Revenge of the Nerd Ch. 22

We strolled intoIndulgences like a mom and her two daughters, Sunny with her arm around my waist and over Sandy's shoulder.

We were escorted to our own private group room.

We undressed and changed into spa robes. I didn't know how Sandy felt about her body, but she recognized it as part of the culture and did a credible job of looking casual.

"You know, when we come in here with a bridesmaid's party, we talk about our guy, and guys in general," I said.

Sandy giggled.

"We're not doing that today. I'm not getting married and we're not a typical group."

Sandy moaned.

"We're going to talk about our guys and how we met them."

"I don't have a guy," said Sandy.

"You can talk about who you want to meet," I said. "Sunny, tell us how you met Louis. Was it very romantic?"

Sunny laughed. "Oh, it was about as romantic as you can possibly imagine."

The tone of her voice was not quite ironic, but there was little doubt her story would not sound like anything I had ever read in a romance novel.

She paused for dramatic effect and said in a breathy voice, "We met at a Mensa meeting."

I howled, and when I finished, I said, "No way."

"Way," said Sunny.

Sandy was looking at her mother with her mouth wide open in surprise. She had obviously never heard this story.

The door opened and Angelica, like that was really her name, greeted us.

"I'm glad you're having such a good time, ladies. Could you possibly keep it down just a little bit? Some of our other guests asked if we would speak with you."

I snorted, but managed to suppress a full out laugh. Sandy began to giggle and Sunny started to titter.

Angelica cleared her throat. Perhaps she had allergies.

We were all laughing but managed to keep it soft.

Angelica raised her eyebrows, tilted her head and left the room.

That occasioned more giggling which we quickly got under control.

When we settled, I urged Sunny, "Go on. You have to give us more than that."

"Patience," she said. "Though the movement was long over, I was a hippie, straight from the commune."

"In Mensa?" I asked with incredulity.

"I was a guest," said Sunny. "A friend asked me to come along with her to what passed for a party. I reluctantly agreed.

"After all, if you can't supply an IQ test, you have to take one, and hippies aren't exactly fond of being part of the orthodoxy. I'd never had an IQ test because Harri and Sam thought they were subversive."

That brought another round of laughter.

"Anyway," Sunny continued, but that was all she got to say.

Angelica came through the door and said, "We're ready for you, Miss Fine."

"No, I've got to hear the rest of the story," I argued.

Angelica stood immobile, a patronizing smile pasted on her face.

Suitably chastened, I groaned and followed her out the door.

Monique, she could have been a Monique, gave me two small towels to cover up and averted her eyes as I got on the table and arranged them.

She started me with a salt glow with Indulgences' proprietary blend of oils which included orange, lemon and lime as well as a secret ingredient. I wouldn't be surprised if it came from the flower of the Pretention plant.

I rolled over so she could do the other side. She had soft, gentle hands.

When she finished, she turned on the Vichy shower and adjusted the temperature before rinsing me off on the table. If she had used lavender I probably would have been asleep by then.

I tossed the wet towels, optional, so she could proceed with my shea butter wrap. This seemed like a more relaxing choice than something designed to help eliminate cellulite, which I don't think any of us had.

Monique wrapped me in a thermal blanket festooned with Indulgences' logo.

As I lay there she massaged my scalp. She wasn't as good as Jeff, but it was delicious nonetheless.

It ended with another Vichy shower and I dried off, put on my spa robe and slippers and Angelica magically appeared to escort me back to our room.

Sunny followed a few minutes later.

"I hope Sandy will be back soon," I said. "I've got to hear the rest of your story."

"I didn't think it wasthat interesting," said Sunny in a tone that let me know it was, even if it could not top Harri and Sam's first meeting.

Since I had chosen for our treatments to be in the same order it was no surprise when Angelica appeared with Sandy a few minutes later.

"Okay, let's hear the rest of the story," I said.

"Yeah, Mom, you've been holding out," said Sandy.

Sunny held up her hands.

"I wouldn't be much of a story teller if I gave you the whole thing at once. You've obviously enjoyed the introduction, but I think I should drag it out a little, savor it."

This elicited groans from both of us.

"Why don't you start to tell us how you met Jeff, Ashley?" she asked.

"Yes. I want to hear that," said Sandy.

I hadn't thought this far in advance. While it seemed like a good idea to find out Sunny's story, I didn't realize I would have to come up with a G-rated story for this company.

Well, Jeff's mom and little sister, I agreed to go out with him because I heard he was a great fuck.

"No, no. I think it's better to finish one story at a time."

"Why don't we vote?" asked Sunny. "I vote for Ashley's story."

"Me, too," said Sandy. I want to hear about Jeff."

I stalled for time.

"Well, you know I met Jeff when I was back in high school, but his name was Bill then."

"We know that," said Sandy. "We want to know what happened this time."

"No, high school is important to know if you want to understand what happened this time."

They seemed content to give me a chance to demonstrate that.

"As you know, Jeff helped me with school work. He tutored me. He even helped me anticipate what questions would be asked on the tests and what answers that teacher would prefer."

I spoke slowly. Perhaps Angelica would return and rescue me so I'd have more time to throw together an appropriate spin.

"He was really helpful. But one day he decided to ask me out. Really, guys, he was too young. Would you have let him take me out if I had said yes, Sunny?"

"I don't know," she said. "It didn't come up."

"Well," I continued, "I turned him down and I have to admit, I was pretty much a bitch the way I did it. I wasn't trying to hurt him. He wasn't even in the equation; it was all about me.

"So all these years later, I'm a college junior.

"I see a friend one day and she looks really happy. So I ask her what's going on, what's making her happy. And she tells me she's been seeing a guy. It's not really serious, but he treats her great, she has a wonderful time with him and he's about the best thing in her life.

"Obviously I get curious and she says I should meet him.

"Going along with your principle of telling the story in parts for dramatic impact, Sunny, shouldn't you get back to your story? I don't want to tell this all in one big gulp."

"Yeah, Mom," said Sandy. This is getting really exciting. Please."

"Alright," said Sunny.

"I'm walking around at the party and, frankly, the guys weren't that much to look at. I'm listening to conversations, trying to find something interesting so I can join in.

"Louis is one of the guys and he's in a conversation with two other guys about the realism, or lack of it, in the construction design of the bridge in the movieBridge Over The River Kwai.

"They're actually talking about the engineering and whether it fit with accepted principles of engineering at the time and how much load it looked like it could take. Could the train they showed later cross the bridge without destroying it?

"And they were so enthusiastic it was like listening to three cheerleaders talking about the hottest guys on the football team.

"I chuckled because I was thinking of them as the three wise men. They were so smart to be talking about this. And I was also thinking of them as the three nerds because it was so goofy to be talking about this."

I started laughing thinking about Sunny calling them the three wise nerd men, or however she put it together. Sandy joined in.

"I looked around the party for a while, trying to see if I could find somebody interesting, but a little less goofy. And," Sunny paused, "it's time for a commercial break. We now hear from our sponsor. Take it away Ashley."

Sandy thought this was the biggest hoot. I could see how it could be from her point of view.

"Alright, where …"

The door opened and a bleach blonde sauntered in full of attitude; she was all that.

She was very attractive and had an outstanding body. Then she looked at me.

I was wearing a terry cloth robe, with almost no makeup, and her look changed. She was second best in the room, not the whole spa, or the Delaware Valley, or Pennsylvania, the room. She quickly recovered.

"Hi, I'm Chloe. I'm here for Ashley."

She took me to a room and left me on my own to enter.

"Hi, I'm Tawny."

And she was indeed.

I eased back in the chair and she started to massage my face with a solution designed to do a gentle peel.

"You have great skin," she said.

"Thank you."

"Actually, you have pretty great everything."

"Thank you." I was practicing my skills.

She let it sit for around five minutes then removed it with a soft cloth.

Tawny wrapped my face with a warm towel. My cares melted away. I know that because I couldn't remember what they were.

After wiping my face again, Tawny applied a proprietary Indulgences' moisturizing mask. This, too, was covered with a moist, warm towel.

If there were a way to do this to all of mankind simultaneously it would put an end to warfare.

When she removed the towel and cleaned my face I was so relaxed I would have preferred a gurney to take me back, rather than have to get up and walk on my own.

Despite having left first, I was the last one back. The skin on both their faces glowed.

It was approaching 1:00 and I was pretty hungry.

Fortunately, our experience included ameliorating our hunger.

Chloe gave us our choices for lunch and left to get them for us.

"This is wonderful," sighed Sunny, "but I don't think I could take too much of it. The downtime is nice but I need to be doing things even if it's only visiting with my family."

"Well, Mom, you've got the best of both worlds. You have the relaxation and you're with family."

"And it's lovely," said Sunny. "Now I think Ashley owes us some more of her story."

I'd had an hour to come up with my best spin. I could tell a compelling, though unflattering, story without any mention of ice cubes and nerve pathways.

"I may have neglected to mention that my friend told me Jeff was an incredible kisser."

"Eeew," said Sandy. "I don't know if that's revolting or intriguing."

I rolled my eyes.

"It gets better, or worse."

Fortunately, I was temporarily saved by Chloe's entrance with the food.

It was only temporary and as we finished up our lunch they both pressed me for more.

"He walked me home and I was getting uncomfortable. Every guy I ever dated was kind of hunky or even better.

"Most of them were older. All of them were smoother. And Jeff was two years younger and a freshman for God's sake.

"He hadn't said anything about it, but I was thinking where does he get off thinking he's such a great kisser.

"I know it was my own doubts and insecurities in a situation I wasn't used to, but I started to get angry at Jeff. I told him to show me this great kissing I'd heard so much about.

"I know. Once again I was a real bitch.

"And do you know what he said? He said I had seemed nice but my behavior was terrible. He said with my attitude no kiss would have been any good. And then he just walked away.

"And that, ladies, was how I met Jeff."

"But you still know Jeff," said Sandy, "so there must be more to the story, though it's really hard to see why he ever went out with you again, no offense."

I laughed. "None taken.

"It must be hard to imagine why he would agree to see someone who treated him that badly. I'll admit I kind of groveled. I gave him what I thought was my reason.

"But you guys know why he did it. He's Jeff.

"He said in your family, you admit the mistake, you have remorse, that's enough. He is so special."

"Well, we know that," said Sunny. "There's obviously more, but you've upheld your end of the bargain, so I'll tell you more of my story.

"There was nothing much going on as far as guys I'd be interested in dating at the party, although there were interesting guys, like the nerd trio.

"At some point I hear a piano playing some show tune and there were people singing along. So I followed the sound to the piano, and there on the piano seat, playing his heart out, was Louis.

"And I could tell from his demeanor and his body language he wasn't doing it to be the life of the party. He wasn't trying to make himself appealing to the girls. He was just having fun; being himself. At that point I knew I wanted to get to know him."

"Wow," said Sandy, in awe.

"I'm not done," said Sunny. "The singing and playing eventually came to an end. People thanked him for playing and he blushed.

" People started to wander away from the piano and I started to move towards him.

"And then for nobody but himself he started to play again.

"He started to play a traditional, but not show style, version ofSomeone To Watch Over Me. Slow. Soulful. With so much emotion I couldn't believe the other girls weren't rushing him.

"But after the first time through it got even more amazing. He started to do a jazz version. Still slow, but he was taking it places. I didn't know if he had worked on it or if he was improvising, but from the way he played and the way it sounded, it was clearly his.

"I sat down on the bench next to him and he was startled, but kept playing.

"You know I dressed kind of hippy, so he changed what he was expressing with the music to acknowledge me.

"That's when I knew that if he wasn't a secret serial killer or something equally vile, this was the guy I wanted to spend my life with."

"Oh. My. God," said Sandy.

Her head didn't move, but her shoulders sank away from her head as her eyes slowly closed.

We just sat there silently, enjoying the after effects of the story.

I felt like I had just closed the last page of a good romance novel.

This was way more romantic than let's see what makes you such a great kisser and get your hands off my tits. Not as adventuresome, but definitely romantic.

Our reverie was broken by Chloe, there to start the next round of our spa adventure.

I was treated to a Swedish massage, firm, but certainly not a deep-tissue massage.

Candace had strong hands. She was very professional until I told her how good it felt when she was working on the back of my thighs.

"I can do things to make you feel good that no guy has ever thought of."

"Not unless you read as extensively as my guy."

"Read?"

"It's the only way to go."

I moaned when she did my feet. It was good, but she was no Jeff.

We all got back at around the same time. As we sat back and relaxed, Sunny started again.

"I know you liked the story, but the night isn't over. When he finished, I put my hand on his arm and told him it was wonderful and how much I loved it.

"I tried to get a conversation going, but he was having a tough time. He could answer my questions, but he had trouble taking the conversation anywhere himself. Hewas interesting. It was just hard getting it out of him.

"I stuck with him for the rest of the party and he seemed pretty willing. I don't think he'd been on that many dates and I'm sure nobody had ever pursued him the way I did. He seemed to enjoy it.

"Then came the end of the party and I told him how much I had enjoyed talking and being with him and he really liked that. His face just beamed. He told me he had enjoyed it too.

"He stood around for a while and then said he guessed it was time to go.

"He didn't know what he was supposed to do, so I rescued him.

"I asked him where he lived and told him where I lived and before he could try to walk off again I asked if he would like to walk me home and he said he would.

"I held his hand and took my time walking back.

"When we got to my dorm, he verbally fumbled around. He couldn't figure out what to say so finally he held out his hand to shake.

"I took it but I didn't let go. I brought my hand back to my body along with his.

"He stepped closer to maintain his balance. He had that scared look on his face that said, 'What do I do now?'

"I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't the hot kind Ashley didn't have with Jeff."

She smiled at me with a playfully wicked gleam in her eyes.

"It was sweet and I lingered because I wanted him to know this was not just some polite goodnight kiss.

"I told him I had a wonderful time in my dreamy voice. I used his name.

"He told me he had a great time too. Then he didn't know what to do again so he told me he'd better get going.

"I said, 'You don't want to leave without my number, do you?'

"He was flustered and said he forgot to ask. I told him I was going to get something out of my purse to write it down.

"He said I didn't have to, he remembered numbers very well, especially when they had a relationship to what he referred to as a key. He said 'Sunny' was his key.

"I said, 'Perhaps it will help even more if you use "Sunshine" as the key.'

"He smiled and said it was a wonderful name and there was no chance he would ever forget me or the number."

Sandy sighed.

I sighed.

"I told him my number and he nervously leaned in and kissed me on the lips. He didn't hold it very long and he blushed when he did it. But he did it.

"He said, 'Bye. I'll call you tomorrow,' and he left with a bounce in his step that was close to skipping.

"And that's how I met Louis."

We just sat there and absorbed the story.

Sandy sighed again. I did too.

We heard another sound.

Chloe was standing there looking dreamily at Sunny, sighing.

She had been standing there long enough to hear a good bit of the story and she had been enthralled as well.

She noticed us all looking at her.

"I knocked, honestly, but nobody answered. And when I heard the story I kind of forgot where I was. Really."

I smiled at her. I saw Sunny and Sandy smiling too.

Chloe finally got herself together and started giving us instructions on where to go.

"By the way," said Sunny, "I know it's not part of the story of how we met, but trust a nerd; if he tells you he's calling tomorrow, he's calling tomorrow unless he's in a coma.

"He finally started chasing me until I let him catch me."

Again Chloe was captivated and had to snap herself out of it. She told us we had around ten minutes until we would go for our pedicures and manicures.

"Unless there's any more to the story," she said with a smile. "I could tell them we're running a little late."

We laughed and Sunny told her that was as much of the story any of us were going to get.

"Do you have anything else to tell us, Ashley?" Sunny asked.

"I suppose I shouldn't leave you completely hanging.

"Jeff graciously agreed to go out with me again. He took me to see the wrestling team."

I paused for effect. If you haven't been there, you probably have no idea why anyone would go.

"There they were, thesehunky,muscled guys who were wearing hardly anything, all sweaty and grunting."

I drew it out and made them sound delicious.

"Okay, not the point of the story.

"Anyway, we got back to my place and I was kind of in the mood so I thought why not show him what I think hot kissing is.

"So I tried. But he kind of took over and it was amazing; it was so hot!