On Being a Busty Feminist Slut

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It has been an almost exclusively positive experience writing for Literotica so far. I'm so glad I finally starting writing my own stories after years of only reading and anonymously commenting. I've had more feedback than I expected, and as such I've started to notice some trends in some of the questions and comments I get.

Along with compliments and constructive criticism, there are two very common responses. The first is "are you anything like the girls you write about?". The second is "you write like a dude". I actually find both of these things very loaded and extremely interesting and they're very much tied to things I am either very interested in or feel quite strongly about. So let's tackle those things one at a time. Be careful, I expect a lot of tangents.

The first tangent relates to the "type of girls I write about" in the physical sense. So often I hear the term "unrealistic" used to describe a girl with very large breasts with a relatively thin waist. I take issue with that term. I think "uncommon" is a far more fair word to use.

Just like women should never be shamed for being flat or short or tall or heavy, the same goes for women of my body type. In fact, big boobs and a small waist is so synonymous with the "unrealistic" body type now that I find myself worse off for it in terms of the judgement I receive. From my experience, men tend to assume I'm stupid and entitled, and women tend to assume I'm shallow and slutty (although the latter shouldn't be a negative thing, but more on that later). This is all because of the way I naturally look.

My breasts are also constantly "accused" of being implants by other women. My breasts are natural, but I don't think a woman should be shamed for implants either. We have a hard enough time not being taking seriously by men and being shamed by them, we shouldn't have to have a civil gender war. Implants -- like our makeup and clothes -- are not in existence for the sake of men. Sure, it's nice to be noticed by other people and obviously that's part of it (for some more than others) but that is not the driving force behind trying to look nice or being in control of looking the way I want to look.

I'm aware that the following story is only anecdotal evidence, but it's a common experience for me. I had some free time this afternoon and decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and take a walk around downtown of the fairly large city in which I live.

Now, while I identify as straight -- I've only ever been with men and so far the idea of a relationship with another woman hasn't interested me -- I do find myself checking out women as often as men. And, you know, for an "unrealistic body size" I sure saw a lot of crazy-big boobs on small bodies today. Many of whom also had very attractive faces. And while I'm not really familiar with how implants look, I am familiar with how natural breasts look, and my guess is that not very many of the pairs I saw in my relatively short walk were fake.

I haven't always been, but these days I'm very happy with the way I look. However, I agree that there is not an ultimate or ideal body type and that we should only aspire to look the way we want to look. Whatever makes us feel comfortable and happy and healthy. But gals, if we're in this together (and I'd like to think we are), we ALL have to be in this together. Sure it's frustrating that the media idolizes a certain body type, but that doesn't mean that women who actually HAVE that body type should be shamed for it.

Whew! There's one major tangent out of the way. Now, having said all that, it is far more true that the type of women I tend to write about ARE very unrealistic in terms of their behaviour and certainly the situations I put them in range from highly implausible to literally impossible.

With all that as set-up, my answer to the initial question of "are you anything like the girls you write about?" is a resounding "absolutely". And the answer is also "definitely not at all".

Physically I am short and thin and very busty. Anybody who has read my stories will recognize that body type. Yet, hopefully anybody reading this can discern that I'm also not a raging idiot like most of the women in my stories. So now we get closer to the seemingly contradictory (but actually not-at-all) title of this essay. I consider myself to be quite strong and bright, and while I'm certainly a feminist (as anybody should be really, the definition is literally "equality"; it's not a dirty word), my sexual fantasies tend to revel in me being submissive, playing dumb, being taken advantage of, and being called names.

At this point, it's very important that I frame context around those preferences of mine. Context is a supremely important thing that most people seem to forget about around these sorts of topics. I think that in reality, taking advantage of women or degrading them is unacceptable behaviour. To truly feel that women are inferior -- sexually or otherwise -- is sexism in its most base form. However, with a consensual respectful lover, these can be fun and cathartic roles to play. My sexual partner doesn't have to genuinely think I'm a useless whore to call me one in bed. In fact, I would argue that NOT exploring these fantasies in a healthy way is a way more likely way to turn the fantasies into actual unhealthy thoughts. With the right person, sex can be a safe and fun way to live out really depraved ideas.

And because my stories are just stories and just fantasy (as I like to point out over and over again), I don't need the framing and context of a real-life human relationship. I can just present the characters as characters. They don't need to be characters participating in consensual fiction because it is already fiction. It's another form of catharsis for me.

While some busty girls are late bloomers, that was not the case for me. I started developing breasts and growing pubic hair very early (I had just turned 9). Thankfully, my parents handled it very well for a young me who was not emotionally ready for my maturing body. Not-so-thankfully, other of the adult "role models" in my life were more interested in my body than in my healthy development as a human being. Luckily, I have no true horror stories like way-too-many other women do, but I was certainly forced to grow up faster in some ways than I would have preferred. I know these things have an effect on my sexuality. But I used to be ashamed of my large breasts. I used to feel self-conscious and embarrassed by them. I used to think I was fucked up for the fantasies that went on in my head. Now I have power over them. I know how to deal with my complicated relationship with my body and childhood in healthy ways.

I guess those fantasies of mine have something to do with why so many people tend to think I "write like a dude", but I suspect it has more to do with that topic of "slut" that I wanted to return to. My desperate defence of the word "slut" as a descriptor -- not an insult -- is actually tightly tied to my beliefs as a feminist. Luckily I'm not the only one, and SlutWalk is a worldwide cause that sums up a lot of my thoughts on the matter.

Far too often as women, our own sexuality is used against us. We're made to feel ashamed for being sexual. It's the origin of the Madonna/Whore complex (men who think the woman who they own a house with and raise children with has to be different from the woman they fuck the shit out of in depraved ways). It's the reason for the double standard that makes men heroes for sleeping around while making women chastised for having the same habits.

Not to say that all women should be fucking everything they see, but rather that women's sexuality is as varied and valid as men's sexuality. There's nothing wrong with the woman who waits for marriage, and there's nothing wrong with the woman who sucks a different dick every night (provided the latter case is very careful with safety and communication. Condoms for blowjobs are okay, folks!)

So I think it is because I am a proud slut that I give off the impression that I "write like a dude". It is such an unfortunately common thing for men (and women) to expect men to be the perverts and women to want the careful caresses and romance. Certainly there are many cases of both men and women wanting all sorts of degrees of both those things.

So I guess this essay exists to give some detailed insight to the plentiful number of people who ask those common questions and let both men and women know that there is certainly such a thing as a busty feminist slut.

So fellow ladies, don't disrespect other women for their sexual choices or their bodies or their clothing. That's what's wonderful about this world, everybody is so gloriously different. Just because someone does something drastically different than you doesn't mean that either what they choose OR what you choose is wrong.

And men, don't disrespect women.

...Unless she explicitly asks you to within a safe well-established frame of rules under an understood fantasy.

Also men, just because sluts definitely exist and should exist does not mean any girl you see or interact with is EVER your property. Just because I love to suck cock and drink cum and talk dirty definitely does NOT mean that my body belongs to you or that I am worth less than you. Take a hard look at your beliefs. I'd recommend really being secure in the thought that us women are your sexual equals before being okay with pretending we're not in any sexual fun.

That felt good! Hopefully it shreds some light on my subject matter and writing style. Please leave any discussion in the comments respectful, whether or not you're agreeing with me or anybody else.

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Naughty_MommieNaughty_Mommieover 3 years ago

I guess I’m late to discovering you and your writing. I’m glad I read this and got to know a little of the author behind the stories. You are right in about many things. Although I don’t date men anymore, I still enjoy the idea of being objectified consensually. When I dress sexy it is indeed to get a reaction from others because sometimes I enjoy attention. I have a hard time acting dumb though. Just don’t like giving up that control. Thank you for your stories. I’ve been absorbing all of them.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Feminism is not about equality.

Yeah, as it says in the title, feminism is not about equality. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Here are some observations to support that statement:

1: Feminists only ever speak about inequalities that come out to the female gender's disadvantage. I have never heard a feminist speak about the problems that men face because of their gender, such as the high suicide rate, tougher punishment, homelessness, the lack of care and protection when men are in trouble, etc.

2: Since systemic and cultural sexism against women is so rare now, compared with the sexism men face, feminist "scholars" are increasingly resorting to inventing inequalities to further their true cause. Take the "gender wage gap" lie, for instance. As incredibly easy it is to debunk, the feminist propagandists just keep repeating it. Or the more sneaky "violence against women" narrative, where it is implied that women are more likely to be the victim of violence than men. Not only is it sexist, and therefore anti-human, to assign value to the gender of the victim as a factor in assessing the importance of the crime, it also simply isn't true. I don't know where you live, but where I live (Denmark) it is SIX TIMES more likely for a male to be the victim of random violence than it is for a female.

3: Feminists seem obsessed with assigning male gender to bad behaviors. Think about "mansplaining", for instance. The implication here is of course than only men can be condescending pricks, and that women are always innocent victims, even when they are being pricks. Or how about the very foundation of feminist "theory", that everything that is wrong in the world is created and perpetuated by "the patriarchy" (men), and the solution to every problem in the world is feminism (women). How lovely it is in its sexist simplicity. How do you think you would feel if it were the other way around? If tens of thousands of people spent their working lives, some of witch you were forced to fund through your taxes, trying their hardest to change language by taking stereotypes about women and turning them into gendered words? If nagging suddenly was referred to as "being womanoying" in mainstream media?

Does any of this sound like equality to you? It certainly does not to me.

The statement that feminism means equality is simply marketing, and I understand why someone might call themselves feminist after hearing that, but sadly, the words and actions of feminist leaders, and their followers, tell a very different story. The real fight for gender equality started with the women's emancipation movement in the last century, and continued with the humanist movement that followed WW2. Feminism is an entirely different beast.

Real feminists routinely overlook the fact that men are a protected group in the UN human rights charter, and feel totally free to act out their sexism towards that group, in speech as well as action, especially if they are white, which is another protected group. In doing so they go against the very foundation of humanism, and so their philosophy has to be considered anti-human.

As for the rest of your essay, I couldn't agree more. I personally love a good slut - especially short ones, though I don't really care about boob size or if she's thin or chubby. One who will happily lay on the couch, for example, hands tied on her back, and suck me just right as I attempt to watch TV, occasionally reminding her what a good girl she is being for sucking daddy's cock so nice. A look of shame or even tears are just a plus. Such a good girl...

And what a fool one would have to be, if you didn't appreciate and respect her during or after that. Such women should be admired and cherished, especially as they are being used and abused. It has to take a ton of courage to be able to give yourself like that, which is probably one reason such treasures are so rare. After all, rape fantasies are supposed to be among the most common sexual fantasies with women.

My perfect fantasy-woman would be just like that - some of the time - during sex, and at other times be smart and bold enough to push me to see when I am wrong, and courageous enough to step up to protect me and any offspring if needed. If I ever was to partner with such a woman, I would consider myself rich.

As for stereotypes about males, I have had my share of struggles.

My mother became a feminist for a while, after her divorce (my father was a useless violent tyrant), and I had the pleasure of listening to all the usual hits. "Men are all swine" and "men will have sex with anything with a pulse" to name a few, and seeing her female friends and female family members agree, and hearing the same things from other places too, well, that was very confusing for a young boy.

Something in me has to have believed it to some degree, because as my sexuality began to develop, I tried to live up to those stereotypes. I just wanted to fit in, just like everyone else.

I am sorry to say, but if you truly don't care about the girls, quite a lot of them will find that attractive. So I slept with more young women than I can even remember. All the while getting progressively more disillusioned and depressed. I simply couldn't understand what they found attractive about me not giving a shit about them, but since I truly did not care about them, I didn't give that too much thought. What did bother me was that I couldn't seem to ever "get" the girl if I actually was in love with her.

And then when I was 19, I one day realized that I actually enjoyed masturbating more than having sex with these nameless teenagers. Being so young, they usually didn't have a clue what they were doing, and so the physical aspect of it was just not as good as my own hand. It also seemed to leave a bit of a bad taste, which I was doing my damnedest to suppress. I was only doing what was expected of a true male, right?

So I went celibate to do some soul searching. For several years.

Well, turns out I am a very sensitive person, and by screwing anything with a pulse, I was really hurting myself, hence the growing depression and disillusion. I also found out that what I truly need to enjoy sex is very simply closeness and intimacy.

So that is probably why I like the "dirtier" stuff. Like putting a naughty girl over the knee, calling a perfectly wonderful woman every degrading name in the book, or fucking someone in the ass who isn't quite sure she can handle it. The thing is that when you do such things, you have to be so perfectly tuned in to that other person. You have to pay total attention and use all of your empathy to make sure you are not harming them. You want her to have a powerful experience that she will cherish and grow from, even if at some level, she might be a little bit ashamed of it. And when someone opens themselves up to you at that level, you can't get much closer to a person. You can see their fucking soul, and that is just the most beautiful thing in the world. And then you get to bring them back to the world again - right in your arms - and hopefully stronger and more complete than before. It doesn't get much better than that. Not for me at least.

Well, that became a lot longer than I intended. Anyway, I liked your essay, so now I guess I will go read some of your stories.

TREKnRayTREKnRayover 6 years ago
Respect.

When I was in Okinawa in 1965 I would go to bars with women who would sit with men and talk for hours and sometimes there was sex and sometimes because I liked a woman. I enjoyed the sex, but never felt that these women were less than me. I was away from home and wanted someone to talk to so I wouldn't feel homesick. I even recall babysitting the children of women who worked in a brothel. A friend of mine gave me the idea. I got to know the women as friends and not sex objects.

I hope you don't mind that I saved a copy of your essay to my personal computer files.

I want to remember it. It could even be used for classes on how people of both sexes should be treated as equals.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Much respect

Thank you for this. Much respect for you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
BRAVO!

I couldn't agree more with you! I've tried to talk to my wife about releasing "her inner slut"--just in the privacy of our bedroom--for years. I argued that it was only her and I in that room, and she could be whoever she wanted to be--as long as we are honest and open with each other about it. And reassured her that what happens in there, stays in there. Unfortunately, the control freak aspect of her personality wouldn't open even a crack for the "bad girl" beneath. Oh, well...

I'm very impressed that you've come to a well reasoned and balanced approach to releasing your slut, to the degree you desire, at the times of your desire. If only most members of our society could reach the same plateau of enlightenment, we wouldn't nearly as many shrinks!

I hope everyones' partners are into the communication that it takes to do what you say. It is a two way street. May you all live your fantasies, in a controlled and safe environment! BigK

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