- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Numbness
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Sadness is not the root of this;
Sadness is a feeling
And there is none in my soul.
The fragrance of joy has departed
With the bitterness of anger;
I touch neither hope nor despair.
Blood will prove existence.
Let it rise, seep, flow and
Possibly tears of life will follow.
- COMMENTS
SweetOblivionover 11 years agoIt has a certain emphatic and potentially hypnotic quality. You possibly need to explore the words you use to enforce that quality and to make the reader stick with you to the end. Sweet O.
Desejoover 11 years agoThis is nice. I like the use of taste and smell and touch (fragrance of joy , bitterness of anger, touch hope/despair) - especially when juxtaposed against the title. The word "soul" is often overused, though I understand why you chose it. The poem would be just as strong, without it. Consider "and I feel none". The last stanza is puzzling, because there is nothing that leads up to it. Blood flow how? from where? Given your user name, I can extrapolate...but in another setting (eg. outside lit) it would be unlikely that readers would get that. And besides, I could be wrong. In any case, good work and I hope to read more of you.
