Sincere thanks to Tx Tall Tales and MSTarot for their mentoring and to Privates1stClass for proofreading. Any remaining errors or issues are on me. I was crocheting a scarf while I edited.
Laura was pissed.
Danny didn't know she was pissed, but she was. His eyes were closed when she discovered the evidence of his presumed infidelity, so he didn't see the brief look of rage that crossed her face like a passing storm cloud.
He certainly felt her rage, but he mistook the attack on his cock for something completely different— passion, hormones, extreme arousal brought on by slow dancing and a sexual-innuendo-filled toast by the best man at his cousin's wedding that day. Even love seemed a plausible explanation to his mind, which was clouded by desire, pleasure, and too many beers at the wedding.
At first he was right. The best man had managed a speech which seemed to be a wedding night instruction manual rivaling the Kama Sutra in details, and the running joke of the night was that someone must have stolen Grandma's hearing aids if he got away with that. In any case, the wedding reception was blanketed in sexual tension after the toast, and the repertoire of love songs and Martini Bar had more than a few couples French kissing on the dance floor.
Laura couldn't get her hands into his pants fast enough when they finally got to the car after what felt like an eternity kissing her husband's relatives goodbye.
"Hey! Slow down, Turbo," he said with a chuckle. "We live three miles away. You can't wait?"
Laura responded with a pout, "I just wanted to play with it in the car. C'mon. Let him out to play."
"Seriously," he retorted. "The last time you gave me a hand job in the car, we almost crashed into a playground full of kids. If I can wait, you can wait," he said as he placed Laura's hand on his fly outside of his pants.
Danny was quite erect, which only enticed Laura even more. She squeezed his cock with her left hand while the fingertips of her right hand traced the plunging neckline of her fancy-schmancy, red dress. It was dark out, but not so dark that Danny missed the spaghetti strap falling down her arm as her hand slipped inside of her neckline, headed for her left breast.
"Ooh, baby. It's too bad you're such a prude tonight," she purred. "Look," she said as they pulled up to the red light. "That guy likes it."
Danny glanced over and saw the driver of the pick-up truck in the right lane practically drooling over the scene in their little sports car. By the time the light turned green, Laura had slipped the straps down both of her arms, and her tits were completely exposed. As Danny stepped on the gas pedal, she gave a coy, little wave before giving her nipples a hard tweak.
"You're killing me, babe," Danny moaned. "Killing me."
As the sports car pulled into their street, they saw their neighbors, Joanie and Vince, getting out of their Lexus in the driveway. They had also been at the wedding, and Laura had spied them touching each other furtively under the table.
"Did you know Joanie is a travel agent?" Danny asked her.
"Yeah. She's always bragging about all the fabulous cruises she goes on. She's a pain in the ass," Laura replied, with a jealous edge to her voice.
"Yes, but your ass is nicer," Danny said, trying to appease her.
Arriving at home, they pulled into the attached garage. As Danny walked around to open Laura's door, Laura pulled the zipper on her dress down the rest of the way, so when she stepped out of the car, she also stepped out of her dress.
Danny sucked in a sharp breath, taking in his wife's almost naked figure. She was wearing nothing but a sweet red thong and high-heeled sandals. Her tits were still perky enough to go out without a bra, and Danny gave a slow whistle to show his appreciation. She grabbed his hand and led him into the house to the living room.
He reached for her, and pulled her close to him. He started humming their wedding song, "Wonderful Tonight," by Eric Clapton, and they swayed in unison. Danny ran his hands down Laura's sides, hooking his thumbs into the last, red slip of fabric she was wearing, and her thong fell to the floor. They kissed each other, starting slowly, and quickly building in intensity.
Laura could feel Danny's hard-on rubbing against her through his dress pants, and she unfastened his fly and pulled his pants down. His silk boxers stuck straight out over his erection, looking a little silly. Laura reached one hand into the front of his underwear and wrapped her cold hand around his cock.
"Mmm... Looks like somebody's ready for some fun," she murmured into his ear as she lowered his boxers to his knees.
Danny reached up to pull the chain to turn off the ceiling-mounted light, but Laura stopped him.
"I want to see what I'm doing, love," she said.
He replied by taking her head in his hands, kissing her softly on the lips, and shoving her playfully to her knees. He could see their reflection in the mirrored curio cabinet, and it was a vision usually found in a pornographic movie. A fully clothed man with his pants pulled down about to be sucked off by the gorgeous woman on her knees in front of him, wearing nothing but a teardrop-shaped onyx pendant and sexy sandals was certainly a rare image in Danny's reality, and it sent a shudder through his body when he realized he was about to be on the receiving end of that blow job.
"You're right. It's sexier with the lights on," he said.
Laura took a minute to inspect his cock before gobbling it down. She grabbed his cock by its thick base, and gave it a playful tug. She stuck her tongue out toward his slit, seeing the pool of pre-cum waiting to be devoured. She looked up at Danny and gave a coy smile. He smiled back before closing his eyes, tilting his head back and moaning out loud. His fingers were still laced through the hair on the top of her head.
She looked back down at the glistening head of his cock, when something odd caught her eye.
On the tip of his penis, there were three tiny specks of purple glitter shining back at her from the slippery drop of pre-cum.
Purple glitter? How the fuck did he get purple glitter on his cock? I don't own purple glitter! I wore red satin, for Christ's sake!
Laura opened wide, and slammed her mouth down on Danny's cock. Danny's response was a full-body shudder, and a low moan.
She sucked him harder than she ever had before, jacking the base of his cock hard enough to sting her lips when her mouth met her fist. She began to nibble, softly at first, and getting harder and harder until Danny cried out, certain that she had drawn blood.
Purple fucking glitter. Who the fuck was wearing purple fucking glitter?
Her mind raced through the catalogue of wedding guests, racking her brain for the woman in the purple glitter. And then it dawned on her. It was Joanie from next door. The dress was gorgeous, in a striking shade of purple with small bits of purple glitter all over.
That bitch. She unconsciously turned up the volume on the already violent blow job.
Danny was moaning and thrashing around, believing that the ferocity with which his wife sucked his cock was due to the mood set by a sexy wedding, in sexy clothes, with sexy music. He felt his orgasm rising, welling up in his cock. He pulled her hair and started uttering incomprehensible sounds.
"Ung. Fuck. Oh, baby. Suck that cock. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come!"
Laura felt his cock growing large and thick in her mouth, and she felt the spasms coming from the base of his cock. She sucked even harder as she felt the hot cum beginning to land on her tongue. She sucked the last drops, swallowed hard, and licked her lips. She looked up at Danny with a look of disgust and anger, and announced, "I'm getting a migraine."
She grabbed her purse from the floor and stalked off to the bedroom without another word, leaving Danny with his head spinning and his pants around his ankles.
Laura tripped over the cord to the vacuum cleaner when she stepped into her bedroom. The light was off, and she was on her phone checking her Facebook.
"What the fuck is that doing here?" Laura said out loud. She turned on the light and slammed the door behind her.
She locked herself into the bathroom and dropped her phone next to the sink. Placing her palms on the counter, she leaned toward the mirror, looked herself in the eye, and continued to fume.
Purple fucking glitter. How the FUCK does one get purple fucking glitter on one's cock?
The Appletini haze made rational thought difficult, but she tried to reconstruct the evening in her mind.
Joanie and Vince. They sat in the corner. We were next to the door. When would Danny have seen Joanie? I saw Vince with Caroline, but I didn't see too much of Joanie. Of course, I was dancing with the girls most of the time, but Danny was at the table the whole time. Wasn't he?
Laura grabbed her phone and started scrolling through the pictures she had taken.
Damn. No pictures of Danny. Fuck.
She tapped the Facebook icon, and scanned the new posts, looking for wedding pictures.
Where the fuck are the wedding pictures?
Finally she found her friend Tina's pictures. She scrolled through the album as fast as Tina was posting the photos. In the fifth picture, Laura found the purple dress she was looking for. In the background of a candid shot of the bride and groom after dinner, she saw them. Danny and Joanie. In the cloakroom.
Their heads were bent close together, as if they were whispering to each other, but Laura couldn't make out the expressions on their faces in the blurred background of the photo. She went back to her newsfeed to see if anyone else had captured these two together.
Aha! There they are!
Danny's cousin, Michelle, had caught Danny with his hand on Joanie's elbow, leading her out of the dining room. Danny's mouth was open, as if Michelle had caught him in the middle of a word. Joanie's eyebrows were furrowed in a scowl toward the camera, as if Michelle had intruded on a private moment, not meant to be shared.
That fucking bitch. THAT FUCKING BITCH!
Laura was screaming in her head. She wanted to erupt, to go downstairs and tear into Danny. To confront him with the evidence of his infidelity, both photographic and, well, metallic.
Instead, she took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. She started the water in the bathtub, and decided that a bubble bath would be a good way to quiet herself and plot her revenge.
On Monday morning, Laura was still seething. As she pulled her SUV out of the garage to go to work, she spotted Joanie on her front porch, drinking coffee and reading a book. Laura did not return Joanie's wave.
All the way to work, she ranted in her head.
Why the hell would he cheat on me? I don't think I've let myself go. Sure. Joanie is a beautiful woman, but what's wrong with me?
Maybe I should join a gym. We don't even have one in town though. I wonder if Joanie belongs to a gym. Ugh. Maybe I'll just walk the mall during my break.
By the time she arrived at work, she was angry enough to spit tacks. She thought about the revenge plan she had hatched over the weekend, and knew she was pissed enough to go through with it.
She parked in the employee parking area and walked quickly toward the chain jewelry store that had employed her for the last four years. She hoped for a calm and peaceful day, like most Mondays.
She got her wish in the morning anyway.
At lunch time she sat at a table in the food court, eating a salad and checking her email on her phone.
Maybe I should join Weight Watchers too. Maybe he just thinks I need to lose a few pounds. I'm not as skinny as Joanie, I guess, but I never thought I was fat.
There was a message in her email from her bank advertising some kind of improvement to their debit card. Laura was about to click to the next message, when it dawned on her that if Danny was cheating on her, perhaps there was some evidence hiding in their bank statement. She clicked on the bank link and logged in.
And there it was. A check for twelve hundred dollars. Written out to Joanie.
Why is he writing her a check? I don't get this at all. Why is he giving her money? OK. She's a travel agent, but where the hell is Danny going? We aren't planning a trip.
What if he's planning a trip WITH Joanie? Oh my god. Why is this happening?
She was so distraught, that she didn't realize her break was over. She got back to the jewelry store ten minutes late, just as the corporate representatives arrived for a surprise inspection of the store.
Revenge would have to wait.
Chester was a small town with limited choices in nightlife. The shabby Ramada Inn had been the most popular spot in town for cheap drinks, bad piano music and weeknight hookups since the 1980s.
"I would have thought that revenge would be a lot easier," Laura said to the bartender as he refilled her glass of chardonnay. "I mean, we've only been married for three years. You'd think at least one of the guys in my contact list would still be available.
"I just didn't even realize he was losing his attraction to me. Maybe this is my fault. Do you think I need to go on a diet?"
"Honey, I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. You look very nice," he said.
She looked up at the bartender and gave him a coy smile as she fingered the onyx pendant around her neck. "You'd sleep with me then, right?"
"Of course! You're beautiful and desperate. Perfect comb—"
"Hey! I'm not desperate! Well, not yet anyway," she said. The corners of her mouth turned down when she realized that she probably was desperate. "Well, would you?"
"I would if I wasn't gay," he said, shaking his head and smiling. "Sorry. You're not exactly my type."
Laura's head flopped down onto her palms as she groaned with frustration.
"You're not helping," came her muffled reply.
"What is it that you're looking for?" he asked.
She lifted her head to look at him. "Revenge. My dickhead husband cheated on me. I'm going to cheat on him. Simple as that."
"Except it isn't so simple," the bartender said. He paused for a moment before speaking again.
"Have you considered just talking to your husband? Maybe this is all just a mix up."
She looked at him like she thought he was an idiot.
"He had purple glitter on his cock. You have a cock. Have you ever accidentally gotten glitter on it?" she said, using air quotes when she said "accidentally."
"Ah...no," he said, shaking his head again.
"Here's what I know. I wore red satin. SHE wore a purple, glittery dress. They were alone together in the cloakroom at the wedding, looking all cozy. When we got home, HE had purple glitter on his cock. How would he have glitter in his pants if his pants didn't come off near the purple-glitter dress? Hmm? Tell me that one."
"You're a little high-strung, aren't you?" He was laughing as he said it, which only pissed her off even more. "I mean, why are you so hung up on revenge? If you're convinced that he cheated, why not just divorce him?"
A woman approached the bar, signaling for the bartender's attention.
"Hold that thought. I'll be right back."
So much for my freaking plan. I should just leave and go home and forget about this. This is stupid. I'll just divorce him. He cheated on me. That shouldn't be a problem, except...
Except that Danny was a lawyer. A hot-shot, rising-star lawyer. He didn't handle divorces, but he worked with guys that did.
FUCK. I'll never win in a divorce whether he cheated on me or not. I signed that fucking pre-nup. SHIT. Why the fuck did I sign the damn thing? Christ, I signed it because he's a lawyer, and I thought it would make him feel like a big man if I let him have his way.
I don't even remember what was in the fucking thing. Did it say anything about cheating? SHIT. I should have looked this up.
Her head was spinning. What started as a simple matter of getting back at Danny was becoming a cluster fuck. She rubbed her temples and tried to think.
I know Danny keeps the house, no matter what, since it was his grandfather's. I also know that I poo-pooed the idea of alimony, since I have my own career. Would I even get to keep my car?
What the fuck was I thinking? I've gotta get back at him. It's the only way to make this right.
She tossed a twenty on the bar, about to get up and leave, but the bartender placed his hand on her forearm to stop her.
"What's your game plan? Are you looking to divorce him?
"Are you planning to have your husband find out you cheated on him? Do you want him to hurt like you do right now? Are you trying to get him to divorce you?
"Or are you going to keep it quiet, so that you're even in your own mind?"
"What difference does it make?" she asked.
"I just think you need to think your plan through to the end. Otherwise, you may find that all of your revenge planning leaves you with nothing, not even revenge."
"Well, since I'm not getting anywhere, I guess I don't have to decide that right now," she replied, sulking a little.
"Look over there," he said.
She looked in the direction that he nodded. There was a middle-aged man, sitting there alone, drinking a draft beer.
"I'm twenty-eight years old. What do I want with that guy?" she asked.
"Nothing yet, but my guess is that if you don't find somebody soon, he will start to look like something you want. Let me know if you decide to buy him a drink." He walked away to wait on another customer.
Laura looked across the opposite side of the bar. She saw a man that she guessed to be in his mid-thirties. She looked closer, and realized that it was her neighbor, Joanie's husband, Vince, sitting by himself. She wondered where Joanie was, and why he'd be here without her.
He looked up at her and smiled, and then realized who she was. Laura saw him gasp as his eyes widened in surprise.
Oh my god. He knows about Danny and Joanie.
She gave a quick, embarrassed wave, and looked down at her drink. She thought about going over to him, but when she looked up again, he was gone.
Shit. He knows, and he doesn't want to tell me. Shit. SHIT.
She looked down toward the end of the bar again. Mr. Middle Age was looking a little more attractive now. She laced her fingers together and leaned her lips onto her hands, as if in prayer, against the bar. Her thoughts raced as she plotted her course of action.
Maybe it would be best to let Danny know that I'm cheating on him.
It's almost seven-thirty. I'll buy that guy a drink and flirt with him a little. I can put a room on my Discover card. Fuck him, suck him, go home smelling like cum, and by the time I get home, Danny will be home from work. We'll get this out in the open tonight. If he agrees to break it off, we're even. If not...
NO! This is revenge, not a bargaining technique. Danny can't find out.
When she looked up, smiling this time, the bartender was back, placing another glass of chardonnay on the bar.
"Compliments of the gentleman," he said.
Laura looked to her right, but Mr. Middle Age had disappeared.
"Not that gentleman," he said, stepping out of the way.
She looked across the bar and saw Vince smiling back at her. Her stomach did a flip-flop as her brain raced to recalculate her plan.
Vince. Now THAT would be interesting. He's a victim here too. It would be perfect revenge! And he's so friggin' good looking. Why the hell would Joanie cheat on him? With Danny?
She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes a little bit as he walked around the bar toward her, but his piercing stare was like looking into the sun. She had to look away.