Tomorrow, My Babiesbyswallowedscream©
My head rests heavy on a wet pillow of guilt.
Trying to swallow but choking on regret,
wrapped in a blanket of shame.
Thoughts of redemption found in tomorrow
finally let me sleep.
But I wake to a today that feels like a yesterday,
and I fail you again.
I am sorry and I'm sorry.
Please, forgive me one more day —
I don't know where I've gone.
I am a moonlit shadow waiting for the dawn,
an echo of the person you love.
I rip out my heart
and punish myself with truth,
hoping to make it beat again —
for it barely even flutters even when you call to me,
Mama! with your own tiny hearts breaking, Mama!
I want to hold and rock you,
Tell you Shhh, Mama's here
But I have never lied to you before,
and I can't explain that
Mama's been eaten by emptiness.
So instead I say
Tomorrow, my babies
tomorrow I will play with you
as I watch a little more rose
leave the lenses of your eyes...
Mea Culpa, mea culpa
I am human too soon,
you needed me to be superwoman a little while longer.
But tomorrow —
yes tomorrow —
perhaps tomorrow, tomorrow will finally come.