I had been feeling kind of ill. Then, one day while I was at work, I went to urinate and the fire that resulted caused me to cry out in sheer agony. It burned like you wouldn't believe. Like a red-hot poker had been rammed right up my pee-hole. I also have funny little bumps all over the head of my cock too.
I left work immediately, and went to our doctor. After a thorough check-up and a few tests he called me into his office.
"I have to ask you some very personal questions Jim. They are not easy one's but the law requires it now."
I was confused for a minute...why would the law have anything to do with my agony?
"Uh...Okay I guess doc. But why?"
"Well...I'm not sure how to tell you this Jim, but you have an STD. One that is treatable and will go away, but an STD none the less."
His words hit me like they were a freight train coming through a long tunnel. I was trying to understand what he was saying, but the STD word had hit me hard. How could that be possible? I had never cheated on my wife...not even as little as touching another woman.
Yet...I had a STD.
"Jim? Jim? Are you okay?"
"Hell no I'm not okay doc! How could I have gotten a STD? I have never cheated on my wife, nor have I been with another person sexually at all. I've not kissed anyone else either. How could I have gotten this? From a toilet seat? What?"
"Uh...well Jim...some of the questions I'm going to ask you are about all that. Who have been your sexual partners lately?"
"My wife...she is the only...my wife...I've only been with...my...Oh...I think I'm going to be..."
I bent over, my stomach in knots. He shoved a small trashcan in front of me from the side of his desk. I threw up. It took some time before I could regain my composure. My wife...it had to have been my wife that gave me this STD.
The shock of the knowledge that my wife had given me a STD was complete. The doctor had been our doctor for years; he had delivered our kids, all three of them. His look was one of extreme sorrow.
"I'm sorry Jim. Usually...I mean...well...I figured that you may have...what with your traveling so much...I'm sorry."
"So...what do I have to do now doc? I mean...my wife obviously has been cheating on me, or not telling me something quite important. What's the next step?"
"I need to know who her partners have been. You have to be totally honest with me too Jim. If you have been with someone else..."
"I told you doc. I've never...ever been with another woman...or man for that matter."
I added that man part since he gave me a look that foretold he was going to ask that next.
"Then, we have to assume that your wife gave it to you. You will need to tell her and then have her come in for treatment. Hopefully it will not be progressed to the point where it isn't treatable for her. She will have to tell us who she has been with...and if it has been more than one person...all of those people."
"Why would you have to know that?"
"We'll need to contact everyone she's been with sexually, and let them know...they have a right to know. The CDC will require it too. They'll be notified, and I'm sure an investigator will check into it all as well."
I sat there, the knowledge that my straight-laced and oh-so-proper wife had cheated on me and given me a STD. My marriage...what was going to happen when I got home? What would she say? Why? Why had she gone outside of our loving marriage?
We had been married for fifteen years, and our kids were just now getting into the age where I could see just her and I being able to go and do things together. Alone. Obviously, she had other plans already.
I left the doctors office after he talked to me. He was worried that I might go over the top and do something stupid, but truthfully, my mind was so numb I just couldn't have done anything at that time. I went home, early for the first time in months. Arriving there, I found her car gone and I had the house to myself. The kids were still in school and would be for the next three hours.
I sat there, not able to have a drink that I desperately wanted, but due to the antibiotics I was taking, I couldn't have. I sat there in my chair in the living room...numb and silent. I went over the last years with my wife wondering how and when she had decided to step out of our vows and be with another. I wondered if I hadn't been enough for her.
My mind was toast. I heard the front door open...and her laugh as she walked in. A laugh that stilled when she saw me sitting there in the chair. Her boyfriend was right behind her and he looked like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Oh...Jim...what are you doing home in the middle of the day?"
"Tell lover boy that he gave you an STD, whore."
I was getting angry. Had she had the nerve to have been fucking this asshole in my bed? Had she been so callous that she was giving her love to another in the house I had paid for? I was about to blow up.
"Jim...what are you talking about?"
"You...cunt." I hissed those words out, so angry that I was barely able to contain myself. "You gave me an STD...and I had to go to the doctor today because my dick was on fire. Asshole there gave you a STD. You need...you both need to go in and see a doctor...now."
"How dare you call me a..."
"Cunt? That's what you are, whore. You, my supposedly faithful wife, have been fucking some asshole and he gave you a STD. One that I could have only gotten from you since I, your legal and rightful husband and lover have never cheated on you. You...you...just go...get the hell out. Go to the doctor and get checked out. Whore. You fucking...whore."
She burst into tears, knowing that she had been caught, and now she had a STD on top of that. I just collapsed into my chair that I had stood up from while yelling at my cheating bitch of a wife. Her lover turned and almost ran to his car. He was for sure headed to a doctor. He hadn't known about the STD and I began to wonder if he had in fact, given it to her. Had she gotten it somewhere else?
"I'm so sorry...Jim...I didn't know...it just...happened...and..."
"I told you whore...get the fuck out and go to the doctor. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses of how somehow it was my fault or that you slipped because of some stupid lapse in judgment. Just get the hell out and tell the doctor whom you've been fucking. He'll need to know."
Suddenly I was so tired. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. I wanted to be alone and sleep. Janice stood there still crying, but seeing that I was not going to talk anymore, she finally turned and left. A bit later I heard our car, my car actually, start and pull out of the driveway.
I sat there, my life in shreds. All in one morning in one, foul, dark day. I had gone from happily married man to that darkened and morose man wronged. My wife had cheated on me. She had gotten a STD. Fifteen years...shot down the drain. I needed that drink, and regardless of what the doctor had told me, I made myself a double scotch. It didn't last long at all. Neither did the next four.
Later, sitting on our bed, I heard the kids come home. Janice hadn't shown back up. They came in and seeing me in my suit sitting on the bed half drunk, started to ask questions.
"Daddy...why are you home so early? Are you okay? You've been drinking!" Sarah was worried.
"Dad...what's wrong?" James was shocked at seeing me as I was.
I looked at my three kids, two girls and a boy. Sarah, James, and little Beth. Sarah, almost fifteen now, was looking at me like she knew something and was afraid to tell me. James was truly confused as to why dad was home and drunk. Beth, at eight, was concerned that I might get sick in front of them.
"Don't puke dad. I'll go get you a bowl or something. Just don't puke in front of me."
"I won't Beth. Look...kids...I came down with something that your mother may have passed on to me. She's at the doctor now getting checked out. She'll be home soon. You just go do your homework and whatever. Things will be...it will all work out."
James and Beth left the bedroom, relieved to be out of the way. I must have looked a sight to them. They had never seen me drunk before, ever. I was ashamed of myself at that moment too. I loved my kids with my whole heart and I had tried to instill into them right from wrong, and that honesty was paramount in life. I noticed at that point that Sarah was still with me. She had sat down on the bed, a bit away from me, but still she sat there. I looked at her and it took me a moment to realize she was crying.
"Sarah, honey...what's wrong? It won't be a big deal. Just a little bug I'm sure. It will be all right."
"No...dad...it won't. I should have told you last month...I should have told you."
So softly she had spoken, it took me a bit to understand her words.
"What should you have told me dear?"
"About mom...and some...guy. I saw them together. I was supposed to have been at school, but it was cancelled due to that power outage...I got home at nine in the morning, not too long after Beth had left for her school. I came in quietly because I wanted to have a bit of time to myself before mom made me do any housework. I heard her in the guest bedroom making some kind of noises...I peeked in...and she was there...he was...on top of her...she was begging...oh God...I'm so sorry dad."
She broke down and cried hard. I pulled her into my arms and held her, stroking her hair. She had caught her own mother fucking some guy in the guest bedroom. For some strange reason I was a bit relieved. Perhaps because I had thought about the fact that she had been unfaithful and might have fucked some guy in our marriage bed. Now it seemed like she may not have...at least it appeared that way at the moment.
Sarah cried for quite some time then she got up at my urging and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I sat there wondering what was next? What did I do next? I had only loved one woman in my life...Janice...and she had betrayed me. What did I do now? Divorce? Leave town? Kick her out? What?
I was empty and alone inside. My best friend and trusted partner in life had stabbed me in the back, leaving me vulnerable and hurting. Sarah put together a dinner for everyone. I wasn't hungry, but I sat with them as they ate. James was full of questions, but Sarah gave him a look that shut him up. I wasn't ready for any questions at the moment.
The kids all took off after eating, just as they heard my car pull up in the driveway. Sarah hung back...and as if reading my mind...reassured me about them.
"Dad...if it comes to a divorce between you and mom...we want to be with you. She's...changed...a lot."
"Thank you honey. I'm not sure what's going to happen now...but I'll remember what you told me."
Janice walked into a very quiet house.
"Jim? Are you here? Jim?"
"In the kitchen."
She came in with a look of sadness and guilt that I had never seen on her face before. Sitting down across from me at the table I saw tears running down her face. She was playing with the car keys, fumbling them around.
"So...what did the doctor find out?"
"I...I have...I got an STD. I gave it to my one love in life...I...Oh God...I...so...I'm so sorry Jim. I never meant to hurt you...it just..."
I didn't want to hear her lies, her excuses. I just didn't want to see or hear her at all right then. I did want to beat her senseless or perhaps even, in my state, something more harsh. In an effort to prevent my doing any of those things I had to get away from her.
"Look, it's too late for you to find another place to stay tonight...you can sleep in the guest bedroom. Go get your things...all of your things and put them in there. I have to go into work tomorrow and make some arrangements for vacation time. We'll talk...some other time."
I got up and left the room. I went into my den, my sanctuary. Sitting there at my desk I broke down and cried...like a baby. I heard Janice moving things around and soon it grew quiet. I got up and went into the bedroom...seeing empty closet, empty shelves, and dresser drawers open...empty as I felt. Empty. My life was empty. Except for my kids...I had nothing I valued anymore.
Sleep was not possible, and in the morning when I got up I felt like hell. I showered and went in to work. I was there before anyone else and in the quiet of the morning, I made a decision. One that would effect my whole family for a long, long time. Making a few phone calls I arranged some things.
Later, I was able to get three weeks vacation and left work. At home, Janice was sitting in the living room, alone. I could see she had been crying, red eyes and used tissues laying on the end table. I stood there, just inside the front door, looking at her. All those years of our lives together flashing in my mind. I wondered what had happened to us?
"Jim...I'm...What...Where do we go from here? I know you must hate me. I've not been a good wife lately. I never let them take me in our bed...I mean...we never..."
"Them? As in more than one Janice? You really are a whore then. You couldn't just fuck around on me with one guy...you had to do a whole bunch? God...I thought I knew and understood you all this time. Did you ever love me? Ever?"
"Oh...I've always loved you Jim. The others...I can't explain why...I just...I was lonely...I felt ugly...old. John...he was the first...he made me feel alive and beautiful. He treated me like a queen. Then...he...had me where he wanted me...not that I complained...and the next thing I knew...there were other men...and God help me...the more wilder it got, the more I loved it. Until now...knowing what I've done to you and the kids...Oh...God..."
Head in her hands, shoulders shaking hard as she cried. I stood there, still in the entryway...so many mixed emotions crashing inside me. Hate, anger, fear, and even love. Yes...I still loved her, even though she had broken my heart. It all happened so fast, I had no choice but to love her yet. I was sure that was going to change though. Very soon.
"Look, what you did is about the worst thing you could have possibly done. Not just me, not just the kids...but to you too. I don't understand why, and frankly, I really don't want details either. You cheated on me, with more than one man. You got a disease...a sexually transmitted disease. Now you're sorry...but I can't help but think you're sorry that you got caught or got a disease. Not that you cheated on me. Just that I caught you."
"That's not true. I never meant to hurt you Jim. I've always loved you above everyone else. Always."
"So much so that you found other men to fill a void that I evidently haven't been filling for you, huh Janice?"
"Don't be cruel Jim. I know I have really messed up things between us. I know that you have every reason to hate me. Is there...is there any hope for us at all now? I still love you so much. I really do. I can't live without you Jim. I can't."
"Then you have a problem Janice. You have put me in a position that I never imagined I would be in. I have always been faithful to you...even while out on the road and faced with many temptations, I never...ever strayed. Then I find that my loving wife has strayed. Not only with one man, but many. On top of that she gave me a sexually transmitted disease. I loved you too...up until this moment. I'm sure that love is dead though Janice. I don't think I can ever forgive you for this."
"Oh Jim...please don't say that. Please...we can work it out. I'll never cheat on you again. I'll do anything to stay with you. Anything at all."
"You already had a chance and you blew it. How can I be sure that you'll never cheat on me again? I never would have thought you would have to begin with Janice. Yet you did. I couldn't ever trust you, at least for a long time. What kind of life would that be for you or me? I'd always be checking up on you...making sure you weren't out and about with some asshole. I'd always have doubts about you and your faithfulness. I can't see us getting past that Janice. I've thought about it last night and today. For now, you can stay here, in the guest bedroom. But if I were you I'd plan on finding another place to live shortly."
"Nooooo...please...Jim...one more chance is all I'm asking for. Please?"
She was sobbing hard now. Her shoulders shaking as she begged me for that one more chance. I didn't feel anything for her though. Nothing at all.
"I think not Janice. I gave you fifteen years...the best fifteen years of my life, and you threw them all away for some gratification that I guess I couldn't give you somehow. Some excitement that you couldn't get from me. You blew it Janice, not me. You did this to us."
"Let me explain...if I told you how it all happened..."
"I don't want to hear your story of how you cheated on me. Somehow you will try to twist it to being my fault and I will not accept that. I was here for you, loving you completely, never have I not been here for you. I was traveling a bit in my job, but I still would work things out to be with you as much as I could. You just couldn't live with that I guess. Other men were what you wanted...now you can have them. I hope they give you satisfaction Janice. You'll never get it from me again."
We lived together for the next two months. During that time I found out what had started this all, and that was that Janice had gotten bored with our love life. One day while I was on a trip she had gone out with one of her single friends. They had gotten picked up in a bar by a couple of guys and before she knew it, she was waking up naked in bed with her guy.
Janice blamed alcohol and me. The alcohol for loosening her up and causing her to not think straight. Me for being gone too much. Fact was I was hardly out of town overnight. Maybe once a month and usually only for one night. We had a blow out fight over her admission and things got worse.
One night she came home with a 'date' and took him into the guest bedroom where she had been sleeping. I came home to Sarah sitting on the porch with her brother and sister in her arms. They had been crying.
"What's going on kids?"
"Mom brought a date home dad...they're making so much noise we had to come out here."
I went inside and kicked in the door to the bedroom. Startled, the guy between her legs was confused for a moment. Janice looked into my eyes and then she started to cry. The guy finally got up and began to bluster, threatening me. I grabbed him by the neck and kneed him in his groin. He bent over, in pain and I pulled him forward and shoved him onto the floor.
"When you get up, get dressed and get the fuck out of my house. If you don't leave within two minutes of getting up, you will regret it. Deeply."
Janice started trying to talk to me.
"Jim...it's not what you think. I...I..."
"What I think doesn't matter any more Janice. You're out of here. I will not tolerate you bringing your men here to my home. Our kids are out on the porch for Christ's sake. You were making too much noise for them. You just cut it forever with me and I'll never forgive you for this...you...you...whore. We're finished for sure now."
Our divorce was short and there was no fight from Janice. I ended up with the house and kids. She got a bit of my retirement, not much, and half the savings we had, and her car. Other than that, it was pretty straightforward. My lawyer told me I could have done better, but we had spent at least ten years together where she had been faithful to me, I supposed, and I felt a need to do right by her for that.
The kids...well they missed their mother, but they were angry with her for cheating on me too. Sarah had seen her, but later I found out that James and Beth had also seen her with other men at different times too. It was hard on us for a while. Janice was allowed to see them a couple days a month, and a week in the summer. They never wanted to go with her though. Sarah would treat Janice like shit the whole time.