The Story of Mallory Ch. 12bySAWade1968©
Chapter 12 – Ryan Leaves
By the time Mallory recovered from her pneumonia and returned to work, she realized she had made a mistake by going back to Kyle. She was grateful for all she had learned about the lifestyle, the Master/slave relationship was something she had needed, had craved; she was truly a slave at heart, but until he had introduced her to it, she had not been able to put a name to her desires.
Still, for all of her longings, Mallory did not know how to end things with him; she felt trapped by her wedding vows. Every time she was with Ryan, she felt guilty for cheating on Kyle; happy, but guilt-ridden. Sometimes she wished Ryan would come into her cubicle with two plane tickets to anywhere but there, claim her as his, and take her away; other times, reality would sink in and she knew if he did, she would not go anyway. He was not strong enough, he was not powerful, he was not a Master, but she was a slave.
However, Mallory continued to see Ryan; they would steal away for an evening out, a long leisurely breakfast, and even weekend getaways at his apartment where they would have to stay indoors the entire time so nobody would catch them together. Sneaking around was unusual for her, she felt childish and ashamed; though, being with him was the most fun she had in a long time, actually ever. Ryan treated her like she mattered to him; he never made her feel self-conscious about her body, he held her when she cried, and he always had a ready smile for her when she saw him.
If her co-workers had started to notice anything unusual was occurring between them, Mallory would have never guessed; maybe she was too wrapped up in being happy. "So, enjoying a little something on the side these days?" Suzie asked Mallory as she opened the door to the break room one morning. Suzie had been talking to Melanie and Todd; the three of them throwing knowing glances at each other.
"What are you talking about?" Mallory was astonished at her friend's accusations, especially in front of so many people.
"Oh, come on, Mal," chimed in Todd, "It's not as if we don't all see the two of you going to lunch together, or sitting in the break room talking closely. Besides, it's written all over your face now."
"Really, Mallory," Suzie's voice was dripping with sarcasm, "I feel bad for Kyle; you know my relationship almost broke up because of John cheating. I can't believe you."
"Yeah, Mal," Todd just looked her up and down now, "Nobody has any respect for what you're doing."
"You guys, wait," Mallory called after them as they started out the door, "Melanie, come on. Let me explain something..." But, they had all left by then, and Mallory was left staring after them. She had not noticed Freddie standing by the coffee pot watching the scene unfold.
"Don't worry, Mallory," he started to sooth her, "It's going to be okay."
"Oh, thank you," she replied, feeling relieved.
"Yeah, I know the truth," his mouth turned into an ugly grin, confusing Mallory, "Ryan told me all about you guys. Every time you go out, what you do..."
"What?" Mallory's eyes filled with tears, she was instantly sick to her stomach.
"Don't worry, though," he responded as if to make her feel better, "I'm pretty sure he hasn't told anybody else; and I only told a few guys."
"Oh my god..." Mallory ran out of the room, Freddie laughing behind her.
"What's the big deal?" he called after her, laughter in his voice.
Mallory sat at her desk trying to concentrate, the sting of betrayal in her heart; the irony of her own betrayal not yet reaching her mind. She wanted to leave work early, in fact, she wanted to run away.
Ring. Ring. She looked down, she saw Ryan's extension pop up on her Caller ID; they had plans to go out after work, but the thought made her nauseous.
"Hello," she answered flatly.
"Hey, Sunshine," Ryan was clueless, as usual, Mallory thought somewhat hatefully.
"Hi, Ryan," Mallory was impatient with him, "I'm pretty busy, I think I may have to work overtime. Jerry is really pushing me to get some accounts balanced before I leave." She was lying, but she really did not want to go out with him tonight; she needed to buy some time before she could face him.
"No problem, Baby," he was so easy-going; she did love some of his traits, "Some other time. See you tomorrow."
Mallory stared at the receiver as she hung the phone back in the cradle; now she was stuck going home to Kyle, the last place she wanted to be. She worked the accounts as slowly as she could trying to drag her afternoon out, but there was nothing she could do; when it was not even 4:30, she was finished.
Kyle's apathetic attitude toward her when she unexpectedly arrived home hours early since her plans with Ryan fell through only solidified her need to end her relationship with him, for good this time. Mallory was miserable; she wanted to be a slave to a true Master, she knew it was not going to be Kyle.
She thought she had been falling for Ryan; even loving somebody who was not exactly what you needed had to be better than what she had with Kyle. However, when she found out he had been telling people about their secret love affair, she felt betrayed and disappointed. He had to know she would be devastated and embarrassed; she was married and having people know she was cheating made her look like the cheap and sleazy liar she felt like. He did nothing to protect her, even though she always thought he had been; she was exhausted and alone.
Over the next few weeks, Mallory took on any new work offered to her and worked all of the overtime she could; anything to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation with Ryan. She did not know how to tell him she did not want to see him anymore. If anybody had ever been stuck between a rock and a hard place before, Mallory thought, then it's me.
Mallory hated to hurt anybody, but she did not want to be with either of these men; she secretly wish Kyle would find out about Ryan and would break up with her, and she wished Ryan would find another girlfriend.
Then, one day, at least half of her problem was solved, "Mal, Baby," Ryan approached her one day in the break room, "I have to talk to you, it's serious." He looked troubled, so Mallory didn't try to avoid him.
"Sure, do you want to go outside," she said, truly worried about him, thinking about how much she had once cared about him.
"Yeah," he followed her as she led him to the picnic tables scattered around the patio. They walked past the few smokers around the corner so they could get some privacy. At this point, Mallory didn't care about what people would say; it was too late for her reputation to be preserved.
"Mal," he started, his eyes brimming with tears, "I have to quit." He looked up, off into the mountains, unable to face her.
"What?" she asked, afraid of the reasons, "If this is because of us, then please..."
"What?" he seemed confused for a minute, "No, Sunshine, you don't understand. My mom is dying. She needs me, I have to go. She lives in Utah, I can't stay here anymore. I'm leaving next week. If you want to come with..." His words trailed off, knowing she would say no.
"Oh, Ryan," Mallory wanted to hug him, she did care about him, "I'm so sorry." She had wanted an ending, but not this way.
"Can I see you," he looked at her, pleading, "At least one more time before I go?"
"Yes," she looked at him, her eyes tearing now, too, "I'm going to miss you, you know." They stood there, looking at each other; neither one of them sure of what to say.
A few days later, Mallory went to Ryan's apartment; boxes were stacked everywhere, physical evidence of his permanent departure. Her heart sunk at the sight; she felt like she was losing her best friend, the only person she had been able to be herself with for so long.
They stood there, in the middle of the boxes, holding each other; at first they simply held each other tightly, neither of them speaking, she cried softly into his chest, as he let a few tears fall into her long dark hair. Standing there swaying in the living room, she started to wonder if she was doing the right thing; maybe she should leave with him. Ryan had been so nice to her, he was so much nicer than Kyle; she was positive he loved her. Maybe she could give up her desire to be a slave.
Ryan placed his fingers on her chin pulling her face up to meet his, his soft lips met hers, kissing away her cries. His tongue parted her lips, finding her tongue; he slowly and gently began to caress her mouth with his tongue, exploring her. His hands started to move across her shoulders, over her back, and down her hips. Mallory became lost in the sensuousness of their lovemaking, and soon they began to shed their clothes, tossing their garments to the floor.
Mallory took Ryan's hand and led him to the bedroom; she lay down on the bed and beckoned him to join her between the sheets. He lay beside her, softly moving the hair out of her eyes, gently kissing her face. They spent their time slowly exploring each other, kissing every inch of each other, spending time only in the moment. She would leave a trail of kisses down his chest, ending on his stomach, and then he would do the same to her.
Ryan would nibble and kiss her ear, making a trail down her neck, stopping to suck and kiss her breasts, and then Mallory would do the same. They made love slowly, like they were lovers discovering each other for the first time, sadly, for the last time. There was no hurried rush to orgasm; when he finally entered her, they looked deeply into each other's eyes and connected with each other on a level they hadn't before. When he came, he collapsed on top of her, "Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry; you didn't cum, did you?"
Mallory pulled him close to her so he would not move off of her, "No, but please don't move. I don't want you to leave yet."
They lay on the bed together for what felt like hours, until finally Mallory spoke again, "I'm sorry, Ryan, but it's getting late, and I have to go home."
"I know, Baby," he whispered, slowly rolling off of her, kissing her forehead.
They dressed silently then stood in the middle of the living room together looking around; "It looks so different," Mallory spoke first, "We really had a lot of fun here, all of those weekends, locked away."
"Mal, don't..." Ryan's voice was shaky.
"Ryan, if things were different..." Mallory hugged him tightly.
"Bye, Mal," he needed her to go, "You know, I really did love you."
"I loved you, too, Ryan," she looked up at him, kissing him for the last time.
Mallory walked out to her car alone, it was too painful to see him anymore; she could not even look back at his door. She needed it to be over, she wanted it to be over; still, she was going to be lonely without him, and he had been there when she was lonely, when she needed him.
The weeks after Ryan left were lonely; Mallory tried again with Kyle, but the more she tried with him, the more he pushed her away. It seemed as if she could not do anything right. She was becoming increasingly lonelier; she could not understand why she did not just walk away.
"Kyle," she started one night, "Can we talk?"
"What is it you want now?" he retorted rudely.
"Well," Mallory sat on her knees by his desk, trying to please him, "I want to talk about our Master/slave relationship. I want this to work. I honestly want to please you."
"Oh, right," he stared at his computer, not even looking at her.
"Kyle," she begged, "Please at least look at me. I can't fix this on my own."
"Look, Mal," he finally turned around and glared at her, "Do whatever you want. This isn't therapy. I'm not talking about it. If you can do something to be pleasing to me, go ahead. I don't need any help."
"Mallory," she heard a voice as she turned around from her computer, it was Randy, the Plant Manager, "This is Michael, our new Operations Manager. I need you to go over the entire payroll stuff, oh and human resources stuff since Hillary is out."
Mallory stood up from her desk, putting her hand out, immediately noticing his incredible dark eyes, square jaw, and wide shoulders, "So nice to meet you, Michael." Wow, incredible handshake she thought to herself.
"Great to meet you, too," he replied, his deep voice instantly making her feel dizzy, "You can call me Mike if you want, everybody else does."
"Well, I don't' want to be like everybody else," she flirted, "I prefer Michael."
"You two will be spending quite a bit of time together for the first few days Mike is here," Randy cut into their banter, Mallory had forgotten he was even there, "Mallory, can I leave him with you then?"
"Oh, certainly," she watched as Randy left her cubicle, "Shall we get started then, Michael?"