tagLetters & TranscriptsThe Erotic Diary of Samuel Pepys Ch. 01

The Erotic Diary of Samuel Pepys Ch. 01


The Erotic Diary of Samuel Pepys: Chapter One

The following are extracts from the hitherto secret erotic diaries of Samuel Pepys (1633-1703), made available here for the very first time.

July 1669

1st. Took coach to my Lady W. in Bristol. Early morning and the streets clear of all but a few waifs and strays. My wife unaware of my departure, which pleased me mightily. Was much vexed last night wherein we had the most uncordial of exchanges, she accusing me of kissing our new chambermaid Mercer on the mouth and other slurs against my character. That it is true in all but the most minor details I did not vouchsafe to her. I admit plainly that Elisabeth grows more homely and sluttish every day. A man is in need of more than wifely comforts, especially when his work is as consuming as my own. The pretty girl at the Ship tavern has often been useful to me in this way, but although I can speak freely to Sir W. Batten and W. Pen on these matters, forasmuch as they themselves have reason to seek out pleasure across the furthermost boroughs of London, I am straitened by my marital circumstances.

At the coach house in Blackfriars I did espy a pretty wench serving ale — at such an early hour, before the sun was yet two hours' fresh. I laid a hand upon her arm and spoke kindly to her and God be praised but she had the most sweetest smile that ever I saw. The way her hair spilt from under her cap was a sight most pleasant to me. I asked her candidly if she had a man, but she said no. I laid an angel [a gold coin to the value of ten shillings] across the counter and we proceeded up to her room. My, but she had soft, white skin that was most tender to the touch, and she proved herself strong both in stamina and patience. Her breasts were small and pointed and her pussy was a most delicate and tight thing, although it had been previously cracked — and many times at that, I think. But her golden body was a sight to behold and my rod twitched in delight at every stroke of her tiny hand on it. After fucking her for nigh on twenty minutes and creating so much commotion that I imagined the landlord storming open the door in search of an altercation, I pulled out my root and shot a mighty load across her face and breasts and watched in delight as she licked up every drop of semen. Then adieu, and taking three cold beef pies with me, for the coach house is famous for their pies as well as for their cheap ale, I boarded the coach at eleven and was soon on my way.

Our coachman was a rough fellow by the name of Hewer and did regale us betimes with his occupation as lighthouse keeper in the Azores. His believe in the strength of the Dutch fleet to overtopple us came as a surprise to the souls aboard the coach, myself and three pretty ladies, one a negro of quite splendid appearance, and we would fain disport him of the idea, were he not so quick to anger on the subject. I, in mischievous mood, did speak wickedly with the ladies and did plant a kiss on the cheek of the one sitting next to me, the wife of a privy councillor called Waith who tells me she has not seen her husband these last six days as he is away on business in Hereford. If I were her husband I would not stay away from home for such long periods, for fear — if I had a sensible head about me — that Mrs W. might be out to seek pleasure for herself. Her mood was jolly and she too was mischievous, and we had a playful time of it in the coach. The other ladies, Mrs Hater and the blackamoore, whose name was Flora, looked on and smiled, but said little.

We stopped after an arduous journey at an inn in Stokenchurch, a quiet, dull place with little to praise it but the inn itself, which is a most handsome building. The squire, Mr Bone, a solid man of over forty years, held office at the bar while his daughter Claire cleaned tables and disported with her customers, a rowdy lot and looking for amusement. The early evening being fine and bright, and warm, we sat outside — Mrs W., Mrs H., Flora and myself — observing the farmers tending their beets. The heat was such that I removed my jacket while the womenfolk raised their sleeves and drew out their petticoats. And whether due to the country ale or no, for the ale here is of a strength and flavour quite unlike any in the City, I found myself drowsy and merry, and putting my hand on Mrs W.'s knee, sometimes under her petticoat, and finding the flesh warm and moist. I cup her hands in mine, and we put our lips together in jest, as did Mrs. H to me, and the conversation soon became charged with intimacies. I do not remember what we spoke of other than it made me feel young and gay, and wishing for a future free of those responsibilities which, although I am financially beneficent, have occasion to cause me such undue melancholy.

We went in again, because of the coldness of the evening which came down quite suddenly, to find some ladies of Stokenchurch parading their wantons to all and sundry. Mr Bone quite free in allowing them this, and encouraging the menfolk of the town to join in. I saw bosoms of many shapes and sizes, and men feasting on them as if newly born, suckling as if their very lives depended on it. Claire herself, the landlord's daughter, taking pleasure too. Mrs W. herself appeared shocked, but quickly joined in the affray, much to my great pleasure, and tore her petticoat off in great haste to reveal her splendid pattypans to all. Many men there were who fought over her and engaged their mouths to her sweet nipples. I soon saw a great deal of juicy snatch, with as many as a dozen women opening their legs, peeing openly, and accepting the invasions of handsomely endowed men of all description. Truly it was a sight I would expect to see in the nethermost dwellings of White Chapel, not some dull place in the provinces. I myself took out my richard, which was already quite hard, and offered it to as many hungry mouths as I could. I espied Mrs H. and Flora looking on, so I went to them and, with my manhood proud still, I tried to engage them in copulation. They resisted, instead turning to each other and kissing full and passionately on the lips. Mrs H. had soon exposed the blackamoore's voluptuous mahogany bosoms and was gripping them tight as a rudder in the midst of a storm. Her nipples were of the most exceeding black and I could not help but feel them for myself, to see if indeed they were as hard as they looked in the dim light of the tavern. They were, and so were Mrs H's, whom I had the pleasure to also feel for similar reasons. Soon they were naked, writhing and kissing each other all over, to the great enjoyment of myself and others. Mrs W. meanwhile on her knees sucking my cock to the exclusion of all else. In a short while, I bent her over and fucked her from behind, allowing my cock the full entry into her small pantry and feeling the satisfying tightness of a virgin cunt. She making such a noise as of a fox mating in the wild, but due to the other noise in the tavern, it went unremarked. I slapped her on the buttock and came strongly inside her, she squealing with pleasure. Thence supper and to bed, on my own, with Mrs W. and Mrs H. and Flora in the next room.

2nd. Awoke to much loud noise from next door bedroom. Upon entering, found the three women engaged in heavy copulation. Sheets and covers were spread upon the floor and the room was in much disarray. Mrs W.'s mouth was deep in Flora's big black cunt, with Flora moaning as Mrs H. sucked upon her heavy titties and also putting her fingers in Mrs W's hairy cunt. I took out my cockadil, which was tired from yesterday evening so took an age to become solid, and erewhile joined the three-strong orgy. The women at first only had eyes for each other, but I made it my job to persuade them otherwise, and so after a short while they were including me in their saucy games. Lying down, standing up, on top and beneath, we all took turns in enjoying other's bodies and I freely confess I have not sweated so heavily and so freely since I helped the drayman pull his horse up Blackfriars Hill several summers ago.

A hearty cooked breakfast followed, and thence we took our coach to Wheatley and on to Witney. A wheel tumbled in the area of Great Milton, but none received serious injury, mere bruises and scrapes. A rider sent forward for another coach. The weather still hot, as hot as ever I have known it for July, and we picnicked on the banks of a nearby river. The ladies took it upon themselves to undress and wade in the water, while I sat on the bank and watched them disport. Truly a wondrous sight to behold such handsome breasts rising up and down in play, as the sun beat down on them. Such delightful buttocks and dark hairy pussies as ever I have seen in all my life. Mrs W. laughing and giggling and the water playing all over her perfect body, it made me hard again to see. The sun in the sky, my cock in my hand, and three beautiful ladies naked as Eve — what more could a man of this age ask?

End of Chapter One

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