Starship Obama on Valentine's DaybySuperHeroRalph©
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Valentine's Day five hundred years from now...It's a woman's world.
"Captain's log, star date, 2511..."
Space, the final frontier, the voyages of the federation's USS starships are ten-year missions to explore strange, new worlds and to seek out new life forms and new civilizations. Space travelers boldly go where no woman has gone before. All of their crew of female officers and male enlistees have volunteered for the mission knowing full well the dangers, as well as the major benefit of the mission that, when they return to Earth, they will not be ten years older, but ten years younger than when they departed.
The Theory of Relativity discovered by Albert Einstein more than 600 years ago, in 1905, theorized and now since proven, once a starship, piloted by Captain Gaga, a direct ascendant of Lady Gaga, shattered the speed of light barrier, in the way that Major General Chuck Yeager shattered the speed of sound barrier, that flying at light-year speed stops time. Further, flying faster than light-year speed turns back time. The faster the starship travels, the more time the speed of it chronologically turns back of its passengers.
Of course, the ship's speed is limited to the chronological age of its pilots, officer's, and crew. A starship cannot be piloted and manned by infants. Yet, now with an extended crew, the starship speed is no longer limited to the chronological age of its pilot and crew. For those longer, deep, exploration space missions, those missions that must pass through wormholes to explore the other side and outer regions of deep space, while visiting other galaxies and stars, a starship now has multiple crews of different ages.
Those qualified elderly and retired starship commanders and crew personnel, who volunteer, are returned on board and encapsulated in personal airtight chambers, cryogenically frozen, where they are suspended in time and in space, until warmed and brought back to life, when needed. There, they are unaffected by light-year speed. When the present pilot and crew are too young to continue, a new, much older pilot and crew resumes the journey, while the current pilot and crew seek the shelter of the personal, air tight and cryogenically frozen chambers, until returning to and landing back on Earth. With multiple pilots and crews onboard that are cryogenically frozen, were it not for the limitation on reserves of fuel, the starship could conceivably travel through space forever. Yet, for most starship trips, limited to just ten years, alternative captains and crews are unnecessary, since the starship maintains a light-year speed that reverses no more than ten years of time at the end of the journey. Of course, for the purpose of deep space photographic exploration, there are longer unmanned flights in much smaller crafts.
Finally, with the fountain of youth discovered by women playing God, because starships are able to cruise at a Warp Drive speed, fast enough to reverse a year of time for every year they are out on their mission, and even dare go faster, when they need to escape the gravity of a black hole, the explosion of a supernova, or the tentacle like destructive reach of a quasar, space travel in a starship is life changing and life rejuvenating for a select few. With our intelligence, training, and education still intact, imagine traveling greater than light-year fast and being in space for so long, even longer, much longer than ten years, that when finally returning to Earth, the starship travelers are the same age as their children and even their grandchildren.
Since those aboard a starship are out in space, the perfect time and light vacuum, and not on Earth in a time machine, the time that is turned back is only relative to those aboard the starship and to their own bodies' chronological age and not to the time that passes on Earth. Even though other space travelers from other worlds, that we have not yet explored, have landed on Earth and have successfully traveled to not only the past but also to the future, we haven't reached the technological place where we can stay out in space long enough to return to Earth that far in the future. Instead, we return in the relative present.
Without doubt, it's a bit jarring to wrap your mind around, traveling faster than light, faster than time, fast enough to not only stop time but also to reverse it and turn back the clock. Yet, with the advent of starships, the reality of Warp Drive speed space travel is now routine. Maybe in another 500 years, in 3011 or sooner, the breakthrough will come to travel long enough, fast enough, and far enough in space to return to Earth far in the future. Presently, the velocity of our Warp Drive speed is limited to the materials we use to build the starship and the energy we must carry to fuel the spacecraft. Scientists continue to explore alternate fuel sources, the major one being a ship solely powered by crystals. Unfortunately, we're not there, yet.
The individual components needed to make a spacecraft strong enough to travel fast enough and far enough at a Warp Drive speed to deliver their passengers to the future, when returning to Earth, or to the past, when going forward far into outer space, has yet to be invented. Yet, riskier than it sounds, few would want to return to Earth that far in the future, after all those they knew on Earth had lived and died without them. For sure, at the very least, yet not nearly there same, there would be an interactive video record of the lives for their loves ones to view, after they returned to Earth. Then, when finally returning to Earth, as if visitors from another world and, certainly, another time, looked upon as if they are primeval aliens, who knows what they'd find on Earth, after being away from it for so very long?
Even though space exploration is dangerous, nonetheless, because of that one beauty and life longevity secret, stopping the clock and reversing time, the Federation of Starships have no shortage of female officer volunteers willing to serve and to accept their ten-year missions. A long list, too many trained and qualified women to serve, volunteer for the ten year mission yearly. Sadly, with only the cream of the crop making the cut, most qualified applicants are turned away.
Not unlike the ancient astronaut program of old that shot the first man to the moon, only one in a million women are chosen from the tens of millions of women who apply from all over the world. The scene of those women hoping to win a chance of serving on a starship dwarfs those contestants hoping to win a spot on American Idol's season five-hundred-ten. Only most women are turned away from serving because their main agenda was not to serve the starship fleet command and to be true to the mission of space exploration and new life discovery, but because they wanted to return to Earth looking refreshed and younger than when they left. Seriously, for the chance at fame and fortune that goes along with being a starship commander, even a lowly crew member, while turning back the clock, who could blame them?
Even though they volunteer for the mission every year, year in and year out, even though they are trained and qualified and have served in key administrative positions with the starship fleet command for years, the descendents of Paris Hilton, the Kardashian sisters, Heidi Montag, Joan Rivers, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and Phyllis Diller are routinely turned away from flying a mission on a starship, for obvious reasons. More qualified women are chosen over them, women who are more focused on science and space travel discovery than on age and beauty. Because genetics play such an important part and DNA samples have become part of their state of the art testing in choosing potential commanders to fly starships, and because women have been proven to be superior in every way to men for this type of dangerous and highly trained duty, only those women whose ancestors have proven that they are superior females are given special priority and reserved status to become future starship commanders.
Routinely scouted from their ranks of the world's population and given first preference to fly a starship are the female ancestors of Louisa May Alcott, writer, Susan B. Anthony, organizer, Clara Barton, nurse, Pearl S. Buck, Nobel Prize winner in literature, Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, Marie Curie, Nobel Prize winning physicist, Amelia Earhart, pilot, Elizabeth I, Queen of England, Indira Gandhi, leader of India, Melinda Gates, Gates Foundation, Shirley Jackson, Head of US Nuclear Regulatory Commission, Joan of Arc, national hero of France, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, multiple Olympic gold medal winner, Helen Keller, an inspired author and lecturer, Lady Gaga, ahead of her time, Margaret Mead, anthropologist, Mother Theresa, a living saint, Ellen Ochoa, astronaut, Sandra Day O'Connor, U. S. Supreme Court justice, Rosa Parks, civil rights activist, Dr. Sally Ride, first and youngest woman in space, Sacagawea, Lewis and Clark interpreter and explorer, Sappho, Greek poet, Margaret Thatcher, first women in European history to be elected Prime Minister, Harriet Tubman, abolitionist, Oprah Winfrey, talk show host, Babe Didrikson Zaharias, one of the greatest women athletes of all time, and of course, out of alphabetical order and given the highest of importance, Jenna Jameson, porn star. Should we meet alien life form, especially male alien life form, it's best we always put our best human foot forward and Jenna Jameson, well, what more can I say?
Shadowed by their gunship, is the USS starship, Sarah Palin, a mere light-year away, with Captain Sarah Palin, a direct ascendant of Sarah Palin's at the helm. She's a sure shot with a quick, steady, and ready trigger finger on the Star Laser, a weapon more powerful than a million hydrogen bombs. Taking the lead and true to the mission of a starship, the starship Michelle Obama goes where no woman has boldly gone before.
"Captain, for you," said Chief Petty Officer, M19, handing the captain a single red rose. An inferior creature, M19 was, nonetheless a very handsome and muscular example of the weaker sex, a man. Any woman would want to get him alone in the sex chamber for and orgasmic connection. "Happy Valentine's Day."
"Happy Valentine's Day?"
"Aye-aye, Captain, today is Valentine's Day."
As strong as he was densely dimwitted, the only reason he made Chief Petty Officer was because he once had been the plaything of Barbara Bush, the direct ascendant of President Jenna Bush, the 47th President of the United States. After having served 8 years, she won the party nomination and subsequent presidential election from Sarah Palin, the 46th President of the United States, after she succeeded Michelle Obama, the 45th President of the United States, who served 8 years, as well. Ancient history, all of that was so very long ago, hundreds of years ago.
"Where did you get that?" She took a step back from him and refused to accept the flower.
"On Earth," he said reaching out and offering her the rose again.
"You broke with protocol and snuck that onboard a starship? How dare you disobey orders. Security to the bridge," she said. Plugged into the heart of the ship, as if she was part of it, not even needing to utter the words, just having to think them, security was already on their way.
"But Captain Gaga, today is Valentine's Day, the day of love and romance. I brought this solitary symbol of affection onboard for you. I thought you'd be pleased," he said looking painfully hurt and dejected, and looking as if he was about to cry.
"You know better than to take anything aboard a starship without first having it analyzed, dissected, disinfected, and approved, especially for some obscure holiday that no one celebrates anymore, after all the flowers, along with all vegetation were wiped out from global warming centuries ago. You not jeopardized the entire crew but also the whole mission. Where did you even get that?"
"I grew it from a chemically created and genetically altered rose seed. It looks like the real thing, doesn't it? It's just a flower, Captain. It can't possibly hurt you or anyone, especially not this indestructible starship. Please accept this as my Valentine's gift to you."
"No, I cannot and I will not accept that," she backing away from him.
"It's Valentine's Day for God's sake, Captain Gaga. Have you no emotion? Have you no heart? Do you not have any feelings for me?" Heartbroken, M19 looked at the love of his life. Waiting for security to come and take him away, he stood there in silence staring at his captain. "You said you loved me."
"Love you? How dare you? I never said I loved you. If I said anything at all about love, I said that I loved your big appendage. That's different than love. I don't have time for love or for you, and certainly not for Valentine's Day. A day of love and romance when we have life changing things to do, while exploring space, new worlds, and new life forms, is pure folly and nothing but foolishness."
"You used me for sex? Is that what you did, Captain? You used me, as if I was just some plaything, a toy, that once you tired of, cast aside? How could you? I feel so abused. I feel so violated. I feel so dirty. I feel so stupid to have believed you, when you said you loved me. All you wanted to do was to get in my pants. I shall never love again," said M19 wiping a tear from his eye.
"Are you crying? There's no crying on a starship. Oh, boo hoo, you big baby. So what are you going to cry, just like the girlie man that you are?" Security entered. "Arrest this man and bring that prohibited item that he brought onboard to the lab for analysis, dissection, and destruction."
"But Captain," he said turning to look one last time at his captain before the guards escorted him away. "I'm pregnant."
"You are? Well then," said Captain Gaga, "why didn't you say that before?"
"Oh, so you do love me and you so want us to have a baby," said M19 crying happy tears.
"Take him down to medical quarters and have that life form removed from his person, before throwing him in the brig. He'll be summarily court marshaled later."
"No! You can't take my baby! You can't take our baby! I love you Captain Gaga. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day," said M19, while being taken away.
They had been away from home for years. Earth was just a place in history books, a place that was once inhabitable, that is, before global warming. Now there is only pockets on the planet cool enough and with water enough to support life, such as this one flower. Yet, it was too dangerous to leave the air conditioned, ventilated, and air filtered life pods where they lived to go outdoors. No one ventured outside anymore. It was just too hot, too dangerous, and too deadly between the heat and toxic gases.
Captain Gaga missed a lot of the customs and holiday traditions and, even though she didn't think there was anything wrong with picking one lousy rose that he grew himself and brought it back with him onboard the ship, rules are rules. She was responsible for the starship, for their crew, and for their mission and his one stupid, albeit romantic thing for Valentine's Day had jeopardized everything and everyone.
Even though all crew members are equipped with bionic arms and legs, they all still have a heart and emotions. They are all still human after all. At least he had the forethought to put it in a contamination bag, which it was in now and was in at the time he tried to hand it to the captain. Without the luster, a rose housed in a contamination bag loses the beauty and the romance behind it.
Surrendering herself to the contamination room. She and M19, as well as the security party needed to go there first to disinfect themselves. It was then she remembered what he had said. He was pregnant with her baby, their baby. Even though he was a man, even though he was dumb and as useless as a stump, she loved him, she really did. She couldn't destroy their child. God forbid it was a son, but what if it was a daughter, a potential starship captain or a star fleet commander, just like mother like daughter?
When she discovered he had lied to her, she was touched. Risking everything, but without risking the starship, the crew or the mission, he failed to tell her that he had fashioned the rose out of paper and colored it with ink. It did look real enough from the distance and from where she viewed it. Had she handled it, she would have immediately known it was just a paper rose. His intent wasn't so much to give her a Valentine's rose, but to get her in the contamination room naked.
Once stripped of their clothing, he'd make her intention known.
"Make love to me," he whispered in her ear.
"Here? Now? You know, as well as I do that the personal gratification machine is on the recreation deck and is only by appointment only and to be used, when we are off duty."
She was tempted. His cock was so big and so beautiful and she was so very hot and horny for him.
"We don't need to make an appointment with a machine to make love. We can do it the old fashion way," he said falling to his knees and licking her pussy.
"What are you doing? Stop that, M19!"
"Ralph, my name is Ralph. Please stop calling me by my star fleet designation."
"Ralph, control yourself. We mustn't do this."
"As my special gift of love to you, I'm going to eat you, Captain Gaga, for Valentine's Day."
"Get up off your knees immediately. That's an order."
"Sorry, but I can't hear you with my tongue buried in your pussy, Captain," he said licking and licking her.
"Eww. Get your tongue out of me. That's so disgusting. Do you realize how many germs are in my pussy and are on your tongue?"
"None, Captain. We've just be decontaminated and disinfected," he said removing his tongue from her to speak. Now, he was really licking her.
"Oh, my God! This is so much better than the personal gratification machine," said Captain Gaga having an orgasm. "Happy Valentine's Day. I love you, M19, I mean, Ralph."
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