- Erotic Poetry
- sibilant seduction
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Click herea glance compromises the senses,
promises silently spoken,
time stills, snakes sinuously
realise
how soft
how smooth
how sensual she is
sinking in silken thrall
skins surface, exquisite as
polished glass,
organic obsidian
seduces the fingertips,
a single stroke causes
shivering sexuality,
to trace her flesh
is to be lost in lust
slowly slip, slide down her spine
her side, her thighs
deep stare penetrates her eyes,
sensitive strokes on carnal instincts,
circles, spheres, Ovals
her cries and sighs mine to prize.
- COMMENTS
theoncomingstormover 10 years agoI really can't say much but wow to this one... The words are potent, powerful, and drawing from me desire and lust
Angelineover 10 years agoand very well written. You've matched the pacing of the poem to its meaning and that is very very good. The whole sssseduction unfolds for the reader through a haze of lust. And if that isn't good erotic writing, I don't know what is.
A couple of nitpicks: 1) I don't think you need the "is" in that last line in the second section because it takes the whole section from showing to telling. If you take it out, you'll need a comma after "flesh" in the previous line, but you'll have a smooth sustained image then. Just my thought. :-)
2) You do a similar thing in the last line by adding the phrase "to prize." It does tell the reader what you think, that all this is yours to prize, but do you really need to tell us? Everything else up to this point has given that message. And if you take it out and do something like, "her cries and sighs. Mine." you have erotica that ends not with words that have thoughts attached to them but with sounds. That can be a powerful way to end the poem. Just some food for thought.
Otherwise it is wonderful and I love how you worked that "s" sound. I also love that first line.
Ashesh9over 10 years agois to be so lost in lust ..........
Whoa , Tod ....beware La Femme sans Merci ........5-ed !
