But here, in a real life version, I was doing everything voluntarily. There were no restraints. It was not a raucus party. It was a typical BDSM play party that had just become my show, and I was doing everything voluntarily. I would not have picked this way of doing it, yet it felt like just the right way.
"Go on," he said quietly, almost in a whisper. I sensed the whole room, men and women were waiting and watching...and hoping I would take that next step. I wasn't so much thinking all of these things as I was aware of them, and I was aware that this was only the beginning: an important beginning, to be sure, but only a beginning.
I pulled myself to Mr. Tad's cock and kissed it softly. The room seemed to breathe out a collective sigh. Then I licked the head, tasting the skin and just a hint of urine, enough to let me know it wasn't a finger or a thumb. I felt an intake of breath from Mr. Tad. I put my lips around the head and ran my tongue over it and made a like sucking motion, like I would with a nipple.
He slowly thrust himself farther into my mouth until it was full then pulled back. I let him go then put my right hand on his butt and my left cupped his balls lightly. They felt full and firm. I pulled him back to me, and he stepped into me slightly and placed his hands along the sides of my head behind my ears as if to balance us both better.
I began to work my head back and forth along his cock. I could feel it growing in my mouth, flattening my tongue down. I was careful to keep my teeth from scraping him, to keep my mouth an O for his shaft to slide in and out of as I moved back and forth. He just held on. He did not force anything, let me move at my own pace.
Time stopped. Nothing existed but this moment, this cock, this mouth, this man. And I remembered wondering why I had ever made such a big deal out of sucking a man's cock?
I felt a slight pressure from his hands, and I knew he wanted me to pick up the pace, so I did. I increased the pace and increased the suction of my lips and mouth. I was thinking of how I would want my own cock sucked and tried to do the same for him. And I tried to take more of him into my mouth, slowly working it farther and farther back in my mouth until I could feel that I was just about to gag. Then I would try to make each stroke go almost to that spot and concentrated on increasing the tempo.
I expected that at some point he would take over the pace, and he did. I could hear is breath coming is short rasps. "That's good," he said. "That's good."
Feeling that he was getting close and would want to control things from this point, I took my hands off him and put them behind my back. The rhythm I had established he took over. Then there were three violent thrusts of his pelvis, and I could feel myself coming back to the gag point, but I didn't care.
I felt his first spurt inside my mouth, a salty taste of warm cream. Then he pulled out of my mouth and shot the rest of his load into my face, on my nose, on my eyes, which were shut, on my forehead, on my cheeks. He plunged back into me one more time and held my head still as he finished emptying into me. Instinctively, I swallowed.
Shortly, he began to shrink in my mouth and go limp. He relaxed his hold on me, which was never overpowering so much as insistent. I began to hear sounds, mostly breathing. A lot of breathing, some ragged, some controlled. And I smelled sex, not just the cum on my face, though I could smell that clearly, but also an indefinable musk of sex in the air. But I heard no talking. No, wait, that's not entirely true. I could hear some murmuring. And I began to feel some stirrings in those around us.
"Clean me up," Mr. Tad said quietly. "Lick me clean and put me back inside and zip up my pants." All this I did, without regard to what anyone else might be saying or doing.
"Now stand and let your friends see you."
"Sir?" I asked confused.
"Look around you." I did. When last my eyes had taken in the room, no one was within twenty feet of us. Now everyone, or so it seemed, was standing around us not more than five feet away. "Walk around the circle and look in everyone's eyes. Take a few seconds in front of each person. Look him or her in the eyes. Then come back to me and tell me what you see in those eyes."
I swallowed, hard. I was down from the high of the scene, back in normal space. And I was afraid. I'm sure it showed in my face, cum covered though it was. "Don't be afraid," he said.
But I was afraid. I felt rooted to the spot. Then he turned me to the right and led me over to Alice and positioned me a couple of feet from her. And I saw an expression on her face I had not seen before. It was friendly, but it seemed almost awestruck. I did not understand it.
He moved me to the next person on my right. It was Ms. Joy, and she was beeming at me, and there were tears in her eyes. I moved on of my own volition, and next were Connie and Missy. Connie had her arms wrapped around Missy, comforting her, while Missy was shaking as if with silent sobs. Connie had a look of admiration on her face when she looked up at me. Then she dropped her eyes back to her Missy.
Slowly I made my way around the circle. There were two gay men, smiling and crying as they held hands. Then a married couple I barely knew, Les and Diane. He nodded while she blew me a kiss. And there were others, and all had a look of happiness or awe or satisfaction or something I could not really name but that did not seem threatening or disgusted or in any way put off.
When I had looked at everyone I returned to Mr. Tad who had returned to the center of the circle. "Sir," I said in a quavering voice, "I've looked at everyone."
"And what did you see, dear boy?"
"I...I'm not sure. No, I'm sure, but I'm not sure how to name it."
"Then you must think about it for a bit. When you know, tell me. Meanwhile, let me clean you up." And he led me to the Men's Room and calmly, tenderly washed my face and pulled up my panties.
I realized that I was crying silently. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as he washed his cum off me. "It was love, wasn't it, Sir?"
"Yes," he answered. And he hugged me.