Not So Private Dancer.

"NO!"

"John, please..."

"NO! How many times do I have to say it? NO... NO... NO!"

"John, I'm in a bind," my sister, Lana whined.

"I don't care. There's no way, I'm not gonna do it, so you may as well save your breath."

"But you've done it before," she reasoned.

"No I haven't, besides, that was over eight years ago."

When I was younger, and much stupider, is stupider really a word? Anyway, when I was younger, I thought I was hot shit. As a hot shit young stud, my not so developed brain told me I could be an erotic dancer. Ha! What a joke that turned out to be. At the audition, I looked like a plow horse in a room full of thoroughbreds. I bucked like a wild bronco, while the others danced like Royal Lipizzaner stallions. My dancing career lasted exactly fifteen minutes.

That audition gave me a double dose of reality, and it was just what I needed. It's been eight years, and I'm now completing my residency as a physician. How my sister found out about that audition is anyone's guess.

"Johnny, damn it, the bachelorette party is in two hours and I don't have a dancer."

"I'd have thought you'd have taken care of that little detail before now."

"I did, but he got arrested," she pouted.

"Arrested? Jeez, Lana," I rolled my eyes.

"It's not like that John, it was a warrant for parking tickets," she explained.

"Well, bail him out."

"We tried John, but it's Friday and he doesn't see the judge until Monday."

"He'll be popular in the drunk tank," I laughed.

"John, this isn't helping. What am I going to do?"

"Shit Lana, why ask me?"

"Come on John, Lis is your sister too. If you won't do it for me, do it for her."

"That's low, even for you Lana. Shit, you know how much I love you both, but this is asking too much," I said shaking my head.

"Johnny," her eyes begged me.

"Why don't you reschedule, or better yet, go to one of the clubs that already has a dancer?" I suggested.

"We already paid for the private club, it cost me five hundred dollars," she pled.

"Man, it sucks to be you."

"Asshole," she pouted some more.

"Hey, there's no need for name calling," I scolded.

"I'm sorry John, but I'm out of options. I wanted everything to be perfect. A girl only gets married once... Well, it's her first wedding anyway. The white gown, the church..."

"Why don't you get Harry to do it? He's your husband, I'll bet you could talk him into it," I volunteered.

"Oh right, I might as well ask Dad too. I love Harry and all, but you've never seen him without clothes... Come on John," she continued to beg.

"This is crazy Lana, everyone would recognize me if I did it."

Her eyes brightened, she knew she had me now. I'd said "if", it was just a matter of time until she wore me down. "No they wouldn't, you could wear a mask or a fake beard," she reasoned.

"I... still don't know. Don't you think it's kind of sick? I mean, having your brother..."

"I know what you're thinking, and no it's not. At least as long as no one knows, and besides, it's not like you're going to have sex with her. It'll be just a little harmless touching and maybe a lap dance..."

"Whoa, whose idea is the lap dance?" I asked.

"You can do this John, I know you can. It's just going to be a few close friends. Just a few minutes out of your life to make your little sister's wedding experience perfect."

This was among the stupider, did I already ask you if that was a real word? Forget it, things I'd ever considered. I could see the whole thing playing out in my mind. I just knew things were going to go haywire and I was going to be the one that was blamed for ruining my sister Lisa's life. It wouldn't matter that Lana was the instigator. I still can't believe that she talked me into this.

With less than two hours 'til show time, I headed to the adult video store for a few items. I would need a disguise, something to hide my face at least, and I would need a thong. I figured if I showed enough skin, none of the horny women would look at my face anyway.

My whole costume fit in a small, and I do mean small, bag. A fake moustache, a mask that was nothing more than a Do-rag with eyeholes, and a very brief black thong. I hoped I would come off as a sort of stripped down version of Zorro, without the sword and horse of course.

On the drive to the club, my stomach was doing cartwheels. I was having very serious doubts about even being able to walk out on the stage. My plan was to go on fast and circulate through the small crowd. Lana had said there would only be a few close friends. I would bump a little here, and grind a little there. Touch a few girls' cheeks, and get the hell out of there.

Lana met me at the back door of the club. With my little bag in hand, I entered the dingy dressing room. It was more of a broom closet than anything. There wasn't even a mirror, so Lana helped me glue the moustache on straight. She tied the knot on the mask and adjusted it, I felt like a little kid at Halloween, however, the trick or treat process would be substantially modified.

I started to remove my shirt and Lana watched with interest, "I think I can take it from here."

"A little modest are we?" she smiled.

"Hey, I don't see you taking off any of your clothes, so what's this we shit? At least turn around so I can squeeze into this slingshot."

For all of you guy's that have never worn this type of garment, well, it ain't all that comfortable. As men, we spend half our lives trying to keep our underwear out of the crack of our ass; well this little thing was designed to be there.

"Wow! Not bad little bro," Lana smiled.

"Perv!"

"If I would have known that's what was in the next bedroom when I was a teenager..." she teased.

"Don't even say it. I don't want to know," I chided.

"Oh come on John, don't tell me that you never thought about it. Lis is a total babe and I wasn't too bad myself back then."

"Knock it off Lana, I'm this close to chickening out," I said, with my thumb and forefinger held tightly together.

"Ok, but just so you know, I did think about it, you know, you and me..."

Jeezus, how the hell was I supposed to get my head around this revelation? Up to now, I thought I had a normal family... Shit, who am I trying to kid? Of course I thought about Lana, and Lisa too for that matter. Oh, and lets not forget about Aunt Helen, my mom's younger sister. At least Mom was never involved in one of my fantasy fuckfests.

"Here, drink this," Lana handed me a triple tequila, "A little liquid courage."

I downed it in one swallow, it burned all the way to my toes.

She kissed me on the cheek; "I'll never forget this."

"Oh yes you will, I don't ever want to hear a word of this, not ever," I said seriously.

She pinched my ass and left to join the crowd. Well, this was it, the moment of truth. Maybe I should slip out the back, "Run John run." Oh just do it, how bad could it be?

Well, let me tell you how bad it was. When I jumped out on stage, those few close friends turned into about fifty half drunk screaming women. The lights were bright, but I spotted Lana giving me a thumb's up. I tried to remember my old routine, "Ha, what routine," I never had a set dance. The music was loud, Joan Jett I think.

What the fuck was I doing there? "Shake your ass John, do something you idiot". I cleared the voices from my head and shook my booty. I could hear hoots and screams; maybe I was doing ok. Hey this isn't so hard, move your arms a little.

The music changed, "I'm too sexy for my..." GOD NO! I hate this song. The DJ wasn't going to make this easy. I was struttin' my stuff, I swear I was trying to make it look like I had a clue. The sweat was making my skin glisten, the girls were getting louder. I heard someone yell. "Take it off!"

"Hey this isn't so bad," I thought as a few dollar bills were thrown onto the stage. I quickly got the hang things and picked up a couple of dollars and stuffed them in my thong. This really stirred the girls up, as a few actually came close to the stage to insert the money themselves.

I worked the crowd shaking my butt back and forth across the small stage, then came more girls with more money. More grinding, a few hip thrusts, "Lose the scrotum wrap," I heard. I grabbed my bulge and shook it at the crowd.

It was time for a little payback, Lana was going to get the first lap dance. When the music changed, I stepped off the stage and went straight for her. She tried to pull away, but there was no way I was going to be denied. With big sister parked on a chair at center stage, the room went crazy. I could barely hear the music over the cheers when I started to rub my bare skin on Lana.

Lana shot me a dirty look that just fueled the fire. As you may have guessed by now, I was more than a little excited. In the skimpy thong, it was apparent to all the hungry eyes in the house just how excited I was. I wasn't sure how far I was willing to go, but Lana got up close and personal with my package. My semi- erection was millimeters from her mouth. Would she? Thank God she didn't.

We were both reprieved from what might have happened when another woman came up on stage. I felt her hands on my ass and saw a fifty dollar bill wave in front of my eyes. For fifty, this woman deserved a little attention of her own. Lana made a hasty retreat as I turned and planted a kiss on the generous woman. We kissed hard and I almost shit when my aunt shoved the bill down the front of my thong.

I was shaken, but she hadn't recognized me. It was time to get Lis up on the stage and get this over with while my sanity was still intact. Lis was easier to get onstage than Lana. I chose to keep her standing as I shimmied around her.

Lis started to dance with me, who'd a thunk it. By now the music was no more than a thump over the cheers and whistles. Lis ground her ass on my crotch, God did she have any idea what, or who, she was doing. On the spur of the moment I removed her skirt, we were both wearing similar thongs. I seized the opportunity and put some of the tip money in her panties.

Lis went nuts and became the main attraction, man that girl can move. A few of the other girls joined us on stage, and clothes began to fly. I wasn't sure but I'd almost swear that I saw Mom taking off her blouse. I had to get the hell out while the getting was good. I inched my way toward the curtain, the party was getting out of hand. I was almost there when I was grabbed and a tongue was shoved into my mouth.

I tried to focus on the face that was pressed so tightly against mine. Who the hell was it? The kiss was amazingly familiar. I ruled out Lisa, she had found the stripper pole and was hanging upside down removing her bra. It wasn't Aunt Helen, the tits pressing into my chest weren't big enough. This chick was way too tall to be Lana, oh God tell me it wasn't my Mom.

Just so you don't misinterpret my comment, I have never, until the last hour, been aware of any incestuous tendencies regarding my family. Any such incidences have been purely of a fabricated nature. I am neither aware of nor will I acknowledge any such behavior by other members of my immediate family. Any rumors herewith are false or quite openly coincidental.

Whew! Not Mom, but man what a kisser. When she broke the kiss, she whispered into my ear. "I love your tattoo, John."

I smiled, instantly recognizing the woman in my arms. So there is no further confusion, I have a tattoo. It's not the usual type worn by so many younger people today. Mine is small by comparison, about the size of a dime and easily mistaken for a small birthmark on the left cheek of my ass.

The mark in question is a small cherry. The amazingly familiar kisser shares the same small artwork on her equally amazing derriere. The significance, we had them done the day after we had given each other our cherries back in high school. She was my first.

"Lesley," I breathed.

"You remembered," she whispered.

I peeled away the phony facial hair and gave her a proper hello. Our lips met again, now fully aware of the other. The passion felt so many years ago, still evident and so real. A kiss can be an innocuous act, or like this one, can convey ten thousand words. Lord how I missed her.

Remembering where we were, I pulled her to me and we got the hell off the stage. Safely in the broom... ah... er... dressing room, I peeled away the mask. She whisked away her top, hmmm, so this was her game. I had little left to trade, but soon dangled the tiny Lycra triangle from my finger. Her skirt and panties were on the floor a second later.

I'm embarrassed to say that our first time together in over ten years was not like the stuff they write in romance novels. We screwed like bunnies. It was fast, not so romantic, loud and yes, we both wanted it just that way. It seemed like a reminder of better times, just the way we parted when her family moved shortly after graduation.

The party was still going when we slipped out the back. I still have a hard time believing that things had ended on a high note. I hoped it was the type of party that Lis wanted to remember twenty years down the road.

Lesley and I had a lot of years to talk about, most of mine could be explained by two words, medical school. I wanted to hear everything about her, every detail. Hell, I didn't even know if she was married, fine time to think about that, huh. We ended up at the waffle house, it was an old joke we shared. We made waffles every chance we could back in high school, hot, sticky, sweet and satisfying.

We sat on the same side of the booth and shared the same plate, just like we did years before. We talked like it had only been yesterday since we'd last been together.

"So, you went to medical school to become a stripper?" Lesley teased.

"Hey, I only stripped for you," I shot back.

"Yes you did, and I loved it," she conceded.

"Just so you know, I'm available for exclusive parties. I dance privately only for discriminating clients such as yourself. I can be had, but I'm not cheap."

"What would such an engagement cost?" she asked mockingly.

"A kiss," I said, looking deep into her eyes. We shared that kiss, a mapely sweet lingering kiss. "Mmm, John," she said with our lips still touching.

"Yes?" I questioned, not breaking the kiss.

"People are staring."

"Let 'em, their just jealous," I wrapped my arms around her and kissed that much harder.

We finally broke apart. We drank coffee and talked until I worked up the nerve to ask about her life. Actually she broached the subject first. It seems funny how we could have sex after so many years without a word, but it became awkward to talk about other relationships.

"Your sister tells me that you're still single," she probed.

"Yeah, been kind of busy with school and all, you know," I lied, I never found anyone to compare with her, "How 'bout you?"

"Married."

My heart sank to the floor, I was hoping... I just wasn't expecting.

"Actually, divorced," she continued, "I have a daughter, she's six."

I couldn't help but smile, "I'm sorry, uh... about the divorce, I mean," I said, trying not to sound stupid.

"I know what you meant, it doesn't matter. I'm not sorry," she replied.

"What happened?" I kicked myself for asking as soon as the words left my mouth.

"The truth?" she looked at me with sad eyes, "He never was the man I wanted. He was a substitute for someone that wasn't there anymore, but..."

Lesley and I had only been reunited, and I use that word loosely, for a few hours. I started to see something happening that I hoped she'd share. I never really got over her, and if I was reading her right, she felt the same. I wanted to take it slowly and find out.

We spent the rest of the night and a good portion of the morning riding around the old town. We talked a lot, we got over the uncomfortable hump. Both of us had questions about how we'd been torn from each others arms and had really done nothing to stop it. We finally concluded that at the time we were both powerless to stop it.

Lesley had flown in from Atlanta for Lisa's wedding as a bridesmaid, but it became clear that she came to see me. Was I flattered? Oh hell yeah, I was ecstatic. I wondered if my sisters actually had a hand in all of this, not that I minded. I was reluctant to go home, but still I parted with Lesley at about four A.M. I promised to pick her up at eleven.

Why not stay with her, I asked myself. We wouldn't have gotten any sleep was my answer. There would be a full day of wedding related activities, we both would need the rest. I managed a few hours of sleep at Lana's house before she burst into my room.

"Wake up stud," Lana chirped.

Rubbing my eyes I asked, "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get your ass out of bed."

"No, really what time is it?" I sat up.

"Eleven thirty," she said looking at her watch.

"Oh shit, Lesley!" I said scrambling to get up.

"What is it John?" I heard Les's voice.

She came into the room from behind Lana. I was relieved beyond words. I threw back the covers and waited for Les to crawl into bed with me. She snuggled closely, and I kissed her, morning breath and all. Lana stood there with a smirk on her face.

"Are you going to stay and watch?" I asked.

"Ooh, that might be fun," she purred.

I was really starting to wonder if my big sister had a significant kinky streak running down her back. I decided to call her bluff, hoping that it was in fact a bluff, "If you're gonna stay, you could at least close the door."

Her hand went for the knob, and then she hesitated. For a full ten second she looked like she was considering my offer. Oh Jeez, I didn't want to know what she was thinking. Lesley looked back and forth like she was following a tennis match, one face then the other. Who would flinch first, which gunslinger was quickest on the draw.

My heart started to beat again when she finally backed out of the door.

"What the hell was that all about?" Lesley asked.

"I don't know if I could explain it even if I wanted to, which I don't," I added.

This was kind of a first for Lesley and I, making waffles in bed. I excused myself to pee and brush my teeth at least, I didn't want her to think me a total pig. When I returned she had stripped and was stretching her nude body. The sun bathed her in an eerie glow that made her all the more beautiful.

We took our time and explored all that each other had to give. It was the complete opposite of the previous night. It was slow and easy, there was passion and romance. We were silent and oh so very intimate. We made up for all the lost days and years that we had been apart. Lesley was more than willing and adventurous, I in turn worshiped her. These few hours more than made up for all the lonely nights that I'd spent without her in my arms.

In the after glow, we cuddled as Lesley slept. I was about to nod off myself when the door burst open for the second time that day.

"John, please tell me it didn't happen," said a very upset and agitated Lisa. She was pacing and wringing her hands.

"Ok, it didn't happen," I told her without knowing what the hell she was referring to.

She continued to pace back and forth, "Lana just told me... Oh Jeezus this can't be happening. What am I going to... Hi Les... Do?" She asked.

"Do about what?" I asked.

"About what! Damn it Johnny, if anyone finds out it was you... Oh shit, oh dear,"

Well at least now I know that Lisa has a little different slant on life than Lana, "Calm down for Christ sake. Just get a hold of yourself, sit down and take a deep breath," I told her patting the side of the bed.

Lisa did as I'd told her and sat on the edge of the bed, "Ooh, I love your earrings," she told Lesley.

God it amazes me how a woman's mind works.

"Thank you," replied Les.