It had been a long time since I had a quiet moment to myself. I had been going to school for six straight semesters, plus summer and winter sessions, working on a double major in architecture and environmental studies. I also worked part time as a waitress at a local cafe, and would have stayed in town to pick up some extra shifts, but my warm-hearted boss insisted I take the week off.
At first I toyed with the idea of going to Cancun with some of my friends, but I doubted that it would give me the rest I needed. Besides, I was sick of the party scene, the same old get drunk and hook-up routine that I had never dared to complete. At 21, I was still a virgin by choice, waiting for the right man to come along.
Thoughts of my parents cabin in the north woods of Wisconsin came to mind, and once there, the idea was firmly latched. My mom, step-dad, step-brother and I used to vacation there when I was still living at home, but it had been years since I had experienced the tranquility of the woods, lake and rustic cabin. I didn't need to check in with the folks, they were both busy professionals and not planning a trip up north till summertime. When I left for college, they gave me a key and told me to use the space as if it were my own.
In revolt against my normal never-stop, studious self, I left all my textbooks at home. In their place I brought a few novels I had been wanting to read, my journal, a stack of great music, and a few DVDs that I swiped from my roommate's stash. In case I needed to run to town, I brought one change of clothes. Otherwise, I planned to spend the entire week in the raw. Rarely did I have an opportunity to go around naked outside of my bedroom, but I love the feel of air, sun and water on my naked skin, the freedom without the restriction of clothes.
The four hour drive was uneventful. I took my time, singing with my music, and made it to the small town nearest the cabin about noon. I stocked up on groceries for the week and enjoyed the scenic half hour drive through the deep woods. The cabin was two miles off an unmarked dirt road, the nearest neighbor was a cabin on the other side of the lake.
The cabin itself was a simple one bedroom log cabin. The main room had several couches and a large fuzzy rug in front of the stone fireplace. There was a television and DVD player, but it was kept tucked away in a cabinet.
The room was spacious and lead right into the kitchen, from wood floor to tile. There was a large round table where my family shared our meals together, and sometimes held evening card games. Out back was a large screened in porch that offered a great view of the lake. While my folks enjoyed the simple life out here, my mom had insisted on one modern ammenity a few years back: a jacuzzi hot tub installed in the open air, next to the screened in porch.
I opened all the doors and windows to let the cabin air out, brought in my bags from the car, and stripped out of my jeans, t-shirt, bra and undies. I smiled at myself in the full length mirror, my curves ample but my body tight. I itched to share it with someone, but after almost going all the way with a total jerk five years ago, I vowed to wait for love.
The thought made me sigh. Though I knew I would savor my time alone, deep down I wish I had a love to share it with. My body had been ready for years, and it was only through a great variety of masterful self-pleasure skills that I was able to stand firm.
I unpacked, made myself a veggie sandwich, and went for a long swim in the warm lake. I got out to enjoy the sunset on the beach, the fading daylight kissing my naked skin. I lay on the towel with my legs partly spread, and enjoyed the rush of cool air into to my hot little slit. A drop of water trickled down from my thigh and tickled my sensitive nub. My hand followed it, making lazy circles at first, then as I heated, my fingers rubbed it furiously, quickly bringing me to a pleasant little orgasm.
As was often the case, that first orgasm did not sate me but rather made me want for more. I gathered my towel and suntan oil and headed back to the cabin, and popped in one of my roommate's DVDs. My roommate Chelsea had an affection for older adult films. Most of her collection came from the 60's or 70's, and in sharp contrast to most of the hard core fuck scene after fuck scene of modern porn, these films all had story lines and substance. They drew you in, teased you, but always delivered in the end.
Chelsea and I had watched some together before, our fingers invariably slipping under our skirts before the show was over. I had come to enjoy them as much as Chelsea; the actors were natural and knew how to act, and there was no doubt they took real pleasure in the love scenes.
I stretched out on the sofa with a set of toys in handy reach. Though I was still a virgin, I had broke my own hymen many years ago, though I was careful to only use smaller dildos and vibrators, as I did not want to be all stretched out before I had a chance to experience a real cock.
As the film heated up, so did I, reaching for a small rubber dong that I had named Pedro. I coated Pedro in a thin layer of baby oil before rubbing him up and down my slit. My juices started flowing and I pushed him deep within me, my right hand fingering my clitoris while my left plunged the dong in and out. As I did not have to worry about sound, I let my cries ring out over the cries of the lovely little brunette on the screen. We came together not once but twice, and for the moment, I was fully satisfied.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I head a throat clear behind me, "Um, hi Kylie," a familiar voice said. Pedro still embedded deeply within me, I reached for the nearest item with which to cover myself up: a small throw pillow. On the screen, my friends were experimenting with anal sex.
My pale cheeks now blazing read, I did not turn to greet Erik, my step-brother. "Could you give me just a minute of privacy, please?" I asked.
"Why? I thought you were done," he teased.
"Out. Now." I said, and he wordlessly stepped out the door.
In a flash I had removed Pedro, turned off the film and threw on my clothes. "Can I come in now?" Erik asked with the door cracked.
"Yeah, go ahead." Erik came in with a few bags, looking tired but with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes.
"Sorry to interrupt your little party," he said.
Fuck, how much had he seen? I tried to be nonchalant, "I do wish you would've shown up a half hour later," I said, though I knew even if he had, he would have walked in on something. "But it's good to see you," I said. I wanted to give him a hug, but that somehow felt too intimate at the moment, given what he walked in on.
Apparently he didn't care, because he walked over and gave me a giant bear hug, lifting me off the ground. My mom and his dad had gotten married when I was three, and he was six, so we had grown up together like brother and sister. Except that we got along better than most blood siblings I knew.
"So, whatcha doin here?" Erik asked when he put me down.
"It's spring break, and I needed some quiet time." I had almost said 'time alone', but I didn't want him to feel like he was in the way. Though I would miss my naked and naughty time, I was actually glad he was there. "What about you?"
"It's my spring break, too," he said. He was an assistant professor of anthropology at the U of W Madison, also working on his PhD. Though we spoke on the phone nearly every week, since we had both moved out of our parents house, we only really got to see each other over Christmas, and he'd missed it this year because he took a ski trip instead. "I was planning on staying until next Sunday, unless you want some, uh, private time."
My blush returned. "Don't be silly, I never get to see you. And I have plenty of private time in my bedroom at home, thank you."
His grin was lopsided. "So, no boyfriend yet?" He was forever asking when I would hook up with someone. I cleared my throat. "No one worth it. What about you, how's Sandra?"
Erik shook his head, his shock of dark messy hair everywhere. "She's history. I couldn't take it: the constant whining and need for attention, her shopping addiction, the two hour long prep time to go out."
I put on a half-frown. "I thought you really liked her."
"I liked who she pretended to be at first. But as time wore on, those qualities faded. Hey, have you had dinner yet?"
I told him I hadn't, but had planned to make a stir fry for myself. I agreed to cook for him, too, while he unpacked and showered.
I put on a new Devendra Banhart album that I was in love with and sang along as I chopped. Erik emerged just as I was throwing the broccoli into the pan. "Who is this? It's really great."
I told him and said I could make a copy for him. While he often agreed with my taste in music, he wasn't one to go out and find stuff he liked. He just waited for it to come to him, and he'd often thanked me for personally contributing to the bulk of his collection.
We sat down to dinner and gave each other the updates on our lives. Gratefully he made no more cracks about what he'd walked in on. I was trying my best to put it out of my mind, as I had with other similar instances from the past.
The last time we'd been at home together, he walked into the bathroom, naked, while I was in the shower. There was a pregnant pause and flat-out starring before he blushed, grabbed a towel, and left. Once, in high school, he'd caught me spying on him as he made out with some cheerleader. He had been kind about it, and I had hoped he'd chalked it up to young curiosity, but the truth was, I had been drawn to him since I became a woman, at age 13.
I would be lying if I said it wasn't a sexual attraction, but it was more than that. He was sweet, funny, intelligent, polite: all the things I looked for in a mate. I had once joked with a close friend that the reason I couldn't settle for any of the guys around me was because I had been spoiled with a brother that treated me too good, and that no one matched up to him.
Of course, I felt funny about thinking of him that way. No, we weren't blood related, but he was still my brother. In high school, when I was still reading those frivolous teen fashion magazines, I read a letter in an advice column about a girl in a similar situation. I devoured every word of the response, which basically said it was innappropriate, dangerous, and damaging to the family dynamic, all things I had felt and thought before.
It didn't matter, anyway, because Erik never treated in any way other than sisterly. He had a bit of a protective streak to him, forbidding me to see certain guys he didn't trust. More than anything, though, he was a good friend to me. When he was almost out of high school and I was a gawky, awkward early teen he still included me in his circle when most brothers were too embarrassed to socialize with their sisters. He had his own life, of course, but he never forget that I was his oldest, bestest friend.
As we cleaned our dinner plates, Erik got a smirk on his face, "so, you wanna watch a movie tonight?" he asked.
I swatted him with my drying towel. "You do not get to make fun of me for that, okay?"
He shrugged, "I wasn't making fun. I brought some videos where people actually wear their clothes."
I stuck my tongue out at him and let the wave of embarrassment pass. We ended up watching a foreign film called Delicatessen, which was really very good. Afterwards, he agreed to sleep on the pull out sofa that we used to share as children. "Okay, I said, "but we'll take turns."
I took me awhile to get to sleep. I kept thinking about how Erik had walked in on me, and wondered how much he'd seen. Did he think I was a pervert? I doubted that, but still it was awkward.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Let's go for a swim," Erik suggested after we woke at a leisurely hour and had breakfast.
I wanted nothing more than to do the same, but there was a problem. "I don't think so," I said.
I bit my lip. "I didn't bring a suit."
He put his plate down in the sink. "Oh. Well, you can wear a t-shirt or something, right?"
I nodded. "Sure, I guess so." I had really wanted him to say he didn't mind if I swum nude.
I knew the exact inventory of my clothes: a tight white tank top and a loose white t-shirt, and two pairs of jeans. No bras, no panites. I asked him if I could borrow a pair of boxers, he didn't question it.
Changing in the bathroom, I realized his boxers were too big for me, even with the elastic waistband. I found a safety pin and adjusted it so they would hug my hips tight. Then, I donned the thin white t-shirt, knowing he would get a show. I had to shrug it off, he'd seen me naked countless times in our youth, and certainly he'd see quite a bit yesterday.
We found some the old inner tubes in the shed and dragged them to the beach with us. I mounted mine and floated lazily in it, avoiding the water while Erik splashed around.
"Aw, come on, the water's great," he said.
"In a bit, maybe."
"In a bit, now," he said, and pushed his weight on the side of the tube so that I tipped over an into the water. It was on now.
What ensued could only be called a high-stakes game of water wrestling. He was a tall, strong guy, and I know he could have beat me in a second had he wanted to, but he always let me feel like I had a shot. And then he would cream me.
I had managed to slip from his grip, I ducked under the water and swam until I was behind him, then I pushed him over with all my 110 lb might. Because he wasn't ready for it, he fell forward into the water, but quickly steadied himself. Then he spun around and caught me. He swooped me into his arms and carried towards the shore, saying in a caveman voice, "Now I will take you to the deep woods and chain you to a tree, and leave you for the bears to eat."
I feigned a helpless starlet voice, "Oh no! Please, anything but that!" Laughing, he set me down on the pier, and a strange look came into his eyes before he turned away. Looking down, I saw the thin shirt clinging to my every curve, my erect nipples clearly visible.
Folding my arms over my chest, I looked out towards the water. Grateful for a distraction, I saw that the inner tubes had both floated far out into the lake. "Look," I said.
"Race ya," he replied, and quick like a flash he was in the water. I ran to the edge of the pier and dove in after him, doing my strongest breaststroke to catch up. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, he was only a few yards ahead of me, so I gave it all I had and tagged the nearest tube a split second before he did.
"Now, you make me dinner," I said.
"Okay," he shrugged, and swam the few extra yards to get the other tube. We floated back lazily and spent the rest of the day on the beach, reading. Later, Erik stood on the edge of the pier with his fishing pole and caught us some dinner.
I was surprised at how tasty it was. I hadn't known that Erik could fish, clean a fish, or cook, but he did it all without a word of complaint. Thanking him, I did the dishes and baked a blueberry pie. Well, it was a pre-made crust and frozen berries, but it was still good.
The night had turned chilly, so we built a small fire. We drank a few beers as we sat on the rug in front of the flames, playing poker. Instead of betting chips or money, we bet with secrets we threatened to tell our parents, as in: I'll see your ditching school to go dirt-bike riding and raise you the dirty magazines you stashed under your bed.
As the night wore on, Erik pulled out his trump card. "I bet you one Kylie was fucking herself like a porn star in the cabin."
I glared at him, and called his bet with the time he had tried to grow marijuana his bedroom closet. He won the hand, and seeing my beet red cheeks, he said, "Don't worry, I won't really tell them."
"Thanks," I said. Seizing the moment, I ask, "Do you think I'm a pervert?"
Erik laughed, running his fingers through his messy dark hair. "Hardly. Damn, Kylie, if you weren't my sister..." he trailed off.
"What?" I asked, emboldened by beer.
He shrugged and looked away. "Let's just say you could have made a video of your own."
I didn't push it, because I thought I knew what he didn't want to say. "Well, a girl's gotta have some release," I said, knowing in my heart that there was nothing to be ashamed of.
"Come on, Kylie, you're a beautiful girl. You could have your pick of men, I'm sure."
I shook my head. "I'm waiting."
"What do you mean?" he asked, genuinely confused.
"I mean I'm a virgin, and I'm waiting for the right guy to give myself to."
Erik's eyes widened, but instead of some smart ass comment like I was used to, he just said, "That's commendable, Kylie."
I nodded and changed the subject. It was just too weird, the way he looked at me. I yawned and stretched and started to get ready for bed. When I went to unfold the sofa bed, Erik stopped me. "You really don't want to sleep on that," he said. "It sags like a wet noodle, and there's a loose spring right in the middle."
I shook my head. "Then I'm not going to let you sleep on it two night in a row."
Erik shrugged. "I don't mind sharing the bed if you don't," he said. It was a king sized bed, plenty of room for both of us. But it made me feel a strange heat in my private regions.
But I didn't want to act like it was a big deal. After all, we had shared a bed often in our youth. So I agreed before I realized I didn't have a nightgown. Again, I asked him for boxers. Again, he didn't question it.
The shirt I'd worn swimming was still drying, so I put on the tank top. I couldn't find another safety pin for the boxers, but these seemed a bit tighter. Then I brushed my teeth and curled up on the far side of the bed.
The night was cold, and the room unheated. I pulled myself into a tighter ball and tucked the covers snugly around me. By the sound of Erik's breathing, I could tell he was still awake.
"Are you cold, too?" he asked.
I just nodded, but he must have been able to sense my movement. "Come here," he said, scooting closer to the center of the bed. I lay on my side away from him, and he curled up around me. A moment later, he wrapped his arm around my body and pulled me closer. "Is this okay?" he asked.
Well, it was and it wasn't. It felt wonderful to be in his arms, warm and safe. But my body was also responding in less appropriate ways. I mumbled that it was fine, and tried to fill my head with silly things like multiplication tables. It was a long time before I slept.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I had a night of pleasant dreams. Pleasant dirty dreams. Thankfully Erik wasn't the star (thand you Johnny Depp!), but when I woke I found us still curled together tightly. His hand had found its way under my shirt, his thumb grazing the underside of my breast. The boxers had slipped down my ass, which was pressing into his groin. It was enough. I was sure that if he was awake, he could smell my arousal.
I tried to move without waking him, unsuccessfully. In half-sleep he pulled me closer. I tried to get up, but he mumbled, "Just a few more minutes, please."
I was fully awake now. I could feel his morning woody pressing into my bare ass, separated by just a thin piece of fabric. I lay there for another minute until I could take it no longer. I fidgeted until he loosened his grip, waking.
"Mornin'," I mumbled and shuffled to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face. Life was unfair.
We spent the morning apart. I tried to erase all these thoughts from my mind, but they wouldn't go away. Since I couldn't say anything to him, I poured all my thoughts and feelings into my journal. It made me feel a little better.
I went for a jog later through the woods, stripping my clothes off after I was a mile away from the cabin. It felt great to have the fresh air caress my body. I felt the heavy weight of my breasts jiggle up and down with each step, the breeze tickling my bare pussy, and had the thought that I wished Erik was watching me, before I pushed it out of my mind.