tagHumor & SatireThe Bra Salesman Ch. 10

The Bra Salesman Ch. 10


We're closing in on the end. I've got most of the rest of the story written, so I'm hoping to get the last few chapters out every other week from here on out. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10: Best Served Served

Ugh, I feel like crap today. And I don't mean the usual "I woke up sleepy" crap that most people refer to when they say that. Or the "I'm overwhelmed with all I have to do today" bullshit feeling as if that were somehow uniquely applied to them and only them. No, I mean the "my heart and stomach were dropkicked by a Brazilian soccer player after being pummeled by a rabidly nasty mountain goat but being chewed by a certifiably insane boxer" kind of feeling.

Today was a particularly grueling day on the job, and I honestly don't know how my boss puts up with my significantly decreased output of work over the last week. Actually I do know how he puts up with it. It's because he's one of those incompetent managers that has absolutely no fucking idea what his workers do or has any experience in this field. That means I can bullshit him up and down every which way in my sleep.

Which, it turns out, is a good thing because that's exactly what I'm doing. All night long I'd tossed and turned in bed, desperately trying to think of any way to get out of the blackmail Brittney holds over me that doesn't involve me getting thrown in prison. No matter how much I think about it, though, it always comes down to my word against hers, and my word won't be worth shit after people hear what I did to Tasha, plain and simple. Ok, granted my word was never worth shit to begin with, but don't get me off topic.

I did manage to come up with one plan that I have to admit is pathetically stupid and probably won't do me any good whatsoever, but I have to try something. That's why I'm currently knocking on Brittney's apartment door at 6 o'clock. That's 6 o'clock SHARP because that's what fucking Brittney demands. I never understood what means, 6 o'clock sharp? Like time is a knife you need to keep in a special drawer away from small children so they don't nick themselves? Whatever, I just hope my stupid plan fucking works.

Brittney answers the door wearing a bathrobe and smiles as she lets me in. "Oh, I've been waiting for this!" I step in and put my wallet and keys on a table by the door, then I nonchalantly put my cell phone down on its side. I surreptitiously click the Record button on the digital recorder of the phone, and then put the cell phone down again.

I turn towards her and grimace, "Just tell me what you want me to do and let's get this over with."

"Oh come, come," Brittney said in a mockingly sweet tone, "no need to be so down. I just..." she paused for a moment to think, "I want you to show me some of more of your exercises, the kind that make me feel SO good." She never refers to what we do as my exercises, so now I know she's just messing with my head. Of course, dropping her bathrobe and revealing her naked body to me is doing a lot more to mess with my head than anything else. She slowly walks toward me then grabs my hand, thrusting it into her crotch and whispers into my ear, "Finger me."

Under normal circumstances, any day that a beautiful woman with nice perky D breasts asks you to put your fingers into her moist pussy can be instantly classified as a very good day. But when it comes to a hateful demon like Brittney, even this wonderful request gets ruined. But of course, that doesn't stop me from sliding my fingers into her wetness and rubbing the lips of her labia with my thumb. Every time I find the knob of her clitoris, she lets out a moan.

She clenches my tricep and pulls my arm towards her, coaxing my fingers deeper into the spongy walls of her drenched vagina. As I move in and out, I can feel her tightening her pussy around my fingers as my other hand reachs out and squeezes one of her nipples. Her hands scramble to undo my belt and pull my pants off while my hands are busy doing other things.

Next thing I know we are down on the floor on her rug. I honestly can't tell you if she pulled me down there, I pushed her down, or we both just lost our balance and landed on our respective asses. All I know is she is on her back with her hands on my buttocks and guiding my groin so that my cock aligns with her pussy. She smiles as she spreads her legs apart and pushes me inside her.

My mind starts imagining I am on top of Tasha, and I rock my pelvis back and forth so that I thrust inside her with a force that makes her gasp. I imagine I'm watching Tasha's breasts shudder every time I shove my body into hers. I imagine it's Tasha's hair I have grasped with one hand, and that it's her leg I have lifted up to rest on my chest with the other hand. I hold her thigh steady as I pummel her wet cunt repeatedly and listen to her excited pant with every plunge.

I almost tell her I love her until I remember that it's not Tasha, which then makes me want to get this fucking thing over with, and I literally mean this fucking thing. I give several more plunges into her tight pussy, and it doesn't take long until my cum bursts inside her and turns her wetness into a sticky combination of sweat and jism.

She rolls over on the floor breathing heavily, which makes her large breasts wobble and quiver. "Thank you, Albert. That feels so good," and then she gives a devilish smile, "and I really think these exercises are helping me fit into my lingerie."

I look at her confused, "Oh cut the act, you know that's all fake."

She stood up with an indignant look, "What?!? This is all fake? You mean, none of these exercises are real?" Yeah right, you bitch, now you're just giving me a hard time about... Shit! She's not giving me hard time, she's putting on an act for the camera! She must have realized what I was doing and now she's get this all recorded! "I can't believe you would do this to me!" she screamed at me. "Get out of my house!"

I lunge for the table with my wallet and cell phone, but she is too quick for me. In one fluid motion, she snatched the cell phone and gently tossed it across the room onto the couch while spinning around and opening the front door. Then in a move worthy of Jet Li, she grabbed my shoulder and spun me into the hallway so that I fell down on my back. Within seconds I feel my clothes, wallet, and keys land on my torso. "You think I couldn't see the little light on your phone, jackass? God, you're a fucking moron. Don't worry, you'll get your phone back, after I download that video off of your phone onto my computer. Idiot!" And with that, she slammed the door into my little toe.

Fuckitty fuck fuck fuckitty fuck FUUUCK! I quickly put my clothes on in the hallway before anyone catches me naked out there and calls the cops for public indecency. That's just fucking terrific. Brilliant plan, dickwad. Now instead of me having an incriminating video of Brittney confessing she's blackmailing, she has an incriminating video of me fucking her and lying to her. Fuck! Now I'm in even deeper shit. Instead of my word against hers, now it's my word against a recorded digital video where everything I said can and will be used against me in a court of law. Not even Matlock could get me out of this. Matlock? What am I, 75 years old? I can't think of a better lawyer cultural reference than fucking Matlock?

I stand up and want to bang on the door as hard as I can until she opens the door and lets me back into her apartment, but I stop myself. I know all I will do is draw attention to myself from anyone nearby, and I'll come across as an out-of-control violent jerk, and she'll be able to play up the sweet, innocent victim to any eavesdropping neighbors that would undoubtedly be interviewed by any newscasters that are called in to get comments of how the insane rapist appeared to frightened, objective onlookers. So I listen to the Matlock voice in my head and instead grab my jacket and hobble to the elevator.

I might as well go down to a local bar and down a bottle of 200% proof liquor and maybe I'll be lucky enough to get liver poisoning and die right on the spot. Instead I find myself outside of Tasha's apartment. What the fuck, I might as well knock on the door and see if she's home.

I hear an annoying "Hey there!" Oh, great, there's Dave greeting me with a big fucking smile on his face. I thought this was the night he was giving her a break from all his shitty toys. "Come on in, Tasha's in the other room and ready to go," then he says under his breath, "if you know what I'm saying." Yeah, I know what you're saying, you dumbfuck. A third grader knows what you're fucking saying. Amoebas growing on the bottom of my shoes know what the fuck you're saying.

I'm sorry, I'm being an asshole. I know that was uncalled for. I'm just in a really REALLY pissy mood now and I thought maybe seeing Tasha would cheer me a little. But seeing Dave and knowing he's here with Tasha just puts me in an even lousier mood.

Dave leads the way into her bedroom, where Tasha is on her knees in the middle of the bed with her hands tied above her head with a rope. Ok, I admit seeing her stunningly gorgeous body does put me in a slightly better mood. Then I see she is blindfolded and gagged, and that's when I notice the whip in Dave's hand. "Ever since I got here, she's been begging me to do this!" God, that gleeful pitch in his voice is even more fucking annoying than a soulless ballad sung by some ballless boy band.

He stands beside Tasha on the bed and grabs a clump of her hair, jerking her head back. "Do you want to be whipped again?" Jesus, Dave, what the fuck kind of dominating bullshit are you doing here? But when I watch her nod her head vigorously, I remember her fetish and how much she enjoyed this kind of dominating bullshit.

Dave takes a step or two back and then brings the whip against her back, which I see is already a little red from before. Her entire body jerks in pain and she lets out a yelp as every muscle in her body tenses up and her gargantuan tits jiggle. He whips her again, which makes me really angry, but I'm too hypnotized by Tasha's incredible naked body, glistening with sweat, writhe in ecstasy.

Dave walks up and grabs her hair again, "Do you want the clamps?" She nods. "Do you really want the clamps?" She nods again. "I don't think you want the clamps." She nods and grunts with enthusiasm. Dave reaches down and grabs the large metal nipple clamps from his bag and puts the pinchers right on top of her erect nipples. The chain between the clamps shakes violently as Tasha's entire body twists with anguish. Her breasts randomly shake in every direction with sweat flying off of her delectable flesh.

"Spread your legs. Now." Dave commands as he grabs a dildo from his bag. She obediently does so, and then he shoves it into her wet cunt as hard as he can. He thrusts it in and out of her body several times, and she is grunting with orgasm and trying to hump that little piece of silicone polyethylene as hard as her jiggling, shackled body can.

With the clamps and dildo firmly in place, Dave went back to whipping her a few more times. The slap of leather against her skin, the smell of her sweat, the way her body rocked and thrashed with every impact, the sound of her orgasmic grunts, it was all getting to be too much for me. I just need to get the fuck out of here, I can't take this shit any more.

Dave looked at me, smiling, but when I walked towards the door, he said, "Wait, don't leave! I was just getting her warmed up so that you and I could... y'know, do an exercise together." He immediately untied her hands, and Tasha went down on all fours on the bed.

"I don't think so, it's getting late, and I..." my voice trailed off. Don't get me wrong, my cock was rock hard by now, and nothing would be better than finding some unused orifice of hers, although that was getting increasingly hard to find.

As Dave unhooked her hands and took her gag off, I heard Tasha plead, "Please. Don't go." She was still blindfolded, so she couldn't tell where I was exactly. But there she was on the bed, on all fours, with the chain of the nipple clamps dangling beneath her swaying tits and a huge dildo protruding from her drenched pussy. "Please," was the only other word she said.

My brain stopped working at this point, because I don't remember consciously deciding to take off my clothes and stand in front of Tasha. I certainly don't remember choosing to put my hardened dick against her cheek so that she, in her blindfolded state, could easily turn her head and wrap her wet lips around my dick. I don't remember when Dave came up to her from behind and spread her butt apart so that he could force his dick into her ass. I don't really remember deciding to do any of this. But whatever part of my inner psyche made these decisions on behalf of the rest of my body, I and my cock are both infinitely grateful.

Tasha was moaning as she slid her head up and down my shaft as Dave was thrusting himself deeper and deeper into her from behind. Every inch of himself that he shoved into her made her hanging breasts wriggle and swing. By now, Tasha had swallowed so much of my cock that my balls were tickling her chin. Dave was hammering her from behind now, which made her forehead press into my groin and pushed my cock deeper into her throat.

I felt her mouth relax a little, so I pulled myself out of her and let her catch her breath for a few seconds. It didn't take long, however, before she ingested my cock whole again and I marveled as it disappeared into her wonderful mouth.

I could see the veins in Dave's neck popping out as he was thrusting faster and faster and, sure enough, within a few seconds a saw a satisfied goofy grin on his face as his body slowed down. Not the kind of thing I want to be looking at in this particular moment, but not so distracting that I had to stop fucking her face.

That's when I felt Tasha slow down herself and let my throbbing cock go free from her mouth for a moment. Then she gradually let her lips glide over my dick again. I could feel myself pulsing in her mouth as she covered me with her spittle. She would suck as hard as she could, and just when I thought I was going to cum, she would release the pressure and lightly flick her tongue up and down my shaft. And then she would suck hard again until I could feel the jism building inside me, and then she would tauntingly release the pressure again.

Finally, she sucked as hard as she could and this time she didn't relent until streams of my warm cum shot into her mouth. As she slid her mouth off my cum-covered cock, strings of jism swung between her lips and my throbbing dick. She reached between her legs and pushed the dildo in and out of her pussy a few times, just to keep herself good and wet.

Next I watched dumbstruck as she began licking my cock, lapping up every drop of cum I had on me. Like my dick was some jism-flavored ice cream cone that she wanted to savor every single morsel. Feeling her tongue lightly go up and down every inch of my penis was an experience unlike anything I'd ever had. I could see her drinking every globule of cum and letting it rest on her tongue for a few seconds before she swallowed it down. My God, I think I'm going to faint. That's right, faint from a fucking blowjob, which may sound ridiculous to most people, but fuck them, they don't know. They have no fucking idea how she was an unbelievable virtuoso at sucking cock.

I hadn't felt this good in days and I could feel the muscles in my cheeks start to quiver from being plastered in such an unnaturally large smile for so long. Tasha took off her blindfold and my heart leapt as I stared at her beautiful face. Yes, my heart fucking leapt, so don't say a fucking word about it. She looked up at me with a devilish smile and slowly slid her tongue up my stomach, pausing every so often to kiss my torso. As her mouth moved across my chest, my breathing became faster and more excited until her eyes met mine and she planted her lips right on top of mine so that I could literally taste my own cum. And the weird thing is I didn't even mind tasting my own cum, which should tell you just how extraordinarily intoxicated I am with Tasha right now.

As we kissed, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pressed her incredible breasts against me. Then, with an impish giggle, she fell down on her back onto the bed and pulled me down on top of her. I was taken by surprise as she quickly rolled over so that all of a sudden I was the one on bottom and she was the one sitting on top of me with her muscular thighs straddling my body. The dildo was still inside her, and she used her hands to move it around a little.

She leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed a bottle of oil that I hadn't noticed sitting there. Of course, to be fair to myself, when I'm facing a woman with large tits who wants to suck my cock, I don't normally notice too many other things going on.

Tasha holds the bottle of oil with one hand as she takes my hand in another. She pours a generous amount of oil into my hand and then presses my hand in the deep chasm of her cleavage. Taking the hint, I massage her entire chest with my hands until her huge tits were glistening and dripping with oil. Oh my god, I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to squeeze the flesh of her breasts so that her skin bulged between my fingers. Who am I kidding? I hadn't forgotten; I just missed these wonderful tits. I missed sinking my fingers into her generous mounds of flesh, and squeezing her nipples between my oily fingertips, and putting as much of her tits into my mouth as humanly possible.

She rolled her shoulders back a little so that I had unfettered access to her entire chest, and I made sure I covered every millimeter of her gargantuan tits. Now that her shiny breasts were coated in oil, she put her hands into mine and pushed them aside and began rubbing her massive chest against mine. I could feel the heat of her body as she moved her tits side to side across my chest until it too was oily.

She moved her breasts downward and used them to cover my entire torso with oil. She continued down my body, pressing her breasts against my legs until each hair of my shaggy legs was gleaming with oil. Every so often she would play with the dildo still lodged in her moist cunt.

I laid there as if I were floating in heaven, enjoying having my whole body lovingly massaged by her slippery tits. It must've taken her ten minutes, but it could've been hours for all I know. I lose all sense of time every time I get a breast massage. Right, as if my scrawny ass gets breast massages every other day. No, the only time I've ever gotten this kind of treatment was from Tasha, and I fucking loved her for it.

I hear a rustling and look over and see Dave is gleefully videotaping all of this. Normally I find Dave's presence to be irritating, if not downright distracting, but I admit I appreciate he had the perverted ambition to capture this moment digitally for me to enjoy over and over. Yeah, I know he was doing it for him to enjoy, but as long as I could relive this moment, I don't fucking care.

Oh, actually Dave is setting the camera down and he approaches Tasha. He's standing beside the bed trying to shove his penis into her breasts. I can tell Tasha isn't in the mood to have his bony little pencil-dick anywhere near her, but she obliges by turning her shoulders toward him and pressing her breasts together so that he can start fucking her tits.

The remaining oil on her breasts seems to be lubricating him, because he starts moving faster and faster. Each time he shoves his groin against her chest, the skin on her tits ripple from the impact. She's pressing her breasts together as hard as she can, giving him as much friction as possible, which does the trick because within thirty seconds he grunts and shoots his load onto her huge bosom. Thirty seconds? Jesus Christ, Dave, don't you have any fucking strength in your groin that can make you stretch the moment out longer than it takes me to heat a box of Oodles o'Noodles?

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