She Has a What?!byMatthewVett©
"Roommate needed immediately! Local student looking for roommate. Must be nonsmoker and have no pets. Apartment is five minutes' walk from campus and has two bedrooms, one bathroom, hardwood floors, a kitchen, and a living room. Unfurnished. Rent is $400 per month per person, utilities not included. If interested, please call Megan at..."
I studied the poster. I had showed up to campus a few weeks early to get settled in, and was currently crashing with a friend while looking for an apartment. I had figured all the good places had already been taken, but five minutes from campus? That wasn't bad, especially at that price. I didn't think I'd get a better deal... Hey, why not? I took out my cellphone and dialed the number.
On the fourth ring, someone picked up, followed by a few seconds of muffled shuffling. "Hello? Are you still there? Sorry, I dropped you!"
"I'm still here. Is this Megan?"
"Yes! I'm me! Who is this?"
"Eric. I saw your flyer about a vacancy in your apartment. Is it still available?"
"Yes! Ugh, it's terrible! My roommate was supposed to live with me this year, but then she got engaged so now she's living with her fiancé and now I'm never going to get a roommate and I'm going to have to pay the whole rent by myself and I'll be lonely every day and-"
"Um, I was interested in taking it?" I offered. "Can I come by and take a look at it? I'm on campus now, I can be there shortly."
"You are? That's great! Um, ya, come on over! I'll get dressed and everything. Do you know the address?"
"It's near Temujin's, right?"
"Right across the street from them! Just ring the buzzer when you get here. It's apartment 1227. See you soon, Eric!"
Excitable girl... I wondered what sort of roommate she'd be. Considering my last roommate and I only really said hello to each other about once a month, I figured it couldn't really get worse. I walked to my potentially future home, going over the few clues I had gleamed from our short conversation.
By the time I pressed the buzzer, all I had come up with was that she seemed eager and bubbly. Not bad qualities in a roomie, but I hoped she wasn't going to want to do everything together.
"Megan? I'm here."
The door buzzed and unlocked. "Come on up!" replied Megan from the intercom. "I'll be waiting!"
I took the elevator up and went to knock on the door, but before my fist could connect, the door swung inwards, revealing a tall, slender, blonde. "Hi! Are you Eric?"
"Uh, yes. Megan?"
"Yeppers! Hope I didn't startle you, but I heard your footsteps so I knew you were coming. You walk really loudly, by the way." She swept her arm across the apartment's expanse, showing it off as though it were a surprise birthday gift. "This is the apartment! What do you think?"
I stepped in and looked around. It looked good. Hardwood floors, air-conditioning, TV, couch... I checked out the kitchen and noticed happily that Meg already had pots, pans, and knives.
"Let me show you the bedroom and bathroom," offered Meg, taking my hand and leading me across the living room. "This is the bathroom."
I peeked in. "Wow, that tub is massive." It was closer in size to a jacuzzi than to a bathtub as I thought of one.
"Isn't it? That's why I picked this apartment. I just love bubble baths. No better way to relax after a hard day, as I always say!" She giggled. "Hey, that rhymed!"
"That it did... Where's my room?"
"Right here," she said, pointing to the door nearest the bathroom. "Mine is the room next to it."
I glanced into her open doorway. Her bed sheets and pillows were various hues of pink and purple. Arranged in front of her pillows were a few stuffed animals. Her walls were covered in posters, but rather than musicians or movie posters, they were of maps and classic artwork. At least I could approve of that, if not the rest of her design choices.
My own room was currently bare, inhabited only by a desk, a chair, and a queen size bed. It looked perfect. "I'll take it!" I proclaimed.
"Oh my god, really?! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're such a lifesaver! I thought I'd never get a roomie! It had already been three days!"
Three days? So not a patient girl. "How about we go get lunch to celebrate? My treat."
"Awesome! I think we're gonna be good friends, Eric!" she exclaimed, wrapped her arm around my shoulder as we stumbled out through the doorway.
Over lunch, we learned more about each other. She was a history major, specializing in Medieval studies, and had grown up in Minnesota. Her family was of Swedish extraction, although she couldn't speak it. She was just eighteen, and starting her first year of college, whereas I was entering my senior year.
We got along well. We had similar taste in television shows. We both enjoyed video games. She was perhaps more social than I wanted to be, but I was able to get my privacy. We ended up spending quite a few weekends exploring. I showed her some of the mysteries and wonders of the campus: nearly-forgotten basements, ignored museums, and old traditions. It was kind of nice having someone to take care of.
But there were a lot of other things that you really only learn from spending time with each other. I learned that she wasn't very modest...
She seemed to actively dislike wearing bras. It wasn't as though she didn't especially need them; she was quite a lot more than a good handful. But the second she got in the door, she went to her room, and came back out significantly nipplier. Meg was my first female roommate. I wasn't sure whether her behavior was normal, but it was certainly distracting.
I hadn't taken much notice of her as a woman at first, but that changed as day after day we ended up chatting together on the couch, with only a thin shirt covering her ample breasts and a short skirt that only went down to her knees. I didn't think she was doing it on purpose. She just grew up in a small house with a large family. I think she didn't really "get" privacy.
She certainly didn't take much notice of how much she was wearing. One time, I was watching TV with a friend, Stephen, when she strode out of the bathroom and asked, "Eric, where are the nail clippers?"
I glanced in her direction, replied, "They're not on the counter?" and spit out my coke into my friend's ear.
"What the hell is your dick problem?!" he shouted, before turning towards Meg. Both our jaws dropped.
She stood before us wearing only a towel from the waist down, and only a smile from the waist up. Her wet, blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders, stopped just above her pert, round breasts. Her pink nipples were hard and thick. Her skin glistened with dew, and her smile shone like the morning sun.
"Meg! Naked! Clothes!" I choked out while tackling my friend onto the couch to block his eyes.
She looked down nonchalantly. "Oh, whoops!" She covered her chest with one arm barely. Her breasts were still easily visible above and below it as they threatened to reveal themselves, but at least her pebble-hard nipples were now hidden. "No, they're not there. I looked everywhere in the bathroom for them."
"Let me go!" mumbled Stephen from underneath me. "I want to see!"
"I think they're in my room," I remembered. "Try looking there. And can you borrow one of my shirt's to put on while we have company?"
"Okay, if you insist..." She sullenly walked to my room, allowing her arm to drop. My cock was throbbing beneath my boxers. I knew I'd have to take care of it the second Stephen left. As she walked, her breasts jiggled wonderfully with each step, bouncing jubilantly. I prayed for her towel to fall, but it cruelly failed to do so.
After that, I couldn't talk to her without being reminded of her amazing body. I had to be careful not to hug her too tightly, lest she realize whither my thoughts were straying. Nevertheless, her calm, friendly, open demeanor defused much of the tension, and it was fairly easy to live with her, so long as I relieved the pressure every so often. And then Halloween happened...
We had come across a Halloween store selling cheap, plastic Viking helmets, those round ones with the horns, and Meg had immediately decided we just absolutely had to go as Vikings together. I even got some Danish mead to bring to the party we were going to attend. We were all set.
But then, a few hours before the party, Meg ran into the apartment, sobbing, and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I heard the water turn on, and decided to wait until she was done before trying to find out what had happened, although I had a guess. She had already been through three boyfriends this semester, and without fail, they broke up with her after just a few dates. I hadn't pried, but my own personal guess was that they were little horn-dogs who dumped her when they realized she wasn't as easy as they might have liked.
The water had been off for a while. I decided to venture out and see whether I could help.
I knocked tentatively on the door. "Nutmeg, can I come in and talk? Are you decent?"
I heard a gasp behind the door, as well as muffled sniffling. "Huh? Ya, sure."
"OK." I walked in. She was in the bath, covered by bubbles. Her glacier-blue eyes were puffy and red. I averted my eyes towards the wall. "Meg, you said you were decent..."
"I am." She looked down at the bathwater. "Ooooh, you meant clothed. No, I'm not clothed. See?" She sat up briefly in the water before splashing back down, just enough time to reveal her bare breasts, covered with suds.
My pants tightened as I tried to focus on her face. "Is everything OK? Do you want to talk about it after your bath?"
Her head tilted down, she looked up into my eyes and bashfully asked, "Actually, can we talk here? I just feel more comfortable in the bath. Growing up, my family relaxed in the bath together. I guess I just find it calming..."
"Sure." I sat down on the rim of the bathtub. "So what happened?"
"I got dumped..."
"I thought as much. What happened?"
"I couldn't give him what he wanted..." So, I had been right after all, I thought to myself. She looked up at me, her eyes glistening. "How come all guys are the same? They don't like me for me! I can't help who I am..."
"Hey, it's not that bad..." I rubbed her shoulder while guiltily staring down her moist, soapy cleavage. I swallowed and continued. "Lots of people like you. I like you. You're the best roommate I've ever had. No one else watches old black-and-white movies with me like you do. And no one else helps me make truffles! You're a great girl. Smart, sweet, kind..." Amazingly, wonderfully gorgeous, I added silently.
She faintly smiled. "Thanks, Eric. You know just what to say... Is it OK if I stay home tonight? I'm not really in a party mood tonight."
"Of course! We'll do anything you want."
"Will you...will you take a bath with me? Please? I miss having someone..." My face must have turned as red as I felt, because she immediately continued: "Don't be shy! It's fun!"
"I haven't really known you that long, Nutmeg..."
"I haven't known you that long either, and I'm not shy!" she proclaimed, punctuating her statement by raising her chest out of the bubbles.
"I can see that..." I can see everything... Her breasts glistened. They were perfectly formed, perky, firm... The freckles that were so adorable upon her cheeks were simply seductive upon her breasts. Sitting there, so innocent, with her earnest smile and milky body, how could I resist...
"Fine, I'll do it..."
"Yay! Thank you so, so much!"
I took my shirt off over my head and removed my socks. I was about to undo my jeans when I remembered the fact that I currently had a raging hard-on for the girl who was currently watching me. "Um, can you close your eyes for a second?"
"Why so bashful? I've seen a penis before, you know."
"If you don't close your eyes, I won't take a bath with you..." I warned.
"OK, OK..." She clenched her eyes shut, then covered them with her palms. "Happy?"
"Very," I teased, slipping out of my pants and boxers as quickly as I could before sliding into the hot water opposite her. "You can open your eyes now."
She did and grinned. "You're such a great friend! You're the best!" She leaned towards me.
"No hugs right now!" I directed, holding up my hands to keep space between her and my throbbing secret. "Naked time is not hug time."
She pouted, but accepted it. "Isn't this nice?"
I had to admit, I kind of was. "Ya. It's actually pretty relaxing." It had to have been over a decade and a half since my last bubble bath. It was kind of nice, and the tub was roomy enough that we both easily fit without any contact, thankfully.
She sighed deeply, her breasts heaving just beneath the water. "I just don't get how one little thing about a girl can turn guys off so completely. Does everything have to be perfect?"
"Nobody's perfect. If you think someone is, you're probably only seeing a fantasy, and not the real thing," I opined. "The guys you're dating are just immature if they think they can get every ideal in a single real human being. You need to find someone older and wiser.
"Life is too complex for there not to be a few contradictions and special cases. You can't have it all. You just need to find what's important and be willing to compromise otherwise. If you can't compromise, you'll never be happy."
"I wish I could find a guy like that: someone who's willing to see me as a whole package, not just a bunch of parts." She pouted and looked at me from under her bangs like a soaked kitten. Her lower lip was trembling. Even I could take the hint.
I sloshed forward in the water and embraced her. Her arms wrapped tightly around me as she loudly sobbed into my shoulder. I rubbed her back softly, gently, trying to ignore the heavy weight of her breasts against my chest. "Hey, forget about that idiot. We'll have our own party at home. We still have our costumes, right? And I've got a bottle of mead with your name on it. What do you say?"
She wiped the tears out of her eyes and sniffed. "Sounds good," she said, with a weak smile.
"I'll go get things ready. You stay here and relax a bit if you need it," I instructed. I stepped out of the tub, temporarily forgetting my condition. I was instantly reminded by Meg giggling and covering her mouth with both hands, her eyes fixated on me. All I could do was grab my clothes, hastily cover my exposed crotch, and walk backwards out of the bathroom. Well, at least I made her smile, I thought to myself...
I hooked up the television to my laptop, put on my helmet and costume, and got the drinks set up. I initially put out shot glasses, but when Meg saw them, she traded them in for the biggest steins in the kitchen, yelling, "Vikings quaff mead! No shots!" I wondered whether she had started without me...
Finally we were both dressed and ready. Her costume's helmet had long, blonde braids. It was skimpy as you might expect a college girl's costume to be: there wasn't much to it besides boots and a short, fake-leather skirt. If not for the helmet, you'd be hard-pressed to identify her. Not that anyone would have minded. The skirt's low top combined with Megan's assets were nearly enough to ruin the idea of wearing a skirt in the first place. They threatened to overflow her top with an unusually deep breath. She was wearing a bra for once, but by the looks of it, it had to be a push-up, which didn't help my over-active imagination.
We put on Casablanca and drank. We made a drinking game of silly accents, but couldn't stick with it for long if we wanted to end the night alive. As she drank more and more, she became more and more maudlin. By the film's end, her eyes were watery as she blubbered and bemoaned her fate.
"I'll never find a guy like Rick!" she whined, pushing her face into my shoulder while hugging me tightly, a position that forced her cleavage into my view.
"Hey there, it's OK, Nutmeg." I tried to think of how I had cheered up girls in the past. "Want a backrub?"
She looked up at me and nodded sadly. I gestured for her to offer her back to me, and she did so, continuing her litany. "Everytime I get close to guy, he gets scared off! And it's all my fault..."
"It's not your fault. It's the guy's fault. Why wouldn't a guy want to be with you? You have brains, looks, a big heart, a great personality..."
"A penis..." she mumbled grumpily.
"That's OK. Lots of girls have a...what. Did...did you say...?"
"I have a cock, damnit!" she screamed, throwing her fists into the air. "A dong, a weiner, a dick, a baloney pony; whatever you call it, I've got it! And guys don't want chicks with dicks! I'm gonna be alone forever..."
"Hey, it's not that bad... Even if you have a...that, you're still a great lady."
She punched the couch with both fists and wailed, "And worst of all, I'm always so goddamn horny!"
My cock stirred, rising against her backside. "Well, why don't you, you know, masturbate? That's what I do."
"Um, I don't actually...know...how..."
"What? How can you not know how?"
She looked away as a blush spread across her cheeks. "I just learned how to give blowjobs before handjobs, and after that, guys never complained... No one teaches girls how to masturbate when they have a dick."
"You never explored yourself?"
"I was afraid what might happen... I mean, I have wet dreams sometimes, but that's really it... I need someone to teach me or something," she pondered.
"...I mean...I have experience..." I could hardly believe what I was saying. Was I really offering to teach my gorgeous roommate how to masturbate? Oh god, she must think I'm a pervert...
"Would you really?! Oh thank you thank you thank you!" She turned around and hugged me forcefully, pushing me onto the couch. She lay on top of me, her tremendous chest inches from my face. I suddenly realized I could feel something hard pressing against my thigh.
Wow. So that's what one felt like... I forced myself to keep my hands to my sides, to resist reaching down and cupping her cock, feeling it right away.
"Okay, so um, how about you take off your costume, and I'll grab some lotion, OK?"
She nodded eagerly and was already stripping as I went to the bathroom to grab my moisturizer. I looked at myself in the mirror above the sink. Was I really doing this? Why on earth was I so turned on by the thought of it? Was I gay? No, I didn't want a guy. Why did I want a dick, though? I splashed cold water onto my face and tried to push aside my worries. I'd deal with them later.
I came out, and nearly dropped the lotion onto the floor. Meg was sitting on the couch, entirely naked. Her wavy blonde hair tumbled down her body like a gilded waterfall. Cute freckles dotted her rosey skin. Her firm breasts stuck eagerly outwards, seemingly awaiting me. She was smiling at me shyly, yet made no effort to hide herself.
My eyes slowly lowered down to her crotch. Beneath a short bush of blonde hair, it arose. Her cock was enormous, easily an inch larger than mine, and thicker, too. I felt a brief pang of envy, quickly replaced, though, by arousal. It was deep pink, especially her swollen head. It bobbed gently with her heartbeat, throbbing with desire.
She must have caught my expression. "Is this okay?"
"Ya, ya, it's-it's fine. Really." I swallowed deeply and sat beside her, silently, awkwardly for a few moments.
"Sooo..." she added, slowly moving her hands downward to cover her erection.
"How do you want to do this?"
"Well, I guess it'll be easiest if we have the same point of view, so how about you sit on my lap?"
"Sounds good." She climbed onto my lap and sat down, wiggling her tight little butt against my hard cock. "Oh wow!"