Touch But Don't Look

[Author's note : All characters in this story are fictional and depicted as over 18]

*

Four weeks ago I was a sulky blind kid who didn't have a date for his senior prom.

Three weeks ago my fairy godmother said, "You shall go to the ball."

Two weeks ago she went back to her own life, leaving me to get ready for college.

One week ago I quit trying to make my family understand my choices and left early.

This week, I'm in Boston, settling into my new, independent life and learning my way around the city I'm going to call home for the next few years.

My name? Robbie Pugh -- and, please, no jokes about Blind Pugh. I heard them all in school when we read Treasure Island. I'm reading American History at Harvard, starting this fall. That fairy godmother I mentioned? She's Bernadette Kennedy, known to a generally shocked America as B and to her lovers as Honey B. I'm proud to say I am one of her many lovers and it doesn't matter how much scandal associates itself with her very public behaviour, I know -- know, mind you, not think -- that she is a warm, generous and beautiful person without whom none of my new life would be possible.

The week I spent with Honey B, culminating in my high school prom, was the most amazing, exciting, craziest time of my life. She taught me everything I know about sex -- I thought I knew quite a bit, but I was wrong. She's paying for my college place, paying for the hotel I live in -- Ok, that's not strictly true. The hotel is actually paid for by her... I don't know what to call Eric. He's more than a boyfriend, less than a husband. Let's just say he's her main squeeze. Anyway, Eric Kruppa -- Yes, that Eric Kruppa! Millionaire playboy, pornographer, photographer and notorious hedonist -- Eric has kept a suite at The Marriott since he graduated and inherited his father's business empire. He's maintained close links with his old Fraternity and visits here often enough to warrant keeping a suite. I haven't met Eric yet but, because of B, I'm living 'under his roof' for the next three years.

B, beside everything else, is one of the smartest people I've ever met. She knew long before I did, that I'd be in Boston sooner rather than later. When I called her to say things had got unbearable at home, there was already an open ticket for me at my local airport. By the time I got to Boston, she'd mobilized a limo from the hotel to pick me up and, when I reached 'my' suite, B's magic wand had filled the closet with new clothes, labelled shelves, hangers and drawers in Braille and had one of the bedrooms rearranged as a study. It won't be the last time I say this, but B is amazing.

Living alone is a new experience and, so far, a lot of fun, but breakfasting alone sucks. I tried it for two mornings before deciding that the coffee shop in the lobby was a much better option. That's where I am now. Finishing my second cup of coffee while I start this journal. I wonder what B's doing right now.

* * * * *

"More coffee, Robbie?"

"Thanks. Sorry, I don't recognise your voice." So many waitresses, so little time.

"No reason you should. I'm hypothetical." Her voice was a warm contralto with a west coast accent.

"Helen?" I guessed immediately that she wasn't actually a waitress.

"No. I'm Kelsey. B thought she'd better send someone a little closer to normal -- Just to see how you're settling in." She sat down opposite me.

"The coffee was a nice touch. A good ice breaker." And clearly a ruse to introduce herself.

"Thanks. I thought so too. So? How are you coping with Boston?"

"Fine. The staff here are taking excellent care of me. I'm missing B, but she didn't need to send you to find that out."

"Well maybe I'll be able to help with that."

"Hypothetically?" I recalled my conversation with B about other women.

"Robbie, B's told me everything you two did together. More. She showed me."

"Showed you?"

"Your tape recorder wasn't the only record. B has a little camcorder of her own."

"You said you were 'normal'?" I found myself unsurprised at the revelation about the video camera. Somehow it made sense: B would never keep anything private that she could possibly make public. I didn't for a moment feel betrayed by her. I love B too much to hold such indiscretions against her.

"Closer to normal. Normal for 'B World'. I can still count my lovers on my fingers... Ok, fingers and toes, but only if I include the girls."

"Ok. I think I understand normal now. How long are you here for?"

"As long as you want. Think of me as a girl you've just met. We'll hang out together, swap stories, get to know each other and see where it all leads. Ok?"

"Sure." I was sure I already knew where it would all lead. Consider the source: B wouldn't have sent Kelsey here to be a platonic friend. B doesn't do platonic.

"You can practice your seduction technique." Kelsey suggested.

"I don't have a seduction technique. I've had precisely one lover and she seduced me. I've only asked a girl out on a date once."

"And?"

"And she said no." I'd crashed and burned after that rejection, but B had turned up and pulled me out of the wreckage of my old life.

"Well that sounds like a good place to begin." Kelsey sat back and waited.

"Ok. Kelsey, would you like to go out sometime?"

"Sure, Robbie. When?"

"It's a warm day: A picnic maybe?"

"Oh, I can't today. I'm meeting my boyfriend at 1... Just kidding!" Kelsey's hand closed around mine. It was the first time we'd touched. "It's a great idea. Shall we go for a walk first? You can show me Boston. I've never been here before."

"I've only been here a week myself. We'll probably get lost."

"So? Getting lost together might be fun. C'mon." She stood, tugging on my hand until I got up too.

"Kelsey? May I?" I reached tentatively for her face, curious what she was like. Some people find it really disconcerting being 'seen' by the blind but it really does help us to relate to people.

"Be my guest." Her fingers on the backs of my hands directed me to her face and she was very patient while I mapped her features.

Kelsey was a couple of inches taller than B; curly hair, tied back; a longer nose than B's; high cheek bones; thin lips but quite wide and she was smiling when I touched them; no moustache, very thin eyebrows; a strong jaw line; good skin; bigger earlobes than B, not pierced. What's this? A necklace. I ran my fingers along the warm metal and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Kelsey's voice was really very pleasant to listen to.

"Your necklace. It's got Braille on it."

"It's B's actually. She lent it to me. She said you'd like it."

"That girl!" I shook my head ruefully. I've said it often before but it bears repeating: B is amazing.

"What does it say?" Kelsey was apparentlygenuinely oblivious to B's secret message.

"It says 'Touch but don't look.'"

Kelsey laughed too. I guess it wasn't the first time she's been set up by B. "Shall we go for that walk now?"

"Lead the way." I took her arm.

* * * * *

Kelsey was very pleasant company. For one thing, she smelt terrific. That's more important than you might think but consider the facts. I can't see girls, so what a person 'looks like' to me is defined by sound, scent and touch: usually in that order. Kelsey had quite understated perfume so it hadn't grabbed at my attention when I was mapping her face, but being my guide dog requires that someone be very close and perfume that had been under-whelming in the coffee shop was just right when we were arm in arm. Too many times, I've found women's scents overpowering: I don't rely on my sense of smell for navigation, the way I rely on my hearing, but it does help and I notice it's absence when I have a cold -- or when all I can smell is perfume.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make was that Kelsey ticked all the boxes. She sounded sweet, smelt sweet and the warmth of her arm against mine raised pleasant thoughts about soft skin and warm flesh. For all these reasons, and because B had sent her to me, I was doing my level best to be charming and entertaining.

"Did B really tell you everything?"

"I think she must have. She started with your Mom's letter and finished with your farewell fondle at the airport. I don't think she would have missed out anything in between." [Homecoming Queen]

"In that case, you've heard all my interesting anecdotes. Life before B was kind of dull." I didn't mind that B had shared all the intimate details of our time together.

"And we've broken the first rule of dating." Kelsey observed.

"Which is?" I knew, but was trying to keep the conversation going.

"Never talk about your ex lovers."

"B isn't my ex. At least... I hope not." I felt sudden trepidation. I'd had a few moments of panic when the thought crossed my mind that B might have exhausted my novelty value.

"Relax." Kelsey picked up on my tension. "She'll be back soon. You have three years tuition to work off."

"Did she say that?" I couldn't hide my excitement. Honestly, I didn't really try.

"Yes. But... Robbie? ... Breaking the first rule of dating is one thing -- B's a special case and she's important to both of us -- but it's really unflattering to sound so excited about her when you're with another girl." Kelsey was gentle about it but I took her point.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I trust I sounded suitably contrite. "This really is new to me. Dating."

"There must have been some." Kelsey tacitly accepted my apology and moved on. "What about Kelly?"

"That was B again. I never guessed that Kelly had any interest in me. I must have been blind."

"Robbie!" Kelsey playfully slapped my hand for making a bad joke.

"If I didn't laugh at myself, I'd cry. Besides, it lets everyone else off the hook if I mention it occasionally. You have no idea how often I hear uncomfortable silences when somebody realises they've mentioned seeing."

"Ok. Since our mutual friend has spoiled all your stories, want to hear some of mine?"

"Isn't it the second rule of dating? Don't spend the whole time talking about yourself?"

"Well, if you don't want to hear-"

"I just meant-"

"Teasing you." Kelsey halted us both. I felt her breath a moment before her lips touched my cheek. It was over in a moment and we were on the move again. "I think we'll have to break all the rules of dating. Want to hear how I met B?"

"I suppose it'll pass the time." I tried to sound casual. Yes, of course I wanted to hear her story. Not just because it was, in part, a story about my Honey B, but also because I'd heard B's brief version one night in Boise and the full, unexpurgated version was likely to be just as stimulating.

"You really do know how to make a girl feel special." Kelsey's contralto couldn't hide the sarcasm.

"Teasing you." I stopped us this time and turned towards her. Kelsey let me place a palm on her cheek to navigate by and seemed unsurprised when I 'missed' her other cheek with my lips. Kelsey's mouth opened slightly and our first proper kiss became much more worthwhile.

"Whoo Whee! B wasn't exaggerating." She rested her cheek on my shoulder and hugged me tightly. "She said you were a prodigy and I see what she meant." Kelsey didn't even notice that she'd mentioned seeing to a blind man. I told you the bad jokes put people at their ease.

"You were going to tell me your story." We were on the move again. Prodigy! B really said that?

"Let's get some groceries first... And somewhere quiet for our picnic." Kelsey steered me into a store and I carried the basket while she filled it.

Under a shady tree in the quietest corner of the Riverway, We ate bread and cheese and cold cuts, drank apple juice out of plastic wine glasses and I listened to Kelsey's titillating tale of how she hung onto her virginity for so long, how she decided Eric was that special someone she'd been saving it for and, most interestingly, How she actually gave it up to him. Believe me, she was very candid and her tale was very titillating. [That Special Someone]

* * * * *

"I'm so glad you didn't tell that story while we were walking around." I was very glad to be sitting down. If I'd been listening to a recording, I'd have had one hand full of Kleenex and the other full of... well you get the idea.

"Its so cute that you're still shy. I remember when I used to worry about things like that too." Kelsey held my hand. "Stay in B World much longer and you'll stop caring what the rest of the world sees. That should be easy for you, really."

"It should, shouldn't it?" I cannot express how relieved I was that Kelsey had broken the taboo about mentioning my lack of sight. I was really warming to her. "But its easier for girls -- If you get turned on, it isn't conspicuous."

"You think?" Kelsey lifted my hand to her shoulder. "What am I wearing?"

I traced the shoulder strap of her top. There was only one strap. "No bra."

"I said what am I wearing? Not, what am I not wearing?" She was motionless.

I felt my way along the neckline. "Not a lot. It's very low cut... Oh my!" I inadvertently brushed a nipple that was trying to poke through the cotton less than an inch from the edge of her camisole. "Sorry." I apologized by reflex.

"Don't be. Still think they're not conspicuous?"

"Point taken, but... next time you want me to touch your breasts, you only have to ask." She could have just said that nipples stick out, so I suspected an ulterior motive and called her on it.

For answer, she moved to sit with her back to me, reclining against my chest and drawing my arms around her. I could feel my erection pressing against her back so she must have felt it too. "I'm asking." Kelsey guided my hand back to her breast.

I pressed my face into her hair and breathed deeply, one soft tit cupped in my hand, its hot, hard bud pressed against my palm. This was the moment: the first time that I'd actually wanted to be intimate with someone other than B. And since B had created this situation, it wasn't betrayal; there would be no guilt. And I didn't think that through until later. As I inhaled Kelsey's fragrance and felt her heartbeat through her breast, all I had on my mind was how much I wanted her.

"I was supposed to play hard to get." Kelsey moved slightly against my painfully hard penis.

"You still can. We don't have to break every rule."

"We don't have to." Kelsey agreed. "But we're going to."

"If it's any consolation, you're already officially harder to get than any of my previous lovers: All one of them."

"I know, but she's a slut. I'm supposed to be the nice girl: The one you could take home to meet your folks. Put your hand inside... That's better." Kelsey moved my hand so that the cotton of her top was no longer an obstacle.

"You are the nice girl. This is nice." I squeezed her tit.

"Like that girl after your prom? Kelly?"

"Yes, like Kelly. She's a nice girl and she let me do this too."

"And what else did she let you do?" Was that an invite?

"I think I've found one of the rules of dating that's worth keeping." I took my hand out of Kelsey's top.

"Pardon?" She sat up and turned to face me.

"Always leave them wanting just a little more." I think that one is actually for the girls but I was going to use it anyway.

"No... No, no, no. This is so wrong... on every level. I'm playing hard-to-get and you're practicing seduction. That's what I came to Boston for."

"And I'm blind. I read Braille and your tit has been practically shouting 'Robbie, I'm yours.' for the last few minutes. Not so?"

"Busted!" Kelsey flung herself back at me. This time, while we kissed, my hands found their way into the back pockets of her jeans.

"Get a room!" I have no idea who yelled at us, but I am indebted to them for their timely and inspirational advice.

"We really should." Kelsey agreed with... whoever.

"I know a good hotel a few blocks from here."

"So what are we waiting for?" She got up, helping me to my feet. "Lead the way." Kelsey's arm snaked through mine.

"Smart ass."

She giggled and let me rearrange our arms so she could lead.

* * * * *

"Nice!" Kelsey let go of my arm as soon as we got through the door of the suite. Her voice put her in the middle of the reception room. "Been there... done that... and that's me!"

"Been where? Done what?" Hello? Confused blind guy over here!

"The pictures on the wall. That's Helen, that one's our mutual friend and that one over there is me, pre-ravishment."

"You're pointing at things, aren't you?"

"Oops." Kelsey came back down to reality with a bump. "Yes... I was... Sorry." By the time she'd got to 'sorry', she'd also got to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me tight. I nuzzled her hair and silently forgave her. She smelt and felt wonderful and the erection that had dozed off during the walk back from the park was waking again as I inhaled her fragrance.

"I didn't know Eric had decorated this place."

"I'm not surprised. Eric is always running out of wall space. I wonder who's in the bedroom."

I didn't resist when I was dragged along behind Kelsey. "Who?"

"Me and you." Her back was pressed against me now and my hands were folded across her smooth, firm abdomen. I was wondering how long she was going to ignore my hard-on.

"And on the walls?"

"All me. I think B decorated in here just for this occasion."

"So I've been sleeping with you for a week?" I thought it sounded like one of B's tricks too.

"So it would seem." Kelsey's ass moved against my erection. At last!

"Pre or post?"

"Oh, these are all post-ravishment: Very much so. I wish you could see them, Robbie."

"I can't, so you'll just have to show me in person." I moved my hands down her belly and unfastened the buckle of her belt. All that practice, undressing B, was about to be put to the test.

Kelsey only moved the minimum required to allow me to completely undress her. I resisted the urge to touch her any more than absolutely necessary until she was absolutely naked. Then I started at the top. She was smiling as I touched her lips, finding one fingertip briefly sucked between them and tickled with her quick, moist tongue.

She was patience itself as I mapped her body in exhaustive detail, noting her reactions as I briefly touched the sensitive zones at the nape of her neck; the backs of her shoulders, just where the crease of her armpit starts; the ripples of her ribs either side of her breasts; her areolae, naturally.

"What big breasts you have." Not really. I would have thought so if B had been my only frame of reference, but Kelly had given me an insight into the range available. Kelsey's were bigger than B's but not much.

"All the better to pillow your head with."

Running fingertips underneath her breasts made her giggle, as did my exploration of her navel, a vertical ellipse with a small knot in its centre that seemed perfectly balanced between being an innie and an outie. I traversed the contours of her waist and hips, feeling the architecture of her pelvis under her firm but delightfully smooth flesh. She giggled again as I traced her spine all the way down to the first hint of the cleft between her buttocks. Kelsey was evidently more ticklish than B. I knelt and continued, feeling the shape of her buttocks as I reached around her thighs.

"What a big ass you have." It was the biggest I'd ever felt -- biggest of two that is.

"All the better to sit on your lap with." Kelsey's voice, sweet enough all day, was low and even sexier. If I hadn't had her naked under my hands, her voice alone could have given me a boner. Everything she said sounded like 'fuck me'.

I moved my attention from her firm bottom to the backs of her thighs and found more of those erogenous zones that made her shiver as I touched them.