My Secret Shame

Following me around
24/7
No longer can I hide from how it makes me feel
So alone and afraid
Living in a neverending fear that one day soon
Someone will find out
Someone will expose
For all the world to see
In all it's awful nightmare color
My secret shame

Tried so very hard to escape
To run away from what I did
So long ago when I was young and stupid
Too much
So much in love with
All I could think about was him
Just wanted to live happily ever after with my Prince Charming
Realizing too late that he would never ever feel the same
I had went too far to ever to take it back
Now I pray that when others look at me they don't see this sin in my guilty eyes
My cross to bear
My secret shame

Never meant to hurt him or anyone else
I just wanted to be happy
I wanted us to be happy
Together forever
Without that witch I called the other woman
In our cozy picture made just for 2
But it was't to be
Shattered
When my love called to tell me
Stay away forever I don't and never will want you
Now I hide away in my heart the horror of that day
Praying with all that I have inside of me that never will they share with anyone else
The nightmare I live everyday
The nightmare of my secret shame

Painful
Hellish
Blushing to the roots of my hair
Shaking whenever I see his name on my caller id
Trembling
Knowing that my whole future rests in his hands
Threated so very often
I can barely hold back the tears of my greatest fears
Dark and depressed
Sometimes I don't even feel like living
Eyeing razor blades and bottles of pills with a growing joy
I begin to think that maybe....
Just maybe I can escape finally from
This heartache stalking me night after night
The agony I can share with no else but me, myself and cry
It is......

My secret shame

© 2006 RAMONA THOMPSON (All rights reserved)