The Best Medicine Ch. 05byEvil Alpaca©
This story is a bit wordy and fairly long, so if you are looking for immediate gratification, you might want to look elsewhere.
The following story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between these character and events and any real person or events is strictly coincidental . . . and pretty darn impressive seeing as it is a science fiction story. Do not reproduce or copy this story without the consent of the author.
In my magical, mixed-up world, characters don't worry about STDs or unwanted pregnancies except occasionally as a plot device. The author encourages the practice of safe (and hopefully satisfying) sex.
While this is a science-fiction story, it may at different points contain sexual behavior that might fall into other categories. You can rest assured however that there will be NO depictions of Non-Consent, Mind Control, or Incest for any purpose other than as plot devices, and certainly not for sexual arousal. Anything else is fair game.
The following story is based in the same world as "To Protect and Serve." While this series can stand alone, reading the afore mentioned series would be helpful.
Proofread by "Cristalball"
The members of Joker's Wild had made good time, and were well into Tennessee when the woman they had been protecting held Farmer's satellite phone in her hand, nervously staring at the keypad.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Farmer asked.
Vanesse nodded. "I don't want to go blundering into his territory with all this on our heels, and he might be able to help. I'm tired of this, and the sooner we get to safety, the sooner that I can figure out what's going on with Trina and the sooner I can avenge what happened to her." Her eyes rolled skyward, then back to Farmer. "Okay," she said sarcastically, "the sooner that we can get around to it. Trina's being a bit bitchy." The Princess winced. "Okay, stop with the headaches! We talked about this."
Farmer chuckled. Vanesse's conversations with herself were becoming increasingly fun to watch, especially when Trina made the Princess aroused or even climactic. Being possessed by your best friend, newly appointed lover, and personal bodyguard was not easy. Farmer handed over the satellite phone, which was already ringing.
"Hello? Is this my mysterious, untrained necromancer?" came a familiar voice.
"How many untrained necromancers do you know?" Vanesse asked. "And if you say 'Including you? One,' then save it. Even I've heard that one before."
Well if you're going to steal all my best material, what can I do for you?"
"Lillian, I need to come clean with you. About me."
There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Has something happened?"
It didn't take much for Vanesse to bring a few tears to her eyes, thinking about how Trina had looked broken and bleeding in the snow. "My friend . . . the one who was wounded? She was killed."
"I'm so sorry," Lillian replied. "What happened?"
"We were attacked by bounty hunters, except they weren't trying to rescue me. They were trying to kill me." Vanesse paused, and a calm feeling came over her. Trina was trying to give her a boost. "My name is Princess Vanesse Bellethial, heir to the elvish throne. I am requesting sanctuary in the lands of your lord, Lord Shane Stapleton."
"I'm sure you'll understand my skepticism, but can you prove that you're the Princess? We've had a great many --"
"Lillian, you know it's me. You've probably suspected since day one."
"Yes, but there's a difference between ME knowing, and Lord Stapleton being able to take action."
Vanesse wracked her brain, trying to come up with some way of convincing someone she had never met that she was who she claimed to be. In the meantime, she explained her situation. "I was living up in Alaska, where I was captured. I was rescued by Farmer, the alpha matriarch of Joker's Wild."
"I've heard of her. Is that the woman who called me the first time?"
"Yes." Vanesse covered the phone and looked at the werehyena. "She's heard of you."
"Who hasn't? I rock!"
Vanesse rolled her eyes, then talked into the phone again. "We could not go public that I had been rescued, because there were already bounties out to have me killed rather than captured. But yesterday, my battle-dancer was killed . . . Trina was killed by a bunch of werewolves with guns and a helicopter and some insane damn vampire who bit her and then broke her --" Despite the knowledge that Trina was somewhat safe inside her mind, Vanesse let out a sob. She hated thinking about what happened.
"Vanesse," Lillian said soothingly, "I believe you. Lord Stapleton is going to need some kind of proof, though. Is there anything you can give me that could help?"
A memory flashed across Vanesse's mind, but it was not one of her own. She was looking through someone else's eyes at Vanesse's mother, who lay in bed holding a bawling infant and looking as proud as an elf could look. The person who's gaze she was sharing looked over at Vanesse's father and grandfather, who stood nearby with looks of joy on their noble faces.
The Queen held up her daughter and handed her to the King, who cradled the child and professed love and adoration to the little pink creature. Then Vanesse's grandfather, the Shepherd took a newborn Vanesse and stared into her eyes, commenting about how feisty she was. He smiled like a grandfather should, and for a moment Vanesse did not resent him for his absence. He had loved her. Then, he handed her to a pair of arms attached to the woman who's vision she shared. Trina. The Prince listened to a firm, young voice give the new Princess her Word that she would always protect her.
Vanesse was smiling, then realized that she had not spoken for quite some time. "The Shepherd," she blurted. "If Lord Stapleton could get a hold of him, he could pass on a message that would confirm it was me."
"Tell him that on the day I was born, Trina gave her word to me. He'll understand, and he's the only one left alive who would. Please hurry." Vanesse rattled off the directions that they were taking, just in case something happened. Lillian promised to look into it, then they hung up.
"Nice story you told her," Farmer said. "About us rescuing you and all."
"You have to understand elvish politics. Technically, nothing I said was a lie."
Alani looked over, obviously puzzled. "How so?"
"Well, I was captured, but I consider my time in Alaska as my captivity, with my uncle acting as the warden. You did rescue me from that captivity, and the part about not being able to go public with what happened out of fear for my life was true."
"Remind me never to get involved in elvish politics," Farmer said, feigning a headache of her own. "It sounds positively confusing."
"That's my life," Vanesse said, her voice wistful and soft. "They didn't teach me how to help people, but I know how to lie. And someday, I'll be the Queen of the liars."
"You don't sound all that happy about it," Farmer said, placing her hands on Vanesse's shoulders.
Vanesse tried to smile, but it died halfway up her face. "I envy you a bit. Yeah, you have responsibilities, but you always seem to be having fun. You love your life."
"Yes, yes I do. But there have been some rough spots. I've lost more than a few gang-members, gotten into some damn ugly fights, and woken up next to some men and women that made me wonder what the hell I was thinkin' or drinkin'. You know what always helps?"
Vanesse shook her head.
"I find something to laugh about. Elves lie, vamps drink blood, wolves hunt . . . hyenas laugh. Because if any given moment is gonna be my last, I don't want to spend it crying."
Vanesse wiped her eyes. "I just don't see very much as being funny these days. You'd think maybe I could. I mean, my best friend in the universe is alive and living in my cerebral cortex, but --" She stopped when her body began to fidget. Trina was getting uncomfortable. "Stop it!" she told thin air, then grimaced. "I wish we just had telepathy or something."
"You'll work something out. So you've got a second chance with Trina, in more ways than one. You've got a kick-ass, hotter-than-hell escort all the way to Atlanta, so what's not to smile about?"
Vanesse sat down. "Farmer, what if I don't WANT to be Queen?"
That one stunned Trina into no long messing with Vanesse's body.
Farmer's face scrunched up a bit. "Huh? Why wouldn't you want to be Queen? Isn't that what this is all about?"
"Yes, and that's the point! My parents were killed because they were the King and Queen. I'm being hunted by people who want to 'save' me or kill me, all because of this stupid game that my uncle, my grandfather, and someone else are playing. With my life! Trina died . . . she died and now has to share my body instead of having her own life, all because of these horrible elvish political games. My whole life was a shadow of what it should have been before you showed up and rescued me, and it was because . . . dammit," she finished, unable to vocalize her frustration. She felt a warmth in her chest and some tension ease from her muscles as Trina worked from within her to calm her down. Make her happy.
"Do you want your uncle to be King?" the werehyena asked.
"No. And that's the trap. The elvish people get someone in my uncle who really doesn't care about most of them, or me, who isn't fit to lead a parade, much less a kingdom." She raised her hand to ward off an objection. "It's true. My uncle taught me to lie, not to lead. And I just let him."
"You have what? Twenty years before you're supposed to take the throne? You have time to learn. You've got time to go find out what your people really need."
"And what if it turns out they need a stronger monarch than I can be?"
Farmer cocked her head. "I think you're underestimating yourself. But if the time comes and for whatever reason you don't think it's what you want . . . well, cross that bridge when you come to it." Then a random thought crossed her mind. "Hey, when this all blows over, you're welcome to ride with us for a while."
Jack's and Alani's eyes shot open, and Doreen almost ran the RV off of the road. "What?!" they all said at once.
Vanesse blushed. "I'm flattered, but it doesn't seem like I'd be all that welcome."
"Oh, that's not it," Jack said quickly. "It's . . . uhm --"
"What Captain Eloquent here is trying to say is that we've just never had a non-hyena ride with us before," Alani explained. "I've never even heard the boss offer."
Vanesse was staring at her Walmart shoes. "I . . . thanks, but I don't want to be a bother. I mean, what would I contribute? My background in drug sales and distribution is about as thin as my experience in . . . well, everything else."
"Not quite everything," Farmer said soothingly, putting a finger under Vanesse's chin. "You've shown quite a talent for the healing aspects of your necromancy and, more importantly, how to build energy for it."
The Princess's heart was threatening to break out of her substantial chest, and her skin felt hot enough to cook on. "You're not seriously suggesting that I act as your personal . . . you know."
"Slut?" Farmer asked with a grin. "Actually, you'd be the gang's slut. It'd be rude to keep a fine thing like you from the boys. You seem to enjoy it and, on one of my rare serious notes, we could show you a lot more of the real world than you could have imagined in your little Alaskan hideaway."
Vanesse was wondering where all of Trina's biological cues were during this. Surely her battle-dancer would be outraged at the prospect. 'Besides,' she thought, 'this is a ridiculous idea anyway. I'm a princess, damn it! That's not what princesses do.'
"Boss," Doreen called from the front, "Ace just signaled that it might be a good time to stop and get some grub. It's been a while, and --"
Farmer was barely paying attention. She was too busy enjoying the feeling of Vanesse's body pressed up against her, those large tits and bright eyes competing for Farmer's attention.
"Boss? Anyone home?"
Farmer growled, but was pleased that Vanesse gave her a shy grin. 'She really doesn't understand how hot she is,' the werehyena matriarch thought. "Fine. Where are we anyway?"
"Just north of Tennessee. Even shifting drivers and sleeping in shifts, the boys are exhausted."
"Find a place a stop."
The caravan pulled into an all-night diner attached to a truck stop. The gang would take turns, some eating while the others watched out for would-be threats. And like in the wild, the matriarch got to eat first, along with her inner circle, Vanesse, and a handful of guys who took up surrounding tables.
Vanesse was still unused to "road" food, though she was assured by all the werehyenas that it was not representative of normal cuisine. The Princess thought that to be unfortunate, because the grilled-cheese sandwich and accompanying fries were heavenly. And the chocolate pie that acted as dessert required seconds, all by itself.
And Vanesse spent time listening as the members of Joker's Wild as they talked. They were an interesting mixture of personalities. Some, like Farmer, Alani, and Ace were all highly educated, whereas Jack had never gone to college, Doreen was a high-school dropout, and Bud had actually done some serious jail time before his twin-brother had bailed him out and helped get his head on straight.
But despite the easy, jovial camaraderie, there was not doubt as to who was in charge. No one, except Vanesse, had started eating until Farmer had. They talked about ways to expand their drug business or pick up new transport work, but all ideas were flowed by the matriarch. They respected her, they liked her, but the pack still feared Farmer, at least a little. Vanesse was not sure how much of that was simple werehyena culture and how much of it was Farmer herself, but it was a very clear dynamic. After thinking about elvish politics and the fine art of lying, Vanesse found the werehyena style of government surprisingly refreshing. At least it was honest.
"Hey boss!" Bud said from over near a jukebox that had probably been around since before Vanesse was born, "Guess what?!"
Vanesse had seen Farmer angry, amused, thoughtful, and horny, but she had never seen the look that now played across those strong, ebony features. It was a bastardized cross-breeding of fear and chagrin that was almost comical.
"You've got to be kidding!" she said, almost choking on her coffee as she attempted to move towards the machine that filled her with an unholy dread. But the other werehyenas seemed to be quite intentionally blocking her path.
"What's going on?" Vanesse asked as her new protector tried to force her way through a crowd of bikers.
Alani was laughing too hard to respond, so Jack had to speak up. "Remember when I told you that Farmer lost a bet where she said she could go a whole week without starting a fight?"
"Yes. She lost it after three days, right?"
"Yep. And you're about to see her pay up."
Bud had finished inserting sufficient coinage and had just hit the button before Farmer finally reached him.
"Sing it! Sing it!" the crowd of bikers chanted, as some of those outside came in as word of the impending "event" spread.
Farmer clenched her teeth, rolled her eyes, then tilted her head back and started to sing. Badly. Very, very badly.
"Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh heaven is a place on earth They say in heaven love comes first We'll make heaven a place on earth Ooh heaven is a place on earth!"
There is a place caught midway between horror and hilarity, and that's where Vanesse found herself. Farmer's singing voice was so atrocious but she used it with such energy that the Princess found herself grinning like an idiot.
"She has to sing along with that song anytime we hear it playing," Jack said between chuckles. "She never should have admitted that she loved Belinda Carlisle. Well, she should never admit that and then lose a bet anyway."
Most of the rest of the restaurant patrons were just staring or laughing, while the wait staff was looking amused and perplexed. Farmer kept right on going until the last note, then promptly threw Bud out the front door and onto his ass.
"And stay out!" she growled, then went and sat back down. The surrounding werehyenas were stifling laughs now, and their boss glared at each of them in turn. Only Vanesse was not sufficiently cowed.
"I'm more of a Bangles girl myself," the Princess said smugly.
"Oh just shut up," Farmer replied, sinking petulantly into her seat. "I still say that the Go-Go's were vastly under-appreciated."
"Of course they were," the Princess said, patting Farmer's hand and then offering her a french fry.
Another werehyena came in, and he looked less than amused. "We got a problem."
"What is it Bam-Bam?"
"Scout car called in. We've got a line of unmarked black SUVs heading this way."
Farmer was suddenly all business. "Everybody out. Let's move this block party away from the civilians."
"Where the hell are we going?" Alani asked, throwing a wad of twenty dollar bills onto the table before following the others outside.
"We ain't gonna outrun 'em, that's for sure. At least not for long," the matriarch grumbled, looking at the bulky RV. "I don't want a gunfight while we're trapped in this thing. We make a run south and see if we can block up the road somehow. Put a flaming car on the highway and then call it in. That should slow pursuit down until we get to Nashville, and they won't try anything there. But when we get onto the other side --"
"We'll be ready, boss," Jack said.
Farmer clapped him on the shoulder. "I know. And I need you to do something. Don't let the Princess out of your sight."
The caravan picked up speed, hurtling forward like hell was on its heels. Vanesse watched the faces of her protectors, and it made her uncomfortable. They wanted to stay and fight. They were proud, and they were strong, and they were being forced to run from a foe that they thought they could take. But they were putting aside their primal natures to defend her. She just hoped it did not kill them like it had --
"Stop with the headaches already!" she murmured, as Trina made her displeasure with Vanesse's guilt trip known via a sharp pain right behind the eyes. "I can feel guilty if I want to, damn it!" She looked a bit sheepish as she noticed Jack staring at her. "What?"
"You know, you're two of the weirdest 'woman' that I've ever met. You're lucky that you're both sexy, smart, and funny."
Vanesse raised her eyebrow. "Trina's rolling her eyes at you."
"How can you tell?"
"I know her." In response, Vanesse got a smug sense of satisfaction.
"Hey, the next time that you're unconscious, can I have sex with Trina?"
The Princess's jaw dropped, and her skin grew warm. "You're serious?!"
"Yeah, it'd be like a threesome all at once!"
Vanesse closed her mouth, then she smirked. "Why not?" That elicited an alarming increase in her heart rate as Trina started poking biological buttons again. "Hey, you want to watch ME having sex," Vanesse told her battle-dancer brain guest, "so I want to watch you too."
"I never thought that a girl with multiple personalities could be so hot," Jack said.
"You've always found Farmer attractive," Alani pointed out. "And she's completely insane."
From the driver's seat, Farmer raised her hand like she was going to protest, then lowered it. Alani was technically correct.
They stopped long enough to turn one of the trail cars over and light it on fire during a section of road that was under construction, which would slow their pursuers down for a while. They managed it just in time, as the line of black SUVs pulled up before Joker's Wild was completely out of sight. Some gunshots came their way, but nothing impacted. At least this time, they did not seem to have --