Siblings with Benefits Ch. 38bylovecraft68©
Author's note; This chapter is the finale of Dark Days. Although there is no scenes of non consent as there were in the previous two chapters, I will put it out there that this chapter is a bit on the dark side. Once again a big thank you to Sydney Blake who again was kind enough to edit this oh so cheery chapter. Now as for dedications, I started this idea a bit late in the game and am going to mention a few people. Merice, Stillunknown, VinnieP, Bigurlluv, and Luvstaread all people who have been very support over the duration of this series. Now I want to put out another dedication, and that one is to all those suffer from and are affected by addiction. Both those who have managed to keep their addiction in check, and others who still battle their demons on a daily basis. I also want to mention those whose loved ones are plagued by addiction. In ways we suffer as much as they do. Living and dying with every up and down that we see those close to us go through with their daily battles and fighting that constant feeling of helplessness knowing that in the end there is very little we can do, but love them and hope for the best. As always thank you for reading Lovecraft68
I looked up from the journal and wiped at the tears that were streaming down my face. There were points when I had to wipe at my eyes to finish the last couple of pages because I kept tearing up. Giving in to them now, I set the journal down and put my head in my hands and sobbed. Finally, I grabbed the box of tissues from the nightstand and used a handful to wipe at my eyes and face until I gained some control over myself.
I picked the journal back up and stared at it. I had been right in thinking that nothing good could come of this. In fact, Mark and I had made a pact never to discuss that twenty-four hour stretch of time during which we hurt each other terribly.
Then again, underneath the pain of reliving that brutal night and the anguish of how bad off I was, there was a hint of appreciation. I felt grateful that I was here to be able to read about it. I had been so sick back then, full of such self-loathing that I really thought I would be helping my loved ones by dying. What about all the good times I'd shared with Mom since then? And my father and I got along so well now. And in spite of everything, my brother and I had not only made amends, but we were closer than ever.
Although still not as close as Mark had hoped we would be.
Pushing that thought aside, I swallowed hard and once again stared at the book. There was still a section left to go. I had written in it often in New York, using it to chronicle my final fall into disgrace and what I felt would be my ultimate release from this world and the pain it held for me.
Why stop now? Opening the book, I started flipping through the pages, looking for anything more significant than "Got fucked up again," or "Walked the street last night."
I skimmed through the entries describing my first couple of months in New York. Julie and I had taken up where we left off, becoming lovers as well as partying constantly. I shook my head as I read about bouncing from strip club to strip club, getting so messed up I couldn't even hold a job.
I lingered on the first entry that mentioned my using heroin.
From there, things had gone downhill even faster. Julie and I lost our apartment and lived with a guy who pimped us out, paying us in drugs as we used our bodies to make him money. I was once beaten so badly by a John that I spent three days in a hospital. I lied to the cops and doctors, saying I had no family.
After that, Julie and I ended up on the streets and, eventually, a homeless shelter. Even then, I was hooking. All the money I made went straight into my arm, so I didn't even care that I was sleeping on a mat on the floor with a bunch of other junkies and tragic tales.
I slowed my skimming as I found the journal entry that mentioned Julie's brother Tony. She had run from him, but he worked at the shelter and saw her there. Tony let us come live with him in his squalid apartment in Hell's Kitchen. He had been a heroin junkie himself but was clean now and trying to help others; he tried desperately to help Julie and me, tried to keep us clean and to keep the guys away from us.
There was no helping those who did not want it, however, and I still did whatever I could to keep using. Tony had hardly any money, and Julie and I would trick not just for drugs but rent. Tony tried to stop us, but we had no choice. That is, until the two of us became so used up that no one would even pay for us anymore. That was when I knew the end was coming.
I wiped my eyes again as I neared the end of the journal. I looked at an entry that mentioned trying to stay clean, not so that I could get healthy, but so that I could afford enough heroin for one last dose, enough to kill me. I started to flip forward but stopped when Tommy's name leaped out at me. Taking a deep breath, I sat back onto the bed and began to read about my last day in Hell's Kitchen.
Dark Days Part Three.
On the morning of the day I was going to die, I dreamt of my brother. We were lying in my bed on a rainy Saturday morning, and I awoke to Mark's gently kissing my shoulder. I laid there with my eyes closed, pretending to sleep, enjoying his sweet efforts to wake me. Mark moved my long black hair to the side and began to plant soft kisses across the top of my back. As his soft lips worked the smooth skin of my back, his arm encircled my waist and his hand lightly caressed my stomach.
I was facing away from him and allowed myself a smile as his strong hand slid slowly down my stomach towards my pussy. His fingers stopped just above my clit, then trailed back up my stomach.
"Awww, don't tease, little brother." I whispered.
"Faker." Mark said in my ear.
I giggled, and then moaned as my brother's hand found my left tit. After giving it a playful squeeze, his fingers began teasing my hard, pink nipple. I sighed as he nuzzled into my hair and started kissing the soft creamy skin of my neck. His arm was under my head, and he brought it up to not only play with my other tit, but to pull me back into his embrace. I wrapped my own arms around his while angling my head back to give him better access to my neck. Could it get any better than this?
It did, as, after sliding his arm out from under me, Mark rolled me over onto my back. Leaning over, his lips found mine, and I moaned in my throat as I opened my mouth to allow his tongue to enter and slide across mine. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, drawing him deeper into our long, passionate kiss. I whimpered through the kiss as Mark's hand slid between my thighs and his fingers slid into my smooth, wet pussy. I broke the kiss, unable to continue, as my brother's thumb found my clit and began rubbing it in a slow, circular motion.
Mark didn't mind me breaking the kiss; once my lips left his, he put them to an even better use: sliding his body down on the bed, his mouth found my left nipple and began teasing and sucking on it.
"Ohhh, little brother, that is soooo nice!" I cooed as I began running my hand along his powerful back and through his thick black hair.
I could feel my brother's huge, hard cock pressing against my leg. I smiled. I knew in minutes, it would be buried deep inside of his big sister's needy little pussy. Reaching down, I slid my left arm between our bodies. Mark moaned around my nipple as, after giving his cock a good hard squeeze, I started slowly stroking it. As I pumped my brother's cock with one hand, I brought my right up and started playing with my other nipple.
"I love watching that," Mark whispered around my tit as he watched my long, blue fingernails tease my pale, pink nipple.
"I wanna see too!" I said in my little girl voice. "Let me see you licking your sister's titties."
Mark laughed and I smiled at the sound of it. My brother had survived a hellish childhood, and I loved making him laugh and smile. I also loved making him cum, and that, I would do soon enough. In the meantime, Mark had propped himself up so I could watch him tonguing my nipple. Seeing me watching, Mark winked and placed just the tip of his tongue against my pink flesh.
"Other one's jealous," I said, giving him the pout that he could never resist.
I cupped my tit in my hand and made a show of pushing it up for him. Flashing me that beautiful smile that never failed to melt me, Mark leaned over and started sucking on my nipple. I gasped as the entire time my brother had been licking and sucking my tits, his hand had been busy between my legs, and I could feel my thighs starting to tremble. I started rocking my hips into my brother's plunging fingers. Sensing I was close, Mark pushed harder against my clit while increasing the speed of his fingers. I closed my thighs, pinning his hand against my pussy, and I started moaning as I felt the orgasm building within me.
Mark moaned as well, as the closer I got, the faster I was pumping his dripping prick. As I arched my back off the bed, straining to cum, Mark caught my nipple between his teeth and bit down. The sudden jolt of pain sent me over the edge, and I let out a loud squeal of pleasure. Mark groaned around my nipple as I started to jerk him off even harder while the orgasm crashed through me. I bucked my hips hard against his thrusting fingers, and I let out another loud wail, letting my brother know just how much his sister was enjoying his touch.
A moment later, I whimpered softly as the last tremors of the orgasm passed through me, and I went limp on the bed. Mark gave me a sweet kiss and started to roll over on top of me. Stopping him with my hand against his chest, I rolled over onto my side. I lifted my long leg into the air, and, taking his cue; Mark slid up behind me, hooked his arm around my thigh, and slid his huge cock effortlessly into my welcoming flesh. We both moaned as he entered me, burying his cock deep inside me and holding it there before starting to slowly thrust in and out.
"Oh yes!" I moaned as Mark started kissing my neck while he fucked me
Reaching down between my legs, I slid my hand along the length of his cock until I reached his balls. Mark groaned as I started massaging them as he fucked me. My brother's arm slid under me and, as he had before, he hugged me close to him. I gasped in pleasure as he started fucking me harder while drawing me completely into his embrace. I switched from rubbing his balls to lightly running my nails across them and smiled at the moan Mark released directly into my ear. That moan was followed by a loud gasp as I contracted my pussy even tighter around his throbbing cock. Mark began to fuck me harder and faster, and I began yelping with each deep thrust of his amazing cock.
Mark moaned again and started to slow down.
"Go ahead baby, "I whispered to him. "The folks are gone. We have all day, so just let me have it!"
Mark didn't have to be told twice, and I squealed in delight as he started fucking me hard and fast. Within minutes, he began gasping with each thrust. Sliding my hand up, I wrapped it around the base of his long, thick cock and started stroking. My brother cried out in my ear and I felt his cock explode. I released a matching cry of pleasure as I felt the inside of my pussy being sprayed with my brother's hot cum. I started pumping my hand furiously, and Mark stopped fucking me, lying still while his sister jerked him off into her pussy. Each pump of my fist released another squirt of my brother's hot, sticky fluid into me, and I moaned each time. Oh, how I loved when my brother came inside of me!
I gave his cock one more good, hard, pump and giggled as Mark gave me that adorable whimper, the one that only his big sister got to hear. I released his cock and sighed contentedly as I lowered my leg, and my brother wrapped his arms tightly around me. After a moment, Mark started to slide out of me, but I whispered, "Just stay right there, baby, I love you inside of me."
"And I love being there," Mark said softly in my ear.
We laid there, silently enjoying each other's embrace, and I sighed in pleasure as I felt my brother growing soft inside of me. Mark started to move, but I held onto his arms, keeping them around me.
"Don't get up," I whispered. "Stay here with me, please?"
"I don't think I'm tired anymore," Mark replied in my ear.
"Just stay here and hold me and you'll fall asleep, I promise." I added with a giggle, "You stay here with me, then, when I wake up again, we can go play in the shower, how's that?"
Mark laughed softly, "You drive a hard bargain, sis."
"And you drive your sister hard, little brother!" I said, laughing.
Mark laughed as well, and, to my delight, nuzzled his head into my hair and hugged me even tighter to him. We both sighed contentedly, and in a few minutes, I smiled as I heard Mark's breathing become slow and steady as he fell asleep holding his sister. I laid there awake for a couple of minutes, enjoying the feel of my brother's heartbeat against my back and the soothing sound of the rain. Closing my eyes, I thought that it truly couldn't get any better than this.
That was what I dreamt of that morning. I dreamt of my brother's sweet touch and his warm embrace. I dreamt of those wonderful Saturday mornings that we spent in my bed laughing, playing, and loving. Truly, it was my idea of heaven.
I woke up to hell.
Even though I was awake, I kept my eyes closed, wishing desperately that I could fall back to sleep and get another glimpse of my beautiful brother. As I lay there, I thought it only fitting that I had dreamt of Mark. After months of not being able to see it, I had spent the last few nights dreaming of my forest, of how beautiful and peaceful it was, and how it was waiting for me. Those dreams told me that my time was coming to an end. I had decided yesterday that today would be my last day, and the fact that I dreamt of my brother told me that I was right. It was only a dream of an old memory, but it had been a happy one, and in a way, the only real goodbye I would have.
My head jerked up and my stomach jumped at a knock on the door.
"Megan, are you awake?"
I didn't answer right away as my stomach was now twisting. Tony called out again, this time with concern in his voice.
"Megan, umm, you okay?"
I heard him try the door, but, as always, I had thrown the bolt.
"I...I'm up," I responded in the dry rasping croak that passed for my voice these days.
Hopefully, he heard me, as I didn't think that I could speak any louder.
"Okay," Tony answered. "We have to leave in a few minutes, alright?"
"Yeah, I'll be ready," I answered softly.
"Great, just making sure you were up."
I could hear the relief in his tone as he spoke. Tony knew how sick I was and had been trying to get me to go to the clinic. I refused. "I'm fine," I told himHe had looked at me sadly and simply nodded.
Tony had been a hardcore heroin addict before getting clean two years ago, and he knew that I had given up. Not only had he been that close himself, but he saw it every day in the shelter where he worked, where he had found Julie and me.
One of the many great things about Tony was that in the end, he would let people do as they felt they should. I knew he sensed I was close to the end. He'd even asked, "Are you sure you don't have family I could find for you? A friend?". For the hundredth time, I told him no, that I had no one.
As he looked away, I could see how upset he was. I'm sure the fact that his sister, Julie, was not far from being as bad off as I was didn't help matters any. Before he got up to leave my room, I grabbed his hand and told him, "I do have one friend who cares about me," and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Tony put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Try to remember that. Even one true friend is enough to get through tough times."
I thanked him and told him to go check on his sister. That was my way of telling him, "Nice try." He nodded and left me alone.
I felt my stomach convulse and rolled over onto my side. Leaning over the edge of the bed, I hung my head over the large pan I kept there and retched. I gasped at the pain in my stomach and chest as nothing came up. I tried to take a deep breath but ended up retching again, then again.I groaned as the dry heaves tore through my frail body, and finally, with a sense of relief, my stomach twisted one more time, and I coughed up some nasty looking brown bile. I let my head hang over the bed, gasping for breath and whimpering in pain, as my chest felt as if it were on fire. Finally feeling as if I could move, I pushed myself up and grimaced at the contents of the pan, I must have thrown up a couple of times last night and not remembered. I also noticed that there was blood amidst the assorted colors of phlegm and worse.
As I sat up, I felt something wet hit my arm and saw that my hair had fallen into the pan. Grabbing the edge of the sheet, I wiped it off as best I could before forcing myself to stand up. As I did, I looked down at the narrow cot that I had been sleeping on for the last three months. The mattress and sheet were stained with puke, and I saw there was a fresh spot from last night. Well, last night would be the last night, so no sense in trying to wipe it off. After glancing at the door as if someone could come in, I reached under the thin dirty mattress and pulled out the small plastic bag I had hidden there. With trembling hands, I brought the bag up to my face and stared at its precious contents.
Inside the bag was the means to my end, a gram of uncut China white heroin. I'd forced myself to stay clean for the last week to save up enough money to buy it last night. Along with the packet of heroin was a blackened spoon, a needle, and a thin rubber tube. I stared longingly at the drug as I had several times since last night. Part of me just wanted to do it now, heat up the spoon and shoot up, go to sleep one last time. Wake up to my forest where there would be no pain, only peace. No, I couldn't, not yet anyway. I had to help Tony as he had helped me. With a sigh, I slid the bag back under the mattress and made my way unsteadily over to the old beat up coffee table with a small mirror on top of it that served as my bureau.
Reaching the table, I sat down hard as my legs started to give out. I found myself wondering how the hell I was going to make the three-block walk to the drugstore in a little while. Looking down at the table, I picked up one of the half-smoked cigarettes that I had grabbed out of an outdoor ashtray last night. Just before I put it in my mouth, I noticed it had red lipstick on it. As I picked up the cheap plastic Bic lighter, I wondered if the woman who had smoked this had been pretty. I had been pretty once, but not anymore. Holding the lighter with both hands to keep it steady, I lit the cigarette and took a deep drag.
I doubled over as I was immediately beset by a coughing jag. I rested my head on the table as my eyes watered from the pain in my chest and, sitting up, disgustedly ground the cigarette out onto the scarred surface of the table. Turning my head, I spit out a glob of phlegm onto the floor and, after taking a deep breath, forced myself to look into the mirror. I felt my eyes burn, and I'm sure I would have cried if my body could come up with enough moisture to allow for tears. I was four months from my thirty-second birthday, but the haggard face looking back at me was that of an old hag.
The high cheek bones that, once upon a time, made me beautiful now stuck out of my gaunt face, giving my features a skeletal appearance. My formerly ivory complexion was a pasty white that seemed as if it were becoming grey in some spots. The full, perfect lips, the ones that many women had envied, were dry, cracked, and covered in cold sores. The long, raven black hair that was once thick and lustrous now hung limp and matted around my face. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I'd washed it.