Tomatoz, Pepperz, and Butter Beanz

My first read through led me through a garden, with some slightly pervy sprites without knickers having fun polishing vegetables and braiding flowers. I thought it was nicely written, and a well constructed scene. However, reading the comments, I was alerted that there was something more... So I went back to read a couple more times. And indeed, there it is, framed by Z. Bravo, Harry — this is a damn good poem.

*****

I enjoyed the rhythm of the piece,

read tristess2 comment and both 1201s I initially agreed with Tess, but the Z is what I think helps your allusion and alignment, I wrote it out in my head with the s in the z's place and it loses some of the cheekiness, you start the zs off with buzzin round the garden which for me imprinted the sound and set the tone

this poem is far better than even you, harry, may think. My previous comment, was predicated by the fact of annoyance of the lack of depth on some of yours. the real strength in this poem is everything is hammered down by the internal alignment of the words, you are saying two things at once.the thing that is out of place z is repeated and adds another layer of meaning, maybe you will understand my annoyance at the reference of "journeyman" to you, my annoyance at your acceptance of "bottom rung" this is what you are capable of (and better) when you quit fucking around. Reread these comments, in between the words, they confirm.

have you been paid a visit by the deaz

I know my comments should be more substantial

stealthy sprite's, slippin'

Nice alliterationz

i 5ed