Numbness

Poem Info
52 words
3.5
1.7k
0
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

Sadness is not the root of this;
Sadness is a feeling
And there is none in my soul.

The fragrance of joy has departed
With the bitterness of anger;
I touch neither hope nor despair.

Blood will prove existence.
Let it rise, seep, flow and
Possibly tears of life will follow.

Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
4 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
WHY IS YOUR SOUL

so empty of a know angst, TK U MLJ LV NV

SweetOblivionSweetOblivionover 11 years ago
A good start

It has a certain emphatic and potentially hypnotic quality. You possibly need to explore the words you use to enforce that quality and to make the reader stick with you to the end. Sweet O.

DesejoDesejoover 11 years ago

This is nice. I like the use of taste and smell and touch (fragrance of joy , bitterness of anger, touch hope/despair) - especially when juxtaposed against the title. The word "soul" is often overused, though I understand why you chose it. The poem would be just as strong, without it. Consider "and I feel none". The last stanza is puzzling, because there is nothing that leads up to it. Blood flow how? from where? Given your user name, I can extrapolate...but in another setting (eg. outside lit) it would be unlikely that readers would get that. And besides, I could be wrong. In any case, good work and I hope to read more of you.