The Point of No Return

Josh and I were best friends all through high school. We helped each other with everything from homework to relationship crises. When none of my girlfriends were available, I dragged Josh to the mall (with very little argument on his part) to help me find a dress for homecoming. He'd called me crying when his first girlfriend dumped him after losing their virginity together. Without hesitation, he'd divulged the most intimate secrets of their relationship because he knew I'd never breathe a word of it to anyone. I always knew that when push came to shove, I could count on Josh to lift my spirit -- and keep my secrets. Such was the comfort that came from knowing our relationship was strictly platonic.

After graduation, Josh attended college at our hometown university, while I accepted a full tuition scholarship to a private school five hours away. Josh toiled away studiously during his freshman year. Me, not so much. Feeling foolish and dejected, I returned home halfway through my sophomore year, having failed too many classes to stay. My parents were pissed, and I was humiliated. Josh and I hadn't spoken much since graduation, but I knew he was the perfect - the only - shoulder for me to cry on.

"Long time no talk," replied Josh's nonchalant phone-voice. I was barely in the front door of my parents' house before I had called him.

"Yeah," I tried my hand at enthusiasm through misery, "Long time no talk."

"What's wrong, Meg?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," I lied, "Just tired from the drive in." I knew he didn't buy it, but I also knew it wasn't in Josh's nature to press me for details over the phone. We agreed to meet for dinner that night before crashing a party near campus.

I couldn't believe how great Josh looked when I saw him waiting for me in the parking lot of Giovanni's, leaning against the trunk of his Corolla. His tall, lanky frame had filled out, angled and bulged in all the right places. He had grown facial hair and wore his previously shaggy cut in a shorter, clean-cut style. Jeans and a green half-zip sweater were a grown-up version of the comfortable band t-shirts and basketball shorts he'd worn all through high school. I hadn't realized how much I missed Josh until I saw him again. When he bent down to hug me, I noticed how much stronger he seemed, and how delicious he smelled.

We chatted over dinner about old times, catching up on our families and sharing gossip about members of our graduating class. I didn't want to ruin the moment with my depressing news, so I kept the dinner conversation focused on Josh.

"How's school going?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't ask me in return.

"Great," he told me, "It's a lot of work, but I'm already looking at internships for my junior year."

"That's so exciting!" I replied, hoping I sounded sincerely happy.

"How's the drama world?" Josh asked as he reached for the check. I couldn't put my finger on why, but something about Josh buying me dinner seemed weird.

"Oh..." I stalled, "It's... dramatic, alright." I didn't want to lie to him, but I wasn't quite ready to shift the focus from his success to my pending nervous breakdown.

"Didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?" I inquired, as we scooted our way out of the booth seats, "How's that going?"

"You mean Julie?"

I nodded.

"Well, it was going great until I figured out she was sleeping around." He laughed uncomfortably as he held the front door open for me.

"Oh, God," I said, "I'm so sorry."

"Eh, well, you've always said I have horrible taste in women."

It was true. Josh was an amazing person in so many ways -- fun, caring, motivated -- but I always assumed he had low self-esteem. I never really liked any of his girlfriends, who always seemed to take advantage of his kindness. I felt sorry for him and wished I could make him feel better.

"Well," I sighed, "If it makes you feel any better... I dropped out of school."

"Megan!" Josh demanded, "Why the hell'd you do that?"

"I kind of had to," I explained sheepishly, "I failed a couple of classes and they wouldn't let me stay."

I barely had the words out of my mouth before my eyes started welling up. In the parking lot of Giovanni's, Josh pulled me in for the most comforting hug. In the arms of unconditional friendship, I felt myself falling apart. I blubbered into Josh's firm chest as he cradled me, stroking my hair and shushing my sobs.

"I'm such an idiot," I said, "I should have studied more,"

"Aw, Meg..."

"I-I should have picked something more realistic than theatre for Christ's sake!"

"No," he argued emphatically, "What you need to do is stop being so hard on yourself," he pulled away and looked straight into my tear-streaked face. "You are the most creative, resilient person I've ever met. You'll find something you love to do, and you'll be great at it."

"You think so?"

"I know so," he affirmed, "And don't worry about your parents. They love you and they'll come around."

"I just feel... I'm so embarrassed..." I sniffed.

"You're embarrassed? Try being the only one on campus oblivious to the fact that your girlfriend is cheating on you..."

"That bad, huh?"

He raked his hands through his hair, "She made me look like a complete jackass."

"How could you have known?"

"You don't understand, Meg," he explained, "I caught her alone in her room with another guy and she told me they were studying. With the door locked and the lights off. And no books in sight."

"Ouch."

"She fed me one bullshit story after another and I bought every single one of them." He sat on the bumper of his car, shaking his head.

I sat next to him and rubbed his shoulder.

For possibly the third time in my entire life, I was speechless. I wasn't accustomed to Josh being this open with me about his dating life, and while I wasn't exactly uncomfortable with the information he was sharing, I still had absolutely no idea how to attempt to cheer him up.

"Well aren't we just a barrel of fun?" I laughed, as I tried to wipe the mascara streaks from my face.

"Yeah."

"Wait --" I thought out loud, "If you're that embarrassed by this whole thing, why did you want to go to a campus party tonight?"

"Actually, I didn't," he admitted, "I was just trying to think of something fun for you to do on what I thought would be your brief visit home."

I confessed that I wasn't crazy about the idea of socializing with a bunch of matriculators. Josh feared running into Julie or any one of her gaggle of girlfriends. Instead, we decided to take a drive past some of our old stomping grounds.

"Do you mind driving?" I asked him, "I'm kind of over it."

We got into Josh's car and headed toward a familiar stretch of parkway along the river. We drove for a while in a comfortable silence, both of us likely digesting the information we'd exchanged.

"So, we've covered my love life," Josh laughed, "How about yours?"

"What love life?" I joked, "I had a few dates in Pennsylvania but they never turned into anything. Hell, I haven't been laid in over a year."

Josh stayed eerily quiet after I made that comment, and I wondered if I had offended him. We were close enough that nothing was considered off limits, but sex on a personal level wasn't something we routinely discussed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Josh asked shyly.

"Of course,"

"I may seriously regret asking this, and I hope you don't take it the wrong way but..." he stammered, "In high school, did you ever...?"

"Did I ever what?"

"Did you ever...think of me as anything more than a friend?"

I was more than a little surprised by his question, and sorely unprepared to answer it. In high school, I'd never had a real reason to think of Josh as anything other than my stable, dependable surrogate big brother.

But now?

Now I was lonely and broken, and he was the attractive, successful, charming man who'd managed to cheer me up.

"I don't really know how to answer that, Josh," I said honestly, "We've always been truthful with each other, and I really don't know what to say."

"Oh," he seemed a little surprised, "It just seemed like maybe you were hinting at something, when you mentioned that you haven't had sex in a while."

"I wasn't hitting on you," I clarified, stunned that he'd even expected it.

"Oh," Josh replied, clearly embarrassed, "Um—sorry. Guess my radar's off."

"But I must say," I found myself admitting, "Tonight I'm seeing you in a whole new light."

That seemed to perk him back up. "What's so different?"

"I don't know," I struggled to explain, "Probably just the fact that it's been months since I've seen you. Not to mention you look different. More grown up."

"You look different, too," Josh teased, "I certainly never pictured you in hooker boots."

"Hooker boots?!" I feigned offense, "I'll have you know, sir, that I get more compliments on these things..." "I'm just teasing, Meg," Josh turned to look at me as we paused at a traffic light, "You look really nice."

Josh had complimented me countless times over the years, and it had never felt any different than when my dad said "You look nice," as I dashed out the front door. This time, I detected an unfamiliar brand of sincerity in his voice -- coupled with a subtle hint of flirtation.

I'd spent my high school years lusting over the quarterbacks, lead singers and rebels. Every outfit I'd worn since the eighth grade had been dictated by whichever ridiculous trend the fashion industry had recycled from generations past. The clique of girls I'd dedicated my social life to for four solid years had dissolved to various sororities across the Midwest, and I hadn't spoken to any of them in over a year. Truth be told, I hadn't really missed any of them, though I'd once declared them my 'best friends forever' through social networking sites and spiral-bound doodlings. How quickly all the priorities of adolescence had been harshly illuminated as irrelevant, and almost embarrassing to admit. Yet inexplicably -- in the face of true adulthood, in all its glorious independence and burden -- there was still Josh.

I looked over at him and suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I watched as he nervously smoothed crumbs from his lap, and popped a mint in his mouth. I noticed the evidence that before seeing me tonight, he'd taken the time to apply gel to his hair, iron his shirt and spray some cologne. And although it was in desperate need of vacuuming, his car was nearly devoid of trash and recognizable food particles. Gone was the boy I'd grown up with -- rumpled, disorganized and occasionally smelly. In his place was a man -- a man -- who'd taken the time to present me with an enjoyable evening. An evening that felt suspiciously more like a date with every passing minute. "Josh...?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go somewhere?" I asked tentatively.

"Sure," he agreed, "Where'd you have in mind?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't know," I replied, willing my voice not to waver, "Somewhere... private."

Josh momentarily searched my face for meaning, and a soft smile swept across his face.

"That sounds great."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The idea of seducing my best friend was both exhilarating and terrifying. The awkward drive to our chosen destination made me wonder if we were getting ready to do something we would both regret. In truth, I wondered if the mere conversation about sex had pushed our friendship beyond the point of no return. We decided against my parent's house, and his dorm room was a non-option due to the likely presence of his roommate. When we agreed upon Josh's dad's barber shop, I knew we were both thinking of the dilapidated sofa in the staff lounge.

The familiar smell of the shop offered me some comfort. I had been in the shop numerous times -- many of which spent as a last-minute shampoo girl -- and a whole new set of adolescent memories came flooding back. Josh locked the door behind us, and led me to the back room. He found an unglamorous pillar candle in the utility drawer (likely stashed in the event of a power outage) and placed it on the round lunch table next to the sofa. I stood nervously, unsure of exactly how to proceed. I had never even seen Josh kiss one of his girlfriends, so I had no idea what to expect.

After lighting the candle, he turned and walked toward me. I heard his breathing quicken and felt the tremor in his large hand as it slid across my cheek, pulling my face closer to his. His warm lips covered mine, as an audible gasp betrayed my throat. I ran my arms up his torso, anchoring myself to his shoulders. With his free hand, Josh pressed my body to his. He parted his lips and used his tongue to gently pry mine open. He hungrily probed my mouth, growling as I put my hands under his shirt and raked my nails up and down his smooth back.

"Megan," Josh pulled away, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure," I promised, hoping that I really was.

Josh pulled his shirt over his head -- followed by mine -- and I marveled at the sight of his bare chest and arms. These were parts of him I'd seen dozens of times by my parents' pool, but it was as if I was seeing them for the first time. I blushed under the heat of his gaze as he dropped to his knees and unzipped my boots, helping me step out of each one. He ran his hands up my calf and thigh, stopping to massage my ass.

"Mmmm..." he groaned, "You don't know how many times I've thought about this ass."

Standing once again, Josh fumbled with my bra. Right about the time I'd decided to help him, he successfully navigated the clasp and I heard the garment fall to the floor. I beamed with pride when I saw the reverent look on his face upon seeing my breasts for the first time. I watched excitement replace nervousness as he touched them, running his thumbs over my hard nipples. My body reacted instantly to his touch, fluid flowing to the throbbing spot between my legs.

Josh laid me down beneath him on the old floral sofa. The gentle way he did this reminded me of all the times he'd taken care of me over the years, literally and figuratively. I was amused by the thought of him taking extra steps not to overwhelm me, when what I desperately wanted was for him to ravage my body, make me his. I felt his hardness pressing tentatively against my aching center, and I knew he was holding himself back. In an effort to assure him I wasn't breakable, I began thrusting my hips hard against his. We melted into a rhythm of foreplay -- his face buried in my neck, our pulsating sexes begging to be relieved. Josh pulled my skirt up around my waist, and slid my panties off. His hand, shaking once again, roved up my thigh until he reached the soft, dewy curls between my legs. His strong hand kneaded my mound until I felt the force of orgasm attempting to overtake me. Then suddenly, he stopped.

"W-what's wrong?" I mumbled, delirious and confused.

"We can't do this here," Josh muttered, obviously struggling to regain composure.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "I thought no one would find us here--"

"I've thought about this for so long, Meg," he confided, "I want this more than anything, but you deserve more than my dad's old broken couch."

My heart melted at this exact moment, when I realized this meant as much to Josh as it meant to me. Regardless of how unexpectedly it had erupted this particular night, it had been a long time coming. I wondered how many opportunities we had missed over the years.

"If this is up to me," I pleaded, "I really don't want to stop."

"Megan, are you sure?"

I wanted to pause for a moment, fully consider the reality of what was happening. Maybe weigh the pros and cons of exposing our friendship to this level of intimacy. But all I could think about was how much I missed the heat of his hand between my thighs, and how I longed to feel the weight of him on top of me.

"Please don't stop."

Still looking at me, Josh slid his middle finger inside my pussy, curling it forward -- soft at first, then with stronger pressure. I inhaled sharply as I struggled to process the lively sensation of pleasure, with a tinge of pain. I felt the tip of his thumb brush against my clit and I shuddered, intoxicated by the dual sensations of his fingers inside me and on my most responsive spot.

Josh left a trail of kisses down my chest, past my belly button and along my thighs. I felt his breath against my wet core, and I hissed when his tongue slid between my lips. Looking down and seeing my best friend's face buried in my pussy pushed me over the edge. A hot, prickly buzz invaded my core and spread throughout my body as I crashed into a shuddering climax.

Temporarily satiated, I decided a reward was in order. With an frisky grin, I pushed Josh onto his back on the other end of the couch, crawling mischievously to him. In a bold, cheese move straight from the soap operas, I whipped his belt off in one strike, launching it haphazardly across the room. Josh laughed, likely wondering what kind of horny she-devil had taken possession of his childhood friend. I heard no complaints, however, as I leaned forward to nibble on his neck, pausing occasionally to flick my tongue across his earlobe. Josh lifted his hips beneath me, aiding in the removal of his jeans. Once again, Josh grabbed my ass and began grinding my soaking wet pussy against his cotton-covered manhood. When I felt myself approaching a second orgasm from this relatively chaste friction, I stopped and knelt before him. I pulled at his boxer briefs until his erection sprang free, unable to hide my reaction to its impressive size.

"Well, well, well," I teased, my face inches from his bare crotch, "You've been holding out on me all these years..."

I pumped my hand up and down his generous shaft, watching pearls of precum bead around the tip. I lowered my mouth onto the tip of his cock and applauded myself for the hiss I heard from above. While sucking rhythmically on the head, I swirled my tongue around the ridge below it. I gradually pushed myself farther, taking increasingly longer lengths of him inside my mouth. It wasn't enough to know I was pleasuring Josh -- I wanted to rock his world and dazzle him with a side of me he'd never seen, with skills he never thought possible. I took a deep breath and forced the entirety of him far down my throat. Josh reacted with a primal growl that instantly hardened my nipples and readied my pussy for Round Two. I continued torturing him with a combination of moves -- rapid, repetitive assaults on the tip, punctuated by slow, deep acceptance of his full length.

When his dick became hard as granite, I knew he was close. I craved more of his elemental taste, needing it to complete the full-sensory experience. Panting from exertion, I gave him every ounce of energy I had, demanding his release. I felt Josh's cum splash against the back of my throat as he cried out in grateful release.

As it turns out, I wasn't the only one of us with surprises up their sleeve. Josh grabbed my face with both hands, pushing me back onto the sofa. Bracing his forehead against mine, he reached between us to raise my skirt and spread my legs. Once properly aligned, Josh pushed his still-hard cock against my opening. I sucked in a sharp breath with every inch he took, my body struggling to accept his imposing girth. As a signal to Josh that I was okay, I began moving my hips against his. I pulled him close so I could feel his torso against mine -- a move done for the purpose of intimacy that happened to produce an electrifying sensation between my clit and his pelvis. It wasn't long before I came again, this time from a deeper, more powerful place. Josh's pace quickened as the grace and dexterity of his movements melted into rapid thrusts. Once again, his voice filled the tiny room in a series of throaty groans as he came.