Pure Heart Pt. 04bybartok_star©
Blonde hair, falling in waves like ocean waves in a sunrise...blue eyes sparkling with laughter...soft, red lips hiding the tenderness of a secret love...
Her gentle, yet firm touch sending electric through my skin...
I shook myself out of my reverie and looked up to see Tanya's frustrated glare.
"It's your turn. Geez, where are you tonight?" she asked.
With embarrassment I realized I had been daydreaming about my sister, Sara, again - and not for the first time tonight. I stood up feeling rather self-conscious and walked past Tanya to pick up my bowling ball from the return. My first shot was less than stellar. While waiting for the ball to return I looked over at Tanya to see her staring at me with an unhappy look in her eyes.
My second shot down the lane brought down even less pins.
As I returned to sit, Tanya cornered me. "What is it with you tonight? It's like you aren't even here."
Instantly I felt defensive. Crossly, I said, "Would you just back off? I'm trying okay?"
Wrong thing to say. It looked like a door closed in here eyes. A wall had gone up. "Fine." she said and got up to bowl.
The next half hour was spent in near silence. The game had turned from something fun into a chore that had to be completed. I felt bad about what was going on but my head felt cloudy. Even though Tanya looked insanely beautiful tonight all I could think about was the physical wall she still kept up - a wall that didn't exist between my sister and I. I was resenting that wall. I wanted more with Tanya like I had with Sara. That resentment was turning into annoyance and frustration.
I knew it, I could see it happening, I knew it wasn't what I wanted but it was happening. I was pushing her away.
Finally the game was over and we returned our shoes and I paid. Tanya barely waited for me to finish before heading out the door. As we stepped outside I was about to speak up and apologize when her cell phone rang. She stepped to the side of the entrance and I stood near as she pulled her phone out of her small purse and answered it.
She greeted whomever had called and immediately her face fell. "What?" she asked. It was silent for a moment as she listened. "How...I mean, when?" There were tears in her eyes. She wiped one off her cheek, still listening. "Okay. Yeah. I...can I just call you tomorrow?" Her voice broke. "Ok. Bye. Love you too." She hung up, breathed deeply, looking past the parking lot lights toward the stars.
"Tanya, what's..." I began before she cut me off.
"I have to go. Thanks for taking me out." she said and walked away to her car. I dumbly stood there and watched as her engine started up, lights came on and she drove off.
It was a few seconds until I reached for my keys when it dawned on me that she'd driven us both there...I had no car.
My mind reviewed what had just happened as I pulled my phone out and dialed my sister. She answered on the third ring and was very amused that I was stuck at the bowling alley. She picked up something in the tone of my voice, however, and realized that something was going on and promised to be there shortly.
I sat down on the curb and thought about the evening. Thought about my feelings for Tanya - good and bad. I had a feeling I knew what the call may have meant but wasn't sure. That she hadn't wanted to tell me about it meant I must have really hurt her feelings tonight.
I was so lost in my introspection that I was surprised when a car pulled up to the curb, making me jump back with a start. I heard Sara's friendly laughter come from the open window.
"Sorry about that!" she said as I opened the door and got inside. "What's up? Why'd she leave you here?"
Sara eased the car away from the curb, out of the parking lot and out into the road.
"She got a call...sounded like someone she knows is hurt or something. I think she forgot she drove us both."
Sara glanced at me after a moment of silence. "Uh huh. What else?" I looked over at her. "I can tell something else is up."
I pursed my lips and sighed. "I was ignoring her I think."
Sara was quiet for a minute. "Do you know why? I thought you really like her."
"I do! I don't know. I just feel like she's still holding me at arms length. I don't want to pressure her to be affectionate but I get really tired wondering whether or not she feels close to me. Like the way we feel."
"Alex...I don't want to ask this, but were you daydreaming about us tonight? Like, were you ignoring her because of that?"
Hesitantly I said yes.
To my surprise, Sara pulled the car over to the side of the road - several cars passing by as she turned the blinkers on.
"Alex. Do you really like her or not?"
It wasn't a hard question for me to answer. "Yeah. I do."
Sara waited for me to look over at her before she said anything else. "Then you need to get over yourself. Okay? You told me before that she's had a rough time trusting people. She's not going to get over that and you've just hit her in the heart tonight."
Her intensity startled me. Were it not for how earnestly she said it I would have felt worse but I could sense her compassion for Tanya.
"What should I do? I mean, she just got that call and barely said goodbye...I was such a jerk..."
"Where does she live?" Sara asked. I had barely told her before we were back out on the road.
"I do not want what you and I are doing to mess things up with you and Tanya, okay? I mean that. I'm your sister Alex, and it's easy for me to love you, okay? Tanya doesn't know you like I do. She's not going to open up as quickly as you want."
She turned onto the main street that Tanya's apartment building was on, several blocks away.
"So what am I supposed to do? If there's something going on tonight I can't just interrupt to talk about our relationship." I said.
"No. You aren't going to talk about your relationship." Sara sighed. "Girls want to be pursued, rescued. We want to know you're there to protect us when we need it. You need to pursue her tonight and let her know you're there to fight for her."
I looked at Sara quizzically.
She felt my stare and a little grin formed on her lips. "Okay, so when you called I was reading a romance novel alright? Give me a break and just trust me. And don't be an ass to her or I'll never talk to you again." She smiled.
We had arrived at the apartments and Sara pulled into a space. With a deep breath I opened the door and got out of the car. One last glance back at Sara, who smiled encouragingly, and I pulled my phone out and began walking to the front entrance, dialing Tanya's number.
I had to call twice before she picked up. Her voice sounded tired but there was a hint of apology as she answered. "I'm sorry, I forgot I drove us both." was her greeting.
Feeling my heart beating strongly I said, "Hey, it's okay. Tanya, I know something's up. I was an ass tonight and I apologize."
There was silence on the other end. Sara watched from the car.
"You were an ass. At least you know it." Tanya finally said.
"Yeah. Seriously. I'm very sorry. I'm, um...I'm outside. I got a ride here. I know the call you got was important and hurt you. I'm here for you. I know you might be angry at me right now and I deserve it, but I'm willing to take that right now if you'll let me be here for you."
Another silence. She was surprised. "You're here?"
She sighed. "I don't know if I want to see anyone."
"I'm not going to press Tanya, but..." I swallowed nervously, "...I really do care about you. I mean it. I don't know what's going on and it might hurt...but I want to hurt with you."
She waited another entire minute before speaking. When she did, my heart skipped. "I...I guess I do need you right now. I'll come down to meet you."
I was stunned and let her go on the phone. I cast a thumbs-up to Sara who grinned, and backed out of her space in the lot and drove off. A few seconds later I saw Tanya's silhouette appear on the frosted window of the entryway. The door eased open and there she was - eyes red and puffy, hair slightly messed, wearing pajama bottoms...
She'd never looked as beautiful to me before.
I stepped up to her, looked into her troubled eyes, and we fell into each other's arms. It wasn't long before her tears were soaking into my shoulder. A few moments later she guided me up the stairs to her apartment - a stained glass dragonfly hanging from her door - and led me inside.
Nothing "happened" that night, but everything changed. We sat on her couch for hours, her under a blanket, as she told me that her grandfather had passed away and shared with me how much he had meant to her. She told me stories - both funny and painful - until the early hours of the morning. I held her as she cried, rubbed her back and encouraged her as best I could.
The last thing she did before falling asleep in my arms was to look me in the eyes, whisper "I love you. Thank you." and tenderly press her quivering lips to mine in a kiss deeper than I could every have dreamed of with her. She sighed after that, curled tightly against me, and fell asleep.
I was the first to awake, going through a quick moment of disorientation until I remembered where I was. Tanya still lay curled against me, her lips barely parted as she slept. I gently raised one hand up to clear my eyes and relaxed it on the back of the couch as I looked around.
During the night I had hardly turned my eyes from Tanya as we talked and I had not seen much at all of her apartment. I was surprised to find that the girls in my lap, the girl who so enjoyed working on engines, seemed to have a fascination with dragonflies and butterflies. They adorned her counters and shelves as wire, glass or clay sculptures, they decorated her walls in framed artwork, and were even sewn into the very blanket covering us.
It was just then that I realized that her earrings were also miniature dragonflies. I felt a bit foolish that I had not noticed this before.
The morning sun was shining brightly through one of her windows and I admired the hanging plants that she had somehow coaxed to bloom indoors. I also noticed a picture frame by the window with a man's face - oddly enough the only picture in the room of a person - I realized it must be her grandfather.
It may have been a half hour later when she finally stirred and rubbed her eyes. She laid her hand on my chest and sighed, smiling, her eyes still somewhat closed. She stifled a yawn and stretched, then lifted her chin to look up at me. I smiled at her, loving the way a lock of her dark brown hair had fallen over her forehead. She made no effort to move it, and smiled up at me.
"Thanks for staying with me." She said, her voice sounding a little hoarse.
"My pleasure. Thank you for letting me stay."
She smiled again, then rested her head on my chest again.
"You're the first guy I've ever had in my apartment."
I ran my fingers through her hair, softly touching her head. "I'm sorry it was under these circumstances."
I noticed her eyes dart in the direction of the window...and the picture. She let out a long sigh. "Me too."
In a little while we both got up. Tanya came up close and gave me a tight hug, then slowly pulled me in to kiss me again, deeply. She didn't mind as I wrapped my arms tight around her shoulders and seemed to melt against me.
She showed me to the bathroom so I could freshen up and I washed my face and neck, wet my hair and styled it as best as possible. I came out of the bathroom to find the living area empty, and walked towards where I figured the bedroom was.
The door was open halfway and I thought I saw her and stepped towards the room...and stopped. Tanya had stepped into view, facing away from me and was busy pulling her hair up in a ponytail - wearing nothing but a bra and panties. I stood there dumbly, watching her hair brushing back and forth across her nearly bare shoulders, drinking in the sight of her beautifully curved back, her waist, her legs... Someone has said that a woman's body is a picture of eternity too great for a man to take in and that's exactly how I felt as I looked at Tanya. Though not as thin as my sister she was built like a goddess - beautiful curves and lines...her body exuding grace in a way I'd never seen in her before.
It was several moments before I realized I should not be gazing in at her like I was without her invitation so I quietly stepped back and into the bathroom. I took a cool drink from the faucet and again splashed water on my face. She appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, smiling quietly - tiredly, and I moved to allow her room at her sink.
We talked a little more that morning and she offered to drive me to my car back at the school campus. She had a number of calls to make to her family and was going to have to leave to visit them and I knew it was time that I gave her room. However the gratefulness I saw in her eyes told me that Sara's advice last night had been absolutely right - Tanya needed to know that I was there to protect her and rescue her when she wanted it.
The drive back to my car was quiet but it was an intimate, understanding silence. There wasn't any reason to bother with words at the moment. I held her hand as she drove and she held mine...and held it firmly.
She gave me our third kiss just before I got out of the car...and it was even deeper and more real than the first two.
When I got home, Sara was quick to meet me at the door and pulled me into her bedroom before our parents even knew we were home.
"So, how did things go?" she asked enthusiastically, closing her door and sitting on her bed.
I proceeded to tell her some of what Tanya had shared - but not too much. And Sara didn't want to know everything, she understood that what we'd talked about was very private for Tanya. But she did want to know about how I ended up staying the night, and especially about the kisses. She was nervous to hear about the kisses but also happy.
"I know I shouldn't ask...but was kissing her like kissing me?" she said, looking slightly vulnerable.
I grinned and reached out my hands for hers. "Sara...kissing you is indescribable. I don't even have words for it. It means...it just feels powerful..."
She smiled sweetly. "I know I really shouldn't make you compare. I'm sorry."
I grinned at her. "Your advice was perfect. Thank you for helping me get my head out of my ass."
She giggled. "What's a sister for?"
I left Sara's room and went into my own, grabbing fresh cloths before heading into the shower. My dad caught me going by and teased me lightly about where I'd been last night. He let me know that he and my mom were heading out for lunch together - something they seemed to be doing pretty frequently now.
I went into the bathroom and hung my clean clothes up, then undressed and started the shower, sighing to myself as the warm water splashed over me. The steam and the heat began to ease much of my tension and I felt my muscles loosen. I closed my eyes and let the water course over my face, washing away my thoughts and concerns.
I thought I heard something and brought my head out of the water to listen for a moment. I ignored it, figuring my towel had fallen off a hook or some such thing. But as I ran my face under the water again I couldn't escape the feeling that something was in the room with me.
This was ridiculous. I was just starting to relax and was now making myself edgy for no good reason. To satisfy my curiosity and calm down, I pulled the curtain aside to verify I was making things up...to find my sister standing, or rather, bent over, in the middle of taking off her pants. She grinned at me very sheepishly.
"You weren't supposed to hear me." She admitted. I was too stunned to say anything, so she finished slipping her pants and panties off, then slid her shirt off over her head and undid her bra as I stared in disbelief. Then she came up to me. "Mind if I join you?"
Eagerly, I stepped back into the spray of the shower and gave her room to step into the shower with me. She looked fantastic - fully naked, nipples hard, little red lines on her hips from her panties. She was smiling at me as she put her hair into a ponytail.
"Sara, what are you...well...I mean..." I fumbled and stammered, trying to come up with something intelligent to express my surprise and confusion.
Grinning, she whispered, "Quiet! Don't let mom and dad hear you talking! They haven't left yet" She stepped closer and I moved a little to let her get into the water...feeling very weird. "I thought I'd surprise you and congratulate you for last night."
"Well...it was mostly from your help, you know." I said quietly. She stepped closer and I gave her more room, but purposefully stayed close.
She was looking down. I didn't realize it at first, but she was looking at my dick - now fully erect and pointed up at her. "I figured it's been hard for you to be patient and thought it was time you had some help. Looks like you were expecting me, actually." She teased. Then she grabbed my washcloth. "Want me to wash you down?" She giggled.
I closed my eyes and moaned. "Sara, you have got to be kidding me!"
She giggled again and grabbed the soap, working up a lather with the washcloth. "I'll be honest. I'm not just here because I thought you might need something." She hesitated and looked up at me, locking eyes meaningfully. Then she put the soap down and had me turn around.
It was a crazy, bizarre feeling as Sara began to wash my shoulders and neck. She held my shoulder with her free hand and ran the washcloth across my shoulders with the other. It was strange enough to have someone else washing me, stranger still that it was my own sister! But she did a good job. As I stood with the water pouring over my chest, she gently and firmly lathered my back, even running the washcloth over my butt cheeks and down my legs.
"Ok. Turn around."
I had heard her, but it seemed my body was paralyzed. The next thing I knew, I had turned around, though I didn't really remember doing it. I felt the water running down my back, washing the suds away as I looked at Sara standing naked in front of me, suds running down her arm from the washcloth. She stepped close, closer than I felt comfortable with at first, and began to rub the washcloth over my neck and shoulders. She worked it across my chest and sides, then down to my belly.
Then she knelt down in front of me.
Wordlessly, she slid the washcloth down the left side of my groin and onto the top of my thigh. She moved her hand and slid the soapy washcloth down my other side. Her face grew closer to my groin as she wiped the cloth over my hip. She bent her face closer, moving the washcloth over to the other side to slide it over my other hip. She put her free hand on the side of my thigh, sliding the cloth down the other, her face now mere inches from my straining erection. She slid the washcloth forward and then inside of my thigh and began pulling it up until she was cupping my balls. Very gently, she massaged my sac with her fingers and the soapy cloth, gazing at my penis as her actions caused it to tug toward her. The free hand she had on my hip slid in towards my groin. All in one action, she sighed, opened her mouth, closed her eyes and melted her lips along the length of my naked dick.
My sister's mouth slid down, the head of my penis on her tongue.
She slid it deeper, her lips around the middle of the shaft.
Still cradling my balls with the sudsy washcloth, she pulled my penis as deep as she could get it, until it touched the back of her mouth.
The water coursed over my back and steam was rapidly rising as my sister knelt before me and took my dick into her mouth as far as she could. The air was filled with the perfume of soap and her hair clung to her back in big, wet strands. I could feel her tongue moving around my shaft as she tasted all of me. She slid her lips back until she could feel the tip of my penis on her tongue and she swirled the tip of her tongue over it like candy. I groaned and she glanced up at me, and as I watched, slid her lips back over my shaft, drawing me back in again.