Susan Ch. 03

SUSAN Chapter 3 MOVING ON

For the next couple of weeks Susan called my office everyday after I had left for the day and she would leave nasty messages for me. When I didn't respond to them Susan stopped calling.

When I hadn't heard from Susan in a month I began to wonder what she was doing. Had she given up on us? For that matter had I given up? I needed to find out but I couldn't call her so I started spying on her.

I began driving by the house in the evening to see if she was home. Occasionally I waited outside her office till she left work and I would follow her to see where she would go. I continued this until one Wednesday night I followed her from her office to a bar that I often frequented. I guessed that she was hoping I would be there. I waited twenty minutes before I went in so that when she saw me she wouldn't know I was following her.

As I entered the bar I tried to spot her without appearing to be looking for anyone. I spotted her before she saw me. That's because she was busy at the time. Susan was sitting in a booth with a man I didn't know. He had his arm around her and they were sitting with there heads very close together as they talked. This did not appear to be a casual meeting.

I wondered if this was a plan to make me jealous, but how would she know that I would come in on this particular night. Wednesday night was not a night I usually went out for drinks.

I didn't know what to do. I was trying to decided if I should stand around until Susan noticed me or should I leave and not let her know I saw her. The one thing I knew I wouldn't do was go over to the table and speak to her. I had just decided to leave and had started toward the door when Susan looked over and saw me. I could tell by the expression on her face that she had not wanted me to see her. We made eye contact. I continued to stare at her until she looked down at the floor. After that I quickly left. I didn't want to make either of us any more uncomfortable than I already had.

When I got back to my apartment I fixed myself a strong drink and sat down to think about what had happened. Had Susan given up on us and decided to move on with her life. I was the one who left her. I'm the one who should be moving on. I decided right then that I was going to start dating again. In spite of my decision I felt like I had just lost something important to me. I figured that this was at least partly my fault. I was the one who decided that I needed to trick Susan into changing and now I guessed that my plan didn't work.

All day that Thursday I felt sick. I don't know if the drinks I had the night before were part of the problem or not but I was sure that I was feeling the loss of Susan more that I thought I would. All this time I had thought that I had the upper hand but I was wrong.

Some how I managed to get through the day and was in the process of clearing off my desk and getting ready to go home when the phone rang. To my shock it was Susan. When I answered the phone she just said, "It's me."

I didn't know how to react so I kept as calm as I could and said, "Hi."

"About last night."

"What about last nigh?" I tried to sound like it wasn't important to me to know anything about last night.

"I didn't want that to happen... I mean, I didn't want you to see me with him."

"You wanted to keep it a secret? If you had hoped to save our marriage by sneaking out with other men behind my back... that is not the way to do it."

"Well it's just that we haven't talked in so long, well, I was beginning to think we would never get back together. Then I met Kevin at work and he asked me out. He seemed nice so I accepted. I guess I just don't want to be alone anymore."

"Did you have sex with him?"

"No. And if I did, why would that be any of your business?"

"I am just trying to understand where I stand."

Susan said, "I'd like to know where you stand too."

"Are you going out with him again?"

"Yes. He is taking me out to dinner Saturday."

"Are you going to sleep with him?"

"I don't know. I am not thinking that far ahead. I just thought I owed it to you to tell you what's going on."

I said, "Maybe this is the right thing to do. I am going to start dating again. I guess it might be time for us to move on with our lives."

"You're just saying that to try and make me jealous?"

"Now why do you have to get like that? We are having a good conversation and you start getting nasty. Am I the only person that brings that trait out in you?"

"I'm sorry, you're right that was uncalled for and I apologize. So now what do we do?"

"I guess we move on and see what happens."

"Can I call you again?"

"Sure.'

There was a moment of silence then Susan said, "I love you." Then she hung up before I could respond.

I sat starring at the phone for a few minutes while I digested our conservation. Then I began making a mental list of the women I knew that I would like to go out with, then I eliminated those that were married, attached or that I knew wouldn't go out with me and ended up with a rather short list with Susan's name on the top.

All that Saturday I could think of nothing else except that Susan was going out with this Kevin person that night and that she could end up having sex with him. I thought about calling her and asking her not to go out with him, but if I did that I would be a loser. It wouldn't be any good if it wasn't her choice.

At seven o'clock that evening I couldn't stand it any longer so I got in the car and drove over to the house. I got there at 7:30, just in time to see Susan and her date getting into his car and pulling away from the curb. Unfortunately they were headed in the opposite direction so I couldn't get turned around in time to follow them. I drove around to all of the restaurants that I knew Susan liked but didn't spot the silver Corvette that Kevin was driving at any of these places.

Feeling defeated the only thing I could think of to do was go back to the house and wait to see if Susan would come home and if she did would she invite Kevin into the house. I parked the car around the corner and walked back and went into the back yard. I used my keys to unlock the back porch and went in and sat. From the porch I could see out into the street so I'd be able to see Kevin's car when it pulled into the driveway. I looked at my watch. It was just after nine o'clock. I had been driving around for an hour and a half. It was dark on the porch so I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep because the next sound I heard was a car door closing. I looked out to the street and there was the silver Corvette. It was now eleven o'clock. I got up close to the window and looked into the house. I saw Susan and Kevin come into the living room and Kevin sat on the sofa. Susan disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. While she was gone I took a good look at Kevin. When he entered the room he appeared to be about six feet five inches tall with a very athletic body. He had dark brown hair, which was cut short. He had the good looks of a movie star and the body of a professional athlete and his clothes and car said that he had a lot of money. I couldn't compete with this guy.

When Susan came back into the room she was carrying two glasses of wine. I sat and suffered while I watched the two of them talking and drinking there wine. It must have been at least a half hour before Kevin leaned over and kissed Susan. Right then I wanted to rush in and stop them but I couldn't.

Kevin took his time. He spent a lot of time just kissing Susan before he began to move his hands to her breasts. When he did Susan made no attempt to stop him. Kevin massaged her breast from outside her clothes for a short time then as he was kissing her, he began to unbutton Susan's blouse. Kevin soon had Susan's blouse open and he was kissing the tops of her breasts. When Kevin reached around behind Susan's back to unhook her bra, Susan leaned forward to make it easier for him.

As I watched Kevin take Susan's nipple in his mouth I felt an actual pain in my heart. I didn't feel angry, just hurt. I guessed that when I had decided I couldn't be with Susan unless she changed I knew that this could happen. I could lose her to another man. I didn't want to watch her make love to Kevin but I couldn't turn away. As I continued to watch, Susan slid down on the sofa and Kevin went down with her. He was still sucking on her breasts as he began sliding his hand up Susan's leg. When he got to the hem of her skirt Susan reached down and stopped him. My heart literally jumped. Maybe she wasn't going to make love to him. Kevin removed his hand from her leg and continued loving her breasts and kissing her face and neck.

After one particularly long kiss Kevin again began to run his hand up Susan's leg again, only this time when he reached the hem of Susan's skirt she didn't stop him. As a mater of fact, as his hand disappeared under her skirt Susan spread her legs farther apart. I could now see the white strip of cotton between Susan's legs. As Kevin's hand move up her leg Susan's skirt began to rise up also and soon her panties were completely exposed. When Kevin slipped his hand inside Susan's panties I wanted to cry while at the same time I had a tremendous erection. I couldn't understand how I could be both upset and sexually aroused watching another man make love to my wife.

After fingering Susan for what seemed like an eternity to me Kevin sat up and began to pull Susan's panties off. As soon as he had them off Kevin put his head between Susan's legs and began giving her oral pleasure. I could tell by the way Susan was laying with her head back that she was enjoying Kevin's attention. I think I saw her have an orgasm then shortly after that she pulled Kevin up. He quickly removed his clothes. As he turned toward Susan I got a look at his erection. I was relieved to see that he wasn't any better endowed then me. Once his clothes were off Kevin wasted no time getting his cock inside Susan's pussy. As I watched this man's ass bouncing up and down between my wife's legs a strange thing occurred to me. Rather than feeling resentment about Susan fucking this guy I was feeling relief that I didn't have to watch her suck his cock. I watched them go at it until I saw Kevin make several quick hard strokes into Susan then he stopped and they just held on to each other. At that point I decided that I had seen enough and I slipped quietly out of the porch and headed back to my car.

When I got home I felt numb. I poured myself a drink and sat down in front of the television. The next thing I knew I was crying.

After that night I stopped following Susan.

The next time I saw Susan was five weeks later. She showed up at my apartment one night unexpectedly. She said she needed to talk to me. I let her in and fixed us both a drink and we sat down in the living room. Susan was on my sofa and I sat across from her in a kitchen chair (I didn't have much furniture). I asked her how she was and she said she was fine then I asked about Kevin.

Susan replied, "That's what I want to talk to you about. Kevin went out of town on business two weeks ago and wont be back for another two weeks. Before he left he ask me if I would move in with him when he got back."

I could feel the pain in my chest. "What did you tell him?"

"I said that I needed time to think it over and he suggested that I could make my decision while he was away."

I said, "I guess you're here because you made your decision, is that right?"

"Yes. I've decided to tell him yes."

"Well, I guess that's it then, we need to start divorce proceedings then don't we? I had hoped that you would make the effort to stay with me."

"I'm sorry. I just can't be the person you want me to be." When she said this Susan began to cry. "Shit. I didn't want to break down." Now her whole body was shaking.

I went to her and sat down and hugged her and said, "It's all right. I guess I saw this coming a long time ago. Even though we couldn't work things out a part of me will always love you."

When I said that Susan turned her face up and looked me straight in the eye and said, "I will always love you too." Then she kissed me gently on the lips. I don't know what came over us but the next thing I knew we were kissing each other passionately. Our tongues were probing each others mouths and I was running my hands up and down her back.

When it struck me what was happening I pulled back and said, "We shouldn't be doing this, it will just make things more difficult."

Susan just looked at me and said, "Make love to me. I need you tonight."

I couldn't say no to that invitation. My need was great and I wasn't in a mood to be gentle. I immediately began opening the buttons on Susan's blouse as I tongue kissed her. As soon as I had her breasts exposed I started on her pants. When I opened her pants and began to pull them down I pulled her panties down with them. Once I had Susan naked I quickly stripped and sat on the sofa next to her again. Then I pulled her head down to my cock. I wanted her to suck my cock because she didn't suck Kevin's cock the night I watched them. I don't know why this was important to me. Susan didn't object. She had me ready to climax in just a few minutes. I pulled out because I didn't want to cum in her mouth. I waited a minute to calm down before I push my cock inside her pussy. When I was finally inside her we both started banging together as hard as we could. We had never had sex this violently before. I guess because of the circumstance we both wanted this to be about sex not about making love.

After ten minutes of slamming into each other Susan had an orgasm and when she did she flexed her vagina mussels in such a way that it triggered my orgasm and I spewed my load in her.

When we were done neither of us could look the other in the eye. Susan said, "I think I had better leave" and I agreed.

When she was dressed and on her way out of the door she turned to say something but didn't. I could see the tears starting again. Then she turned and left.

After she left I didn't know how I felt. I though over everything that happened then said out loud "If she wants a fuckin divorce, she'll have to come ask for it." I had to put Susan out of my mind and get on with my life.

Another six weeks went by with out hearing from Susan.

It was a Friday afternoon and I was returning to my office from a meeting. As I walked by my secretary she said, "There's a delivery for you in your office."

When I walked into my office I was surprised to see a courier envelope on my desk. The note in the envelope read: "Dear Jamie, I need to talk to you. Would you please have dinner with me tonight? I will be waiting for you at Marie's at seven o'clock. I would understand if you don't want to see me but this is very important. Hope to see you tonight. Love Susan."

I wasn't sure what to make her note. I decided to have dinner with her to find out she was up to.

When I arrived I found Susan sitting at a table for two situated in the quietest part of the restaurant. She smiled brightly when she saw me. I guessed that was a good sign. When I sat down Susan said, "Thank you for coming. I was thinking that we should have dinner first and then we can talk. Is that all right with you?"

"That's fine."

Before I could say another word the waiter appeared and started telling us about the specials and then took our drink orders. When he left Susan asked how I had been. I told her I was fine and ask her how she was and she said, "I'm good." Then Susan started chatting about work and some funny things that had happened recently and I told her some of the things that had been going on in my life over the last several weeks.

As we talked it struck me that up until this moment Susan and I had never had just a simple conversation about what was going on in our lives. I found that I was really enjoying her company. Maybe Kevin was good for her.

After a wonderful dinner we sat drinking our wine, still talking and laughing and enjoying ourselves. Then it occurred to me that I didn't ask her about Kevin. So I asked, "How is Kevin?'

Susan said, "That's over."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Anyway, I think it's time I get to what I wanted to talk to you about."

I had been thinking that she was going to ask for the divorce but now with Kevin out of the picture I wasn't sure what she wanted from me.

Susan said, "I guess the best thing to do is say this straight out. I'm pregnant."

I said, "Your what?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Your kidding."

"I'm not."

"How far along are you?"

"About a month and a half. I am so scared I don't know what to do. I don't want a baby but I don't think I could handle going through an abortion by myself."

"You want to have an abortion and you want me to help you get through it, is that the idea?" "Yes. I need you to help me."

I asked, "Why isn't Kevin going through this with you. You did tell him didn't you?"

"Why should I tell him?"

I said, "Because he's the father isn't he? You should talk to him before you abort his baby."

"I know I should talk to the father before I abort this baby. That's why I am talking to you."

I said, "You want me to go with you to talk to the father?"

"No stupid. You are the father."

"I'm the father? How the hell could I be the father?"

Susan said, "Have you forgotten the night I came to you apartment when Kevin was away?"

"Okay, so we spent one night together, how can you be sure that it was me that got you pregnant?"

Susan took a deep breath and said, "Let me explain. After Kevin left to go on that trip I ran out of my birth control pills. I didn't refill my prescription right away because Kevin was going to be gone all month and I didn't think I would need them. I was planning on refilling the prescription before he came home. I never planned for what happened when I came to your apartment that night."

"Are you sure you didn't get pregnant when Kevin got back to town?"

"I never saw Kevin again. After that night in your apartment I knew I couldn't be with Kevin. I could never love him the way I loved you."

"Is this some trick of yours? What are you trying to pull here?"

Susan broke down and began to cry as she spoke, "Over the last sever weeks I have learned a lot about myself. You are right. I have been a shrew. I realized how selfish I am and that's one reason I can't have this baby. I could never take proper care of a baby it would interfere with my life to much. I am not lying to you about this. I would never lie about something this important."

I sat quietly for a few minutes thinking about everything Susan had just said. I didn't know why but I believed her. I though about what I should do and made a decision. I said, "Susan, I am going to help you. I'll help because I believe that I am the father of your baby and because a part of me still loves you. I am going to move back into the house with you. We can sleep in separate rooms but I will be there to help you through this pregnancy."

Susan said, "I told you I can't go though this pregnancy. I can't take care of a baby."

I said, "You can and will have this baby and I will be there to help raise this child because it is my baby too. I will not let you end this pregnancy."

Susan said, "I'm too scared."

"I'll be with you."

It's funny, I moved back into the house into the guest bedroom and within a month I began to notice two things about Susan. First her belly was getting larger and second and more important the nice Susan was around more and more as time went on. It was shortly after that that I came home from work one evening to find that Susan had removed all of my clothes from my bedroom. When I asked her what she did with them she said , "I put them in your old closet in our bedroom. You have to move in with me so we can fix the other bedroom into a nursery.