My Life, My Motherbypanditji©
Friends I am here with few stories, cannot really term them as stories, they are true incidents that rocked my world. I get confused looking back at the turn of events.
My wife eloped with me as she was shaken by the incest relationships flourishing behind strict iron curtain regime in her family. Just when we both were slowly pushing the past behind and looking forward, life did a full circle and sucked me into its vicious whirlpool of events. It is the best thing that happened in my life, yet there are questions that I cannot answer. I request my readers to refrain from being judgmental, nevertheless, they are free to form their opinion.
When you hate people for an act, there is a strong possibility that you yourself may be sucked into the very scenario leaving you confused about your own feelings for yourself.
I will begin with last event first.
I am 33 yr old married man and have a 4 year old son. Our family is of two sisters and two brothers, sisters are married and brother is living in Belgium with his wife. Me along with my wife and son live with my parents. I work with my dad. We have distributorship of various engineering products. We are quite well off and enjoy a respectable status that comes along being Brahmins. If you are not aware of the caste system in India allow me to enlighten you that Brahmins stay at upper most echelon of the casteist hierarchy.
It was fierce winters of December 2009; entire northern part of India was grinded to a halt due to low temps and fog. Every business was slow and so was ours. During this period my mother came up with her wish of visiting Tirupati and Rameshwaram and she wanted to be there on 15 January (an auspicious date in the Hindu calendar).
My father asked me to take her along on this pilgrimage as he himself wasn't well. I did not want to go. I am the one for a lot of travel, yet I had to surrender to the wishes of my parents. It was decided we will only start once weather let up a bit. In the entire course of the dilly dallying my wife chided me for avoiding my duties as a son.
We took train to Delhi and from there took Flight to Madurai in southern India. For last leg of our journey to Rameshwaram we decided to hire a car, which we kept with us for our entire tour.
Weather was nice and I did enjoy the excursion. We went to Rameshwaram and then to Tirupati where my mother asked me to take a head shave. I was enjoying the trip so I did not bother to ask why and just went ahead with her wish.
Tirupati was the last of the holy places mom planned to visit. So from Tirupati we began our journey back home. The car we hired from Madurai, took us to Bangalore.
We reached Bangalore by 4:30 PM and checked in Chancery Pavilion which happens to be my favorite due to its cuisine and bar. I was dying to end this spiritual trip and dip in to some minor sins. We checked into the room and after a quick shower I headed to the bar.
While leaving mom just quipped to be back early as she doesn't want to wake up and open the door. I took the keys and left on the trip to my world of temptations.
It was not as enjoying after the third Talisker. Once I got my nerves settled I started to miss my wife of 7 yrs. Basically I am a family man I enjoy being with my wife and kid so I started sulking. The single malt was not doing me any good in terms of mood uplift, so I decided against ordering another and called off the day with a frugal supper.
I called mom to see if she had her dinner and I was embarrassed to know that she is waiting for me to join her. I hurried up to the room and when entered using the key mom was no where to be seen. Mom was in shower, I could hear her chanting some religious hymn. I lazed on the couch and started flipping channels on the TV.
Ten minutes may have passed before I heard my mom calling, 'chinu (my pet name) can you pass me my nightie' I absent mindedly picked the garment from bed and walked up to the bathroom door and called. She opened the door and just shoved her hand through the crack. I reached up to hand it over, and then my world went upside down.
Bathroom was designed in the pattern where bath was on the left, once you enter and wash basin and the dresser were on right. Door was hinged on the left side of the frame so when the door opens completely bath stays partially obscured behind the door. But when mom open just a crack and hid herself behind, she was standing in front of full size mirror fitted on the dresser platform and me standing out had full access to her nude image in the mirror.
Now before I go any further let me describe my mother, she is around 60 for sure, exact age I do not know. She is not one of those drop dead gorgeous MILF who had retained pertness of her breasts and has a figure to kill for, like mothers in most of the fantasies. She is a typical Indian housewife with kids and grand kids, overweight by at least 15-18 lbs with huge breasts, fairly wide hips flaring in the shape of a pitcher, below her 'not so narrow', waist.
However, her waist did appear narrow when looked upon in relation to her ample bosom and an extra wide bottom. She stood tall at 5feet 5 inches, taller than an average Indian female. Ah! And one more thing she is extremely fair. Her complexion is like saffron in milk with a pinch of vermillion in it.
Standing there at the door, I saw her full nude in the mirror and was transfixed to that image. Her breasts were huge but surprisingly did not sag a lot. They were some what upturned. She was standing sideways; I could see her large pink areola topped with an erect nipple, thick and big as first digit of my thumb. Her midriff was fleshy and swelled, giving her a curvaceously sexy look, sloping and gently rising to form upper part of her pudenda which eventually disappeared amongst the 'v' of her thighs. Her thighs were big and fleshy but had shape to them. They were stout and tapering down beautifully just above the knee, like that of an athlete, and then lower legs with fleshy calves looked beautiful.
I was jolted out of my trans when she admonished ' what are you doing, hand it quick, I am freezing'. I hurriedly handed her the garment and went back to watch TV.
Now my thoughts were a mix of emotions, I was aroused and at the same time feeling guilty of harboring such thoughts about my own mother. Thinking sexually about your mother is gravest of the sin in our society. I was dying of that guilt and at the same time was unable to erase that image from my mind. It was like I exploded into two different personalities, good one is chiding me for being aroused looking at the nudity of my own mother and the evil one is taking its control over my mind and body and keeping me in a continuous state of arousal.
Guilt was unbearable and so was the desire, I was almost in tears. Before that moment mom was someone to be worshipped I never had any sexual feelings for her. It was unthinkable to me. The only ones I read were in the cheap sex books in vernacular language, and I dismissed them as fantasies of a diseased mind.
She came out of the bathroom wearing a sleeveless white cotton nightie. Other than the absence of sleeves it was a fairly conservative garment reaching down till her ankles. She looked beautiful in wet lose hair reaching middle of her back.
Looking at her I couldn't help imagining her nude self. She was not wearing any bra and her magnificent breasts swayed when she walked. She stood before the mirror in bedroom brushing her hair. Both of her arms were raised and with every stroke I was treated with savory sight of her breasts moving in unison with arms. Lamp over the mirror shed light on the front of her form, so when looked from behind her naked silhouette could be seen inside the garment.
I was brought back to reality when mom asked if I am going to order for dinner. She said she wants a light supper and even a salad with some juice will do. So I ordered salads and soup for both of us in the room itself.
We sat down having dinner and watching news. I was totally oblivious to my surroundings and was absentmindedly looking at the screen. I heard my mom say something, her voice appeared to be coming from a distance and I couldn't make out what she exactly said. This irritated her and she almost shouted in an agitated voice, 'you shouldn't be drinking so much that you cannot hear what is being said.'
It caught me unawares, I said 'oh! I am sorry amma, it is not the drink may be this journey has burned me out'. As I said I threw a glance towards her and lo, once again couldn't help noticing her cleavage that was visible through the neck of the garment. It was modest but showed a little as she had to bend forward a little to eat her soup. She wasn't wearing a bra, I noticed that soft flowing fabric was caressing her breasts outlining them well and her nipples were quite prominently impressed. I almost felt like slapping myself, no matter how much I tried I couldn't stop my self from ogling her.
She drew my attention towards the weather reports which showed intense cold wave over entire northern India with freezing temps and fog. Anchor said that majority of the airports remained closed due to poor visibility. There was news clip showing harried passengers stranded at Delhi airport. This gave me a chance and I said 'see this is what I warned you against, before we left, but you didn't listen'.
She replied ' chinu I made a vow to make pilgrimage to these holy places when I was praying for your life after the accident, even if you had refused to come along, I would have done it myself'. This embarrased me , I apologized to her.
I met with an accident when I slipped in bath and my head smacked the faucet. It was bad as I lost consciousness and silently bled almost to death. I was hospitalized and it was a fortnight before I recovered.
She got up and came to sit beside me, she smiled lovingly and pulled me to her. My head was resting on her ample bosom, for a moment I forgot the world around me and felt like a child once again. I hugged her and sobbed. She drew me tighter into her and comforted me with soothing words which I couldn't make out. She thought I am feeling guilty for making a rude statement about her visits, but I had an entirely different reason to cry for. I felt guilty for thinking sexually about my mother who had been so concerned about my well being.
After about ten minutes I regained my composure and became conscious of my where about. It is then I realized that I am resting on her organs of my new found passion. No matter how much I cursed myself, I couldn't help my arousal. My right cheek was resting just below her shoulder, from where flesh begins to rise gently. I opened my eyes and was greeted with the sight of her enormous cleavage. Her nightie was pulled down a bit and top of her breasts were exposed more than what neck of the garment usually allowed.
I was in a trance like condition, my right arm was around her back and I wrapped my left around the front of her, which took its course through the top and brushed her nipples. I held her right shoulder and let my arm loosely hang over her breasts. I was completely taken over by the intense desire, pushing sanity and virtues behind, I was about to put my lips on her cleavage when she suddenly but gently pushed me upright and said, 'OK chinu lets get done with the dinner and sleep as we have a long day ahead'. This got the evening to an end.
She went to bed and instantly started snoring. I played and replayed the entire episode of my moral decline in my head. Confused though I was but by now the good chinu was overpowered by the bad chinu and I resorted to masturbate thinking of her. I kept playing with my dick imagining her dripping wet and completely naked in the bathroom. When I realized I cannot hold back anymore, I got up to visit the bathroom and unload.
As I got up I threw a casual glance towards amma what I saw chilled me to the bone, there she was lying on her right, and her nightie was hiked all the way up to where those mammoth thighs were ending in to her big rounded hip. Her left leg was bent from the knee and thighs were at right angle to her body. Entire leg was open to my eyes with rounding white butt just peeping from underneath the comforter.
I realized that it was warm due to the room heating and she in her sleep threw the comforter away.
I stood transfixed, slowly my hand found my dick and I started to jack off there itself looking at my mother's nudity. I didn't realize how close I am to the bed till I started to shoot. My eyes were closed and despite my efforts to muffle, an animal grunt left my mouth. When satiated I became immediately worried about my proximity to the bed. I was wondering if my jism landed on her, thought gave me an erotic feeling of having my sperm on my mother's body and at the same time got me a shade worried.
I thought against switching on the lights and opened the bathroom door instead. Light from the bathroom spilled in the room and I could see few drops lying on her right inner thighs. I mulled over the options available, one try to wipe it and risk her waking up and finding me in a difficult situation, two just leave it there it will dry out and she wouldn't notice in the morning.
My dark desire of running hand on her thighs made me overlook the risk. I picked up a face towel and knelt beside her on the ground. I gently swabbed the spot, while I was doing it I felt a strange aroma, fragrance of a woman's vagina is no news to me but this was an intense musk with a hint of some perfume. I think she uses some sort of scent on her pubic region to kill odor of sweat and slime. I sat there for long inhaling that sweet arousing aroma.
By now I was completely overtaken by desire to copulate with my own mother. Strangely I was not feeling dirty; I looked upon her as a heavenly being with whom I yearned to engage in sex with purity akin to worship. The contradiction between social norms, relationship and desire to achieve final frontiers of human love remained, but with a feeling which I cannot describe.
I dozed off sitting there, I do not recall what woke me up but when I did wake up I saw her lying straight with her left leg completely exposed up to the top of her thighs and right a little below the region thighs meet pelvis. Her breasts were mountains of flesh drooping to their sides. It was a sight to behold; I stood there soaking up the beauty and after a while decided to go to bed.
On the bed it wasn't easy to catch sleep. I was thinking once we get back home this will be over. I would never find her alone, and such peeps would be difficult if not impossible.
I desperately wanted to spend few more days away from home to bring this to a conclusion. I thought of the possibility of taking a circuitous route siting bad weather and availability of flights and then may be I will get to spend couple of more nights with amma in a hotel. Doing all these permutations and combinations I went off to sleep.
I woke up in the morning to see my mother giving final touches to her saree. She was looking radiant in white silk with blood red border. My eyes instantly went to her breasts hidden beneath folds of silk. Their shape could be seen well outlined in her blouse. I guess she uses wired uplifting bras that are a size smaller than what actually fits.
Never before I had such minutely observed her bust, but now that I am doing I can see that she takes good care of her assets. Her breasts were upright and tightly encased giving them an erotic rounded appearance. I sighed and started to get ready.
We had the Hotel car to drop us at the airport. There to our utter dismay we found out that our Jet flight was cancelled. We enquired from the staff about possibility of boarding any other flight, but they were unable to give us any confirmed response.
I called up my father and made him aware of the situation. He is a bit of a paranoid when it comes to safety, he point blank told me to take the refund and stay put till weather clears up. Dad's instructions to us were clear; do not take chances, he advised me against city hopping in order to get home. By the time I had gone through all the airline counters it was already 5 PM and I was dead tired.
An elderly lady at Indian Airline counter advised me to book seats after 3 days. She said the forecast is that weather is not lifting before that. There may be flights now and then but the rush of passengers and uncertain schedules will force us to be at the Airport the entire day with no surety of getting confirmed, we may end up doing it every day till we manage to board. I took her advise and booked us for the suggested dates, we got wait listed tickets but the lady assured to do her best to get us seats.
I came and told my mother the entire story she had a resigned look on her face. I said 'c'mon amma we are not stranded in a jungle with no food and water, we are at Bangalore, lets enjoy till we are here'.
She got up from the lounge chair with a groan complaining about aching back and asked me to call up the hotel to see if they can accommodate us. I did and hotel confirmed that they can sure take us in, they told us to stay at the airport, and one of their cars is making a drop and will ask the driver to bring us back.
When we reached our room it was past 8 PM and both, me and amma, were at the end of our wits. After taking shower I sought her permission to leave the room for a while, she smiled and said ok but do not get drunk, I Promised I wouldn't and left.
In the bar I chose Irish Bushmill over my regular, as it is smoky and strong, which I needed to clear my head. After few drinks I was mulling over what to do about my desire to have intercourse with amma. Even though everything went as I had dreamt but I did not have a clue as to how I shall approach the subject. Thinking and making plans A, B, C...and so on I ended up with a drink more than I had planned. I ordered for the last one and resigned from making plans as none seem to be even remotely realistic and happening.
I reached room to find amma lazing on the bed watching TV, she was wearing a sleeveless nightie that was drawn up to level of her knees. Mix of alcohol and her skin got me extremely hot and bothered. I ordered for dinner and sat down on the couch across the bed. She was busy watching TV and I kept soaking her beauty.
When the door bell rang and I got up to open she jumped off the bed went straight to the bathroom. After the room service left I told her to come out, which is when it dawned on me why she did not want the waiter to see her. The nightie she was wearing was reaching just few inches below her knee but had a wide round neck with sleeveless shoulders. Since she was still wearing bra she was showing an ample cleavage. It wasn't exposing by any standards but for a conservative Indian mother it sure wasn't modest.
She caught my eyes and explained 'All others were dirty, we have to call for laundry tomorrow'.
I said 'it is ok amma'.
After we had our dinner she told me to call room service and ask them to clear the room tomorrow not tonight. I did what was told and went in to the bath to change into comfortable Bermudas for bed.
Coming into the room I noticed that she had taken off her bra and was stuffing it in the laundry hamper. As I crossed in front I looked into her dress and was greeted with a heavenly view of her hanging breasts. I could see deep inside through her neck up till the flab on her belly. But then it ended there itself , with no sure way of broaching the subject. Unlike the stories I read on net, I did not take her attire or her demeanor to be an invitation. It for sure did not suggest so and I did not have the courage to take the cue and proceed. So I decided to rest my nuts and thought against torturing me by looking and imagining.