.
Cole looked away and started to cry again, softly into her pillow. Zach looked out the window, listening to her crying; he wanted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her but she hated him now. I'm so stupid, I should have told her from the beginning that I had a girlfriend or, better yet, I shouldn't have had a girlfriend when I came up here. Zach looked like someone had just run over his dog, only it was more like someone had just run over his heart.
Michelle knew that this heartbreak might make Cole snap. Both of them had tried so hard to change their image, and once they had, Cole was happy but still didn't want to date. The first time she lets herself experience pleasure, she gets her heart broken. Cole had thought that maybe, if she was more attractive, she'd be less likely to get her heart broken. Turns out, getting her heart broken as a thin girl hurts worse than when she was heavier. At least when I was fat I knew why guys didn't want to be with me. I worked hard to look how I look now, and I dress well. But in the two years that I've looked like this, no one has asked me on a date or for coffee. The first guy to make me feel how I look used me, and my heart is breaking. I wish I was more like Michelle. She'll never let herself get her heart broken again. I wish I didn't have the responsibilities I do; otherwise, I'd go kill myself and end this life. Cole fell asleep a short time later. Jared fell asleep too. Michelle drove, periodically looking back at Cole, seeing her tear stained cheeks. She glared at Zach.
"I'm sorry." Zach whispered to Michelle. "I know I fucked up, you hate me now and you have every right to but do you think she could ever forgive me?"
Michelle looked at him. "She has a big heart. For some strange reason, she can forgive a lot of people, but if she ever thought about forgiving you, I'd kill you before you could hurt her enough to make her commit suicide. She has a very fragile soul; she falls for people easily but also gets hurt easily. Just leave her alone before you hurt her more." Zach looked away.
Just leave her alone before you hurt her more... am I just like him? She looked in the rearview mirror to Jared's sleeping figure. What have I done? I kissed him back, I let him into my heart. Now, like Zach, I'm grasping for excuses to hurt him. I hate Zach for what he did, but I really have no right to. I'm just as sick. Using Jared to get away from my own problems, using him to make myself feel, like I don't care about anything else. He's my own private drug. I abuse him and put him back in my stash for later. Doesn't matter that he's a living, breathing, feeling person. I've been so selfish. What do I do? If I apologized, would it just insult him? "Sorry, Jared, I just needed you for a good time and now I'm going to go home and forget all about you..." It's as bad as Zach using Cole for a one-night stand. Worse even, I acted like I genuinely wanted to be with him, like it was this great blossoming Shakespearean romance. How did I become this twisted? Even if he did forgive me and still wanted to work it out, I don't deserve him. I'll only break his heart when things get tough. I'll just run when it gets hard and leave him to deal with the wake of my selfish actions. I don't deserve to be with anyone, let alone a perfect, caring, wonderful man like him. I don't know what to say to make it right. Do I just brush it off and ignore it, like I do everything else? He deserves so much more than that. The highway went on for hours, with the each passenger drifting off to lonely dreams.
Michelle drove into a parking lot and stopped.
"Okay everyone, we're going to stop and eat something," she announced, waking everyone up. Cole got out of the car and stood next to Michelle as they walked into the restaurant. Zach started to walk towards Cole but then stopped when he saw her holding onto Michelle's arm. She didn't want him anymore; he had really fucked up. They went to their table. Zach and Jared were on one side and Cole and Michelle on the other, but Cole ended up being across from Zach. The waitress came over and asked what everyone wanted.