Rekindling Our Lovebymochakink©
This was written for all of you who let life get in the way of love. Sometimes all it takes is a little communication. I truly enjoyed writing this story. Comments are appreciated!
Being married had never been a possibility for me... that is until I met Josh. We didn't click right off but sparks flew anyway. We were both temperamental with chips on our shoulders about relationships. With his being an architect and me being hired to design the web pages for his company, we were thrown together quite often. Needless to say, we got through all of the layers of our bullshit and ended up having a really good relationship. He loved me and I loved him so we decided to get married.
Let me introduce myself, my name is Todd, yeah I'm a guy. Which, by the way is the reason I didn't think marriage was an even remote possibility. Anyway, I'm just your average everyday guy living his life with who I hope will be the only and last love of my life. I'm 5'10, with dark brown eyes, almost black. My hair is jet black. I used to pride myself on my gym routine, which afforded me a lean and buffed physique. Todd is gorgeous, but then again maybe I'm biased. He wears his hair long, which is a stark contrast to my short but deep waves. His hair is a golden-bronzed color that makes me hard just thinking about it. His eyes are a steely grey that even twinkle when he's annoyed. He's just shy of six inches taller than me with a lean and muscled look that makes me feel like the luckiest man alive.
So what could be the problem? I had a hot ass husband, who I had been married to for seven almost eight years. We had a huge house that he designed of course, and wonderful friends and family. The problem, in one word, was children, of which we had two. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the kids. I'm just saying that their adoptions coincided with the downfall of our marriage. I loved our children to death and I had even decided to work on a freelance basis from home to take care of the kids. Jessica and James were the light of our lives. It's just that me and Josh were no longer burning brightly for each other. I felt like I was losing him ever since we adopted and I didn't know what to do.
In the seven years that we had been married, I'll admit that I'd gotten lazy. Not that I was a soap opera and bon-bon couch potato, but I was developing a little belly and my legs had filled out a little and not with muscle either. Both Josh and I were great cooks so we always had great meals even if they were simple. We were in a rut. Our lives had become too much of a routine. With two toddlers it gets a little hectic and it is always nice that we worked so well together, even without saying much. However, along the way, that non-verbal communication that had often made the household run like a well-oiled machine was almost all the communication that went on. It didn't get easier as the children were getting older. I just didn't know how to approach Josh.
One of my growing fears was that there was something going on in his life at the office that I had no idea about. I would never believe that he'd cheat on me but that didn't stop me from feeling less attractive to him and as if I was out of the loop of one part of his life. We used to be a very talkative couple; we couldn't wait to share the events of the day with each other. Now I have a hard time believing that temper tantrums and throwing food qualify as titillating conversation. As far as why he didn't share anymore, I could only imagine.
I knew that I still loved my husband and I had no intention of giving up on our relationship, I just wish I knew what was wrong so I could work on it. I was not going to be one of those people who just sat around and stewed. I could start by doing something simple with Josh... I could talk to him. I know it sounds corny or over-simplified, but I can't tell you how many of our friends have broken up over miscommunication or just not being upfront and sharing their feelings.
The other problem was how exactly to articulate myself when the time came to actually lay my cards on the table. I could only think of things from my perspective since we hadn't had a real conversation in months. From my end of things I had to admit that a lot of my problem was insecurity. I think that I was afraid to confront him because it might turn out to be all my fault. I felt lazy and like I was out of shape and out of touch with the world. I didn't feel as if I held any appeal. I had unwittingly fallen into the role of housewife but that was so about to change.
Before I burdened Josh with what I was beginning to feel like was my pity party, I decided to get my head on straight. If I wasn't willing to give up on him then I couldn't be willing to give up on myself.
The first thing I did was clean out a spare bedroom that had been used for storage and I ordered some workout equipment on the internet. There was no way I'd leave the children with someone else, even for vanity's sake. I set everything up; even had some fun with the children on the new equipment, of course it was off, but I couldn't resist taking pictures and all. I started working out and even eating more healthy. I was slowly getting my head together and rebuilding my confidence. I needed to recapture the focus of my hunky man and hope that he still loved me enough to work everything out.
Work was going great; the office almost ran without me. Of course I couldn't say the same for my home life. Something was wrong, definitely wrong but I didn't know what it was. Todd was so quiet now, he mostly ignored me. I'd noticed that we weren't working in synch any longer; we just were doing things simultaneously but on an individual basis. We weren't even making love as regularly as before. It was always so natural before that we never even thought about it but now I feel as if I need to ask to have sex and I just don't know how to deal with that.
Everything changed when Todd started staying home with the kids. It was weird, we both were completely active parents, but ask me what he actually did all day and I couldn't tell you. I loved my kids and my husband but I couldn't help but feel that he was unhappy. That didn't make any sense to me. I loved the way our lives had turned out. I had a solid enough business that we really only needed the one source of income. The children were brilliant, even being toddlers, but of course I was biased. My man was beautiful with his dark features. I fell more in love with him each year and I even loved that he was getting a little belly. It made me feel like he was comfortable and loved, a sign of marriage agreeing with him.
All of a sudden the silence between us became almost tangible. It was wearing on my fraying nerves and giving me sleepless nights. What if my husband was so unhappy with me that he felt the need to act on that unhappiness? I didn't think he'd cheat on me but I hadn't been privy to his innermost thoughts for months. What scared me was that he'd started to work out. I wasn't a slouch but I only went to the gym about twice a week in an effort not to expand too much from all of our good cooking. I was thicker around the middle and I had to admit that I liked it. I felt happy and content that I didn't have to be in the gym five days a week anymore. I didn't have to impress anyone, I already had someone who loved me... at least I hoped he still loved me.
The thoughts running through my head were so disconcerting. What if Todd was working out so that he could meet someone else? It couldn't be for me, hell I'd still love him even if he developed cankles and waddled. I found his belly sexy. I know it's probably weird, but I was filled with pride at the fact that it was my cooking that was responsible for his gut. Now, he never wants me to cook. Oh, he doesn't say anything, but when I come home, dinner is already being made and its tons more healthy than anything I would have whipped up.
As the weeks went by I noticed that Todd was losing weight. His face and everything was a bit leaner. I didn't know what to say when he'd catch me starring at him. Honestly I didn't know what to think. Why was he losing weight? Was he sick and didn't want to tell me? Could he be working out and not want me to know? If so, why wouldn't he want me to know? I was starting to feel sick in my own assumptions. I was barreling head first into the worst-case scenario, which was that he was getting ready to leave me and the children. Maybe he didn't want to be at home anymore with the children maybe he just didn't want me. I felt stricken. Part of me recognized that I could be overreacting and misreading the situation, but there was a fifty percent chance that I could be wrong.
Todd even looked happier and I knew that it had nothing to do with me. We hadn't even really talked in months, so I added another thing to my list of things to agonize over. We'd all but stopped having sex and it was pure torture, but I didn't feel right doing it with this big whatever it was hanging between us. I never wanted our lovemaking to be forced. I loved him too much for that. I just hoped that I wasn't losing him for good. If that was where this was headed, I knew that I wouldn't be giving him up without a fight.
I was loving how my body was returning back to it's former glory. I was becoming more sure of myself. So that I wouldn't be tempted to eat Josh's fatty delicious foods, I started making dinner right before I knew he'd be home. I could regulate what I ate better that way. Sometimes I would catch Josh looking at me in a funny way. At first I thought that it was good because he might have noticed that I lost weight but then he started to look sad and that didn't make sense at all.
Then we stopped having sex altogether. It was like the final blow. We were really in trouble. Those last couple of pounds that I wanted to lose before confronting josh would have to wait. It was time to get my man back.
Work was no fun anymore. I didn't want to go in, but I was the boss and I had to at least show my face. I didn't really want to go home either and face the fact that I was losing the love of my life and didn't know what to do about it. Life sucked. My only joy was the time I spent with the children. At least they still loved me. What changed you ask? Well now we were not making love at all. Yes, all was as dry as the Sahara. I don't even know how it happened. I just felt that it was our last shred of connection and now with that gone he was definitely going to seek it elsewhere. I just couldn't bear the thought of that and I wanted so badly to get sloppy drunk and forget my own name but I knew I wouldn't do that. I was determined to stay holed up in my office until I figured out a way to at least try and win back my husband.
The only thing that I could think of was honesty, pure and simple. I couldn't wine and dine him because we'd already done enough beating around the bush. I needed to know what he was feeling even if it was going to hurt. Luckily it was a Friday, so we had the whole weekend to sort it out. I called my parents and asked them to baby-sit for the weekend. We needed privacy, or I did because I had no idea how this weekend would affect me.
As much as I knew that we needed to talk, I still dragged my feet getting home. I was not ready to have my heart ripped out of my chest. Hell, I'd even been crying, something I only did under extreme emotional duress.
I walked into the house, and as our eyes met, Todd said, "We need to talk". These were the same four words that I'd planned on saying but they felt differently coming from him. I nodded mutely and suggested that I take the children to my parents' house. He agreed and the hour that it took seemed to peel years off my life. I was so tense that I had the steering wheel in a death grip. My knuckles were white and as a coldness settled within me, I doubted that I'd ever be warm again.
I arrived back at home to find Todd pacing. He motioned for me to sit on the couch and I did. He came and sat beside me. He took my hands in his and very quietly said, "Baby I'm so sorry for making you unhappy. Whatever it is that has made you not love me anymore please tell me that I can fix it. I'll do anything you want just please don't leave me."
Tears immediately came to my eyes. He thought it was me! I was so relieved that I just starred ahead for a minute. My relief was quickly tuning to alarm. Why the hell would he think that I was the unhappy one? "Sweetheart, I'm not the unhappy one, I thought you were. You all but ignore me for months, you start losing weight, and you never let me cook for us anymore. I thought for sure that you were the one who was leaving."
"I could never leave you. You and the children are my life. I love you. I've loved you for what seems like forever and I will always love you." He was looking at me with tears in his eyes and I knew his look was mirrored in my face. I couldn't quite believe that we just simply had stopped communicating and nothing else. He really wasn't leaving me.
"Baby you don't know how happy I am to hear you say that. I was agonizing over it, thinking that somehow you didn't love our life as much as I do. None of this that we have would mean anything if you weren't here to share it with me." He smiled at me and I felt my heart doing somersaults.
"So you thought I was unhappy and I thought you were unhappy, so then we both became obsessed with the others supposed unhappiness?" He let out a peal of laughter that was like music to my ears.
"I thought that you didn't want me anymore because I was getting fat at home all day. That's why I started working out. There's a whole home gym set up in our old storage room." He smiled at me the way he used to and it made my heart lift. We were going to be ok.
"How could you ever think that I didn't want you, I love you. I have for what seems like forever, and I will love you for the rest of our lives. I thought you were sliming down so that you could leave me. I had already asked my parents to take the kids so that I could beg you to stay and work it out." He attacked me then and began kissing me. My God how I'd missed that. It was like I was a famished beast at a buffet.
He told me how insecure he'd gotten with our non-communication and me in the workplace while he was at home. I got a whole new perspective and I suggested that he come back and work at the firm, since he owned half of it anyway. I told him that we'd set up a daycare for the children so that I could see them during the day too. At least that's what I think I was saying. It all seemed so clear in my head, but I don't think it was coming out like that because Todd had his beautiful lips wrapped around my cock. It had been so long and my body was completely relaxed from the anxiety being lifted that I knew I wouldn't last long. Years of practicing on my tool had honed Todd's skills to all of my likes and dislikes. As a result he could tease me to death for hours or he could make me cum in minutes. He was shooting for making me cum in minutes. He would deep throat my eight inches and then nibble the sides all the while fondling my balls. The outcome was that I was so worked up that I couldn't help but shoot. Tonight was no different.
I shot my searing hot spunk right down his throat. He lapped it all up hungrily but some spilled out the side of his mouth. Before he could lick it up I lapped it up for myself and dove in to taste my own nectar on his tongue. We both had tears running down our faces as we continued to kiss. I would kiss his tears away and he would do the same. By now he was lying atop me straddling my hips. I began undressing him and I realized just how much weight he'd lost. "Baby, please don't lose any more weight, I don't want you floating away from me. I loved the idea of my food being the cause for your belly. The fact that we're thickening around the middle says to me that we're happy and content enough to not worry so much about image. Not that we should waddle, but you know."
He looked at me with such love that I knew that he had done a whole lot more worrying over it than he let on. I didn't even give him time to respond as I dove in for another kiss. Since I thought I was losing him, I had been trying to distance myself from his touch or embrace. Kisses like these hadn't happened in a very long time and I was soooo making up for it. I realized that Todd hadn't cum and I broke the kiss to flip us over so that I'd be on top. I started kissing and caressing his nipples. He was moaning my name and I swear to you that there is no other sound in the world that is more erotic to me. I groaned out loud but kept moving downward. I lovingly laved his navel before moving to bury my face in his crotch. His cock was standing erect at nine inches and I was all but drooling.
I salivated all over Todd's cock making sure to not get him too far along. I licked my fingers and got them good and wet. I started opening myself up because I could hardly wait to be joined with him. I sucked him a little more and jerked him just to be sure he was ready. I really didn't need to because he was as hard as a rock and showing no signs of softening. I gently lowered myself onto his tool and had to moan. I couldn't believe that I still had tears running down my face but I was on an emotional rollercoaster.
He felt so good filling me to the brim. My ass was and always would be his. He must have added stamina training to his workout regime because he was pumping into me with a ferocity that was so intense it was blinding. I was riding him, but he was in total control. I loved that even though I was bigger than him, he could still render me putty in his hands. I was on my way to my second orgasm and he showed no signs of slowing.
"Oh God baby, I'm gonna cum again." He was in the zone. His face was etched in concentration. Oh man I was in for it. He slapped my hands away when I went for my cock and started jacking me off furiously. It was just so overwhelming. I came all over his chest and mine. I collapsed on top of him just realizing that we were still on the couch where we started.
I groaned when I realized that he was still hard and embedded to the hilt in me. "You're gonna kill me baby. We're too old for an all night fuck-a-thon."
He nuzzled my neck and sat up with me. Now, I knew that he was strong, but I figured I was still too large for him to carry. Imagine my surprise when he lifted me and walked us to the bedroom. All without dislodging his cock. I was just bowled over with a renewal of feeling. He made me feel so sexy and loved that I realized how much I missed that closeness.
He laid me on the bed and came with me. He went back to gently nuzzling my neck. He gently spoke to me as he started to slowly pump into me. "I never want to let you go. I felt like my heart was dying. I wish this night could last forever. I love you so much Josh. Please... aahhhh.... ooohhhhh."
He never did finish his statement as I began clenching my ass around him. I knew, from experience, that he was in that groove right before cumming that had him moving on automatic. I hadn't intended to render him speechless though. He had the presence of mind to lean down and bite my nipple. It always sent me over the edge. As he filled me with his seed, I came a third time and without even being touched.
He dislodged from me and I felt empty. He fingered my ass lightly. It always felt like an after-sex massage and I loved it. He brought his fingers up to his mouth and licked them clean. It was so sexy to me but I was too exhausted to do much more than smile. I held him close to me and tried to wrap my mind around the fact that we'd actually gotten over the hurdle. I couldn't stop touching him. I nestled my hands in his wavy hair and just inhaled his scent. He was my life and I intended for him to never forget it or regret it.