- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Muswell Revisited
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Click hereEyes sting
below black water,
kneeling knee deep.
A soul weeps in baptismal
surrender.
Icy entity bestirs
susceptibility .
Candied krustallinos
drinks rogue angel.
__________________
- COMMENTS
Bill Dadaover 17 years agoI thought is was an amazingly dense short poem. My favorite lines:
"A soul weeps in baptismal
surrender."
BD
KOLKOREover 17 years agoI found the poem overburdened by unnecessarily
obscure language. The situation, naked and vulnerable called IMO for much simpler clearer language. Finally, I might have been able to find out how the poet meant to arrange for the: “Candied krustallinos” so that it: “drinks rogue angel”, but I gave up. This reader believes in language in the service of function. Up to that point language was over played over function. At the end my reservoir of “suspension of disbelief” mental energy ran out. I had to let the last line go.
I am sorry if speaking out in a manner that conveys some dissatisfaction offends anyone. It’s not meant to provoke or to offend anybody, only to convey in the most sincere way I know my view on the poem. Further, it comes from a stance, of desire to exchange opinions and learn. Whether it materializes or not I can’t tell, but this forum could take this function, as others in other sections in Lit. could prove.
