The Beverly HillbilliesbyInishfree©
I am self-employed as a business marketing analyst. My job is stressful and usually very busy. As my own boss though, I take off time whenever I want to.
This particular day I have taken off to go fishing. I've gone to a stream, I know of, in the Santa Monica Mountains. It is a beautiful summer day in 1965 Southern California and I've found a nice shady spot along the stream.
Later that morning I spot an older man walking upstream with a fishing pole. He is tall and slender but looks to be a transient. He has a week-old beard and he's got on old shabby clothes and floppy hat. He wears a collarless white shirt and clodhopper boots.
As he gets closer to my fishing spot, he calls out, "Howdy there, young fella. How's the fishing?"
I look towards him saying "Fair to midland. You're welcome to sit and fish here, if you'd like."
The old man sits down nearby and lowers his cane pole and string line into the water.
"That's mighty kind of ya. I'm Jed Clampett," he says, as he extends his handshake. I oblige by shaking his hand,
"You can call me Mike," I say.
"It's a real pleasure to meet ya Mr. Mike," Jed replies with a smile.
Over the next few hours, this old dude tells me some of the most outlandish stories I have ever heard. I think perhaps that he's been drinking too much moonshine.
He tells me about being dirt poor, living in the hills of Tennessee, and striking oil one day while out hunting on his property. He goes on to tell me that he now lives in a mansion in Beverly Hills and has over 60 million dollars in the bank.
I try to keep from laughing at him and just go along with it.
He even shows me a picture of his family taken in front of his mansion. The photo shows a family, dressed similar in hillbilly style clothing.
He points out his mother-in-law, Granny, a frail looking old woman in a floor length pattern dress. He shows me his daughter, Elly May, a beautiful young woman, who has a thin waist but her dress covers her legs to below the knees and her dress is too puffed out to see the rest of her figure. Jed also points out his cousin Pearl's son, Jethro, a big tall, goofus looking young man.
Jed starts telling me all about his family and how tough it has been trying to raise them up in the 'big city'. He tells me how hard it has been for his daughter, Elly, to find a 'beau to court her'.
He says that she just turned 17 and how Granny says that she will be an old maid if she isn't 'hitched' by 18 years of age.
I just keep going along with his crazy stories and nod my head.
Jed says that Elly May just likes to play with her critters and to 'shinny up' trees, go stump jumping and just get herself dirty playing outside. He says that she acts like a tomboy all the time.
He says that he would do anything to get her to learn to be a lady. He thinks that Granny is too old fashioned to teach Elly May the new ways of living as a lady in Beverly Hills.
I just can't help myself with all this insanity so I decide to make up a few stories of my own.
I tell Jed, "You know that's a shame. Such a beautiful young woman should attend a proper girl's finishing school. I used to tutor at one before I started my own business. I've tutored many young women to be proper ladies."
Jed says, "Well, my Elly May don't take too kindly to them schools. She tried some but didn't get along with the other girls. They laugh and kinda poked fun at her."
"That's a shame too," I replied. "Young girls can be so cruel sometimes. Your daughter would probably benefit from private tutoring."
Jed puts down his fishing pole and says, "By doggies, I think ya got somethin' there. Elly just needs more direct attention. So how abouts ya'll tutor her? I'll pay ya very handsome, for your work."
This just seems to be getting funnier, so I say, "Well, I have my own different kind of business now and I am very busy. I would oblige you but the price would have to be pretty high, for all the extra work."
Jed immediately says, "How does a million dollars sound to ya? Seeing my Elly May become a lady is worth a million dollars to me."
This is going too far and the day is getting late.
"Listen," I say, "I would be happy to do it for a million. Here is my business card. Send me a check for $500,000 and we can get started. Once the check has cleared, I will contact you with the details. So be sure and send me your address and telephone number also." I pick up my gear and begin to hike out to my car.
A couple days go by and I get some mail, from a J. D. Clampett of Beverly Hills.
Inside the envelope is a check for $500,000 from the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills, an address and a telephone number. I call the bank and they say the check is good, so I deposit it to my account.
Five days later the check clears and my mind begins to realize that the crazy stories are real. I've stumbled on the opportunity of a lifetime.
I call the phone number and a voice says, "Jed Clampett speaking."
I identify myself and he says, "Oh howdy, Mr. Mike, we've been waitin' for ya to call. Did ya get the check I sent ya?"
I tell him that I did and that we can now work out the details.
"Mr. Clampett," I say, "this tutoring for Elly May will require that she stay with me for at least a month. It all depends on how quickly your daughter finishes her studies. Her tutoring could take as long as three months. I have plenty of room at my house and Elly May will have her own bedroom and bathroom."
Jed says, "That sounds mighty fine to me. When kin I bring her over?"
I tell him, "Let's make it two weeks from today. I can see, from the photo you showed me, that Elly May needs to learn to wear more lady-like clothes. Here is the address of a good clothing store near you. Please have Elly May go there to be measured for a fitting and I will instruct them about the clothes to make for her and where to ship them. You, of course, will have to pay the bill for the new clothes."
Jed agrees and we set the date and time for him to bring Elly May to my home.
Two weeks later, right on time, my doorbell rings. I answer the door to see Jed Clampett standing there, still dressed in the same old shabby clothes.
"Howdy, Mr. Mike, we're here just like ya said," Jed smiles.
"Welcome," I reply. "Please come in." Jed walks in with an old suitcase and sets it down.
"Elly May, get in here girl." he says, "Don't be standing outside gawking."
Through the door walks a beautiful young woman with long blonde curly hair. She also has long curly ponytails. She has a bubbly face with rosy cheeks and a full mouth with pink lips.
She fits the information I received from the tailor. She's a little thing, standing 5'-2" tall and weighs only 100 pounds.
Her measurements are supposed to be 37-23-36 but it is very difficult to see anything but her trim waist; with the plain pattern dress that she is wearing.
She stands there twisting one foot into the floor with a sheepish grin, while looking her eyes downward.
"Stand up straight Elly May," says Jed, "and say howdy to Mr. Mike."
She looks up with big blue doe eyes, "Well howdy, Mr. Mike, it's a pleasure to meet ya'll," she sweetly says.
"It is my pleasure to meet you, Miss Clampett. Please feel welcome in my home," I tell her. Elly May beams back at me with a wide smile.
Mr. Clampett speaks up as he turns towards the door, "Well, I best leave ya alone to do your job, Mr. Mike. Now, Elly May, I want ya to promise me to do everything that Mr. Mike tells ya to do and make me proud of ya, girl."
She answers, "I will Pa. I'll make ya proud."
With that, I tell Jed that I will contact him in 30 days to give him a progress report.
Jed says his good-byes and gets into the old flatbed truck, for Jethro to drive them both home.
"Please come and sit down, Miss Clampett," I say. "Let's talk about why you want to become a lady."
She sits down in a chair, as I continue standing.
"So why are you so anxious to become a lady?" I ask.
Elly May answers, "Cuz my Pa says that I needs to be tawt to be a lady before I kin catch a beau and git hitched proper."
Questioning her further, "So all that you want in your future is to find a man and get married? You have no other plans, like higher education or having a profession to work in?"
Elly says, "Yes sir, I only want to have a husband to love and take care of him. I've ain't had much schooling and I don't want no job, besides being a good wife."
"Well, that's just fine," I continue, "you seem to know what you want and that is what I will tutor you about. You may call me Mr. Mike from now on. May I call you Elly May or Elly?" She says, "That's just fine and dandy with me, Mr. Mike."
"Alright then, Elly May, let me ask you a question. Are you a 'God fearing' woman? Do you read the 'good book' at home?"
She perks up, "Oh yes sir, I don't read right proper but Granny has tawt the 'good book' to me all my life."
"Good, the reason I ask is because you say that you want a husband to love. Do you know that the 'good book' says, 'Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands.' Do you know what this means?"
Elly May looks puzzled, "I cain't say that I do. Granny never read that part to me."
"That means that a wife is to submit herself to her husband in all things." I continue, "That means that her husband is her master. That means that a wife must do everything her husband asks her to do. Do you believe in these things?"
She nods her head, "If that's what the 'good book' says then that's what I'll do with my husband. Granny says that the 'good book' only speaks the gospel truth and ya should live your life by what it tells ya to do."
"Good enough, then this is the way it will be. While you stay here, you will respect me as the man and master of this house, as you would your husband. You will be the mistress of this house. Your duties are to clean, cook and keep good order in this house. It will be your responsibility to follow all my instructions and to do everything you can, to make sure that I am happy."
"I want you to take care of everything that this house or I require. I will be busy daily doing my own work. This will help you learn the duties of a wife. Now, your Pa and I have discussed these things already. Do you think that you can live here and treat me as your husband?"
Elly looks at me shyly, "I told my Pa that I'd make him proud. I'll do everything ya tell me to do. I kin learn to be a good wife and take care of a husband. I kin do anything if'n I set my mind to it."
"Perfect then," I say, "we can begin right away. Now, first you must know that I expect loyalty and obedience from you. Talking back to me or not following my instructions will mean that I will have to punish you for your actions. Do you understand?"
Elly May again nods, "Yes sir, I understand." I tell her to stand up.
"Now the next thing you need to do is change the kind of clothes you wear. I'm sure your Granny has done a fine job raising you and making clothes for you, up until now. If you want to become a young lady, then you are going to have to change the bait."
Elly asks, "What do ya mean, change the bait?"
"The clothes you are wearing are for young girls, not young women", I tell her. "I can't see anything but the bottom of your legs. Your dress shows your waist but the top of your dress goes to your neck and is very loose fitting. Your dress has puffy shoulders and long sleeves to your elbows. If you're going to catch a man then you are going to have to wear clothes that attract a man. You're going to have to show off your figure."
"Now you won't be using the clothes in the suitcase that you brought. I have had new clothes made for you to wear while you are here. We will have your Pa buy other clothes for you to start wearing when you finish here. I will show you how to dress and bring more attention to your legs and hips, your rear end and breasts."
Elly May blushes red and giggles nervously, "Granny says that a girl should always cover up around men folk."
"That's the problem right there," I correct her. "You are not a little girl anymore. You are a young woman. Now it is my job to show you how to dress to attract men. Your Granny is a wonderful woman and did her best to show you how to dress this far; but now it's my job."
"Your Granny did, however, send me a potion she conjured up for you. She says that it will give you extra energy while learning to do all your house chores and the cooking and cleaning. She says that you should drink a glass of her potion every day."
"My Granny's potions always work," Elly replies. "I should probably start taking it right now. Where is Granny's potion?"
I tell Elly May to wait, as I go to the kitchen. I had previously disposed of the liquid that Granny had sent over, so I pour some grape juice into a glass and add a strong aphrodisiac. It is powerful enough to loosen her up her libido completely and it has day long, lasting effects.
"Here you go," I tell her, "drink this up. I will pour you a glass every morning, as your Granny instructed me."
Elly finishes the entire glass. The 'potion' starts to act rather quickly and Elly May's physical attitude changes as she begins to move her body around, much more than before. She starts moving her feet around and her hands are rubbing up and down her hips and legs.
"Boy howdy, Granny's potion is shur enough making me feel awful funny. Parts of my body feel real warm and kinda tingle a bit," she says.
"That must be a real good energy potion your Granny's got there," I tell her.
"Let's talk more about the clothes you will wear while staying here. As the man of this house, I expect your presence here to be pleasing to me. I think that a woman's body is the most beautiful thing that God ever created. I think that it is a sin for a woman to hide her body with anything that does not look natural on her."
"Personally, I think that the most wonderful part of a woman's body is her breasts. So the first thing is that you must never wear a bra around me. They take away from the beauty of your breasts. Can you do this for me, Elly May?"
"Yes sir, Mr. Mike. I won't wear no bra; if ya don't like 'em" she says.
"Great," I respond, "I'm glad that you wish to please me. I have many clothes made for you to wear. All your blouses are of thin and sheer material. I have snug tee shirts for you to wear. I also have halter-tops and tube tops for you. I want you to wear any blouse or top that shows the natural beauty of your breasts."
"Now, when it comes to dresses or skirts, there is another rule. I think that a woman's legs are the next beautiful part about a woman. But I expect to see all of your legs though. This will mean that the hemline of your dresses and skirts must be to the top of your legs. That means to where the back of your legs meet your rear end. Is that OK with you?"
As I tell her this, I point to my own backside because the dress she is wearing has at least three petticoats below it. You can't even see the shape of her ass.
"That's a powerful short dress, Mr. Mike, but I reckon if that's what ya want; then that's what I'll wear" Elly says. Her quick compliance and swishing body movements tell me that the 'potion' is doing its job.
Moving along I tell her, "Very good, Elly May, you seem very willing to adjust to my wants and desires. That is exactly how a good wife should act toward her husband."
She smiles with a huge grin, as she seems quite pleased with herself.
"Now a good wife also has other duties. Besides all the cooking, cleaning and organizing of the house, a wife must also tend to her man's needs. A man has a hard life caring for his family. He must work hard to support them, protect them, and to provide all the things that a house and family needs."
"Sometimes this makes a man very tense and stressful and it is the woman's duty to help relieve a man's stress. Sometimes my neck, shoulders and back get very tight and tense from my work. Can you give a good neck rub or back rub?"
Elly May quickly says, "Oh, yes sir. My Pa says that I give him real good neck and back rubs, when he's ailing. He says that I have real strong hands to help loosen up his muscles and make him feel better."
I nod to her. "That's terrific. A good massage does wonders to make the stress go away."
"Now, Elly May, there are times when a good back rubbing just doesn't do the job good enough to help out. At times like these, a man needs to find a better way to release his stress."
"A man needs something, much more physical. What he needs is for the woman to give him sexual pleasure so that he can relax and feel better. As the man of this house, are you willing to satisfy my sexual needs and desires?"
Elly May looks down at the floor. She has a pout on her face.
"Golly, Mr. Mike, I don't know nothing about sex. Pa and Granny never told me nothing about that yet."
"Oh, this could be a problem," I tell her. "I thought that you knew about sex. Your Pa didn't tell me about this. I don't know if we can continue, with me trying to tutor you. It's very important that you know something about sex."
Elly looks up with her big blue eyes saying, "I'd be willin' to be tawt, if ya'll be willin' to show me how. I'd listen real good and do what ya tell me."
I can't believe my ears. This sweet young thing appears very eager and willing.
"It would be my honor to show you, Elly May," I proudly say.
She looks up at me with a bright, wide smile.
"So you are willing to learn all the things that please me? Will you also take enjoyment in having sex with me?"
She shakes her head up and down. "Heck yeah, Mr. Mike. I sure hope that I'll like it. I've heard the older girls, back in the hills, whispering about sex. They seemed real excited about it. I'll do whatever ya ask me to do."
"This is terrific, Elly May," I say, "Since this seems to be our biggest hurdle to get over; would you like to start to learn now?"
Elly May's hips and body is twisting back and forth in anticipation.
"That's sounds real nice," Elly grins. "What do ya wanna show me first?"
I take a step back from her and look at her up and down.
"I think the first thing to do is to let me get a better look at you. Why don't you take off that dress and all of your underwear so I can see what you look like?"
Elly shyly looks at me and reaches behind her to undo the buttons, at the back of her dress. She steps out of it and places it on a chair. She removes all her petticoats and lays them down also.
She is now only wearing an old fashioned and very confining white bra and full size, white cotton panties.
She gets very shy again and turns her back to me as she removes her bra. She then takes off her panties and puts both on the chair. While covering her front up, I can only see her backside.
She has smooth white skin and a very tight and firm round ass. Her ass looks taunt enough to bounce quarters off of it.
"Now don't be shy, Elly," I comfort her, "turn around and let me get a good look at you. There's nothing shameful about being naked in front of me."
Elly May drops her arms and she turns towards me. Now I'm getting a much better view. For only 17, Elly May has a woman's fully developed body.
She has large pointed tits with big brown nipples. Her tight waist accents her very shapely hips and toned athletic legs.
It is clear that she never shaves because she has a very thick, dark blonde bush.
"Nice beaver," I tell her.
"I didn't bring no critters with me," Elly says, "Do ya'll have beavers here, Mr. Mike?"
I laugh a little at her. "No Elly, I was talking about your hairy bush," pointing at her pubic area, "All that hair on a woman is sometimes called a beaver."
Elly May turns red and laughs, "Oh that. I never had no mind to do nothing about all that hair. It don't show none when I wear clothes."