You aren't here today and its left me thinking about when you are here. When you will get home and what that means. Its hard to know if you feel the same way as I do and all I want is too make you see me.
There's things I want to be for you. I sit here thinking of all the ways I can be shiny, clean and new again - as if through sheer will power alone I can be who I want you to see.
I am not the squeaky clean girl who can offer herself up to you like she is a virgin waiting to be cherished. I am tarnished, used, craving you in ways that a virgin couldn't ever understand.
I have been a naughty girl, done naughty things and said some very nasty words to please. For you I want to be sunshine and sweetness.
Sitting here in my bed I start to think about the ways I could please you, bring you breakfast in bed, welcome you when you come home at last after all your travels, bear you fresh faced cherubim whom we dote upon and adore.
My hand slips down my pants as soon as I think about you and the life we should have together. The times we have played and discussed bathing together, making soft sweet love and whispering sweet nothings in each others ears.
Who are you that makes a dirty whore want to change into a devoted wife? The frenzied lover that once craved whips and chains now can't stop thinking of cuddles and caresses as we explore each others bodies, guiding each other gently to oblivion.
In my fantasies I call you Daddy and you administer me a spanking when I let you down, I'm not allowed to suck your cock when I have been a bad girl. There is nothing I desire more than to rest between your thighs and suckle you, pleasuring you and kissing your cock - teaching you my own little deviancies but not so much that you wouldn't want me anymore. I don't want you to think I am dirty and used, I want to be squeaky clean for you.
You might ask me 'why Daddy?' and my answer is multiple and singular at once. Because you make me feel beautiful, clean and pure - I am devoted to you and will be as long as you want me. First love belongs to a little girls daddy, I want you to be mine.
Shall I shave off all my hair, scrub my flesh until its raw and vow to keep my fingers from succumbing to the pleasures of flesh - all so that for you I am made new? If you asked it of me I would do it.
Everything about you is white and pure, its new and fresh. Your fantasies so harmless and easy to fill, I want to fill your thoughts with all the wicked things you could do to me.
I want to be sex to you. I need you to want me, to crave me, to think of the wet warmth between my thighs and grow aroused. Touch yourself and think of me. Jerk your shaft until you explode in long thick ropes of desire...
then take my head and lovingly caress it while I lick you clean. The tip of my tongue near worshipping your cum as I greedily lick it off, savouring the salty sweet flavour of your manhood. From between your legs I would look up to you, feel your hand running through my hair affectionately and rub my cheek against your palm.
You have bewitched and beguiled me, I ache for you and pine when you aren't here. I starve myself of sex, the lust filling me until I am reignited - it wasn't so very long ago that I thought I was tired of it - beyond the desire. A willing repository who took no pleasure in it.
But you, oh you, you opened the gates that had been closed.. All I want is too be your girl, to feel your touch and know your kiss. A gentle yet firm and commanding love.
I want to be squeaky clean for you to sully.
If I could I would rewrite my history and give my every first to you. There are firsts there that we can find together but in the end the only one that counts is the first you inspired with your gentle presence.
I want to be yours, clean and pure.
When you are ready for me, please come and find me, I am waiting and will remain waiting until you rise me to my feet with your gentle hands. Ignite my flames with your vanilla love in ways that the others never could.
Already yours, lovingly.