sibilant seduction

Poem Info
82 words
5
2.1k
1
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
todski28
todski28
18 Followers

a glance compromises the senses,
promises silently spoken,
time stills, snakes sinuously
realise
how soft
how smooth
how sensual she is
sinking in silken thrall

skins surface, exquisite as
polished glass,
organic obsidian
seduces the fingertips,
a single stroke causes
shivering sexuality,
to trace her flesh
is to be lost in lust

slowly slip, slide down her spine
her side, her thighs
deep stare penetrates her eyes,
sensitive strokes on carnal instincts,
circles, spheres, Ovals
her cries and sighs mine to prize.

todski28
todski28
18 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
3 Comments
theoncomingstormtheoncomingstormover 10 years ago

I really can't say much but wow to this one... The words are potent, powerful, and drawing from me desire and lust

AngelineAngelineover 10 years ago
Sibilant Indeed

and very well written. You've matched the pacing of the poem to its meaning and that is very very good. The whole sssseduction unfolds for the reader through a haze of lust. And if that isn't good erotic writing, I don't know what is.

A couple of nitpicks: 1) I don't think you need the "is" in that last line in the second section because it takes the whole section from showing to telling. If you take it out, you'll need a comma after "flesh" in the previous line, but you'll have a smooth sustained image then. Just my thought. :-)

2) You do a similar thing in the last line by adding the phrase "to prize." It does tell the reader what you think, that all this is yours to prize, but do you really need to tell us? Everything else up to this point has given that message. And if you take it out and do something like, "her cries and sighs. Mine." you have erotica that ends not with words that have thoughts attached to them but with sounds. That can be a powerful way to end the poem. Just some food for thought.

Otherwise it is wonderful and I love how you worked that "s" sound. I also love that first line.

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
to trace her flesh ....

is to be so lost in lust ..........

Whoa , Tod ....beware La Femme sans Merci ........5-ed !