- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Punch Line
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‘course it was funny. Why else
would seven paperboys laugh
after Mr. Zudoni left?
Two weeks of doorknob delivery
he says everyone
everyone, Man!
Some old lady with blue hair and a teaspoon
gets wet when she gets her afternoon paper
after Buddy tossed it from his Schwinn.
Missed the porch, big deal,
so everyone suffers cuz of him, right?
Well, I had to do somethin
to lighten up Buddy,
Little Joe, and Harry.
and it was funny;
Mom, she even laughed
when Dad told the joke at dinnertime.
Yeah, everyone laughed
but Sammy Brown Eyes
lookin down.
Boy!
What’s the matter with him,
he never heard the word before?
Ya’d think we took his bike,
and trashed that piece a crap
the other side of the tracks.
a re-write of a poem submitted for Pandora Glitter's challenge on Race RelationsJanuary 18, 2011
- COMMENTS
Angelineabout 13 years agoPart of me thinks I'd like this even better if it ended at "lookin down" because what comes after can be extrapolated from the whole poem, including the title. Otoh "Boy!" and what follows is both subtle and overt commentary on the joke and Sammy's reaction. Also only my opinion but I feel like "Ya'd" goes a little over the top on the dialect. An alternative (besides "You'd") would be to turn it into a question "You think we took his bike/ and trashed that piece a crap/on the other side of the tracks?"
twelveooneabout 13 years agothe longer the lead in, the better it had to be, in short, (ah, ha,ha,ah) comes off as too, too, too.. I know this seems to counter intuitive...( but who are you gonna trust, a pissed off poet, or a comedian?)
100
Everyone would get it with this, strenghtens the title, which is what you want to do
Punch Line
Boy!
What’s the matter with him,
he never heard the word before?
Ya’d think we took his bike,
and trashed that piece a crap
the other side of the tracks.
