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Click hereSpiraling Down
Jolted where I stand
Though you speak to me of
All things wise and learned
Silenced in your glaze
Of art, music
Architected angles of
Building cities bridges or
Ways of urban sprawl
You are a one way ticket
Poets, writers and artist ways
Philosophy volume in piles on
Your resume
To my undoing
Commerced immortal in financial
Portfolios of options and stocks
Accountanted reams of paper trails
Take me now in rapture
And sports as winners and losers
Kicking goal lines; dribbled on court
Measuring score
Read my lingering sensual heat
Of news and daily grind
World events and politics steaming the glass
Tempered global interconnect
Core meltdown as waned moon dissolving
Brief cased and contracted legal
With restraints of laws and moral
Captured in scent of musk powdered love
Mortared in high rise
We dissolve in nature with flesh, bone and salted breath
Gray suited in conference
Between satin and perfume and glistening eye
Elevatord down
Exhausted passion
Ground
The highest realm in aware
Floor_____________________________________________
I am unraveled before you
A Base…
M
E
N
T
E
D
(c) carol voccia 2006
yes, it took me three times reading this as well before I really got it, and appreciated the value of this poem...
Especially important was reading the left text uninterrupted. While poetry is worthwhile, unfortunately, not many people give it a chance to get to three reads. I am not sure if this is something that you as a writer should concern yourself with or not? And I am not sure what I would suggest you do. Perhaps go a little longer with just the left text, to get the feel of what is happening, to get a feel for the conversation going, give a minute before the spiral starts to take place and desire spins itself in.
I know that the intent is to give the feel of distraction, you did a great job with that :)
Enjoyed!
yes, it took me three times reading this as well before I really got it, and appreciated the value of this poem...
Especially important was reading the left text uninterrupted. While poetry is worthwhile, unfortunately, not many people give it a chance to get to three reads. I am not sure if this is something that you as a writer should concern yourself with or not? And I am not sure what I would suggest you do. Perhaps go a little longer with just the left text, to get the feel of what is happening, to get a feel for the conversation going, give a minute before the spiral starts to take place and desire spins itself in.
I know that the intent is to give the feel of distraction, you did a great job with that :)
Enjoyed!
I enjoyed your unique poem
literary Art
a spiraling descent
of poetic lines
going down
Spiraling
..........Down
(~_~)
Took a bit of work
Read it three times to make it work;
First one side then the other
Finally all together - then it meshes;
Nicely done complexity.