tagTranssexuals & CrossdressersThe Struggle Ch. 00

The Struggle Ch. 00


Rob - main character
Helena - his wife
Marion - widow; very much in love with Rob
Cathy - friend (psychiatrist)
Kim - friend (local doctor)
Kate - sister of Helena
Carmen - friend; member of the circle (women society)
Bridget - friend; owner of a theater shop (- and more mature items)
Michelle - friend
Lisa - owner of a bridal shop
Olga - friend; member of the circle
Helga - friend of Olga
Jenny - Rob's ex-wife
Sylvia - member of Helena's security organization

Nicky and Inca - Rob's Doberman dogs

Reader, this story is the follow-up of 'a game within a game part 1-2-3'. Actually it's part 4, but the title didn't cover the contents anymore.



At the breakfast table Rob told Helena that Bridget had asked him to visit her store. She wanted to show him something that could be used in their new, soon to be built 'playroom'.

"You can't come along Helena, she explicitly asked me to come alone. It seems she wants it to be a surprise to you and our friends and lovers, hence the request. While Marion assured me she can be trusted I am concerned, it seems every time a mistress asks something of me, a little voice inside is telling me, 'be careful'."

He watched Helena's face to see her reaction while he told her about the invitation as he really didn't like the idea of going there alone and wanted her input. Bridget owned a shop with all kinds of theater clothes, but she also happened to be a Mistress who had previously told him that she would like to do a 'session' with him. Not that he was frightened per se, but he had found some dominant women could be very persuasive, or even demanding of him, in trying to get him to do things he didn't want to do. He needed Bridget as a supplier for some important 'play tools' (the other part of her business), she knew that of course, and he was afraid she would surely use that as leverage to get him to 'play' with her.

"Given what has happened to you, Rob, I can understand your concerns." Marion had just joined them, when she entered the room she wore her long black peignoir with a short nightgown beneath, which flowed around her and showed vaguely her nipples. She kissed both Rob and Helena very tenderly. "However, Bridget is a good friend of mine, and she is naturally curious about a man who has gathered 4 women around him," Marion said in defending her friend.

Rob said diffidently "I didn't gather 4 women, Helena did".

"Oh no," Helena said sharply, "if you were not here, I'm absolutely certain Cathy would not be going to live with us. And I'm pretty sure that about Marion, too!"

Marion answered warily. "I think you are right Helena, I love you, and I care for you, but if Rob hadn't come back (she was referring to the last blow up, when Rob had left Helena for almost 2 months), I would probably be living on my own again".

"There, you see Rob?" Helena grinned, "You are just the heart-breaker. You are also the only man Kim would want to be around; but of course I don't count, I'm just your wife."

Rob shook his head, and didn't answer. He knew when it was better to keep his mouth shut; the best thing for him in the future was not to argue with them. Four against one, he would always lose.

"I'm going to take a walk," he announced, "I'll be back in an hour," kissed Marion and Helen, then headed for the living room and whistled to his dogs Nicky and Inca.

He decided to make a long walk, the dogs were no longer puppies, though still very young, but they grow fast and they were able to make longer journeys. He wanted them to learn new commands, like 'halt' and 'attack'.
The latter became more important, when they had visited an inn a few days ago, he had gotten insulted and harassed, and if Marion hadn't interfered, dressed in her domina outfit, he didn't know what would have happened.

When he left, Helena said to Marion: "Bridget phoned me, Rob doesn't know, but I am to come also, but should use the back-entrance of the shop. Bridget can be trusted but for some reason I think she wants to fool Rob. She didn't give me many details, but she urged me to wear a sexy outfit".

Marion smiled: "Yes, that is Bridget. So she does want to surprise Rob... Rob should listen to his little voices. She is really playing a dangerous game, you know how he can be. Does she really know what he is like..."
Marion was lost in her thoughts for a few moments then spoke. "You know she is a Mistress, independent, unmarried, but popular amongst submissives. I have known her for a long time, I met her first with John (Marion's deceased husband) and he introduced me to her. She and I have done many sessions, in fact she was my tutor in BDSM and I actually liked it. I was green as grass when I met her and now I'm the one giving you lessons".

"You never told me what you and John did," Helena said.

"John was a real sub in contrast to Rob; Rob can be submissive, if he trusts you and if he is in the mood but it is only in play with him".

Helena sighed and nodded her head. "Yes, I know. I don't know what Bridget is up to, but I will tell her to be very, very careful. Rob is short fused, so only if I am absolutely certain he can handle whatever she is thinking up will I tell her it is okay; otherwise I will tell Bridget the game is not going to happen..."

"Don't let her drag you into something what can end in a tragedy," Marion warned her.

"I absolutely won't let myself drag me into something, if I can't predict the consequences! But you were telling me about John."

Marion continued on. "John was a doctor, and as such he had to deal with a lot of problems. Death, sickness, mental problems, all kinds of issues. However, when you can't leave your work behind you at the end of the day, when you take it all too personally and bring it home into your personal life, you have a big problem. I think that is why he eventually committed suicide," Marion saw Helena gesturing as if to say no.

"Yes Helena, I have denied it for a long time, but Rob was right. I also believe he took his own life despite all I tried, I no longer blame myself." she stayed in silence for a few moments before continuing on.

"John introduced me to the S&M world; I think he saw it as an escape, to leave the real world behind in submitting to me, his Mistress".
Marion drank some more coffee, cleared her throat with emotion and continued her story.

"Sometimes, when the weekend had started, he immediately referred to me as Mistress Marion while frankly I wasn't in the mood at all. I hadn't the heart to reject him as he had told me that he needed this to give his thoughts a rest. What I should have seen then is that an S&M game is an escape possibility, but not a cure for what ails someone. He should have visited a psychologist or psychiatrist from the start and not at the end, when the symptoms became worse. I'm still not certain whether his problems were related to a disease or from his work that he couldn't handle well....maybe both."

Marion started to eat a sandwich and Helena poured them both another cup of coffee.

"So the sessions you did with John were not personally satisfying?" Helena asked.

Marion finished her sandwich and carried on with her explanation "No, absolutely not. I thought he needed it, and therefore I learned it, and I have to admit I liked it, sometimes. But I ultimately had in my mind that it was some kind of temporary cure for John, it was not a spontaneous expression of some deep need of mine".

"I see. So the session we last did must be a relief to you, to finally not have the burden of trying to cure someone but rather simply enjoy it as a domme and partner."

"Absolutely. I could cry out of gratitude. Rob finally surrendered to me, and I was able to give him pleasure and it was without compromises. It was not needed for a cure, it was just out of lust and love, and it felt a little like a love story to me, I cannot describe it, but it freed me. All those things I had done with John, sometimes very severe, was nothing compared to the feeling I got from the session with Rob - and maybe with you in the near future," and at the last words her eyes glanced at Helena mischievously.

Helena blushed, she had undergone her first session with Cathy as a submissive, and she had enjoyed it very much, much more than she ever would admit, and she knew she couldn't fool Cathy and Marion any more.

Cathy and Kim had left them just yesterday, Kim had to make her regular house-calls and Cathy would be seeing new patients today. Tomorrow Helena, Marion and Rob would move back into his house that had been refurbished and now had 3 completely newly decorated bedrooms.

Helena thought about what they had discussed about what had been her house (and would be where all of them lived eventually) and finally put the things they wanted to change on paper as a reminder for the architect. Rob had almost everything figured out in terms of a wish list: 2 elevators, one from the new playroom to their bedrooms, one for the staff at the other side of the building, a complete rebuild of the bedrooms on the first floor that would include for each of them a new bathroom and bedroom, an office/computer room, a kitchenette and a sitting room.

The bathroom of Rob and Helena would be the largest as they wanted to be able to shower with the 5 of them together, and the same for their bedroom, it was laid out to have enough room for 2 large beds.
For himself Rob had designed an especially large walk-in closet, for he had 2 wardrobes, his male wardrobe and a huge female wardrobe.

The room behind the cellar would be made into a 'gym local', with a few smaller rooms as a 'study', a wardrobe and bathroom with a large built-in bath, to be able to do 'water sports' as Marion called it.

Behind the 'gym local' another room would be built for the 'gym equipment'.
They would of course discuss it with Cathy as well to see if based on her experience if she had something special in mind to add to their design. To keep her psychiatrist practice Cathy would also get three extra rooms downstairs in a wing of the estate that currently was out of use: she would have a waiting room, an examining room and a study there.

Except for the elevators, everything else could be done in a reasonable amount of time. Helena and Rob were very rich, and they could afford to carry out a lot of work at the same time by employing a lot of contractors and their crews to do the work.

Rob and Helena had made an appointment with the architect to discuss the latest details, the man would visit them tomorrow afternoon at the estate where they would make a final round through it and when he left, they would pack their belongings and leave. The staff would take care of the rest.

Helena actually enjoyed living in Rob's house. She and Marion were very close and had become lovers while Rob of course had the attention of both women. His house (that was also her house of course) was situated in a nearby town and it would be a welcome change, after living so long on the estate. It meant they had to prepare their own dinners, do the grocery shopping and so on, just like normal people.

Rob had recently bought the apartment below his house as well, so he had more space, but for the time being the apartment below was still divided from his original house. When the estate renovations were done, Rob's house would also get a renovation. The plan was to build a staircase to reach the upper floor, were the living room now was situated.

"So tonight is the last night for a month or longer we spend here?" Marion asked.

"Indeed, it is our last possibility to play, but I think Rob won't be in the mood, to be honest. I have no idea what Bridget is up to, but you can be assured it is S&M related," Helena sighed.
"Nothing to do about it, she has prepared a little plan and I have to find out what it is as soon as possible".

"I really hope we still can do a session, like last week. Not just for the sex and the intimacy, but for the feeling of us really being together, as lovers and soulmates. Helena, if anything is bothering you that has to do with me, please tell me immediately, I don't want to have secrets or mistrust between us," Marion stepped towards Helena and kissed her on her mouth, and Helena replied tenderly to that kiss and put her arms around Marion's shoulders and made her sit on her lap. She then opened Marion's peignoir and caressed her breasts.

"You are so dear to me, we have to promise each other, whenever we feel uncomfortable about something, to say it immediately." Helena kissed Marion again. "I definitively want to do a session with you this evening, with or without Rob."

"Yes, we will, I'm looking forward to that, I'm so glad everything is OK between us again," Marion answered.

Marion stood up and took her seat again. Both women looked in love with each other and suddenly both blushed about their feelings and started to laugh. "We behave like teenagers," Marion said, grinning. She had the feeling she finally was 'home', being with both Helena and Rob.
They finished their breakfast and both went upstairs, to take a shower and prepare themselves for this day. Helena hurried, she knew that when Rob came home, he soon would leave again for his appointment and she then had to follow him discreetly.

Bridget's shop

Helena hurried to get herself ready but it wasn't necessary as Rob took his time coming back home. Rob had found a quiet place in the nearby forest and there he had started to train his dogs. They were eager to learn, considered everything a game and became very enthusiastic with the 'attack' command especially. They understood clearly what he meant with 'attack', but to withdraw when he wanted them to stop was not so easy. But, he would train them each day from now on, not to make them aggressive, but rather that they needed to know what to do in an emergency like at that inn.

Then he remembered his appointment with Bridget, he phoned her and asked what time he was expected. She told him that the shop was closed today, and that he could come right now. So he brought his dogs home, told Helena and Marion goodbye and soon was on his way to Bridget's place.

Bridget's shop wasn't too far from where he lived and within 30 minutes he had arrived. Rob saw that there was no light burning, like the last time when he arrived with Marion, and walked to the front door and pushed the bell. Immediately a light went on and he saw Bridget approaching inside. She opened the door and said "Welcome Rob, I'm glad you could make it," and she gave him a kiss on his cheek. He kissed her back as she was always friendly to him.

"Follow me Rob, I have something to show you."

Bridget walked ahead of him. He now could take a good look at her and noted she was dressed in a black dress that reached down to her knees. He saw she also was wearing nylons and the inevitable black high heels. They reached the room with all the S&M stuff in it that she kept hidden from the public. At the back of that room she opened a door, that gave admittance to a larger room. Immediately Rob recognized the device that hung from the ceiling, it was the same kind of frame Cathy had in her attic. Now he knew where she had gotten it from originally.

"This frame is identical to the one Cathy has," Rob remarked to Bridget.

"That is correct Rob, I have someone who makes them for me and I sell it only to special customers, like yourself" Bridget declared.

"This one has been made especially for you. I made inquiries about your size, so that when you are tied up by your Mistresses," Bridget watched him very circumspectly for his reaction, then she continued, "the cuffs are about 5 inches from the frame, so you can not touch it. There is a foothold here," she pointed to a place on the downside of the frame, "where you can stand on your feet. Furthermore the possibility to support the rest of your body has been made possible by the use of a leather harness, what can be tied around your chest. The fun thing about this frame is that it can be used to give you a feeling of floating in space, especially when you are blindfolded. I can change the angle forwards or backwards, and you can be moved through the room as well." A rail was fastened to the ceiling and the pulley was fastened to a glider, so the whole construction could be moved. "It's also handy if you want this out of sight; just bring the frame behind a curtain like that," and she pointed to the curtain in the back of the room.

Rob liked what he saw, it would create possibilities to hang someone horizontally or even upside down.

"And you want me to try it I reckon?" Rob asked though he already knew the answer. "I think you have tested it yourself?" He continued.

"Yes and yes," Bridget answered. "The builder of this frame and I have both been tied up to it and we liked it. If you don't tell the others how this works the first one who is tied up to it will get a pretty unexpected experience."

Bridget pointed at the pulleys: "I handle all by hand, but you can - and I advise that - use electric pulleys and also for the rail system as well."

Rob looked around and saw that the rail went to the back of the room, where the curtain was hanging.

"What is behind that?" He asked suspiciously.

"Just rubbish from the man who built all this, I didn't want to spoil the view, so I covered it all. You see, I wanted to do this with you in style."

She awaited his reaction, but Rob just stared at her.

Finally she asked, "Do you want to do a soft S&M session with me, Rob? I have asked you before as you always have intrigued me. You are not a normal sub, a lot of people would give me a lot of money to do a session with me, but it is I who am asking you"

"I am reluctant, I don't really know you, the only thing I know is that you have trained Marion, so you are much longer in this scene then her, more experienced and probably more capable of hurting me in a subtle manner. I don't know... I should have brought Inca and Nicky with me."

Confused, Bridget asked "Who are Nicky and Inca?"

"They are my Doberman friends and they are trained. " Rob added the last word with an ominous tone. "I once had Cathy untie me by just threatening her with them."

Bridget looked scared and blurted out, "You didn't..did you?"

Rob looked at her with a dark look "You don't know me," he warned her. "Had you heard about Iris?"

"Yes, someone gave her a beating, and she disappeared out of the scene."
Suddenly Bridget seemed to realize something. She took a step back from Rob, and said accusingly, "It was you who did it to her, didn't you?"

"That happens with people who mistreat me," he said coolly, "I make them regret it, sooner or later."

"I don't think I want to do a session with you!" Bridget suddenly was frightened.

"If you behave and do normal things, you are OK, but as soon you use things on me like needles, or give me heavy bruises, I will retaliate, have no doubt about that. I'm not like others, who will do everything for their Mistresses without question. I can go to a certain point and I will not allow Mistresses to stretch my limits all that far, if it all. I want that to be perfectly clear."

Bridget looked at him a bit astonished. "Where on earth did you get that nonsense from? A good Mistress will never do things what is not discussed before."

"I agree with you: 'A good Mistress'. But there are some who kidnap you and beat you to prove they are 'superior'; I am referring to Iris. I was so mad at her, that after her torment when I regained my strength again; I showed her hell!"

Bridget sighed. "OK, you made your point. Let's keep our relationship professional. I'm a saleswoman and maybe you will buy this device after you have tried it."

"Correct," Rob answered.

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