The First Time

I was 19 when I married Eddie and I was so young and naïve. We were married for 20 years; in fact, we had just celebrated our 20th anniversary with a surprise party that our friends had thrown us. The party had ended and that was when Eddie decided to break the news to me. We stood among the streamers and balloons; he held my hands gently as he told me of his lover, his 24 year old lover; and that she was now pregnant with the child I could never give him. He was leaving me for her. He wanted a fresh start in life. I vaguely remember slapping him, more than once I think, before he retrieved his already-packed suitcase and left the house.

I could say I was devastated, but that wouldn't come close to explaining how I felt. I was completely stripped to the bone; made to feel to be an inadequate woman unable to bear children and paying the price now by the loss of my husband to a more fertile woman. Silly me, I had thought we were in this together. That we would go through the in-vitro and hormone shots, the planned sex and endless moments waiting for test results together. Meanwhile, the bastard was fucking around on me. The fact that she was pregnant just added insult to injury.

Just two years earlier, at Eddie's suggestion, I had quit my job to take the pressure off myself and help me 'relax' enough to get pregnant. I had done nothing but take care of myself, prepare myself to carry a child for the last 24 months. I exercised to strengthen my abdominals and uterine muscles to the point of a softly outlined six-pack. I had done about 5 million kegal crunches to strengthen my pelvic floor in preparation for childbirth. I had done so many of them that I could hold Eddie's cock in my pussy practically against his will, the muscles were so strong. My body was strong and healthy, but at 39 I had some generous (I liked to think of them as voluptuous) curves. I would definitely never be mistaken for a man.

I spent my days at the spa and the gym, getting massages and workouts with a personal trainer. I spent half a lifetime swimming laps in the Olympic sized pool. I read every book I ever wanted to read and kept myself busy by improving my mind and health. I made myself the perfect receptacle for a baby to thrive. I think this was the last straw for Eddie. He was paying for a lifestyle that never paid off (in his mind) in return. Had I known he only loved me for my supposed baby-making abilities....well, honestly I would have married him anyway, but at least I wouldn't have been blind to what he expected.

I drifted, lost, for several months after this revelation from my husband, my best friend, my only lover. I had to work hard just to get out of bed in the morning; the depression gripped me so tightly. I mourned him as though he were dead, then lamented that he still lived and was happy while I shriveled up and ached for death to claim me. It was easier to think of him as dead than as having just left me. My heart literally hurt; all day, all night; every single moment.

It was during this time of deep despair that Maria came into my life. She was kind and full of laughter. She somehow made me see humor in the situation. She made me smile when I didn't think I was capable. It was she who first fixed me up with the man who would have the dubious honor of being my first real date after the love of my life shredded my heart into teeny tiny little pieces. Poor man, I spent the evening shredding him into little teeny tiny pieces. I later called to apologize, but he hung up abruptly and....well, I can take a hint.

Not one to be discouraged by failure, Maria continued to set me up with more of her friends (I was nicer to them) and friends of friends until when that failed she resigned herself to just continuing to invite me to dinner and fun little outings with her, her husband Jon and their son Tony.

When I met them Tony was a somewhat scrawny 16 year old who would look at me with these soft brown eyes. He was always sweet to me and, although I realize why now, I just thought he was being the gentleman that his mother raised. Now, two full years had passed while I watched him with his girlfriend and helped him through the many times they broke up then reconciled. He seemed to turn to me when he was the most confused and I gave my advice to him about girls with the aplomb of a maiden aunt or other trusted advisor.

Now preparing for a dinner to celebrate his 18th birthday, I reflected on how much Tony had grown and changed in the past two years as I dried myself off from the shower and dressed for dinner with Maria and her family. Some of the more risqué questions he had asked me over the last two years ran through my mind as I tried to recall how I answered them. Always honestly; of course, but on occasion I thought perhaps, I answered a bit too honestly. I shrugged the feeling off with a quick motion of my shoulders as I dropped the towel to the floor. I took a long moment to study my naked reflection in the full-length mirror mounted to the bathroom wall.

Not bad, I thought; tight abs, strong but smooth leg and arm muscles; breasts full but not too large and still resisting gravity. I turned in an attempt to get a good look at my buttocks and was pleasantly surprised by how tight and firm they were; all of those lunges and twists had paid off. It was only then that I felt brave enough to lean forward and study my face in the magnified mirror. Every woman's nightmare, especially nearing the age of 40, but even then, I thought, "Not bad Lucy, not too many lines. You could pass for 35...maybe."

I knew from the outset that it would just be the four of us for dinner. So why did I feel the need to dress somewhat provocatively? Tight black skirt and ruby red blouse with just enough cleavage to be a little hot, but not enough to be obvious (obvious of what, I questioned myself). I made a conscious decision to not think about that as I put the finishing touches to my make-up. I had taken special care to line my eyes and add a dusting of eye shadow before swiping black mascara onto my eyes. All of this was designed to accent my bright blue eyes and make them, well, unforgettable. It was my motivation that troubled me.

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I arrived a little early hoping that I could help Maria get dinner ready, but my brisk knock was answered by my hostess saying she and Jon were just leaving. Her mother had an emergency and she had to get there right away. She apologized for not calling, but she wondered if I could have dinner with Tony tonight. "I just hate to drag him away on his birthday." She explained.

I had an immediate sense of apprehension, but for some reason I found myself nodding and saying, "Of course I will. You just take care of your mom." I looked around the living room and asked, "Where is the birthday boy?"

"Oh," she replied, "he's downstairs. Go see what he's done with the basement. He's made it over completely so he can have his own "place" while he goes to college. He and Jon worked hard, it's pretty amazing."

I hesitated a moment and Maria encouraged me, "Go, please. Make him stop working out and get ready to have dinner." As I stood there, I heard the door slam as she and Jon left for the hospital.

Somewhat reassured, I made my way through the kitchen (which smelled heavenly, by the way) and down the stairs to the basement. I was stunned by what I saw. Tony had taken a dreary cold basement and turned half of it into a home gym and the other half into his bedroom, I guessed. There was a painted wall dividing the basement in half. His bedroom, if that's what it was, must be huge considering the fact that the basement ran the entire length of the house. There was another room jutting off from what I assumed was the bedroom, a decent size but not overly large. Something made me choose this door to knock on and call out tentatively, "Tony?"

The door swung open and the scent of body wash and steam wafted out at me. He stood framed in the doorway with just a towel hanging loosely off his hips. His hair was wet and curled over his neck and his chest glistened with the moisture. Every plane and valley was accentuated and I could feel my mouth go suddenly dry.

"Lucy, did come down to wish me a happy birthday?" He said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

I found that I had trouble just forming simple words when confronted with the vision before me. My prevailing thought was Adonis. This is what the Greeks imagined Adonis looked like. If Tony had lived then, he would have been immortalized in marble. Somehow, I managed to croak out, "Uh, dinner's ready. We should eat." I sounded inane, I know, but my brain was not functioning properly.

"Sure thing," he replied, "just let me get dressed."

As I stepped back to let him pass, he glanced down at me again as he moved toward the bedroom door. He swung it open and stepped inside while simultaneously dropping his towel. He didn't glance back at me while I stood there for a moment, mouth hanging open, completely flummoxed by the sight of his, well, perfect ass. A sudden flush of heat sparked in my chest and heat spread to the very center of my being. It took every ounce of willpower I had, but somehow I managed to not follow him into the bedroom. I turned and went back upstairs to begin putting dinner on the table.

I had everything set out and had opened the wine that I found his mother had left us. (What was that woman thinking?) I waited what seemed like forever before pouring a much needed glass. I hesitated to pour one for Tony because he was still underage. Ironically, I realized that he was underage for alcohol, but not underage for the fleeting thoughts that were running through my head. I stood at the window looking out at the street and thinking thoughts that I had no business thinking.

"So, we're eating alone." Tony had come upstairs so quietly and stood right behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck and I involuntarily jumped. He rested a hand lightly on each of my hips. "You were a million miles away. What were you thinking about?"

I couldn't resist smiling at him when I turned around and saw him. He was now dressed in a faded pair of jeans with a hole in the knee. He was barefoot and bare-chested and I almost laughed out loud with delight at his blatant message. "No, I think I'll keep these thoughts to myself."

"You know, Lucy, your dressed too formally for a dinner like this." He said as he looked me up and down. "At least kick off your shoes."

I hesitated. I wasn't just on the short side, I was the short side. I barely topped 5' tall in comparison with what must be his 6' foot frame. Discarding my four inch heels was something I rarely did. I considered and then I said, "Pour me another glass of wine, and one for yourself if you like, and I will relax a bit for you."

"Yes to your relaxing, no thanks to the wine." He answered easily. Stepping back to the table to pour me the glass I requested.

"Really? I thought someone your age would jump at the chance to have a drink."

"No, I'd like to be completely clearheaded tonight....uh, it is my birthday, I don't want to forget a minute."

I kicked off my shoes and slid my jacket off my shoulders to comply with his request to get more comfortable. He rushed over to help me and hung my jacket in the closet before taking my hand and leading me to the table.

I have to honestly say, I don't think I've ever met anyone more gentlemanly than Tony was being tonight. Not in the 20+ years that I had dated and been married to my now ex-husband. Not even any of the men Maria had set me up with measured up to him.

A bit nervously, I moved to my chair to sit down and felt Tony move behind me. I stiffened, and then relaxed as I realized that he was just pushing my chair in for me, again, the perfect gentleman. I could feel his body heat behind me and was again struck by the sheer size of him. I felt even more diminutive than ever.

We ate and talked and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. He told me about his latest break-up with his girlfriend and it seemed that this time it was for good. He was a little bitter, I realized, as he confessed, "You know, she made me wait for her, to you know, 'be ready'. Then she never was, you know, 'ready'. Well, not for me anyway, she did cheat on me though. She made me wait, and then she went and fucked someone else."

"Believe me, I get it. That's how my marriage ended." I replied, the wine beginning to relax me a little. "Bastard ex-husband cheated on me too." Ok, maybe the wine was relaxing me a little more than I thought.

"I can't believe a man who had you could look at another woman. If you were mine, I would have never been able to look away from you." Tony said seriously, pinning me with his soft brown eyes.

I was just a bit fuzzy so it took me a moment to catch up to his earlier statement, but it finally dawned on me what he was saying. He was a virgin. I had to be sure though and the wine had emboldened me.

"Are you a virgin?" I asked bluntly.

His reddening cheeks answered me before he could. She made him wait, and because of the kind of man he had become, he waited. Now, he was completely untried. Again, the wine spoke what I was thinking, "And you don't want to be a virgin anymore do you?"

The phone trilled cutting off his response. He looked at me for a desperate moment before jumping up and moving to the kitchen to answer it.

"Uh huh." I heard through the doorway. "So you think she'll be ok?" Silence, and then, "Ok....yes we're having dinner now....ok, I'll ask her."

"Lucy, can you hang out for a while?" He leaned through the doorway to look at me. "My mom and dad are going to stay at my grandma's tonight just to make sure she's ok." His face was concerned and hopeful all at once. I could discern a trace of guilt too. "She says she hates for all this food to go to waste."

I hesitated, aware of the implication of what he was asking.

"Well, can you stay?" He asked again. "I'd hate to be alone on my birthday."

Oh God, soft brown eyes again, "Ok, I'll stay with you. Tell your mom it's no problem." I answered with a mix of apprehension and anticipation running through me.

I began gathering the used dishes as he finished up the call. We loaded the dishwasher and wiped the surfaces together in complete silence. When we had finished, I turned and found myself face to chest with him. Face to bare chest to be exact. I hadn't been able to take my eyes off of it all night. I had never before seen a god come to life before. But I was sure I was witnessing it now.

I looked up at him and he moved a step closer to me. He said quietly, "Lucy, you are so beautiful."

"Sweetie, I'm so much older than you. What could you possibly see in me? I'm sure there's some hot, young girl out there for you." I answered. Oh please, I thought silently, please let me be the one.

"Lucy, I can't think about anyone but you. That's why my girlfriend left me; that's why she did what she did. We were making out, getting hot and heavy and I called her Lucy." He paused and took a deep breath before saying, "I can't stop thinking about you. It's you that I want, just you.

"You're kidding, right?" I answer incredulous. "I couldn't even keep my husband interested. I mean....he left me. You know this right? He left me for a younger woman, for someone who could give him a child. I'm damaged goods."

"Oh my God!" Tony took a step back from me. "He really did a number on you. Didn't he? You are so beautiful, I have been thinking about you from the day we met. Do you remember that day? I know you looked at me like a kid, because...well I was one...but I saw you Lucy....I SAW you. I swear I fell in love with you that day."

It was my turn to step back from him. Love? He was in love with me? Something inside me just collapsed and I took a step back toward him and said, "Let's go downstairs.....show me your bedroom."

He picked me up, literally swept me off my feet and into his arms, and kissed me. A kiss so deep, so sweet and so hot I swear I heard a chorus of angels. Heaven could not be sweeter than this.

The trip down the stairs and across the room to his bedroom door was fleeting. I wrapped my arms around him and peppered kisses up and down his neck inhaling the pure, clean male scent of him. All I could think about was what was to come. He laid me on the bed and tumbled in after me. His lips met mine and lit a fire within me that I thought had died with my marriage. Now, I realized that the embers were just banked in the hopes that they could be rekindled again. Now, they burst forth into a white hot flame for this god that wanted me more than anyone had ever wanted me before. He leaned over me, holding his body above me just looking into my eyes for a brief moment before his lips descended onto mine once again. Oh, such soft sweet lips...and such a passionate kiss. I allowed myself to melt into him as his tongue explored my mouth. I opened myself to him and his explorations and my hands slid over his chest. Oh, I had been dying to touch him. I reveled in the hardness of his chest and the well-defined muscle.

His hands did some roaming of their own and I felt a tugging on the buttons of my blouse. I reached up to give him a hand. At that moment I would have given him anything that he wanted. I reached behind me to undo my bra and he helped me take both those items off me as quickly as possible. He leaned down to kiss me again and I drowned in the luscious feeling of his rock hard chest against the soft give of my breasts. My nipples turned instantly into stiff pebbles as his tongue explored the depths of my mouth.

He moved his mouth down to lave one of my breasts sending a shuddering bolt of electricity directly south. I moaned softly as he awakened every sense that had been asleep for so long. My body felt alive again at his touch and I eagerly awaited the feel of his long strong fingers everywhere.

His answer to my unspoken request was a sliding kiss to my other breast and a gentle suckling that made the very center of me hot and wet. I felt a longing in me that I had not felt in years; a longing to be filled and satisfied. Something I had not known in a long time.

My hand reached down to unsnap his jeans and he wriggled them down over his hips. I was pleasantly surprised to realize as he moved his hands to help me rid him of his jeans that he was going commando. The jeans really were the only item of clothing separating e from him all night.

His cock sprung out, now unencumbered, hard and long and oh so beautiful. I had only ever experienced my ex-husband and he was much smaller and much thinner than Tony. Tony was....well....HUGE! My pussy involuntarily clenched at the sight and my mouth began to water. I knew that I had to have him in my mouth, I had to taste him. I had to taste him now!

I stopped his generous ministrations over my breasts and he allowed me to roll him over onto his back. I kissed him this time; long and hard and deep. And I moved slowly down his chest to worship the hard angled planes of it and flick my tongue across his nipples this time, then down, even more slowly over his hard six-pack abs; licking and kissing each and every muscle as I made my way down....down to the hard cuts that would lead me to paradise. I ran my tongue up one side of those "cuts" and down the other, until I reached what I knew he wanted me to reach. The place I longed to taste.

I swiped my tongue lovingly over the top of his cock, relishing the flavor of his precum as I did so. I watched the reaction on his face as I did it again. Sucking in his breath, he closed his eyes in pleasure. I kissed, sucked and licked the tip until he opened his eyes again. Then I slid his generous length slowly into my mouth as he watched. He rested his hand gently on the back of my head and sucked in another deep breath. I slid him out again; then back in a little further. I had to give my throat a moment to adjust to his girth before taking him further into my mouth.